Category Archives: Q & A

Remember Jesus Belt? He’s baaaaack.

Well kind of.

If you’re a long-time reader, you’ll remember Jesus Belt (JB) as my old editor for the magazine. I started off hating him, then developed some weird type of crush on him, then ended up getting some amazing oral sex from him during his “break” from a girlfriend.

That is all you need to know.

Occasionally, he will text me to see what I’m up to and how I’m doing—he still works at the magazine, but lives many states away…and still has that stupid girlfriend.

In late January, he texted me because he had had a dream about me. In it, he said, I was wearing a red, formal evening gown, and I was standing among the ashes of a burned building.

To his defense, he was on pain killers.

Yesterday morning, this conversation happened via text message:

JB: Oh, my, god. Every once in a while, you surface in a dream, and it’s just great. Don’t mean it to be creepy, but as a compliment (just woke up from it).

ME: Ha! Were you on pain killers this time?!

JB: Nope! I didn’t even drink last night.

ME: Wow! So what happened this time?

JB: I bet it’s because we only fooled around such a limited amount, and my poor brain is rebelling against the limitations of our experience…Lucky! It was rather graphic; not sure I could just text it all out…combo of the real first night, and then a bit more, a fabrication in-line with what I would’ve liked but never got.

ME: haha, you make me laugh.

JB: Laugh it up, Lucky. I should write it out as well. I can keep it for a bit. Maybe I’ll do that to get myself into the days’ writing.

ME: I’m really glad I make such an impression in your dreams!

JB: I’m glad, too.

ME: You should write it out and send it to me, anonymously.

JB: I’m only pretending to be sensitive. What! You’ll know it was me!

ME: Well yeah, but you’re so bashful about it.

JB: I can do that but I’m not sure I’m interested in a mere one-time exchange…

ME: You want to be pen pals?

JB: Jesus, how are you? I sure hope I didn’t cold text you in the middle of some kind of travesty, all excited about my randy dreams… I’m interested. Fair is fair, is all I’m saying.

ME: No travesty here! I am just sitting at my desk at my lame day job.

JB. Jesus! Well, then…surrounded by co-workers, I’m sure?

ME: No, I have my own office.

JB: Ohhkay! I need to shake off my weirdness and go to work, I suppose. But you ought to Facebook me your address, if you want to receive a note sometime.

ME: I will.

JB: Lets chat more soon; I should get up and get moving. Oh, thanks for the delicious intrusions, Lucky!

ME: You are welcome!

JB: I hope writing it out doesn’t remove it from whatever part of my brain keeps gifting me with it; much of it this morning was just crystal clear: the lightly beaded sweat on the inside of your thighs, your soft little moan, the insistent movements of your hips as you thrust yourself up against my tongue…

ME: Damn. I’ve heard dreams are just random thoughts in your brain…

JB: I don’t think they are ‘random.’ It’s your mind’s relief valve…doesn’t mean you’ll always get what you’d expect to have under pressure, but you’ll get something.

ME: That makes sense.

JB: I probably read your status update a week ago, looked at a few photos like a creep, and then this morning, right before I woke up…there you were.

ME: Oh yeah, I’m sure I looked really hot in my Justin Bieber t-shirt.

JB: Not sure I saw that one.

ME: Don’t look at it.

JB: I wrote a lot last night, wonder if that had some effect.

ME: Wrote about what?

JB: Ha! The healing characteristics of charcoal, and how to make it in the wilderness.

ME: That wasn’t it!

JB: Perhaps you don’t give full credit to the strangeness of the brain. I spent some of that time listening to an interview with Ernest Hemmingway in Spanish, and some part of that time in rage, castigating myself for abandoning so much that’s been important to me, regretful of these last years of editing over writing, management over art…it may be hard for you to see any doors whereby you could slink into my brain within those context, but I’m not surprised.

ME: Now it gets interesting.

JB: God only knows what I’ve assigned you, or even merely the feminine of you, the sweet-smelling distillate of Lucky…the one that got away? One I was too stupid to pursue? The possibilities are endless, as far as your subconscious.

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Analyze this, 2.

Further conversations with M, for your discussion and amusement.

M: Sure could use some Starbucks right now


M: Yup. Boredom tends to make me tired. If only someone with a big heart lived close by…
L: ohhh geez…
M: Only kidding
L: I am still at work though. Bored as well.
M: Yeah…work can be a drag sometimes. Gotta make that paper though.
L: Yes! Can’t pay bills with sexy.
M: Technically you can haha. Just not legal and frowned upon

L: You know what I mean.
M: I think they call that prostitution? Yes i know what you mean. Another failed attempt at being funny
L: You’re ruining my wit.
M: Michael – 0 Life- 2 …Can’t help it

L: Its okay… I guess.

M: We can work on my sense of humor
L: No, I think you are funny!
M: Is that what you thought the night we met? Or did I  misinterpret?
L: if you hadn’t had said “girlfriend” to me 100 times maybe it would have meant something else
M: Lol is that so?
L: that’s what i said. Is work busy?

M: Its spotty. Hit or miss. The demographic in this area makes it difficult at times.
L: you mean awesome people?
M: Hmmm…you are an awesome person, but most locals are special. But see you’re not from here, which explains your awesomeness

L: real speak
M: True story, i ask a customer for the security question to his account. What’s your favorite hobby? He says the following. “Oh daaamn…its S E X.” Fought so hard not to laugh. Brotha spelled sex for me because he was too embarrassed to say the word. As if i was a dumb baby and wouldn’t know what he was spelling.
L: HAHA that’s quite a hobby
M: True. I muttered, “at least one of us is getting some.”
L: He probably isn’t if he said that

M: You’re probably right…Im bored. Tell me a secret!
L: Um… no! is that why you are talking to me… because you are bored?
M: No thats not why. I had a lot of fun talking to you that night. So i want to keep talking to you. If that’s alright with you
L: I was just making sure
M: Why do you think I’m talking to you?
L: Because I am awesome.
M: Well there you go!

