Tag Archives: christmas

Gizzy’s Christmas Letter

Since I’ve been MIA for about, oh forever, I figure you guys might like a little update on what’s going on in my life besides being a dumpee victim. So here I give you my Christmas-esk letter about all the other stuff.

Dear Family, Friends, Colleagues, and People I don’t know:

I hope this letter finds you well. As you know, in the past 6 months my life has done a 180 and back again. It’s been a weird ride, hopefully for the better but we’ll find out when this transitional phase in my life is over.

My new job near hometown is awesome. I really have no complaints, I mean working with numbers kind of sucks donkey but I couldn’t ask for a better office atmosphere. Basically take the complete opposite of my job in the big city times that by 10, douce it in glitter, have Elton John sing about it, and you’ve got my new job. My department is comprised of all women (13 of us), which you might think would be a lot of drama, but it’s not at all, most of them are older and hysterical. When my alma mater played the nearby University that everyone cheers for in basketball, they decorated my office space in streamers, banners, and memorabilia of their team, and interrupted me with the fight song every time I opened my mouth that day. My original plan was to take this job because it was a permanent position and keep it until I could find something permanent in the branch of the company I had originally started out in. But now I like working with these ladies so well, and they’ve honestly brought me out of my social anxiety shell, that I might just stay forever. They like to have office parties, literally every other week, and it’s awesome. At first I was like, okay are we ever going to do work around here? But now I love it and can’t wait until the next one – which happens to be my birthday celebration. Aside from Lucky and my family, no one has ever done anything special for my birthday, hell my co-workers in the Big City didn’t even know when my birthday was (assholes). But as soon as these guys found out my birthday was approaching they scheduled a party planning meeting where they asked me what my favorite types of foods were, what I didn’t like to eat, what my favorite colors are, and what theme I wanted (I picked Princess theme, because why the eff not? I will absolutely wear a sparkly tiara and fluffy dress for the day and I will rock the shit out of it). For the first time since I turned 21 I’m actually excited for my birthday.

And since I’ve started working there, I’ve discovered that if you go to graduate school at that nearby University that my office happens to be partnered with, if you can get in, you go for free. Getting an MBA has always been a big goal of mine, so I did all that riff-raff to apply, got accepted, and will be starting graduate classes this summer. I meet with my academic advisor Friday morning to schedule my classes – eck! So, for right now I’m pretty stoked, come July and August when I’m balancing school and work I’ll probably feel different but ya know, whatevs.

I signed up to run two 5Ks this summer, one supporting epilepsy research in honor of my sister (Team Ella!) and one that’s just for fun where there’s lot of beer at the end, I hope to run a mini-marathon or tough mudder race in the fall (if I don’t die of exhaustion before then).

Aside from that, I’m up to the same old shenanigans. I still like drinking beer, cussing like a sailor, watching trashy tv, and sitting on my couch. Some things never change.

Happy Holidays!

Gizzy

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Back to reality in 2013

Well happy 2013 folks! 2013 started out the same for me as 2012 ended, awesome.  And now, a mere 4 days into the New Year, I’m sad.  Because I’m back at work – BLAH! On a brighter note, everyone is healthy in 2013 so that’s a giant load off.
 
I typically don’t make New Year’s resolutions, and if I do, they are stupid.  One year in college, Lucky and I rang in the New Year by rolling around our lay-uer (actually layer, but pronounced LAYUUEER) playing the SIMS on Playstation and eating God knows what.  I don’t even think we drank, because we are the shit. Anyway, that year as I was stuffing cheese puffs and thin mints into my pie hole, I made the resolution to “Make people want more Gizzy”.  What is that? How do you even do that? Those are the types of resolutions I make. 
 
So I didn’t make a resolution this year, but I did have fun ringing in the New Year and celebrating the fact that the World didn’t get sucked into a black hole and shattered into a gazillion pieces.  Damn Mayans.
 
On Christmas night after making my rounds to all my family member’s houses and spending exactly 2 hours at each (the perfect amount of time), I hopped in my car and headed toward the mountains for a week at Nutter Butter’s family’s cabin, where the temperature was at a high of 15 on most days and the snowfall was up to my knees.  In the almost 3 years that we’ve had this blog, I can count zero times that I’ve talked about how much I love frolicking in the snow. That’s because I don’t love it, I like warm sandy beaches where I can tan my face off and drink margaritas by the pool. Typically when it snows I take that as an opportunity to put on my ugliest sweats so I can sit around and watch rom com’s and eat food until the ground thaws in the Spring.
 
