An up-DATE.

I know you were all waiting on pins and needles for me to talk about my second date! I’m sorry I’ve waited so long to update you all, but to make it up to you, I’ll give you the dirt on BOTH of the dates we’ve had since our 1st one. Yes, we’ve gone on three dates! How?!

I’ll call him ENFJ, because those are his Meyer’s Brigg’s letters and that’s how we were setup in the first place ā€” we are compatible in personality test results.

Anyway, for our second date, he picked me up and he had a bouquet of flowers! I’ve gotten flowers before, but usually they’ve been sent to my office or house (nothing wrong with either of those), never in-person. It was very sweet.

We went to the sushi place on the roof, where he made a reservation, so we were seated right away. We decided to order several rolls and share them, and the food was delicious. Since the place has a great view, we got drinks and went outside to enjoy it. Then, we took another stroll downtown, and headed back to the bar we went to after our first date.

There, we were talking to some people near us who offered to take our picture. It was a little too soon for that, but we took the picture and it turned out very cute.

When he drove me home, things were flirty, so I wasn’t surprised when we had a tiny make out session on my front stoop. He is a great kisser (major score).

He had plans to head out of town that week, so we went awhile without really talking or making plans to see each other. When he got back in town, I was getting ready to leave for vacation, so I asked him if he’d be down for meeting up mid-week so we could see each other.

He was down, so I drove the hour to see him after work last Wednesday for date #3.

We went to an upscale burger joint for food and a drink, then drove to a close cocktail bar where I had a champagne beverage and he had bourbon.

We got in some nice conversation before heading back to his house, where he asked me if I wanted to stay the night. I said I would, and we had a nice (innocent) cuddle and kissing session within the confines of his comfy bed.

In the morning, he was very sweet (shoulder kisses) and I left when he left for work.

I was honestly blown away. He’s so sweet, and sexy, and things are smooth.

But nothing stays that way, right?

When we were snuggling in his bed, I told him that sometimes I get the vibe that he doesn’t like me. He seemed confused as to why, because he does like me. I told him I just felt like he never really talked to me outside of our dates.

Since I said something, it hasn’t changed, and it gives me this uneasy feeling like he really is just not interested. And hey, I get it, not everyone is going to be into me. I can be a handful, I know.

But at this point, we’re adults, and we’ve spent some significant amount of time together, so he needs to let me know. So instead of sitting there, worrying about it, I chose to text him last night and ask him what was up. This was his reply:

“No, that’s not it. Work has been off the wall since I got back and I’ve been feeling a little sick too. It’s definitely not you at all!”

I said, “Okay.”

Around 8:40 pm, he texted me that he was still at work and could I talk tomorrow. I was pretty pissed off, so I told him I’d see how I felt.

My friend told me this was bitchy, but hear me out.

It’s this whole “busy” thing ā€” that shit gets on my nerves. It is the number one thing that pisses me off, actually. I’ve heard it from every single guy I’ve dated, and you know what? They are busy. Busy fucking other women.

Can someone be busy not fucking someone? Yes, of course. But you’re never too busy for someone, unless you’re not interested. So to me, he ain’t interested, OR he’s too busy for me.

Me? I’m dating to get into a relationship. So if he’s the kind of guy that I can’t talk to because his work is busy, then I’m not sure he’s the guy for me. What do you all think?

4 thoughts on “An up-DATE.

  1. Matthew says:

    Not to make him look bad (or worse than he does in regards to his comment), I know that for me…personally…when I liked a girl I would follow through with talking to her regardless of my schedule or how busy I was. If I was tired, and had been working until 10pm, but we had plans to talk that night I’d still at least call for a brief chat (which in the past inevitably always turned into talking late into the evening).

    Now the thing is, he may just not be THAT sort of guy. Some/most guys get fairly set-in-their-ways so deviating can be tough, particularly when it comes to work and how serious they are about their careers. He may really dig you, but doesn’t deviate from his schedule when it comes to work/sleep.

    But in the end…again, for me, when it came to a girl I liked I’d make it work one way or another.

    • Yeah, I’m the same way you are. I have a date with someone else this weekend, so I’m going to let this guy do his thing and we’ll see if he comes back around or not. I’ll fill you in next week!! -L

  2. Fun Philly says:

    I dated a guy like that… I called him Perry in my blog. I got such mixed messages and it pissed me off. We would go out to eat, have an evening that may range from pg 13 to rated R and I may not hear from him for a few days. The thing that I think pissed me off was he was soooo damn busy. Busy doing what?. I had (have) a sick mother who lived with me who I was running back and forth to the hospital, worked full time, I was (am) raising two kids solo, my father was sick in a nursing home, I visited him three to four times a week and I was going to school whenever I could fit in a course or two. But he was fucking busy? We only ever talked or texted when he was setting up a date.

    I had to cut my loses but before I did I wasted a year in purgatory, run!

    • In general, I’ve always thought that girls were better at multi-tasking/maintaining a full schedule than a man. However, it shouldn’t matter. I think people MAKE time for those they want to… so it sounds like you did the right thing!! -L

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