L: how late do you have to work?
M: No but i really did enjoy your company maam. You’re fun, cute, interesting, passionate, and a fan of wine purses.
L: Well, thank you… so do you have a clone who is single??
M: Hmmmm…still working on that. Close but the science isn’t quite there yet. I am an actor though. Could possibly pull a Mrs. Doubtfire

L: oh geez

M: Lol i kid. Would be funny though
L: not for me!
M: True. I’d never want to upset miss Lucky
L: That’s a good philosophy
M: Yup. Its hard for me to remember that philosophy and behave at all times. Things like smoothies, Starbucks, haribo gummy bears, and yogurt help me stay the course. Just saying…
L: Just saying… what?!
M: Grrr another failed attempt at being cute and witty on my part
L: I got it
M: Oh ok haha

L: If you were SINGLE… I would be right there with your Starbucks and pound of gummy bears. Duh.
M: Just saying you better pamper me like a good sugar mama or else!
L: Or else…

M: you dont want to know buddy

L: oh okay

M: so when are we going to go see that movie “mama”?
L: uh, never, I would be scared shitless
M: just cover your eyes during the scary parts, duh
L: um, the entire movie looks scary
M: nah…i heard it was a dark comedy

L: liar.
M: never
L: boys are usually liars.
M: not this boy

L: Oh yeah? You are very smoothly avoiding my questions about your girlfriend
M: i do have a girlfriend lol…you never asked about her. You just said its too bad i had one
L: ok ok

M: so i havent avoided anything in theory
L: smooth
M: trust me, i am far from smooth.

L: I’ll take your word for it
M: if i were up to no good i never would have mentioned her to begin with. so that right there should get me some brownie points with you
L: How come she wasn’t at the actor’s thing?
M: she lives out of town. she had the flu that weekend and we have been having our issues a of late. ask all the questions you’d like. just dont write an article about it
L: That sucks. I have dated someone long distance before
M: yeah…
L: seems like an hour wouldn’t be a hassle, but it can be
M: heck yeah. especially when you work full time, act, audition, take classes, etc… hard to justify driving up there for just a few hours
L: yeah for sure
M: but we knew what we were getting in to beforehand
L: Love conquers all
M: yes maam…so whats your story?
L: about what?
M: why is an awesome gal like yourself single?

L: Haven’t found my match yet
M: what kinda person would ideally be your match
L: I could say all of the usual things, funny, honest, driven… but what I’m really looking for is a spark
M: yeah, a spark is where its at…that rare connection
L: It’s not hard to get guys… but most of them are the same
M: when you first wrote spark, i read it as spank.

L: HAHA…no comment there
M: my bad. i read it quickly, had to do a double-take

L: No, spaRk.
M: i am aware now. yes, finding a spark is tough. what youre really looking for is someone that is also like your best friend. the two of you share that rare connection, you dont have to necessarily have everything in common, just love being around one another. actually have things to talk about.

L: Yeah, absolutely.
M: my old boss told me this. “dont worry about finding the prettiest girl in the room to marry. find a gal that you can actually stand being around, and one with a job.” haha. he says at the end of the day all the girls end up getting old and looking the same. having a best friend is where its all at
L : Lol that’s great advice
M: right?! isnt it! i was like damn…ive been doing this all wrong

L: Looking for the pretty ones?
M: the pretty ones with no substance and wondering why i would grow tired of them quickly. They had nothing intellectually to offer…finding the total package is an ass whipping
L: Oh yeah
M: im not too worried about it though. im still young and have plenty of time.
L: Of course!

M: gahhhh im so bored, but thats not why im talking to you
L: How much longer do you have?
M: stuck here until 8
L: Only 3 more hours!
M: what i keep telling myself

L: I have volunteer training until 9…it could be worse!
M: What kind of training?
L: I am training to become a CASA
M: Ahhhh thats a tough gig emotionally
L: Yeah. I’m scared.

M: I helped casa in Austin setup their document management system when i was working with Xerox. They were spending a ridiculous amount of money storing docs with iron mountain.
L: What’s iron mountain?
M: Storage company. They store and shred documents for companies. They aren’t liable if a disaster happens and they lose or mess up your boxes of files.
L: Oh gotcha

M: Plus they charge every time you need to retrieve stuff. So i sold them on managing that stuff electronically.
L: Damn
M: Anyways…my nerd days
L: Nerd alert.
M: Whoop whoop
L: Sell any phones yet?
M: Lol no. Stop rubbing it in.
L: Haha sorry
M: Don’t make me beat you up

L: I would kick your ass. I do box 3 times a week!
M: Lets wrastles than!!
L: Oh lord

M: I will beat that ass senorita

L: Haha! You are ridiculous.
M: What makes you say that
L: You thinking you could beat me.
M: Well i will give it my all. I have something you don’t. Winners heart

L: I suppose

M: but being as how im a nice guy, i would probably let you win. go easy on you.
L: That’s good. Tonight is my last night of training… 32 hours.
M: man, kudos to you. thats a respectable thing you are doing. what made you want to get involved?
L: I actually read a book about a child abuse case. I had the chance to talk to the author and was just really inspired.
M: thats awesome
L: Its cheesy. But truthful.
M: not cheesy at all, i admire folks like you, plain and simple. This makes me smile. I’d so do a picture like this.
L: Haha omg
M: isnt it great?

L: Pretty funny
M: im a sweetheart buddy
L: We will see
M: haha you will
L: Time will tell
M: sounds like you are expecting me to end up being a slimeball lol

L: Of course!
M: why is that?
L: Well… Lots of guys are
M: lots of gals are fake and shady, so…….should i worry about you? are you satan trying to break up a happy home

L: I wouldn’t ever want to do that.

M: i know lol
L: And I hope I don’t come across as shady or fake, but I guess you never know
M: True. Just like you are naturally inclined to think I have impure intentions
L: Yeah. Learned behavior.

M: I’ll just clear the air. Yes im attracted to you and dig you…i mean we are human beings. Its natural. However, I do have a gf and need to be a good partner. Tough world we live in.
L: Yeah
M: One more hour and im a free man. Been craving some red velvet cupcake batter from the yogurt place. Im such a beast!
L: I’ve got 2 more hours. My training buddies are really started to piss me off.
M: What are they doing?

L: For lack of a better term… Being fucktards.
M: Hmmm so descriptive, Poor girl
L: I’ve just been here every other day for 3 weeks. When I went to the showcase, I was coming from 6 hours of it.
M: So showcase no matter how lame it might have been, was a giant stress reliever for you haha. You’re a trooper

L: I wasn’t going to go honestly. Patrick got my number some suspect way and called me the day before and I was like uhhhh what??
M: Oh Patrick lol…now he is a smooth criminal. Not me.
L: I was like how did you get my number?? He said he called the magazine, which is pretty scary.
M: He is a smooth talker. Wouldn’t be surprised if they just handed over you number lol

L: At the gym he seems like a douche. He always calls me Mindy.
M: Lol too funny
L: So yeah I wasn’t jumping at the chance to kiss his ass for the story
M: i didnt think there was much of a story to begin with. when patrick told lauren he would try to invite you i was thinking, why? lol
L: There could have been a story way before the showcase, I suppose. But the real story is Lauren and the class in general.
M: i suppose you’re right, the real story is about hollywood mike
L: After going, I appreciated him giving me a heads up. I wouldve had no idea.
M: no idea about what?
L: An acting class or eager actors in the area, really.
M: yeah, its pretty crazy.
L: Very interesting
M: you should start taking classes lol
L: Yeah so I can kiss hot guys
M: lol oh yeah? that would be fun haha…assuming i am one of the said hot guys

L: I remember judy and victoria? I think talking about it, I was like shit I need IN
M: Haha yeah
L: God I am despie
M: Depsie? Desperate?
L: Yeah. I was only kidding. Totally not despie.
M: Nah. Gal like you shouldn’t be.
L: No way! Hey, you made it!
M: Made the cut?
L: Got through your shift?
M: Oh haha. Yes i did
L: Yay!

