Tag Archives: big city living

The Rhyming Big City Adventures of Gizzy and Lucky

A poem to re-hash our weekend in the big city, full stories to come later:


Twas the night before Lucky’s birthday when she was set to arrive

Airline complications occurred and she wished she could drive

For she was stuck, overnight, in a land called Texas

Lucky for her she met a chap at a bar who drove a pretty sweet Lexus

With only the clothes on her back, the day of her birth she arrived

For she had made it, thank god she survived

It was time to drink, beer one, beer two, not yet

For Lucky’s bag was still on the jet

A second trip to the airport started the day off right

We found Lucky’s bag, it had made the flight

Back to the apartment we went

Where we found an underage gent

“Take a shot, take a shot” he spattered

With all these young boys, we were sure to get flattered

We drank the day old, then washed our hair up right

For it was time to hit the town for the night

We had an occasion to celebrate, our dear friend Lucky

There was no way this night could be sucky

Off to dinner we went, a sushi place, our fave

Get Lucky a birthday cake, that there, the chocolate wave

Dinner was good, now to concoct phase II in our head

I know! Let’s paint the town red

To bar 1 we went, the drinks were ordered, the atmosphere was set

Too bad there were no boys around to make us wet (ehhh…sorry, there was 1 but he didn’t rhyme)

Bar 2, on Gizzy, on Lucky, on Cabby, and fro

Keep these drinks flowing so we can act like a ho

Danced the night away we sure did

At Bar 3 we met a man dressed as a kid

His name was Danny, and a billionaire he claimed to be

Then he fell, taking the table down, and banging his knee

We felt good, just enough beers to blur the lights

Lets head back to my place and start some fights

To my apartment we went, not sure what we’d find

We walked in and saw a guy’s behind

Someone’s in my bed, who could it be?

An old friend, wake up, come play mouse trap with me

Continue drinking we did as we set up the game

And heard stories that would surely ashame

One last surprise before we call it a night

A birthday cake, 26 candles gleaming with light

There were just enough people to sing her a song

Blew out the candles Lucky did and wished for a dong

Off to bed we go, an early day it will be

We have lots of new attractions and boys to see!

Day 2 began with a flutter

Thank god the smell of alcohol didn’t make us shutter

We left for a ball game, who would win, we don’t know!

As it was just our luck, today the cab business was slow

We walked, and walked, and finally got a ride

We arrived at the game gleaming with pride

Looked around we did, for a scalper with tickets

It was not our day, all we heard were crickets

Back in the cab we went, onward to a festival we go!

We were ready to see the beer flow

The beers were all drank, the food was all eaten

Next up, to the sub-way, lets hope we don’t get beaten

Onward we marched on the way to the train, where we found a small pub

We walked in and what did we see? Girls, with boobies and flub

A beer and a shot we had

Until we decided it was time to return to my pad

To my abode we arrived

To find nothing, but a bunch of guys who were deprived

They begged us to drink, so drink we did

Until we got drunk

And along came a punk

Bill was his name

Football was his fame

But, he was a douche and lame

Next it was time for a roast

The groom to be, step up, he thought it was a toast

We all said our piece, and the boom boom started

It’s not what you think, no one farted

For they were fireworks, right there

We got lucky none landed in our hair

We all watched in amazement, for they were the best fireworks ever!

Well, that’s done, on to the next endeavor

On to the bars we go

We still haven’t acted like a ho

All dolled up we got

We looked damn hot

Down the stairs we went

To find nothing, but a guy with a weird accent

We had been left, oh well, these fools won’t ruin our fun

We were still going out, in our mind we won

At the bar we sat with our drinks in hand

When along came a girl, she wanted to be our frand (Um, I know… I’m lame)

Her name was Miranda and we loved all the shots she bought us

If we had only knew, her boyfriend would make a fuss

We closed down the bar and trotted home

Passed out in bed and silenced the phone

In the morning we awoke ready to start the day

We gathered our things and were off to play

We arrived at the beach to celebrate the USA

We drank some more, fought with some kids, and peed on the beach, hey hey!

The day was over and it was time for the fireworks

We walked and walked until we arrived, we sat down with our drinks and put on a smirk

We watched the fireworks in awe

Then trampled inside hoping not to fall

We got some dinner, some wine, and we on our way

We arrived back home, for Lucky was ready to lay

The next morning arrived and some sad pups we were

It was Lucky’s last day, I sure would miss her

We went to the carnival and rode some rides

We were quite proud, this weekend we made great strides

Off to the airport we went, to tell Lucky goodbye

She hopped on her plane, she was ready to fly…

 

THE END

 

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I’m being office sabotaged!