On day 1 as soon as the sun rose, NB and I suited up for my first ever snowmobile ride – where I was the passenger and he was the driver.  I don’t know if any of you have ever riden on the back of a snowmobile, but I’m pretty sure that’s the closest I’ve ever come to dying.  Riding on the back is terrifying, driving your own, however, one of the most fun things I’ve ever done.  Sure I didn’t fall off at all when he was driving, and I fell off at least half a dozen times when I was driving myself, but you know how it is.
 
So along with snowmobiling, we also did some ice fishing, ice skating, hiking, skiing, sledding, sightseeing and shopping.  The best part was that there was no one around, so with the exception of the day we went shopping and the night we went to the local watering hole, I didn’t see another person for a week, or watch tv, and had no cell phone reception, and it was amazeballs.  I came back feeling all refreshed and relaxed and about 4 hours into work on Wednesday it felt like I had never left.  At this point, I would sell all of my belongings and live in a trailor at the top of a mountain for the rest of my life with a billygoat as my only companion just to go back to the solitude.
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Santa, Bieber.

That’s right, it’s Santa and his reindeer, Justin Bieber.

santabiebs

Har, har, har!

Just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas, get drunk, eat a ton, and we’ll blog about it soon enough!

Love,

Gizzy & Lucky

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This one’s for the singletons.

HEY YO, it’s Friday. Friday before Christmas, and I’m Jolly as hell, if that’s possible. Because I’m so cheerful, I’ve got a treat for ya! Resident Nice Guy Matthew wrote a lil somethin’ somethin’ to warm your hearts just in time for St. Nick’s visit. Enjoy!

Being single this time of year sucks.

I’m not speaking just in terms of Christmas and New Years. I’m talking December, I’m talking winter, I’m talking when it has the potential of getting cold enough (at least here in Kansas) to make you want to wet yourself to stay warm. Maybe it would more appropriate for me to say being single from about late November to late March really sucks. However, since Christmas is merely a short number of days away let’s keep this timely shall we?
During this time of year there is one particular type of person you do not want to be; a hopeless, old-fashioned, romantic. A person like this isn’t necessarily lost between the realms of reality and fantasy. This is the type of person who holds on to the belief that if you truly want the love-story-of-all-love-stories it’s up to you to make it happen. Do you know anyone like this? If not, please allow me to introduce you to one so you aren’t lost as you continue to read on.
 
Hi. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
 
It is my most humbled opinion that around this time every year my brain becomes hard-wired for having someone special in my life. Let me paint you a [word] picture (if anything, because I studied art for nearly a decade and I would hate to let those fine-crafted skills go to waste):
 
Our Story Begins…
 
On this particular imaginary December Saturday evening it is bitterly cold and snowing. Inside of the apartment one can hear Michael Buble singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’; (Editor’s note: here, allow me  
…while from the kitchen two other voices can be heard laughing and singing along. While I am busy adding a secret ingredient (Rum Chata) to a couple cups of hot cocoa, [insert name of woman I should be dating] is plating our Chinese take-out. Carrying our respected dishes of the perfect “snowed in” meal we head to the living room where the fireplace has already been turned on to provide a combination of ambiance and warmth. As we both settle onto my freakishly awesome couch we begin the first Christmas movie planned for our holiday marathon.
 
Now, in the ideal situation I’ll be lucky enough to find a woman who will appreciate (tolerate) some of my unique choices in Christmas movies; such as Gremlins and Die Hard. However, other choices would consist of classics such as Holiday Inn andWhite Christmas; comedies like Christmas Vacation and Home Alone; to the more serious plot lines of Serendipity and The Family Stone. Regardless of what we watch, once we’ve finished eating she curls up in my arms and we cuddle under a fleece blanket. 
 
As the credits begin to roll on the second film I get up indicating that I’ll take the dog(s) out for a quick walk. While I’m securing my hoodie, before putting on the next layer, she begins taking care of our dinner mess because we’re awesome and believe in that teamwork thing. By the time I return she’s not only changed into some sweats, and that t-shirt of mine that looks oh-so-good on her, but she’s also poured a couple glasses of wine. Obviously no movie marathon is complete without popcorn. I remove a pot from a lower cabinet, pour in some olive oil, and switch on a burner. Don’t act so surprised that I didn’t just throw a bag into the microwave and hit the ‘popcorn’ button. You have to respect your food and make it with such respect. By the time I return to the couch I’m carrying a tub of popcorn with the perfect proportions of cheddar, and kettle corn, seasoning with a hint of melted butter. 
 