M: Only 1 more hour left for you
L: I already got my certificate… I think we will get out early
M: Look at you go. Growing up right before my eyes
L: Go me!

M: Pretty cool. No lie. So what does the rest of your night have in store for you?
L: Probably do some writing, you?
M: Probably just hang out at the house with my dogs and have a beer or 2. Nothing too exciting
L: But you have tomorrow off!
M: True. Nothing fun going on though. No one is around

L: Aawww
M: Yup, but its ok. I enjoy my time to myself.
L: Ditto
M: Just as long as i have a beer or wine though lol

L: Alchi!
M: The pot calling the kettle black
L: Precisely why I said it
M: Im sure we would get along just fine.
L: From what I recall, you’d just make fun of me!
M: That’s my way of being smooth. Still rocking those playground tactics. If you like a girl you push her in the sand.
L: I guess that works for you!
M: I dunno…is it working?
L: Let’s see… You have a girlfriend and you’ve been chatting with me nearly all day?
M: Sounds terrible
L: Oh geez
M: What?
L: Nothing
M: Oh just tell me
L: tell you what?
M: What you meant by oh geez
L: i thought you were going to give me a lecture
M: Nope, You’re too smart to be lectured
L: touche, drinking yet?

M: I am. Are you?
L: no!
M: Lame!
L: haha what are you drinking?
M: Michelob ultra lol. Like a sissy. Gotta watch my figure boo
L: I feel ya…those are what, 70 calories?
M: 95
L: drag, a good beer is like 200. shit is rough
M: I know. I am usually a beer snob

L: whats your favorite?
M: Guinness is one of my favorite. Youngs double chocolate stout, boddingtons is another goodie. You?
L: You like the dark shit, nice. I have always liked newcastle.
M: Nice
L: delish!
M: Very. I dig a gal that likes a good beer.
L: Have you been to the brewery? Did we have this conversation?
M: I have not
L: It is so fun! i have been a few times.. but i just took my mom over Christmas
M: You should take me sometime
L: perhaps
M: I will put that on my bucket list
L: alright
M: How is the writing coming along?
L: good. just working on some blogs… nothing difficult
M: Let me know if im distracting you
L: not at all
M: So what blogs are you working on
L: omg… nerd alert. I have a few blogs, but the one im working on now is one that corresponds with the class I teach, on blogging. a blog on blogging.
M: Hey nerds are sexy ass people
L: it sounds really dumb, but it’s pretty successful
M: Nah I’m sure it makes sense and is really good
L: it is nerdy, but i get into it, i wish i could only do that
M: It’s honestly not nerdy at all. Props to you for being passionate about something and actually following through on it
L: my next class starts in feb…thats the really fun part
M: I have always fantasized about Romancing a teacher…I kid!!!!
L: I think every guy probably has?
M: We are such creeps
L: this is just no good
M: You’re telling me
L: haha
M: I blame you
L: why!
M: You had to show up at that darn showcase
L: ha, sorry. I won’t let anything happen.
M: Oh so you are the strong willed one eh?
L: yeah! i will just punch you in the face
M: Lol deal
L: when do you get to see her next?
M: Maybe this weekend
L: that’s good
M: Yes maam. When do i get to see you next lol…Im going to come on to you all the time now that i know you will punch me in the face
M: Test those kickboxing skills
L: guys come on to me all the time, im not afraid
M: It’s on!
L: Oh… What have I done!
M: I’m No Ordinary guy. you have been warned. Not gonna lie, i left that bar that night thinking Damn i had a great time talking to Lucky. If only…
L: it happens
M: Ever see that movie serendipity?
L: i love that movie! minus all the turquoise jewelry
M: First thing i thought of that night lol
L: should i put my phone number in a book?
M: Yes! Lets agree to both go shopping one time and see if we happen to reach for the same pair of gloves
L: haha
M: You should totally be a good friend and give me a key to your place. That way i can nap on your couch during my lunch breaks while you’re at work. Just saying…that’s what real friends do
L: HAHA no it isn’t!
M: Im from Texas. Yes it is.
L: so what you are from texas, what does that mean? you wear fucking spurs?
M: Only in bed
L: haha Jesus
M: Blog about that…The night i was spurred
L: LOL omg quit…too funny
M: Don’t worry, i won’t bite. Maybe nibble, but not biting.
L: you need to be punched
M: Do it!
L: I’m going to have to keep count
M: Im shaking in my boots
L: should be
M: Why is that?
L: because i throw a pretty rough jab
M: Oh so we are going to do this mr. And mrs. Smith style?
L: not really what i was thinking
M: I know! That’s two to tally for me now right?
L: i’ll keep the count, not you
M: I know. Just trying to help. So what am i at now?
L: not telling!
M: Well in order to punch me you are going to have to actually see me ma’am
L: i am aware of this fact
M: So I’m not worried 1 bit. You are never going to want to hang out with me therefore you can’t hit me.
L: if that makes you feel better
M: What does that mean?
L: exactly what it says
M: Well I hope it is not the case
L: that i never see you?
M: Yes
L: i dont think it will be
M: Just promise to punch me if i act a fool
L: promise
M: Good girl
L: how many of those brewskis have you had?
M: On my third. Why? Am i acting dumb?
L: no, no I was just curious
M: Lol ok…Had me worried for a second
L: are you kidding me? are you aware of how many glasses of wine i had that night?
M: Yeah but you didn’t do anything silly or embarrassing
L: it was over a long span of time. i had that going for me
M: You were nothing but a lady
L: thank you
M: Don’t mention it
L: i am so glad tomorrow is friday!!
M: Me too! Big plans?
L: every friday i meet my friends for margaritas…mexican friday!
M: Jealous
L: its a shit show…pretty shocked the restaurant still lets us in
M: Which restaurant
L: M* P******! so i can stumble home of course
M: Just you and a bunch of girlfriends?
L: its usually girls and guys
M: Nice
L: yeah, just an easy friday night
M: Sounds like a lot of fun
L: most things are fun when i am drinking
M: Do tell
L: haha tell what!
M: All the fun things that happen when you drink
L: for the most part, i am a pretty composed drunk… or so, i’d like to think
M: Everyone thinks that about themselves haha
L: It’s been awhile since i wokeup with massive regrets
M: What sorts of things do you end up regretting?
L: the night before i interviewed the bachelor… i went to mexican friday and then T** C****** and i have learned that t** c*******… ends up ridiculous. i dont know how much i drank or how late it was, but i was telling everyone not to let me miss the interview because i knew the bachelor would be so hot. i had to stay with a friend because obvi i couldnt drive and i wokeup still drunk. he called me to say he was running late and my voice was nearly gone
M: Oh my
L: he was like ARE YOU OK??? i was like omg no no i am already ruining my chances, so i met him at the coffee shop and he was looking all perfect and i looked like trash, i was like HOLD ON I NEED COFFEE. it was awful i felt like a fuck tard
M: You should have been punched in the face
L: i left the interview and just drank all day, i was like well fuck that
M: Such a rowdy girl you are. Gonna have to put you in timeout
L: it was going to take way more effort to get sober, so i just rode that buzz on out
M: so much easier to be bad than good
L: spoken like a true alcoholic
M: Story of our lives
L: you are so dramatic, is that why you’re into acting?
M: Acting is an escape for me. A chance i guess to be all these other awesome characters. Plus it’s an amazing feeling knowing that you could be a part of something that for at least two hours, helps someone forget about their own life or problems. Something that touches them emotionally. Oh man…i think im schwasted
L: HAHA do you have to work this weekend?
M: Just Saturday. Why do you ask?
L: just making conversation… you’re over there chugging beers and not talking
M: Pssshhhh if anything I have been doing too much talking
L: alright, im going to sleep drunky
M: Im not drunk maam. You have yourself a good evening though. Its been a lot of fun talking today.
L: yes it has… have a good night!
M: You too. Don’t be a stranger. Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite

