Tag Archives: blogging

7. Describe your perfect man/woman.

These are all so HARD.

Ever since all of the stuff with D, I feel really defeated in love.

I used to have this list of all these things I wanted in a man. And sometimes, I’ve gotten some of the things on that long list. But no matter who or what, that guy turns out to be an asshole. And now I’m in this place where I associate all of those good qualities I once wanted, with the bad ones that I got.

Like, yeah he looked great in a baseball hat…but he was controlling.

Hrmph.

So…my dream guy…looks like Zac Efron…smells like Abercrombie (or anything mountain-lodgey)…is sweet to me… thinks I’m awesome… tells me I’m beautiful… is funny… smart… honest… doesn’t lie to me or cheat on me… actually he pretty much is Zac Efron’s character in the Lucky One, okay, I said it.

The older I get and the more single I become the more convoluted my fantasy man becomes. Right now I’d like it to be a mix between Zac Efron, Bruno Mars, Ryan Gosling, and Harry Styles. A little piece of each of them.

I’d like everything about Zac Efron, his face, his abs, his penis (assuming it’s big, but not too big, the perfect peen). Bruno Mars’ personality, sense of humor, and voice. Bruno’s sense of humor is kind of he doesn’t take life too seriously and can make fun of himself, and I really love it and that’s what makes him so attractive to me. Any trait the guy could get from Ryan Gosling would be fine, because the man is perfect. Harry Styles’ humbleness and it would be ok if the guy looked like him a little too. 

On a non-celebrity level I really just want someone who is honest. In all of my relationships that has been the one thing that has always been missing.  Guys are either not honest about where they’ve been/who they’ve been talking to or aren’t honest about their feelings and what they want, and right now that’s at the top of my list. Right below that is someone who is fun/funny and not a serious Debbie Downer.  It’s pretty rare for me to be in a bad mood or to be super serious about anything at all. I laugh at everything, so I really want someone who just has fun all of the time in any situation.  Someone who can take a joke and can dish them right back out would fit right in with me.  I’d also like to find a guy who is secure and confident with who he is.  The more I date the more I realize guys are way more insecure than girls, and it’s a huge buzzkill. Any guys that want to date me I really just need 3 things – be hot as fuck, funny, and honest. If I can find a guy like that I’m confident we will have a lifetime of happiness and really attractive children.

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6. If you could invent one thing, what would it be and why?

I’m sure this is probably already a thing…but I have always wanted to invent natural peanut butter in a can. You know, like cheese in a can, but peanut butter and actually healthy. Because I really love to eat peanut butter and think about how much easier it would be if you could spray it onto your apple slices or celery sticks???

I pack a jar in my lunch almost every day to eat with my apple and I have to bring a butter knife and then the sticky knife is in my lunchbox.

And yes, I realize I’m almost 30 and just said “Lunchbox.”

This is really tough for me because I’m not that creative and I’ve been racking my brain all day to try and think of something, but the clock is ticking so I’m just going to have to pull something out of my ass. I don’t even know. A belt that will hold your cup/water bottle/starbucks. It would look hideous, but think about how awesome having that free hand would be while you’re getting into your car, shopping, and paying for shit.  Then my invention would be featured on that lame invention commercial. 

P.s. I’m going to add in a shameless plug here, because I can.  We just started using bloglovin, and if you don’t know what it is go check it out at bloglovin.com, it’s pretty awesome. But make sure you follow us first!

 

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5. What are your 5 biggest fears and why?

LUCKY
    1. Living/dying alone. I think you all probably know this one. And I’m not really sure WHY I’m terrified of living the rest of my life, and ultimately dying, alone…I guess it’s human nature to want to couple up and be together, right?
    2. Masks. This is why I hate Halloween. This isn’t just a, “Oh I don’t like masks” thing. I’m terrified of them. Like it’s not even funny to me. According to my mom, I’ve hated them always, and I think it’s just a constant fear of not knowing who people truly are.
    3. Not reaching my dreams. Like most people, my dreams have changed a lot over the years. I’m still not sure what exactly they are. But I know I want to stay writing and stay creating and I hope one day, doing that will pay my bills, in  a way that I’m never feeling like I have to “work.”
    4. Being bitter. I know I’ve been hurt a lot in my past and I’m still working to move past it. But if I have to be single forever, I at least hope I can be a pleasant, happy person to be around and not bitter and jealous.
    5. Complacency. This kind of goes with #3, but a lot of my coworkers have just let their brains turn to mush and I’m terrified of that. I’m always trying to stay on top of things and stay creative so that I’m never complacent.

