Tag Archives: acting

10 things you should know about Reginald VelJohnson

1. Per the below photo taken from his twitter, I don’t think he enjoys wearing pants.  See: pants in the background on the ottoman with the belt still in tact.

We can also conclude #2 from this photo, in that he enjoys wearing snuggies while not wearing pants.  That royal blue fleece material you see in the background is particular of said snuggies.

Number 3 comes to us from Reg Vel’s bedroom.

 Reg Vel told us on twitter that his bedspread caught on fire because he had his laptop on top of a lighter.  So, either A: Reginald VelJohnson likes to enjoy a smokey smoke after sexytime with Mrs. Reg Vel… or B: he was getting high and looking at this picture of Lil Wayne with the Bieb’s hair that “tickles” him.

4. Reg Vel’s twitter puns are getting better by the day:

seriously tho, I can’t wait to eat this sushi #shrimplythebest #calimarimoon #crabtownraces #koimeariver #likeasturgeoun #embarrassingmyself

If Osama bin Laden was a Japanese food, he’d be Osama bin Ramen

5. Rev Vel attends the BET awards every year.  I know what you’re thinking.  He claims it just smells like weed and hairspray though.

6. Rev Vel truly enjoys thinking outside of the box.  He did so with the hit movie “Mean Girls” where he claims if you watch it backward it’s just about a girl that becomes so unpopular she moves to Africa.

7. In his old age Reg Vel thinks that Tim Tebow’s name is actually JIM Tebow. Lolz.

8. Jaleel White (Steve Urkle) and Reg Vel still keep in touch.  Sometimes The Reg tweets to Jaleel White, but JW seems to be on some other shit.  You’re better off Reg.

9. Some Reg Vel fan sites claim that donuts got their holes because every time a donut is made Reg Vel shoots the hole through the middle.  They also claim that The Reg doesn’t walk, he rides Chuck Norris piggy back regulating Chuck’s direction and pace with Urkle’s suspenders. Bad. Ass.

10. In 2010 Reg Vel made a movie called Sex Tax.  You be the judge.

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Things I’m Thankful for on Our 2nd to Last Thanksgiving

With Thanksgiving just a week away most people are planning what dishes they are going to prepare for dinner next Thursday, planning where they’ll be spending this joyous holiday, who they’ll be spending it with, and maybe even what they’ll wear that will allow for an extra spoonful of stuffing, or 6.  

In years past, the week before Thanksgiving Lucky and I would’ve been on the phone together into the wee hours of the night complaining about how much it’s going to suck to be single for yet another coupley holiday.  This year is different though.  For once, we’re both content with being single and could care less if we were in a relationship or had a significant other to be thankful for.  Honestly, I’m thankful for myself.  That’s right, I’m thankful that I have the motivation to drag my pathetic single self (not my words, but the words of those around me who assume I am a cutter because I’m single) out of bed every morning to go to work.  

Which brings me to the next thing I’m thankful for:  Myself again.  I’m thankful that I have the willpower not to bitch slap my boss across the face every time she tells me to do something I’ve already done, so that I can keep my job and continue to bring home my poverty level salary.  I’m also thankful that my office decided to close at noon the day before Thanksgiving, also known as the first day I have taken off in a year.  Oh, I’m getting my half day back, I’m get.ting. it!

I’m thankful that someone important at work vetoed the idea of making a Thanksgiving tree that we cut out outlines of our hands and write 5 things we are thankful for on the fingers.  No I am not joking.  And no I do not work with children.

I’m thankful that I have the decency not to murder (whoopsie, forgot this is a family holiday) tie Anth to his bed in his sleep for not understanding that I bring home a poverty level salary and can’t afford things like maids, food, or underwear.  I’m thankful that after having the decency not to murder tie Anth to his bed in his sleep because he assumes I make more money than I actually do, I also have the common sense not to murder  tie him to his bed in his sleep for leaving crumbs on the kitchen counter and a sink full of dishes right before he leaves for a week and  a half.  

I’m thankful that there are enough crazies out there that think the world is actually going to end next December that I can be sarcastic with what I’m thankful for this year and save the real stuff for next year right before we’re all blown to smithereens.  I’m also thankful that those crazies inspired the movie 2012 because it’s really good, and I like it a lot.