L: wakeup!! I have a question

M: Grrrr yes maam?
L: dont be salty. Ok, Lauren gave me 3 types of methods you all work on. 1. Morris, 2. Meisner, and 3… some crazy ass name that I cannot spell. What is the 3rd one?
M: Chuvick i think. Google ivanna chubick and im sure it will correct you
L: yes thats it! Thank you!
M: You are very welcome
L: you doing okay this morning?
M: I am. How about yourself gorgeous?
L: I am doing great! I am actually going to make my deadline, which means I have NO work to do this weekend… that never happens!
M: What are you going to do with your weekend of freedom?
L: go to the gym, see a movie or two, read, work on a poem… and drink of course.
M: My kinda weekend
L: I am looking forward to it
M: What movie are you going to see?
L: Either Silver Linings, or the impossible.. or both if I’m feeling really eager.
M: I bet you are Jk jk
L: and 1 tally already today
M: Lol, Yes!!
L: did you stay up playing speed by yourself and get hammered?
M: Ummm no. I played wiggy wiggy with myself Lol
L: You…
M: No…you…
L: No words
M: Pssshhhh i was only kidding
L: i woke up an hour before my alarm
M: That’s always a good feeling
L: not when it’s 5:30!
M: True
L: Don’t worry. I watched some Boy Meets World.
M: My fav show! That tapanga was a hotty
L: corey thought he was turning into a werewolf
M: A classic
L: I hate it when TV shows get the plots wrong though… have you ever noticed how in the later episodes they say Corey and Tapanga always wanted to be together?
M: I have not noticed that
L: like no, no they didn’t! They hated each other as kids. Where are the legit writers on this damn show?!?!
M: Didn’t she break up with him
L: I’m not sure. But it boils my blood.
M: Easy there killer. Just take a deep breath.
L: haha I’m okay
M: Would have had to put you in timeout. No ice cream for you!
L: I’m not a fiend like you.
M: Well nonetheless, no dessert for you. Which means im off limits!
L: I’ll just give patrick knight a call
M: Lol touché…So technically you’re going back for seconds?
L: You know that I’ve never touched him! we were talking before the showcase, I asked him, “When did you get into acting? High school? College?” … he said… “Dating.” Asshole.
M: Lol what an answer
L: and that is why he is single.
M: I used to be like him. Got old after awhile.
L: He was the first person that approached me when i joined the gym… and immediately everyone was like NOOOOO
M: Haha poor guy…Guess what?!
L: What?
M: Its margarita Friday
L: Yes, it is.
M: You can get white girl wasted And walk home: )
L: what does that even mean?
M: White girl wasted?
L: yeah
M: Silly girl drunk. Loud, giggly, maybe emotional, uncoordinated, stumble, fall down and bruise your knee, and maybe lose your phone after drunk dialing/texting an old flame
L: Do you really think that’s what I do?
M: No
L: …right.
M: Thats the one thing missing online, Tone and inflection. You cant hear how i say something. Just misread it
L: Yeah, I got you
M: And on that low note  i will be hopping in the shower my friend. Need to go get my hurrrr did.
L: Alright
M: Hit me up later maam P.S. i promise i dont think you’re an alchy
L: haha I don’t care if you do
M: Fair enough
L: Can’t stop my hustle!
M: Would never try and get in front of that train
M: LATER!!!!
L: Well, did you get extensions?
M: No  they didn’t have any in my color
M: Don’t rub it in. I already feel bad enough. Was really looking forward to getting those extensions.
L: Aw, sorry
M: Its ok. There is always next time right
L: true! I finished all of my work about 4 hours early…
M: I will just have to be marginally handsome until then. That’s good!
L: I know, but now I don’t know what to do with myself
M: Want to grab coffee?
L: I have to sit in my office until 4-ish
M: Boooooo
L: corporate problems!!!!
M: Those are good problems
L: yeah I know…i thought you were going to see a movie?
M: I was. Might do that later.
L: alright
M: Just winging it at this point
L: i gotcha
M: You better!
L: or what?
M: Ill spank your behind Or punch you in the face
L: haha, thumbs down.
M: You must be really bored at work haha
L: I can always go find something to do…
M: So fiesty, Easy there tiger
L: it’s all good
M: Do we need to box?
L: noo…
M: Wrestle?
L: Definitely not.
M: Just hug it out?
L: haha just rack up the tallies
M: Oh my. Didn’t realize i was being a douche
L: you’re not!
M: So how am i racking up tallies lol
L: the tallies aren’t for being douchey…at least that’s not what I thought?
M: Oh they are for every time i come on to you.Right
L: haha
M: Wrestling isn’t a come on line though, I just really hate women lol
L: HAHA…right
M: Soooo…..
L: what part of town do you live in?
M: Tigerland. I found a place on craigslist when i was in Austin. Signed a lease before seein the apt or knowing the area
L: that’s annoying. is it crazy on the weekends?
M: Didn’t really matter at the time because i thought I’d only be here for six months. Its not too bad anymore
L: thats good
M: Yup…Next time you are hanging out at Freds call me lol
L: omg Fred’s used to be my jam, don’t tempt me
M: Its a nice walk home for me haha
L:they do jager shots straight from the bottle to your mouth… fucking awesome
M: Ahh for real?
L: yeah at like midnight the bartenders just get on the bars and turn the bottles upside down, it just gets super packed in there, with 18 year olds haha
M: Yeah. Im not a fan of crazy crowds lol. Man im getting old
L: yeah thats why i quit going… i couldnt stand it and i felt really old
M: How old are you?
L: how old do you think i am
M: 25
L: i am 27
M: Im 28
L: i remember
M: What else do you remember
L: i know you think i was completely shitfaced but i do remember!
M: I didn’t think you were! Im really asking what else you remember lol
L: i remember that your jacket had elbow patches and that you went to the rodeo and you want to sleep at the haunted house
M: Yes lol. Pretty sure those patches turned you on.
L: i love an elbow patch! i remember you said you dont like bloody marys and that you were only going to do acting full time for a little while and move back if it didnt work out
M: Yeah. Figure i will give it another two years or so. At some point i have to be realistic and honest with myself. Don’t want to be a struggling actor forever. Would have to lead a comfortable life and have a family and all that crap. Travel a lot!
L: yeah definitely, its cool that you’re giving it a try though
M: Yeah. I would hate myself later in life if I did not try and pursue my dreams.
L: real speak, i also remember you saying, “I don’t get it. how do you write stories if you’re drunk ALL THE TIME”
M: That was my way of flirting AND clearly it worked!
L: i was thinking… who the fuck is this person
M: Lol im sorry if i have ever said anything offensive. I was kinda tipsy myself. Plus im really good at saying all the wrong things. Something sounds so great in my head but as I start to open my mouth it comes out completely different
L: you were tipsy? i felt like everyone was taking it easy
M: I was taking it was easy towards the end. Don’t need another DWI in my life. Im a much different person now compared to two years ago
L: omg thats so scary, ditto on the different
M: Yeah. Honestly though getting the DWI was the best thing that could have happened to me. It put my life into perspective it made me really look at the things that I made a priority in my life. I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here if that had not have happened. I would probably still be doing the same things, going out and getting wasted and trying to pick up women. Patrick and I would have been best friends 2 years ago
L: that’s interesting, why do you think you did that before?
M: How i was brought up through high school and college. My college was a PARTY town. Puts *** to shame. So my idea of a good time, or bonding and having a good friendship was always associated with going out and getting drunk. Blackout drunk!
L: damn
M: Then laughing the next day as people told you about the things that you did that you don’t remember. I don’t regret anything. Just another lesson in life. I think that’s why sometimes I can come across as an old man. All the going out and socializing is kind of old for me. Seeing as how I did it for so long. I like going places now that aren’t so crowded and loud so that way I can actually hear what that person that I’m with is saying
L: yeah, definitely, it’s really easy to feel old in a college town
M: Yup
L: but i think mostly, going to ragers isn’t for people who are 27-28, i think the “old” feeling is actually just being normal
M: So have i scared you off yet
L: no way, although, im never going to attempt to drink you under the table
M: I dunno…im sort of a light weight these days. I stopped drinking liquor because that’s when “uncle mike” would come out lol My tolerance has gone down a tad
L: uncle mike?
M: Lol you know how everyone has a creepy uncle mike?
L: haha
M: When i would get super wasted uncle mike would come out, Start creepin on ladies
L: oh my

