An update on the update…

Ugh, this week has been CRAZY at work — I cannot tell you just how happy I am that tomorrow is FRIDAY, and I’m really looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday.

Anyway, to give you an update on my date situation… After I was pissed off Tuesday night (last week), he called me Wednesday night. I missed the call due to showering (for once), and called him back.

He told me that what he said was true, work had been crazy ever since he’d returned from vacation, and he hadn’t been feeling well. He also told me that he was a little bummed out after visiting with his friend…

You see, she is a childhood friend — his best friend — and he met her girlfriend, who lives with her, and he said it just felt different, like he knows they’re going to get married, and he felt like his friendship would be different because of it.

To me, that was understandable, but wasn’t really making up for the weird way he’d been acting.

And then he really said it…

He told me that while he was out of town, he had a visit with his ex girlfriend.


Oddly, I knew she lived in the city he was visiting, because on our first date, I asked him about his last serious relationship. He told me that he dated this girl for a year, and he got a job offer 15,000 miles away. She looked for jobs in the same city, got one, and moved there. When he started packing his boxes, his job fell through…

So now she lives there (has lived there for a year) and he lives here.

I don’t know if that was the first time they saw each other since all of that happened, and I don’t know if they tried the whole long-distance thing.

What he told me was that they met up, and she told him that she hated her boyfriend (umm, ok) and she decided that since she was never going to find love, she was just going to focus on her career.

Dear God.

He said he felt guilty. Really guilty.

He also said he wasn’t even going to tell me about it because, “it isn’t a big deal, she lives 15,000 miles away…” but obviously it was a big enough deal for him to act weird toward me.

Really, that was a week ago and it was the last time we talked. He ignored my text in the following days afterward, and told our mutual friend who set up up that he “needed to call Lucky.”

He called me last night, and I didn’t answer it, because I’m trying to avoid that whole “It’s not you, it’s me” conversation… he left a voicemail, which said:

“Hey Lucky, it’s Matt. I wanted to touch base with you a little bit because I haven’t really been in contact. So, give me a call, or I’ll shoot you a text, and we’ll touch base then. Have a good night. Bye.”


2 thoughts on “An update on the update…

  1. Fun Philly says:

    I would head this off at the pass, your gut is telling you what to do, if it WERE no big deal, he wouldn’t have told you about it no more than he would tell you what he had for dinner unless you asked. I would tell him I would like to take a beat because you need to decide if you want to continue dating him you need (insert needs)… if he likes you like that he will reassure you that everything is fine and make attempts to find time for you in his life but I don’t believe he will. If that isn’t going to be a “it’s not you, it’s me talk”, I would still cut my loses. He may just have that type of personality but it sounds like you need more, I sure do.

    Good luck…

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