GIZZY

Losing my parents, dying, going blind, spiders, and snakes. BOOM next question. Oh right, I have to tell you why. Alright here goes…

1. Losing my parents. I’ve heard people use this exact phrase on Dr. Phil and Opera about a million times, but it really sums it up.  I don’t know how to live in a World where my parents don’t. I know one day I’ll have to do it (unless I go first, eck!) but it really brings me to tears even thinking about it.

2. Dying. I mean, who isn’t afraid of dying? Except Jesus. You know I don’t want to get all philosophical and spiritual here, but I get super weirded out when I think about how life will go on without me and what really happens to you/your spirit when you die. Alright, enough about death. Damn.

3. Going blind.  I have horrible eyesight and I am honestly terrified that one day I will go completely blind.  I couldn’t imagine not being able to see the people I love, watch tv (of course), and see all the beautiful things in the world.

4. Spiders. Okay, so once when I was in high school I woke up in the middle of the night to a gust of wind over my face.  I was thinking I needed to close my window or shut my ceiling fan off, but when I opened my eyes there was a gigantic spider hanging over my face. I still have nightmares about this and to this day when I see a spider I cry like a baby.

5. Snakes. I think it’s because they hide and they don’t blink, but they fucking creep me out. I’ve done stupid things to try and conquer this fear. Like this (side note: at the time I was like “I’M BRITNEY BITCH!” that was the only way I could talk myself into doing this):

photo-2

britney

(P.S. Mines bigger.)

But yes, that is a giant python around my neck. I should have been high off my ass when I did that, but I wasn’t, and I still can’t believe I actually did it.  However, take note that I am standing all awkward and refused to actually touch it, somehow that made it ok but didn’t help with my fear at all.

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Gizzy Investigates: What happened to Bruno Mars’ Mother’s Hawaii Home

It’s no secret that I am a huge Bruno Mars fan.  So this past weekend when a new docu-series about his 4 sisters “The Lylas” premiered on WEtv, I was beyond excited to watch it.  After I found out about the series a few months ago I followed all of the sisters on twitter and have been laughing hysterically at their back and forth banter ever since.  They seem like really genuine, down to Earth girls, much like Bruno, so I couldn’t help but love them too.  They honestly make you want to have a whole gaggle of sisters to laugh and make jokes with, and it made me upset that I don’t have any siblings close to me in age.

The first episode, “Aloha LA” was centered around the girls picking up and moving from Hawaii to LA to start their music career.  Many of the scenes featured their late mother, Bernadette, which would have brought a tear to anyone’s eye, but since I follow the family and see their tweets and pictures of her, I was crying like a baby 10 seconds into it when the 4 sisters were getting tattoos in memory of her. They even put her ashes in the ink!  Like her children, she also seemed very down to Earth and fun loving, and after watching her for 5 minutes in the first episode, I could totally sympathize with how much they must miss her. I didn’t even know her and I already know that I’ll miss seeing her on the show.

The scenes she was featured in took place at the home Bruno bought for her in Honolulu, Hawaii.  A huge beautiful dream house on the beach. You all know that I am investigator Gizzy, so seeing this beautiful house and knowing all her children now live in LA, I started to wonder what happened to the house.  I wondered if the family would keep the house for a place to stay and remember her when they were visiting Hawaii, or would they sell it?  So I took to the almighty Google and came up with nothing. 

Since I often scour the internet for homes for sale that I can’t afford in cities I’ll only ever visit, I knew exactly where to go next. Good ol’ Trulia. Surprisingly enough, I found that the house is for sale, and has been on the market for all of 8 days, and it is even more beautiful than what you see in the show.

When my Grandfather passed away a few years ago we had his house cleaned out and a buyer lined up within about 6 weeks.  I know for my family, selling the house was a good way to cope. So I feel for them and hope their family is able to find peace with it.

Anyway, in the show Bernadette mentions the house and alludes to how amazing it is and that she needs the girls to be really successful so she can have another house just like it in LA. So here you go, check it out, she wasn’t kidding:

Bruno Mars’ Mother’s House

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I turned into a hippie freak

As Lucky mentioned yesterday I too am doing a food challenge.  Mine isn’t so much for detox like Lucky’s, but is mostly just to increase overall wellness and a reason for me to take notice of all the garbage I’m putting into my body. And I’ll also say that I’ve done the Advocare challenge that Lucky is doing a few times, and it’s way harder than what I’m doing. WIth that you literally have to make everything yourself and it sucks donkey, so lets give props to her.