M: I would whisper in girls ears “creepin aint easy” Ladies are sick. They loved it lol

L: no you did not

M: Promise
L: omg that is crazy!
M: I have some stories for you maam, Too much to type
L: sounds like it
M: I promise i’m for the most part, well behaved.
L: time will tell
M: True
L: what have you been doing all day?

M: Been doing laundry and cleaning the apt, Mopping as we speak

L: damn, so productive!
M: I have two dogs. One that sheds a lot! If i dont sweep and mop every other day it can get nasty.
L: What are their names?

M: Hermes and Weezy F. Baby, My boys lol

L: Cute

M: You have any pets?

L: I had a cat. But I had to say my goodbyes to him this summer

M: That’s rough

L: Yeah he was my buddy

M: They keep me sane

L: aw

M: You’re done with work!

L: I am! Already went to the post office too!

M: So productive

L: Trying

M: What’s the rest of the day got in store for you?

L: I am about to go tanning… And I should know in the next hour if mexican friday is happening

M: Sounds fun. Well enjoy your tan young lady!

L: What are you going to do?
M: Might go to the gym and then catch a late movie

L: If margaritas don’t happen I am looking at movie times

M: Is that an invite?

L: Maybe. But I’m not seeing the hobbit.

M: Lol ok, Im not seeing impossibles
L: Lol
M: Movie 43, mama, gangster squad, or silver linings
L: Well hold your horses!
M: Come make me

L: Salty.

M: Always

L: Sounds like mexican friday is on, and you are more than welcome to join!

M: That’s awesome! Thank you for the invite. I will be sure to let you know if I decide to come out and play.
L: Alright

M: Have fun young lady
L: Ok stop cleaning your house and come on!
M: Im not cleaning house maam. At the gym guuurl!
L: Well geez!
M: Drunk yet?
L: About to start margarita 2

M: Weak!!

L: Why aren’t you here?

M: Just got home from the gym. About to shower now.

L: High maintenance.
M: Hygiene is key buddy

L: I understand …I guess

M: Wouldn’t want to smell bad for you

L: I mean are you putting on makeup?

M: Can’t divulge that info, How late are you going to be there?

L: Umm I’m not sure, why?

M: I’m going to go put a friend on tape (video audition). If you’re still out when I’m done I will swing by

L: What does a video audition entail?

M: I read with the person that is auditioning while putting them on tape at the same time. Then we upload it to our agents ftp site so they can submit it to the casting director. What we do when you can’t be there for a live audition.