It’s the moment you’ve all been sitting on the edge of your chairs waiting for since Tuesday.  Drum roll please…. MY LUNCH WITH CORNED BEEF.  Annnd the crowd roaaars.  I’ve been wining and dining myself tonight, clearly.  But on to the story…if you haven’t read my post from last week about an email I got from a co-worker it may be helpful to catch up on the situation before reading the rest of this.

Tuesday quickly rolled around this week, and that morning I was so nervous I could hardly do any work before lunch.  I was texting Lucky on my way to work about how sweaty my hands were and I wasn’t even there to feel out the vibe yet.  When I did get to work I was there for a few hours and Corned Beef finally showed her face at my desk to ask if I had any questions.  She was normal.  Hrmmm.  She went back to her desk, then sent me an email:

11:30 sound ok for lunch?

I told her yes and then immediately texted Lucky saying how weird it was that she would email me that and not ask me when she was at my desk 2 SECONDS before that.  She definitely didn’t want anyone to know we were going out to lunch.  

Finally 11:30 rolled around, we made small talk on the way to the elevator and as soon as we stepped outside shit got cray cray.

“So the reason I didn’t want to talk in the office is because I didn’t want Cigarello to hear.”

Which was kind of what I had figured and I told her that.  Then she proceeded to tell me that she thinks he was trying to sabotage and mess up my accounts to make himself look better because she had found 40 pages worth of mistakes he had made on over 500 accounts (that’s half of my accounts, in case anyone was wondering) and it’s taken her 3 weeks to get it corrected.  She said she informed all of the bosses that it wasn’t me who was messing up that it was Cigarello.  I guess this is the exact same thing that the guy who I replaced got fired for, so it was some need to know info for me.  She didn’t want anyone to come to me accusing me of messing everything up and trying to fire me over it when I really did nothing wrong.

She proceeded to inform me that I’m doing a really good job and catching on really quickly but that I do need to watch out for Cigarello basically that he is crazy.  Which I have been starting to catch onto since he ran his face into the window a few weeks ago trying to look at the clouds and is still talking about it 3 weeks later.  

Apparently when she sat at my desk he would listen in on her private phone calls concerning her health and things of that matter and go and tell everyone and would just make laps around the office for no apparent reason.  Not to mention it’s super creepy and weird when he pops his head up over our half wall and just stares at me, just like Wilson – only creepier and weirder:


Personally I wouldn’t ever take/make any call that I didn’t want people to over hear at work, but I get what she’s saying – a grown up wouldn’t run and tell all their friends that Corned Beef has a bad heart and might die soon and then come back and look over the half wall like a child molester who just got caught with his hands down his pants.

But as we were entering the holy grail of lunch spots swarming with young hot doctors she tells me that Cigarello used to work at the Press at our company for 18 years and got fired for sabotaging his co-workers.  He’s friends from high school with our boss’ boss (the one who gave me the best baseball seats ever) and that’s how he got the job in our office, he doesn’t even have an accounting background.  Well that explains why he sucks at his job, but not so much why he sucks as a person.

So she went on to tell me some other Cigarello tid bits about how he has mastered the art of turning a professional phone call into a personal one, which I’ve noticed and I’ve also noticed he calls everyone he knows if he’s leaving an hour early or taking a day off.  She also said basically everyone hates him so I shouldn’t feel like other people won’t like me if I’m not nice to him. Pretty much solving all my problems 1 by 1.  

When we got back I saw all of the boss’ go into the conference room with Cigarello for the rest of the afternoon (we’re talking at least 3 hours.)  I crossed my fingers and wished on my lucky stars that he would get fired but he was still there today being annoying and weird as ever.  

The good part is I think my boss thought I was the one fucking everything up and now that she realizes it wasn’t me she has been overly nice to me.  She even came to my desk at quarter to five and asked why I was staying late.  Um you don’t have to tell me twice, I’ll leave.

Anyway, the moral of the story here is that Corned Beef is a nice lady and my friend like I thought and hoped, she was just looking out for me and wanted to make me aware of the situation.  She even sent me an email today asking if we could make going out to lunch a more regular thing so that we can get out of the office and she can introduce me to more people.  I agreed, especially considering when we walked into the young doctor lunch hot spot I nearly fainted and told her I was husband hunting for my dear friend Lucky and I while we chatted.  Hopefully she can introduce me to a few prospects, or at least a few friends more my age.

The end.   Wasn’t that a nice happy ending? For now…

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Office politics a no no

Tis a Sunday for a weekend post.  I slacked off on Friday and didn’t post but I need some advice like rull bad so thus – a weekend post! Hooray!