I’m doing a challenge to see if I can eat paleo for 30 days. I’m sure by now everyone knows what paleo is, but in the event that you don’t I’ll give you a little run down. There are different versions of paleo and all kinds of rules that go along with it, but the gist is that you eat food that caveman ate.  Which means fruit, veggies, nuts, lean meats and fish and that’s basically it. The super paleo people go so far as to make sure all the fruits, veggies, and nuts they eat are organic and the animals are grass fed and pasture raised. I like the idea of all that; but lets be honest, I’m a baller on a budget and that super paleo shit is expensive. So I do the best I can.  

I decided to do the challenge because of all the health benefits that come along with it. I read that those who suffer from headaches and joint pain often find that changing their diet helps relieve a lot of the ache, it helps clear skin, gives mental clarity and of course helps with weight loss.  So I figured why not, the worst that could happen is I would look good and feel great at the end of it, right? Right.

I’m a few weeks in and started the challenge reminding myself that it was only for 30 days, not forever and as soon as it was over I could have all the PSL (not really cause it’s going to be gone!) and cinnamon rolls I wanted. The only thing I have really had a huge craving for is chocolate and PSL.  And you’re allowed to have dark chocolate on paleo, but it’s just not the same.  Paleo has been around long enough that there are a lot of good recipes out there that are paleo substitutes for anything non-paleo you could want. Except grilled cheese, still haven’t found one for that.  But in general it’s pretty doable, unless you’re super busy, then you’re fucked because if you have a hankering for cookies or banana bread you’ve got to make that shit yourself. The groceries stores just got on board with gluten free stuff, so I’m sure paleo isn’t far behind, but for now we’re on our own.

Anyway, the challenge got me reading labels, something I rarely did before.  I started looking at ingredients to see if things were paleo friendly and realized how much shit I am putting in my body that I really have no clue what the hell it is.  (By the way, my new general rule of thumb when this is over is that if there are more than 2 ingredients that I can’t pronounce/don’t know what it is – I’m not going to eat it. I may regret this decision.) So I started googling. And that lead me to swearing to never put certain foods in my mouth again. One of those being peanuts. Want to know why? 

They add MSG to it.  Riddle me this, why the fuck do they need to add MSG to peanuts? They are born exactly the way you eat them.  There is really no processing needed aside from removing the shell and adding a little salt. But they add the one thing everyone wants to stay away from and people don’t even realize they are eating it because they are peanuts for God’s sake. But they add it, along with a whole gaggle of other shit you probably would prefer not to eat. At some point I’ll scare everyone to death and post everything else I found, but I ain’t got the times right now ya’ll.  

I blame this all on the health nut freaks I work with. They turned me. They turned me into one of them and I like it.

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Happy Halloween, You Blockheads!

In the spirit of Halloween (my favorite Holiday after the 4th of July) I’m going to keep this post light, because no one wants to read about how I’m pissed off at the World on such a joyful day.  So with that said, I’m just going to share a picture of my Halloween costume.

Pig Pen

And the rest of my department at work.

Peanuts Gang

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Gizzy’s Diary – Entry 1

Dear Diary,

This week has been mediocre, as is my life.  I accepted the role of ‘guinea pig’ for my team’s Halloween costume at work.  Meaning, I got to bring all the supplies home, make the costume, and then had to instruct everyone at work on how to make it.  They called me Miss Gizzy, and it felt good.  However, applying 2 layers of paper mache to a beach ball did not feel good.   In fact, it made me feel really fucking gross because the “paste” is made out of flour and water and when I went outside to walk the dog, my neighbor asked if I was aware that I had biscuit in my hair. I wanted to ask if he was aware that he should shut the fuck up, but be proud, Diary, I did not.

Last weekend I went to visit Gigi.  We threw ourselves a “I’m not getting married” Bachelorette party, which was fun because we got free drinks and negative attention, but ended in Gigi getting flowers from a guy that hit on me. I won’t even elaborate because I’m still pissed at that flower stealing whore face.

Earlier this week I threw 2 tantrums in public. Both over spaghetti squash, or rather the lack there of. I mean, I don’t live on fucking Antarctica. Can I not expect my local grocer to carry a common food item such as that? According to Walmart Manager Billy, I cannot.

Thanks for listening, Diary.

Love,

Your BFF, Gizzy<3

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