I’m thankful that Zac Hanson kind of still has long hair 

And he still looks really good, and he’s wholesome.  Which means that at 12 years old I had better taste in men then I do now.

I’m thankful that I used protection the last time I had sex because having to feed a 10 month old baby before I could feed myself next week would really put a damper on my holiday spirit.

I’m thankful that solo cups aren’t see thru so that I can still get sloshed at Thanksgiving and no one will know since Grandma forbids drinking alcohol.

I’m thankful that there was an episode of Jeopardy last week that had a lot of fashion questions and now my roommates and their friends think that I’m really smart because I got them all right.

I’m thankful for my whirlpool bathtub, even though it takes 45 minutes to fill up and by the time it does I’m kind of over it, but those 2 minutes I actually sit in it are heaven.

I’m thankful for my vision so that I can look at hot guys like Alexander Skarsgard. I’m also thankful for Stelan Skarsgard for creating Alexander Skarsgard.

I’m thankful for these thingys that keep me from putting holes in my walls

I’m also thankful that they’re kind of fun to play with

I’m thankful for Forever 21 for having reasonably priced clothing, although their return policy blows donkey.  On the flip-side, I am not thankful for Bally’s Total Fitness/Bally’s Sports clubs for having 2 separate types of gyms and for not telling members that if you join total fitness you can’t go to the sports clubs locations even though you only want to use the treadmill and the location of the sports club is more convenient for you.

I’m thankful for my future puppy, Marshmallow Fluffy Butt, for being so cute

And um, I’m thankful for my family when they aren’t razzing me about not being married, my friends when they aren’t razzing me about not being married, our readers (always), and, uh, my health.  Lets eat bitchesssss.

 

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Ok Neal, I forgive you!

Monday night Lucky and I were BBMing whilst watching Most Eligible Dallas, a guilty pleasure for us both.  We were freaking out over Courtney and Matt’s so hot hot tub kiss and moments later getting pissed at Courtney ruining it by opening up her big ugly mouth.   Which got us on the topic of hot kisses and hot guys which ultimately lead to us talking about my one true love, Neal Bledsoe, and how my facebook friend request is still pending nearly 1 year (10 months, to the day) later.  

Lucky tried making me feel better by insisting he was in a part of the world where he didn’t have internet access or that he’s been busy working.  But we all know that’ s a lie, his profile picture is different.

Part of my New Year’s resolution is going to be to let the past be the past and not hold grudges, to some extent, Douchearoo and Snoop-Linus?  Grudge.  The girl in my sorority who told on me for having hot Australians back to the sorority house one night, which ultimately got me “sober ride” duty for 3 weekends?  Forgiven.  

So I figured why not try this new and improved Gizzy out with Neal?  It can only help.  So, Neal Bledsoe… I know you google yourself and you will read this, this is Gizzy speaking, I forgive you for not accepting my friend request, even though it’s probably the biggest mistake you’ve ever made… cauuuse I think you’d like my goods.  Just saying.  Your loss, you’ll regret this, but I forgive you.

Don’t worry though, I’m not going to cancel my friend request just in case one day he decides to accept me, and propose to me, and have some sex with me, or eat some chicken, whatever, I’ll be there.

Wow, I sound like a stalker. 

Anyway…

Wouldn’t it be funny if I actually did meet Neal Bledsoe one day and we like, fell in love and I was like omg guess what I used to hate on you so bad on my blog and always talked about how you were such a jerk for not accepting my facebook friend request yet so so hot at the same time?  And he’d be like, YES Gizzy… that is soooo funny, aren’t you glad you were wrong and I’m like the nicest guy ever?  And I’d be like yeah and then we’d make out.

So if you ever come here and one day Cocktails At Tiffany’s is just gone out of thin air, it’s because I met Neal Bledsoe and he CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS.  And you and I, we can’t be blog friends anymore.