L: Oh ok, that’s cool

M: Yes maam, You having fun drinking your margaritas?

L: Of course! Ok well I am home. If you would like to meet in a bit for a beer, I am game. If not, I’m going to bed

M: Going to bed this early?!!

L: Oh, I’m sorry, party animal!

M: Well this dude just decided to do his audition Sunday. I was planning on seeing a movie around 10. Want to meet for a drink somewhere?

L: Yes

M: Cool. Where do you want to meet? Ill be there in 20.

L: Wait, can you just call me?

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Analyze this.

The gist: I met a guy (“M”) at an actor’s showcase two weeks ago. He is hot. Read the Facebook chat we had yesterday and tell me what you think. Ready? GO. 

M: Here is a link to that interview i was talking about. So funny!!

L: That video is genius! I hope I am a better interviewer than that…
M: I dunno…judging by our convo the other night I’m a little worried about your interviewing skills
L: I think you’d be surprised. I am working on the article now about Lauren and the class, you should be nice to me today!
M: I ain’t scurred! I will write my own article about workplace etiquette and how Lucky stole my drink tickets and got white girl schwasted whilst interviewing folks.
She had to use a tape recorder because she knew she wouldn’t remember anything the next day
L: So mean!
M: Lol I kid
L: 😦
M: Don’t be sad
L: I actually ran into Krystal last week and she was like I have no idea what i said to you
M: Sounds about right haha
L: I listened to what I had, didn’t hear anything bad!
M: That’s too bad
L: I would never write anything bad
M: I know, but it sure would have been funny to listen to some embarrassing thing someone told you while they were drunk
L: The worst thing she said, was that she was really wanted some giant pair of scissors from the Breaking Dawn set?? I’ve never seen those, so I’m out of that loop.
M: Neither have I. So how is like ma’am?
L: Yes you have. I know you are Team Edward.
M: Pssshh. Team Jacob if anything.
L: He is hotter.
M: Strictly off the record.
L: Fine.
M: Life is just fine? Nothing new or exciting?
L: Haha, no, I was saying “fine” to your off the record comment
M: Oh lol
L: Life is good. Had some great articles come out this week!
M: I need to check them out. They online by chance?
L: Yeah, one is on my Facebook page. The other one is on the magazine website.
M: Awesome, I’ll be sure to check them both out today.
L: You mean, you’re not busy at Sprint?
M: Lol, I go in at noon… and no, we are not that busy these days. I will have plenty of time to read your articles and Facebook creep on you.
L: Oohhh no, I am going to send an army over there to buy phones. And NOON? Damn, I am jealous.
M: Why are you jealous? You must like sleeping in. Hibernate in that new bed of yours.
L: I stay up late… so when my alarm goes off, I do wish I could sleep later. And yes, that bed is like a cloud.
M: Yeah I know what you mean. I got up early to let the dogs out, cooked breakfast, checked mail, and now I’m just laying in bed until it’s time to go to work.
L: Watching Live with Kelly and Michael?!!
M: No. Reading Harry Potter. Don’t judge me. Never read the books. My 8 year old cousin gave me the first. He said that for every book he finishes, his dad will let him watch its respective movie.
L: I have actually never read the books either, but saw every movie at its midnight opening…
M: I made fun of everyone for reading or watching potter related materials until the final movie came out. The week of the final movie releasing I decided to watch all of the movies so I would be caught up for opening day . Pretty intense experience. What really blew me away as an actor, was the thought of these kids spending the last 10 years of their lives together filming these movies.
L: Yeah! I really enjoyed the movies… even though I will admit sometimes I have difficulty keeping all of the details straight. I don’t like books with lots of characters.
M: Ahhh, aren’t you just adorable
L: AND the death eaters scare me. I jumped every single time.
M: Stick to books like Super Fudge eh?
L: LOL I like memoirs. True stories.
M: I see. One of my favorite series of books to read was Hank the Cowdog. No one has heard of it though.
L: Yeah, I’ve never heard of it. You made it up.
M: No way. I’ll make you up!!
L: I don’t know what that means, but it cannot be good.
M: Its death eater scary
M: Yup.
L: I am the biggest wuss.
M: Tread carefully
L: Everything scares me.
M: Lol lets go see Mama
M: I was planning on seeing a movie tomorrow, since I don’t work
L: You have Fridays off?
M: Sometimes.
L: I want to see The Impossible
M: Which one is that? I still want to see Silver Linings Playbook
L: About the tsunami in Sri Lanka
M: Ahh yeah
L: Yeah, me too! Is it still playing?
M: Yeah, it’s playing. 
L: Sweet, I thought I missed it
M: Nope. They recently released it nationwide. I will probably catch a movie tomorrow in the afternoon/evening…after I get a haircut. 
L: Going to get extensions?
M: Yes, but that’s our secret, K?
L: Maybe.
M: Remember, death eaters if you cross me. 
L: Do you think I plan on crossing you?
M: I dunno. You have a certain look about you. 
L: What does that mean!
M: It means I’m dumb and have a terrible sense of humor. 
L: Ha! I am a good person.
M: Jury is still out on that… but continue. 
L: Fair enough
M: I kid, I kid. From what I have gathered so far, you seem like a pretty nice young lady. Any person would be lucky to have you as a friend. 
L: Aw, thanks!
M: Even if you’re planning on purchasing a wine purse 
L: Haha! I know I am a drinker, but I still behave.
M: Nothing wrong with that, I’m the same way. Don’t tell anyone, but it’s ok to misbehave sometimes. 
L: I saw Lauren last night  and I was like omg, she probably thinks I am crazy
M: At which bar? 
L: I saw her at the gym.
M: Oh haha, my b 
L: See? Mean!
M: Me? Never. I just know how much of a social butterfly you are. Figured you were out and about spreading joy in the world. 
L: It is a rarity for me to drink during the week. I usually go to the gym… or work late.
M: Well kudos to you. Such a young professional. I could learn a thing or two from you. 
L: I think I am just lame.
M: Well miss Lucky…i must be getting in the shower. Need to get ready for work. Long day of slangin cellular devices ahead of me. Don’t be a stranger. Feel free to message me WHENEVER! Oh and fear not. You’re not lame. Just Normal. I prefer staying in during the week too. I enjoyed kicking it at the house during the week with a beer or wine watching me some Sports Center, so I’m just as lame. 
L: Ha, alright. Have a good day!
M: You too, maam. 
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Happy Election Day!

Hey yo, happy Election Day, bitches!

I’ve been up since 5:30, because I wanted to be the first one at the polls. I wasn’t, but I was no. 17, which is pretty good.

