Today, in an attempt to not bore everyone with a story you probably don’t care about, I’m leaving you with this picture of a wakeboarding monkey…also, my office smells like a straight up toilet and it’s really cramping my writing style.
This week has been a real whirlwind for me, first because of all the unexpected contact with guys from my past over the weekend. Then, as soon as I got to work yesterday I had a missed voicemail from my stepmom, saying my dad was in the hospital. She didn’t leave much detail, only saying that he was bitten by a snake twice, he was ok, but would be in the hospital over night.
So I started to freak out and basically got nothing done at work yesterday. It took me forever to get ahold of them and when I finally did they were just kind of ho hum about it. Apparently my dad was with my grandpa at his country cabin and my dad was mulling around in a wood pile and when he pulled his hand out and it was gushing blood, swollen, and had 4 fang marks where the blood was coming from. My grandpa had some kind of venom extraction do-hickey at his cabin so they tried that, but it didn’t work so they took my dad to the hospital where his motor skills were becoming slow and he was having trouble breathing… the works.
He didn’t see what kind of snake bit him, but they could tell from the side effects that it was venomous. He is ok, he gets to go home in the late morning and I still hate snakes. I mean really… could anything else bad happen with snakes? Oh right, I forgot to mention that over the weekend when Betty was visiting she wanted to make sure the snake was in the cage and we discovered that in fact it is not and Doogie has yet to inform anyone, but took the liberty of shutting off the heat lamp to save some energy and a few bucks.
So I told Anth that because of what happened to my dad it’s totally justifiable that I murder Doogie’s snake if it’s ever found…. and he told me that I need to reevaluate what is a big deal and what isn’t. I mean…. my dad being in the hospital is a big deal, fucking asshole. He claimed that me hating Doogie’s snake wasn’t a big deal because it’s a boa and it can’t do anything to me. But, the simple fact that I could wake up in the middle of the night to that thing trying to choke me out because Doogie is so careless with it is plenty of reason to be afraid of it and want it dead. I stand by my opinion – Anth’s an asshole!
Anyway… exactly 11 weeks from today I leave for Hawaii!! And that means I am getting down to the diet crunch time. I’ve been slack assing on the working out because I’ve been super stressed at work, but I made the decision to make myself work out every day for the next 11 weeks and then after that I can go back to being fat.
So, if anyone wants to join my weight loss crusade I’ve done some research and here’s how it’s going down. 3500 calories = 1 pound. But, you don’t lose a pound just by cutting 3500 calories out of your diet… it has to be a 3500 calorie deficit. So you start with your resting (or basal) metabolic rate… I’m going with 1200 calories per day, but here’s a link to find yours in case you aren’t a 26 year old, 120 pound, 5 foot 3, female.
So every day my base calorie intake is 1200 calories, anything over is weight gain and anything under is weight loss. To lose 1 pound a week I need to either burn 500 calories a day by exercising or only eat 700 calories. So I’m going to need some ideas from everyone on low calorie foods that I can eat a lot of because only lazy days when I don’t want to work out I’m going to need some tasty ideas!
I ordered this Victoria’s Secret seashell/mermaid bikini
I was pretty disappointed last night when I tried it on and it didn’t look the same on me as it does this girl… so, operation lose a pound a week from now until I leave for Hawaii is in full force.
Any dieting tips/staying strong advice/words of wisdom anyone has…give it to me!
I would like to say ditto to Lucky’s post yesterday. I’m bored with my life and I just moved 8 months ago. I think a lot of it is because I’m not meeting new people that I like and want to hang out with and because it’s a hassle to try to go out and find new people. Not a hassle as in going up to people and striking up a conversation, it’s just a hassle to go out. After roaming the streets waiting for an empty cab to pick you up, waiting in traffic when you finally get a ride, and scoping out the scene I’m exhausted before I ever even get my first drink and I’ve already spent $20 and an hour out. Let alone my friends here are all dudes. That’s problem #2. I’m missing the token partner in crime.
When Lucky was here we had a blast. We were meeting people left and right and it was the first time since I had moved to the big city that I gave a guy my number. When I’m out with a group of guys it’s like no one will come up to me because I’m standing there with 3 dudes, but then I don’t feel comfortable going up to hot guys because what do I say? Hey do you wanna come do some shots with me and my friends…Anth, JM, and Doogie? You guys will have tons in common! You all have weiners.
I guess my first step, as lesbian as it sounds, would be to meet a single girl to go out with. Then we can go out and meet guys. I do have Jess, but she’s one of those girls. And by those girls I mean she is the type of girl where yes she is a cute girl, but she’s no prettier than me or any other girl, but some how she gets all the guys. Yeah, maybe it’s because she can’t handle her booze and gets drunk after one drink and guys think shes easy or maybe it’s because she makes it a point to eye fuck the shit out of every guy that she thinks is attractive. Maybe a little of both.
But while we’re being honest, I don’t think my soulmate/person I’m going to marry is in this city – I’m here for my career. 100% of the guys I have met in this city are into themselves and themselves only and I am not into that. It’s exactly like college. The only thing they do on the weekend is party and get laid.
For example, 2 weekends ago I had plans to go to the beach and hang out with Jess. After the beach we were going to come back get ready and go out for a girls night. 20 minutes before she’s supposed to be at my apartment she calls me and says she’s bringing her friend Mary, fine with me.
When she gets to my apartment she informs me that we’re going to meet her flavor of the week, his friend, and cousin at the beach and they want us to bring a bottle of alcohol and they will get chasers. Unfair, but whatever I have an exccess of booze from my days as a liquor promoter so I grabbed a bottle of that and we were on our way.
We get to the beach and first I meet Jess’ flavor, he’s cute but totally into himself and barely paid her any attention all day long because he was busy picking up other girls on the beach right in front of her face. I mean why wouldn’t he? She had already slept with him on their first date so there’s nothing else to look forward to. So he got wasted (off of my alcohol) and wandered around looking for his next piece of ass.
While on the other hand, his cousin (to my surprise, was The Bed Wetter) and friend had their sights focused on me. Before the friend ever heard me speak a word had already told Jess that he liked me, and Jess had already conveyed the information to me. Like no, he doesn’t like me, he likes the way I look and wants to fuck me. After I started the down slope to 30 I decided I’m not dealing with guys like that anymore because they’re the assholes that will inevitiably fuck me over. Because honestly? What in the hell makes this guy think he even stands a chance with me? Not that I am some beauty queen awesome person who thinks they’re better than everyone else, but you really think we are 12 years old and you can tell my friend you like me and I’ll just rip my clothes off?
This is what I mean, every guy here is full of themselves. If they have a corporate job they think they’re awesome and they can get any girl that their stone cold hearts desire. No thank you.
So anyway, I’ve made the executive decision that once I’ve been at my job for 1 year (January) I’m going to start the job search again. I think I’ve proven to anyone that gives a shit that I can make it in the big city and now I’m over it. If I’m ever going to get married and settle down I don’t want it to be with one of these full of themselves assholes who will probably have an affair with his sexretary.
The people here aren’t good people, and that’s what I need in my life. I’ve prooven myself and there’s 5 months left on the clock, so here you go Big City… it’s your turn.