So my boss is on vacation for the next week and I am soOoOoOoOoO excited!  I was telling Lucky that I feel like a teenager whose parents finally decided it was ok to leave me at home alone for the weekend.  Like I was acting like a child.  I ate so much candy that I gave myself a stomach ache, talked to my friends all day, and googled things I shouldn’t have been while at work, I even left early yesterday and gave the office a big su-fi as I walked on the elevator.  I mean my boss like NEVER takes vacation and it’s the most annoying thing ever.  Like I always feel like when she is there I have to be working hard in case she walks around the corner, I don’t want her seeing me on facebook, playing games, or looking up flights to go visit Lucky.  Not only is she giving herself a vacation for the next week, she’s giving me a vacation too! WAHOO!!!!

Back track!  I just spent more time then I care to admit googling Neal Bledsoe to find out if he is single and if I should seriously be on the prowl, and he’s not.  He has a girlfriend… for like years.  And she’s like 9 feet tall, blonde, and gorgeous.  CHRIST! Just when you think things are starting to turn around.   I’m done.  I’m just done.  I’m going to stop wasting my time on all these hot men and just start reading the encyclopedia.   Reading the encyclopedia = FAIL.

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I told ya, baby… I’m a rockstar

Well, the big photo shoot was on Saturday.  It actually went really well for the most part.  I did all my prep before hand – tan, teeth whitening, mani/pedi, facemask… you get it.  Which was probably too much prep because it didn’t seem like any of the other girls did things like that, but it’s whatever.  I think it was good regardless for me to put some time and money into myself, because it made me feel better.

So I show up at the studio and as I’m walking around to the front of the building I see a photographer in the ally taking pictures of a girl sitting on a dumpster.  Oh, so that’s how this is going to be? I walked up and met the casting agent who cast me for the gig and about that time another girl walked up so we went in to get our hair/makeup done and met the rest of the girls.

Let me elaborate on who I was working with here… There was the heavy set improv actress/comedian, the quiet shy stood in the corner and didn’t say 5 words asian girl, the bubbly fun ditzy blonde, the older wise mom type who only spoke when she had something deep and heartfelt to say, the crazy haired urban token wild black girl, the sweet as pie blonde, the gorgeous REAL actress who is on tv, and me, whatever I am, “the new comer”.  

I walked in with an attitude of, “Okay, I can do this.  I’m stepping out of my comfort zone.  I don’t know ANYONE and instead of being recluse and shy I’m going to break out and make some new friends.”

So as soon as I walked in the door I told everyone how me and “sweet as pie blonde” accidently went into the wrong door and nearly got attacked by a giant vicious dog.  Everyone looked at me, didn’t say a word, and then went back to what they were doing.  Oooook, then.

As more people showed up the mood lightened, but sweet as pie and I clung to each other for the first half hour sharing our stories of how we came across the agency and what we wanted to gain from it.  She had been married for 8 years, was in her early 30’s and needed a hobby to get away from her husband and 3 kids every now and then.  The other thing I learned was that I was the only person in the group who is single.  As per usual.

Eventually, I got my hair done and it looked AWESOME.  It was like wavy/curly and beautiful. The make up? Not so much.  I didn’t have a chance to look at it before I had to go get my first round of pictures so I honestly had no idea how it looked, I just knew that the makeup artist layer caked it on.  The thing is, I’ve had my makeup professionally done a good amount of times and not once has anyone been able to do it where I thought it looked good, so I don’t know why I expected this time to be different.  I don’t know if it’s because I typically don’t wear much makeup or what, but because of my dark hair and eyes everyone takes it upon themselves to put the darkest colors ever on my face and those colors just flat out don’t look good on me.

So I went down to the ally to get my first round of photos taken.  When I went to change into the second outfit and looked in the mirror I nearly pooped myself.  The make up was AWFUL.  I was expecting the dark smokey eyes, which don’t look that good on me to begin with, but I knew she was going to do it.  She also put brown lipstick on me.  I just don’t know what would possess someone to do that?  Brown lipstick doesn’t look good on anyone.

Lucky said it best, “They put brown lipstick in samples because no one buys that shit” EXACTLY!

