Tag Archives: asshole

Pass the drugs

 Remember how I mentioned that there was more to the High School Ex-Crush story? After much deliberation and sorting through everything that has happened these last few months (nothing has happened).  I decided to share the latest on that saga. 

Last time I brought up HSC I told you all about how he had this new girlfriend, out of the blue, and had pretty much thrown me to the dogs with no explanation, no warning, and no “hey it’s been fun, but I’m done” type of text.  To say the least, I was confused – for a while.  After more things started to surface about this relationship it became pretty apparent that he hadn’t just met a girl he liked better than me, he had met a girl he liked better than me and ASKED HER TO MOVE IN WITH HIM!  All within about 2 weeks time. 
Like one day it was literally HSC telling me about how he had just closed on his condo and how he wanted me to come there to check it out and help him build his Ikea furniture.  The next day all communication stopped and a few weeks later signs via twitter and facebook started to appear that this girl was living with him.  Weird. So weird.  I may never really find out what actually transpired there, but whatever. Fuck him.
I think I was upset about it for about a month and then I was over it. Of course now I’m happy things played out the way they did, if it had dragged on a few more months I probably would’ve invited him out when we went to his and NB’s city and ended up going home with him instead of NB. Wow! Whore much? So I can’t really complain.  He can take his gummy girlfriend and like it.
On another note, I’m literally the sickest I have ever been and PMSing at the same time.  Watch out world. But because I’m saving up all my paid time off to take a whole week of vacation around Christmas, I’ve been working while sick and PMSing.  Basically, I hate everyone in my office and want to stab every last one of them in the face with pencils.  And the girl that I share an office with? I’m so freaking annoyed with her that I want to take the papers she shuffles around all day and shove them down her damn doubled chinned throat.  Pretty much I’ll be sitting at my desk working and snot will be dripping out of my nose onto the papers. It’s gross and I don’t even care. 
At this point, 3 days in, people have figured out to leave me alone before I rip their faces off.  Especially NB, I mentioned ODing on nyquil the other night and he said he didn’t think that was necessary.  Which pretty much started the first fight of our relationship/World War III, because IT ABSOLUTELY IS NECESSARY! GOD! I’m like, “HEY LISTEN HERE BUD! Handfuls of midol with nyquil chasers are the only thing keeping me from going out and punching babies in the face.  Mmkay!?”  Because I’m just… that pissed off that other people exist right now.  I am literally such. a. brat.
Now I’m going to go clean my apartment and snot on some barbies at the slumber party this weekend.  Good-day friends.
P.s. To make matters worse, Neal Bledsoe STILL 2 YEARS LATER has not accepted my friend request. I. AM. DONE.
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3 strikes and you’re out… forever

And a happy Saturday to YOU! I would imagine you are all wondering what could possibly warrant a special Saturday post… Well, basically it’s 12:30 in the morning, I’m having a breakdown, and I have no one to talk to.  So wah-lah! That’s where you all come in.

So on Tuesday I informed you all about the latest with High School Crush, how he suddenly stopped talking to me and was being distant when I would initiate a conversation and I couldn’t quite figure out why.  Well, tonight I got my answer.

Before I get into the good stuff, let me back up a little bit.  When this all started to go down the only people I talked to about it were Lucky and Betty.  The only reason I talked to Betty about it was because I thought she might of had something to do with it.  But Lucky got all the deets I had on the situation.  She kept telling me that she thought I was taking it really well, and honestly I thought I was too.  I was surprised I wasn’t more upset, but I think that was mostly because I didn’t know what I should be upset about.

Que me sitting here ugly girl crying.

So, what happened, you ask, why did High School Crush stop talking to me? Let me just say, thank God for social media and all the secrets it holds.  Anyway, HSC and I follow each other on twitter and he doesn’t really tweet that much so I don’t really look at his twitter page that often.  Well, when things went down the shitter I started stalking that shit out looking for clues as to what happened.. Ie: He died, lost his phone, was in a coma, etc..etc.. within a day or two of when things first got weird I noticed this girl that he started to follow and that also followed him.  The first few days I didn’t think much of it because I could tell from some tweets she had sent that she worked with his then roommate.  So no big deal, right? The more time that passed and when things still didn’t get better I started to get even more weary of this girl.  I don’t know why, but I just had an instinct that something was going on with her. So then, in true stalker fashion, I started to look at this girl’s twitter pretty regularly.  