I didn’t get up at 3am to watch the Royal Wedding like Lucky did, but I have been catching the repeats all weekend.  I don’t envy Kate Middleton as much as I envy Harry’s girlfriend Chelsy Davy.  Will is the guy we all know we should like because he is straight laced and a gentleman, but bad boy Harry is just so freaking cute.  And still on the market.   Lucky, switch up our trip to Italy for London?

This whole Royal Wedding thing has made me take a look at my own life though, I just loved the ceremony and all of the traditions they took part in.  It was so formal and not at all American which is why it screams class.  The fact that they waited until they got to Buckingham Palace before they even had their first kiss is just precious.  I want that.  But it’ll never happen, because I’m American and in America if you’re not all over your new spouse at the wedding people whisper and think you don’t love each other.  Ughhh…. eff this country.  Anyway, in honor of the holiday and from now to eternity please refer to Lucky and I by our Royal names honorably given to us by E!’s Royal Name generator:

Princess Gizzy Arabella Ingleshirecott of New Yorksburgh and Dame Lucky Tildsley De Sotocock of New Yorkport

But, on to my real problem: work.  Things seem to be getting easier every day, I’m still learning a lot and hate pretty much everyone I work with but I feel like I get a hell of a lot more than anyone else accomplished and I’m almost to the point where I can sit at my desk and google fun things until I get an email of someone asking me to do something, then I can start working.  

So there’s this part time lady, we’ll call her Corned Beef.  There are 4 other people that hold the same position I’m in, and a few years ago Corned Beef was one of us, she wasn’t at my desk but when the guy who sat at my desk suddenly got fired last year everyone pitched in to pick up the slack until they hired me 9 months later.  Corned Beef only works 2 days a week so she misses a big majority of the drama that happens with our accounts while she’s not working.  The past few weeks she’s been working on these reports basically to make sure we’re all doing everything correctly.  She had come to me about a few things that I was putting into the system wrong, I took note of it and we all went on our marry day.  Until Friday morning when I got to the office and saw she had sent this email Thursday night:

Hi Gizzy,
Since I know you bring your lunch I wanted to ask in advance if you would like to go for lunch next week.  I have a few things that I have found that are work related that I want to discuss with you and would prefer to not do that in the office.  Don’t be afraid…..there are things that I have found while doing the exception reports that I want to go over with you and some other office politics items.  I must admit that going through those reports is down rite mundane, but at the same time very enlightening!
I don’t know if you have been to the cafeteria for lunch, if not they have a big selection of items and the food is good, but expensive.  Consider lunch on me, since I am inviting and it will be considered part of training.  Let me know if Tues. or Thurs. is better for you.

Corned Beef

I know what you’re all thinking, Gizzy you’re such a tool that email is not bad at all she is trying to help you, which is exactly what Anth and JM told me when I got home Friday night and made them analyze it with me.  But, I am pretty sensitive to any kind of criticism when it comes to my work, I take detailed notes on EVERYTHING and ask a lot of questions and take work very seriously because if something goes wrong I am going to make sure it wasn’t my fault – to the point where I have a hard time making friends in the office (as you can clearly see by now.) People always tell me that I’m too serious and need to take a break and go outside and get some fresh air.  Uhhh no, because not taking breaks means I can leave half an hour earlier.  And that’s what this is all for, so I can come home and lay in my bed.  Seriously, once I have all of my student loans paid off and buy myself a new car I’m quitting my job and getting one where I only have to work 15 hours a week that just pays my rent and utilities.  

But anyway, Cocktails At Tiffany’s readers this is where I am reaching out to you.  What do you guys think this email means?  Did I fuck up so badly that she has to take me to lunch to tell me I’m about to get fired? Is she trying to shit talk Cigarello because he taught me how to do everything wrong and doesn’t want him to hear? What are the office politics about!? They’ve already told me there’s not much room for promotion so they don’t expect me to stay more than 2 years, so how could there possibly be office politics involved at all? I don’t talk to anyone so I’m not manipulating people.  This all just seems so weird to me.

Lucky did some analyzing with me Friday morning while she was at her work retreat, and I told her that I don’t think the lady is trying to be malicious or rude because she’s really my only friend at the office.  But, I don’t understand why it needs to be taken outside of the office when we have conference rooms and empty offices we could easily talk in.  Lucky pointed out that it’s inappropriate that she’s taking it outside of the office, and I agree.  Especially if she’s going to tell me I’m doing a bunch of things wrong, I understand not wanting to embarrass me in front of anyone else, but I also feel like if I’m doing things wrong my boss needs to call me into her office to talk to me about it, not someone who is there 2 days a week and who is essentially below me and one of my assistants on our work totem pole.  

The “lunch meeting” is on Tuesday, so bring on your thoughts.  I need to prepare myself for anything that could fly my way Tuesday afternoon.

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