Has everyone voted yet? What are you all thinking is going to happen?

Post your thoughts here, I wanna hear it!

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Q & A with Just Married Girl part III.

Welp! Here it is, the FINAL installment of our Q & A with Just Married Girl…

Do you have any dating rules to live by?
Yes. The first thing that comes to mind is that popular Maya Angelou quote “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Don’t waste time with someone who isn’t worth your while or who is mean or hurtful or deceptive. No matter how your heart is breaking, if a person shows him or herself to be too dangerous for your heart, cut and run and don’t look back. You deserve better. Next, don’t count someone out because they’re “too nice,” or “there’s no immediate spark.” You might feel differently after you get to know one another, or maybe s/he knows your husband/wife.

It is okay to say, “Hey, free dinner (or movie),” here and there and accept a date with someone about whom you might not feel crazy. I know that sounds shallow and dishonest, but as I mentioned above, you never know. Sometimes it’s nice not to be lonely, as long as the guy/girl
isn’t an abusive, lying cheat. Then, buy your own dinner.

Finally, it might be old fashioned, but I believe that all correspondence should not take place via text. At some point, you have to have one of those really long phone calls where you share random stories and stay up laughing until 1 or 2 am even though you have to get up early the next morning.

Tell us about your worst breakup and how you got over it. 
The worst break-up was my college boyfriend. I was so in love that I was just blind with it. Looking back, he probably cheated with me on numerous occasions, but I never knew about it and would rather not know about it. I had a crush on him for a very long time, and though he asked me for my phone number at a party one night, he never called me. I put it out of my head and forced myself to forget about him until we ran into each other on campus one day. He ended up calling me that night, and then he invited me on a date. But I didn’t know it was a date. I thought it was just coffee. I pulled my hand away when he tried to hold it because i was so shocked. A week later, he asked me to come to a party at his house, and when I arrived, he stayed by my
side the entire night. It was very sweet, but after several weeks of this, he still wasn’t willing to commit. We hung out nearly every day, but he didn’t want to be my boyfriend. When I met another guy at the bookstore we started talking on the phone, my soon-to-be college boyfriend was so jealous, he scrapped his reluctance and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was elated.

After about eight months of dating, he started to get freaked out about our relationship, but instead of talking to me about it like a normal person, he started a fight with me and refused to talk to me for a full twenty-four hours. I was a wreck. Then, he broke into my house and stole something very serious from me with plans to return it before I awoke. I happened to wake up and absentmindedly look in on this thing, and when I noticed it was gone, I called the police. It
wasn’t until they arrived and I began to look around that I realized who it was that broke into my house. I was devastated and embarrassed and went home to my parents for a couple of weeks. I ended up missing several classes, and I lost a lot of weight. Everything hurt: eating, breathing, thinking. I just cried all the time.

Finally, I got it together and went back to school. All of my teachers (except for my art professor) were understanding, and I was able to make up the work. My ex was seeing another girl already (!), so I just tried to keep going. The problem was that I was behind in photography and needed help. The only person I knew who had taken the class was my ex, and like an idiot, I called him and asked him for help as a friend. He agreed, and we walked all through West Chester, taking pictures and having a great time. That night, he showed up at my house with a ten page letter apologizing for everything and asking to get
back together. He broke up with the other girl and was eager to have me forgive him. Like an idiot who was still very infatuated, I eventually took him back, and we were inseparable until the next fall when he broke up with me again. I dated a great guy in the meanwhile, but my heart still ached, and by spring, we were together yet again.

In another year and a half, we broke up for good.

In between that time, he wasn’t a particularly great boyfriend. He was good at large romantic gestures, but he was an irresponsible human being and he was more interested in having fun with his friends and God knows who else than he was spending time with me. I don’t doubt that we loved one another, perhaps in different ways, but we were woefully incompatible. It took a long time, but after a lot of crying and a lot of denial, I started dating again, and this helped me to get over my sadness. We’ve kept in touch off and on over the years, but when he asked me if I wanted to get together before he moved in with
his now-wife, and when he left me a voicemail the week before his wedding in what I guess was a bout of cold feet, I knew I was so much better off without him.

What’s funny is that I have zero animosity towards him now or any feelings really, despite everything. He has a hyper-normal job in a bank and has a wife and a son, and I can’t help but think of him as an old friend or distant family member. If I ran into him on the street, I’d stop to say hello, but it wouldn’t be awkward or painful or anything. I wish him well, and that’s about it. Maybe it’s because I’m happy where I ended up in life, and I’m sure that Mike is the one for me, and I guess I’ve realized that my experience with my college boyfriend was nothing more than a bump on the way and that my real love story started with Mike.

Now that you’re married, and a mother, what do you think of your single friends?
I guess it would depend on how they feel about their relationship statuses. If I have a friend who is single and loving life, then I’m happy for her because she has an awesome time. In contrast, if I have a single friend who is depressed because she still hasn’t found someone,  then I would feel sad along with her and try to be there for her or commiserate with my own stories of woe. Mostly, I just feel excited for my single friends because there’s so much possibility ahead of them. It’s fun to live vicariously through them and to hear all about their dating lives.

Same goes for my guy friends.

Awww yeah! We hope you enjoyed it!
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Q & A with Just Married Girl part II.

Here it is, part II of our Q & A with Just Married Girl!