Tonight I decided to do some extra creeping, so I looked at her following and followers list and I see that she followed HSC’s Dad  and HSC’s sister followed her. If that’s not a sign that this chick is his girlfriend, I don’t know what is… and recently she’s been tweeting things about how happy she is, she went out of town and said she couldn’t wait to get back to what was waiting for her at home.  Yeah, so now I am upset about it.  This is kind of what I suspected all along, but to be honest HSC doesn’t really have that much game and I didn’t think he was an asshole that would do shit like that. But he is. They all are.

So here we are, the 3rd time I’ve gotten looked over by this guy.  Maybe I’m not aggressive enough with it, or maybe he just really doesn’t like me.  Whatever the reason, I need to cut all ties because I know I don’t deserve this. 

I could badmouth the girl and I could go into defense mode and play dumb and ask HSC why we haven’t been talking to try and force him to admit it to me, but that won’t change anything, and it definitely won’t make HSC have enough respect for me to tell me what happened himself. My guess is that he feels guilty, as he should, and that’s why he cut off all communication. So as hard as it will be to move on from a 13 year long crush, I have to force myself to get over him. Forever.

This post is so melodramatic. Ugh.

Anyone up for a Saturday night bonfire to burn some old pictures? I’ve never done that before, but if I’m ever going to try it this seems like the perfect opportunity.

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Gizzard the lush

First things first, I’m going to post 2 emails for DOUCHE DAY this week since I didn’t get to post the counter fellacio story last week.  I assume the demon jack off poonanis quit paying his comcast bill and they shut him down, because I quit getting free internet last week.  Sucks. Sucks real bad.

On to bigger and better things, my Friday night turned into a drunken circus.  Literally, I was swinging from trees like a monkey.  My friend GiGi and I went out to get a pitcher and a pie at 6:30 and I was at home face first on the floor drooling on myself by 11. The pitcher turned into pitcher(s) which turned into vodka tonics and then shots of tequila.  Needless to say HOTTIE MCHOTTERSON got a phone call and it could’ve gone better, the time was 10:13 and the call lasted 38 seconds:


HOTTIE: Hello?

Me: scHiiii, whats you doing?

HOTTIE: Sitting on the balcony, are you drunk? It’s 10 o’clock.

Me: NO.. I.. *pause for 4 seconds*

HOTTIE: Gizzy, are you there?

Me: Yeah what are you doing?



Me: HOTTIEEEEEE MCHOTTERSONNNNNNN (I was acutally calling him HOTTIE MCHOTTERSON, not his real name.)

Me: I..I Gigi is coming

Hottie: Why don’t you just call me back when you get home?

Me: Okbye.

Well, I didn’t call him when I got home.  I can’t remember if it was because I knew he was never going to speak to me again or if I was just too drunk to function.  I thought I outgrew drunk dialing when I outgrew the frats.

Well HOTTIE called me bright and early.  I was supposed to do a captain mo gig up by his house so he wanted to do something when I got off, even after I put myself to shame.

Fast forward to Saturday night, I get off work and parked to the left of the tennis court at his $3.5 million dollar house. Wow.  I mean I’ve seen some big houses but this was unbelievable.  I had already told him I couldn’t meet his parents dressed as a pirate hooker so I needed some assurance that he was going to be the only one home.  They could’ve been home and we never would’ve seen them, he stays in the guest house when he’s home and if it weren’t for the neighbors calling about my hoopty sitting out back claiming there was a robber in the neighborhood they would’ve never known I was even there.

I changed into presentable looking clothing and we were on our way.  We pulled up to a restaurant on the beach of a lake and sat on the patio area that was over the lake for the sunset while we waited for our table, which was by the window facing the lake.  All joking aside this was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, if my camera wasn’t stuck to the bottom of my purse in milk duds I would’ve taken my own pictures.

They had mostly seafood and steak.  I had a bloody steak like a lady, and he had lobster.  Post dinner we walked out on this little pier thingy you see and got on board a boat that drove us all over the lake and then stopped dead center for the fireworks show.  I doubt he planned that but if he did he deserves some kind of medal.  After boozing it up all night I had to stay at his house (oh what a shame.)  Surprisingly, he didn’t pull any hanky panky and kept it PG-13.

Sunday morning we got up and he made us french toast, eggs, and bacon then we hopped in the car and went to the city to go to the real beach.  Basically it was the perfect date considering the ass I made out of myself the night before and the fact that I called him not 2 hours ago asking if he could stop by to unzip my dress, it was tots stuck.

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