Honestly it looked like I had been down in the alley munching on a big turd.  Really.  So I wiped it off for the second round of pictures and put my pink lipgloss on, which looked better but brown lipstick is hard to get off, so I had turd colored residue on my lips for the rest of the shoot.  I am just still appalled at the lip color choice.  Ick!

Lucky suggested that maybe she was trying to make me look older, which is a good guess because I was the youngest one there, but I just don’t know.  Gross.

Anyway, once I felt like I looked like a human we went on to the beach to do the group shots.  It was pretty chilly and windy, but I think the beach pics will be good regardless.  They did have us rolling around in the sand, and I’m pretty sure there was a funeral going on about 50 feet away, but whatta ya do?

All in all it was a really good experience and I’m glad I did it.  The girl who does the casting was full of good info.  She’s one of those people that speaks what’s on her mind and 99% of the time it’s something hilarious.  She’s worked a lot in Hollywood and has been in a lot of movies and was telling us that she can walk into a room and tell everyone who they’d play in a movie.  I was the love interest/girl next door/secret geeky star wars fan , the wise mom was the smart always wins lawyer, the impromptu actress was the witty barista, the quiet asian was the secret serial killer, sweet as pie was the over emotional too involved mother… and she gave us all a part to play in our shoot too and even offered to let us use her name in the biz, because “she knows everyone”.

What really got me going was while we had a little bit of down time the actual tv actress was yammering on about all of the gossip with the other actors and actresses on the show that she’s on, which I thought was HIGH-larious.  If it were me, I probably wouldn’t have been saying that stuff in a room full of strangers, but being on the receiving end it was pretty exciting.  That is until she whipped around and asked me, “So what do you do? Are you an actress?” To which I had to hide my face and shame at all the other people who actually are actresses and make a living doing it and say, “No, I’m an accountant…”

All in all, it was a good time, I met some nice people, and got my foot in the door doing something that’s 1 million times better than sitting behind a desk with a calculator all day.  SUCCESS!

 

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News! News! I have big news!

Ok so my news isn’t that big.  Ok it is, to me.  Remember a few weeks ago when I was bitching and moaning about my boring going no where accounting job and how I wanted to do something cool in the entertainment industry so I registered with a bunch of casting company’s?! WELL!!! After expressing interest in a few different commercials/movies and hearing nothing in return, I finally got cast in something!

That’s the exciting part, the not so exciting part (for Just Married Girl at least, & OMG there’s an episode of Friends on right now about Sweater Vests – it IS a sign) is that I don’t know if I’ll be able to do the Sweater Vest hang out tonight.  I’m getting ahead of myself… 

So I’m sitting at work screening calls from one of the surgeon’s I work for because someone (not me) may have lost $80,000 of her “spending” money by being a ‘tard.  Not lost as in dropped it on the street, lost it as in gave it to another institution by accident and now they’re saying they’re not giving it back (or that “it would be virtually impossible to give the money back”) so anyway, she’s all up my ass trying to get me to help her fix it because the team she assembled to do these things for her are idiots (obvi) so I contacted everyone I could 10 times told them the situation and was sitting pretty waiting for a response telling me it had been magically fixed while she called me every 5 minutes to see if there was an update when my cell phone started blowing up… it was an email from a casting agency!

The email basically said I had been cast as a model for a photo shoot on Saturday.  We’d be modeling local designers dresses pretending we’re at a party and the photos will be used as promotions for the designers and the studio.  They dress us, do our hair and makeup, and we get copies of the pictures and a some monaayy to go along with it.  I’m not going to quit my day job over it, but I’m pretty freaking excited!!!

When I told Anth about it he made fun of me, go figure.  Saying if I see any Victoria’s Secret models to give them his number.  HA! Then asked if he could come, then I told him about how the Brit wouldn’t stop texting me and his response was, “Is it because you told him you’re a model now?”  But, just for ANTH’s information… at this time last year my only job was modeling and it (barely) paid the bills, so Victoria’s Secret model that!  He’s obviously upset because I’m not coming to watch his marathon Saturday morning.  Whatever.