When you were our age, and had the same thoughts as us, that you’d never get married, have kids, etc… how did you keep yourself positive and available to new prospects?
I don’t think I was positive about it, and that is something that disappoints me. I was single for a very long time, and then all of a sudden, I was dating Mike, and then I was married, and then I had a baby. I wish I could have realized that it would happen for me eventually so I could have just relished that time in my life a bit more. In your twenties, your skin is great, your hair is shiny, your energy levels are high, you can wear whatever you like, you can stay out all night and still make it to work unscathed, you have the whole world ahead of you; you might as well take advantage of it while you’re looking great and are free to do whatever you’d like.
What are you going to tell Jude about dating and women when he gets older and enters into the dating world?
I have thought about this a lot, and I think I’ll need more time to come up with a real answer. Above all things, I want him to be happy. But, I would hope that he doesn’t get too serious too young. I want him to have experiences. I want him to see the world and to be educated and  comfortable with who he is and what he might like in this world before linking up with someone else. But, I also don’t want him to be a commitment-phobe. I guess one of the biggest things I’d
try to impress upon him is that he should treat all people with respect. There’s this lyric in an Editor’s song that says, “People are fragile things…Be careful what you put them through,” and I think that’s good life advice. It’s important to be genuine and to do the things you say you’re going to do, but to also be empathetic and compassionate. I want him to protect his heart but not in a way that inflicts undue pain and suffering on others.
What are some things you miss about being single?
I miss the freedom to do whatever I liked whenever I wanted to do it. Mike never holds me back, but now that I’m a mom, I do miss having an open schedule, even if it means just coordinating a hair appointment or lunch/dinner with friends. I also miss not having to worry about dinner or laundry or a strict cleaning schedule. Dirty clothes on the floor? Crumbs all over the counter? Finding clutter and paperwork all over the place? These things are more annoying than terrible, but I certainly didn’t have to contend with another person’s mess during my single days. That was nice.
What are some deal breakers you had when you were dating?
Lying, cheating, drug/alcohol addiction, misogyny, snobbery, egotism: these are just some of my major deal breakers. I can’t stand someone who is mean spirited or egomaniacal about as much as I loathe someone who is a liar or a cheat. You can help a bad dresser, but you’ll never change someone who is lacking in a moral compass. Also, if they hate animals or are cruel to them in any way, that’s a problem.
Does Mike fit the profile of the person you thought you’d end up with? Explain why or why not. 
Yes. Now that we’re married, I am even more sure of this. He is has many differences from many of the guys I dated when I was single, but that is probably what makes it work. He is so supportive of me, and he encourages me to do and be what I love. He understands me, and he doesn’t mind my brand of crazy, which is crucial in a significant other. Finally, he’s the best dad and loves spending time with and caring for Jude.
Come back tomorrow for the final questions!
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Q & A with Just Married Girl part I.

Gizzy & I are pretty freaking pumped to share a three-part series with you, the Q & A with Just Married Girl!

If you haven’t met Gina, she is pretty much our go-to gal for life advice, and she’s awesome. She’s like us, only better, and married, with a cute baby boy. So we racked her brain for answers to our most passionate, burning questions and she came through with some helpful answers. Check out her blog here, and get comfortable for a good interview!

How did you know Mike was “The One?”

This is going to sound silly, but I knew from the moment we met that there was something special and different about Mike. We’d only been dating a week when I told my aesthetician that he was “the one.” Then a few months later, even though things were going along just fine, I began to panic. All of my other relationships were failures, so why would this one work?

Mike and I are compatible on a lot of levels. Sure, we love seeing movies and we love to travel, but we have more in common than just our interests. The way we see the world–the way we feel about life, love, family, politics, religion–these things are all in sync. Not only do our temperaments work well together, but we have similar energy levels, too. When I feel like sitting on the couch and being lazy, chances are, he would like to do the same. If he suggests a trip into
the city for dinner or to see a show, I think it’s a great idea. Though I believe that each half of a couple should have his or her own thing, in my experience, it’s a high priority to be more alike than different when it comes to relationships.

Lastly, there was nothing “wrong” between us. Sure, I was a commitment-phobe who spent unnecessary time worrying that it would all fall apart, but once I calmed down and learned to have fun and stop obsessing, I was ready to see that there were no major warnings or problems in our relationship. In fact, it was rather easy. Mike is kind, good-natured, generous, funny, smart and he’s interested in the world around him. He is loving and supportive, and we have the best time together. Plus, he’s a super dad. There really is no other person for me, and I’m glad I finally realized it!

You’ve told us before that you dated some “wrong” guys in your 20s, how did you make the transition from the wrong to the right type of guys, and how did you know they were the right type of guys?

I’d say spotty self-esteem and a serious case of denial were the two biggest culprits in my unsuccessful relationships. I was behaving as though I didn’t deserve better, and this lead to occasions where I spent way too long with someone who was all wrong for me. I’m not even sure I was conscious of what I was doing or feeling at the time, but I know that I should have parted ways with several guys after one or two dates instead of letting it drag on for weeks, months, or (painfully) years.

Also, I would ignore warning signs that could have saved me a lot of time and energy. In some cases, my instincts were telling me to
move on five minutes through the first conversation. Other times, red flags arose later. In both cases, I decided to ignore what I knew to be true and tried to make things work (in my mind) because I was infatuated with the idea of being in a relationship. Maybe the guy was cute and I was disappointed that he was such a colossal jerk, or maybe, I just wanted someone to go to the movies with, but in every case, I should have moved on as soon as I realized that there was some kind of deal breaker in the way (i.e. “I still live with my ex-girlfriend, but we’re just friends.” Um, no. Next!)

The right guys were genuine, kind-hearted, considerate and easy to be with. This is what most girls refer to as “the nice guy.”  A first instinct would be to deny any kind of feeling for this guy because he’s just too sweet (read: dull). Instead of dismissing the nice guy, give him a real once over. Don’t confuse lack of drama with lack of a spark. It might take a few dates/long phone conversations, but often, the good guy you should have dated for years is the one that you
thought was “just a friend”. You won’t realize this until much, much later, of course.

When you were a little girl, what did you think your life would be like in your mid-twenties and in your thirties?

When I was a little girl, I thought I would be a famous actress/writer in my thirties. I thought I’d be a multi-talented celebrity with excellent clothes and at least one Academy Award. I must have practiced that speech a million times.

I must have thought I would be married with kids, but this was more because every adult seemed to be have these things. In fact, I didn’t realize it was something to worry about. I just thought that everyone got older and got married, just as easily as a they might go out to buy a gallon of milk. It wasn’t a concern of my mid to late twenties, really.

If you could’ve done one thing differently while you were dating, what would it be?

In my dating life, I wish I (a) paid attention to warning signs and ended relationships that I knew in my heart would never work and (b) didn’t waste time worrying about not being married. I love being married, but since Mike and I got hitched a couple of years ago, life has handed us some difficulties. In our first year of marriage, I lost a pregnancy, Mike’s mom was diagnosed with cancer and passed away, and we lost the sale of our condo on the day of closing, thereby taking on two mortgages and losing a considerable amount of money once we found another buyer five months later. Sure we got through these things
together, but I have since learned that the challenges and low points in life don’t disappear just because I walked down the aisle. This is something about which I was naive in my dating life. I thought that the end of sadness/loneliness was over once that ring was slipped on my finger, but instead, I’ve added a new layer to my life, some of it wonderful (read: Jude) and some of it, not so much (see above).

If I could go back and shake some sense into my younger, single self, I’d tell her to stop worrying and to enjoy herself. That girl got two graduate degrees, traveled, and bought her own house. She was cool and happy, and she didn’t even know it.

Come back tomorrow for Part II! And don’t forget to join me, Luckster, TONIGHT as I bash The Bachelor via Twitter! So follow us, @cocktailsattiff and use #thebachelor to follow along in the fun!

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