So anyway, my call time isn’t until Saturday at 2pm but I feel like I have to do a lot before I go.  Like I feel like I need to go get a spray tan so I don’t look dead, and work out for 5 hours before I go to the shoot so I look skinny.   And get a mani/pedi in case my hands or feet are in the shot.  What I wouldn’t give to be 22 again…. back then I always felt good about how I looked and I would’ve rolled out of bed after a night of partying and showed up at the shoot.  Now?  I’m canceling all my plans for the 4 days surrounding the shoot so I can make sure everything is perfect.  I don’t know, I guess my livelihood is at stake so I’m freaking out about it.  But, I haven’t told Dina that I won’t be able to make it out yet tonight because I’m hoping they’ll switch it to Saturday night and I can go out all glammed up from the photo shoot and find a husband/rekindle my half romance with Sweater Vest.  We’ll see how it goes…

Just to give everyone a Lucky update: She said the smudging went well and her fat cat loves the new apartment!  I hope it’s making all her dreams come true!

Ok… where’s cynical Gizzy? 1 good thing happened and all my cynical world hating aspirations went out the door.

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Extra Extra Read All About It: Gizzy’s going to be famous!!

Well my weekend was a bust, I did nothing, and to overcompensate for doing absolutely nothing I worked out too much and pulled all of the muscles between my belly button and my vagina.  Literally, I thought I was passing kidney stones when the soreness started to set in.  Because that’s what happens when you pull muscles on the top part of your vagina that you didn’t know existed, it feels like you’re going to pee out rocks.  Not just any rocks, those big gray driveway rocks.  Bastards!

I sat on the toilet for most of my Saturday evening, waiting to give birth to driveway rocks while simultaneously googling other diseases that would make everything from my belly button to my vagina hurt.  They pretty much all said the same thing, either I was dying or I pulled some muscles.  

So I tried P90X this weekend….it’s just good that I’m not sexually active because even still today I am walking funny.  People at work probably think I took it up the butt this weekend or something. 

Also while I was laid up in bed I checked my new favorite website that tells me when and where tv shows and movies will be filming in my city.  Pretty sa-weet, right?  While on the website I noticed a casting call section so I clicked on it and there was a casting call listed from a week prior for a new tv show set to premiere this fall.  The open call was for extras in some bar scenes.  AND they were going to pay the extras.  UM, sign me up! 

Too bad it was a week ago and I missed it.  But, I am going to start checking this website every day because I’m sure there will be more.  And damnit, I’m going to be an extra in a tv show!

We all know I’m a big fame whore that thinks Lucky and I are destined to marry celebrities and that’s why we don’t fit in with anyone.  Well! I’m not going to meet celebrities sitting on my caboose not being an extra in a new tv show.  So why not try, right?  Plus I am still on my trying to meet people without alcohol being involved kick, and so far that has yielded no new friends.  So… gotta try new things!  Plus most actors are hot so… I don’t really see a down side in this.

Don’t get me wrong here, the only acting experience I have is when I was Oklahoma (the state, not the musical) in my 6th grade play and all I did was hold up a sign that said “OK” and screamed out OKLAHOMA!!! So the chances of me actually getting picked to be a paid extra are slim to none, but I have high hopes for myself. 

The closest I ever came to making it in show biz was when my mom and my aunt took me to the Price is Right for my 23rd birthday.  They built it up so much in my head being all, “You’re young and cute, they’re going to eat you up… you’re for sure getting called to contestants row!”  I even made a shirt that said, “The Future Mrs. Drew Carey” and wore my glasses that are similar to his.  I thought I was golden.

We went through the interviews told the producers it was my birthday and that we had been up since like 2AM (it was about 1pm when we did our interview) and they still didn’t pick me.  After sleeping on the street in downtown Los Angeles to get seats RIGHT BEHIND contestants row… ON MY BIRTHDAY… they still didn’t pick me.  What. The. Fuck. 

So anyway, my claim to fame is the hour I was on national television sitting behind contestants row on the Price is Right.  I mean, we were on tv the whole time so what more can I ask for? Oh, to be an extra in a TV show? YEP! Doing it.

On another note, I hope all of our East Coast blog buddies survived hurricane Irene this weekend!! Just Married Girl, Simply Solo, Thoughts Appear, Shy Guy, and anyone else I missed…I hope you’re all alive!!

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