The credits are now nearly complete on the third film. The popcorn has been, more-or-less, devoured. Our wine glasses sit together, empty, on the floor. Glancing through the balcony door she notices that the snow is now tranquilly falling to the ground and recommends that we sit outside to enjoy it for a bit. I make a comment on how cold it is (below freezing). She counters by saying we can share a seat under one blanket, and bring out the remaining half-bottle of wine. I agree without hesitation.
 
The view from the balcony consists of a blanketed white landscape lit by a series of street lights running along side the street and strings of Christmas lights on neighing apartment buildings. After taking a pull from the wine bottle she nestles her head on my shoulder and hands it to me. After taking a swig myself I let out a relaxing sigh. She turns her head towards me, smiles, gives me a kiss on the neck, and lets out her own happy sigh. Four minutes total go by before she says she’s too cold and wants to go back inside.
 
At speeds that would even challenge The Flash she rushes into the apartment, slides the glass door shut and by the time I’m standing and facing the door, she locks it. Calmly standing in the cool elements I give her that “Really?” look we’re all familiar with. She stands there with the largest childish grin. It’s a great grin. How can I not like this woman? I try pleading with her. I try bribing her with promises. She doesn’t budge. At this point my ears are as red as Rudolph’s nose. Time has come to play the card that has a success rate of 83%. Puppy. Dog. Eyes. She says I’m not playing fair. This time I don’t budge until she finally cracks and unlocks the door. 
 
By the time my shoes have been removed, and I’m sliding the balcony door shut, she has found a place to sit directly in front of the fireplace. Her hand pats the ground next to her while she gives me an over-exaggerated come hither look. I point at myself pretending to ask her non-verbally, “Me?”, and look over both of my shoulders. Shrugging said shoulders, I slowly make my way over with hands deep in my pockets pretending to be extremely embarrassed but flattered. We both snicker as I sit down next to her. She looks at my still red ears and genuinely feels bad for her joke. Looking into my eyes she makes cups with both of her hands and holds them over my ears.  
 
We realize just how big of dorks we are. It works. I become lost in a trance as I watch the flicker of light from the fire reflect in her eyes. I can’t help notice just how beautiful she is. She returns with a look like she has just read my mind and knows I just called her beautiful.
 
 
Is that a vivid enough picture? 
 
This is how my mind works. That’s why is sucks to be me, during the holidays, and single. I’ll be completely honest with you and admit that it can be a bit of a downer from time to time. It isn’t a lonely feeling. I’m not lonely. I am fortunate enough to have incredible people in my life. I live in a city where I have close friends, and even family, anywhere between 5 to 25 minutes away. There are even more close friends, and again family, only a mere phone call away. Then thanks to the powers of technology there are friends who are a mere key stroke away. It would be virtually impossible, and illogical, for me to even try and convince myself that I was alone. I’m never alone. 
 
The present situation is, more or less, just frustrating. It’s frustrating because there’s so much inside that just wants to burst out. 
 
So let me say it again, being single this time of year sucks. 
 
Do I need someone in my life to make me happy, to make things feel complete? No.
 
But it sure as hell would be nice to have someone special to share all of this with. 
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Getting closer…

I know just the other day I was saying the holidays have got me a little down, but I’m starting to get excited. YAY!

I did put up a tree—a nice and tall, 8 footer—bought some stockings and holiday plates. My mom is traveling the 15 hours to visit me. It will be the first Christmas morning we’ve spent together in 10 years, and I’m really just a kid looking forward to seeing her mom. Truthfully, if she wasn’t coming, I totally was planning on not putting up a tree, pulling a John Grisham and just skipping the holiday altogether.

But there is one thing about Christmas that bothers me. It’s this:

Is it just me or is that commercial so fucking awkward??? I seriously have to change the channel when I see the opening scene. Like… they aren’t acting like they’re brother and sister. They act like they want to do each other and it freaks me out.

I thought I was the only one who felt this way, and then I saw this RECUT.

And just to kick it up a notch, there was this:

My thoughts exactly. Anyone got any funny or super depressing holiday commercials to share?

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Our grown up Christmas list.

It’s Christmas Eve Eve! One of my favorite holidays of the year…

I know most of you probably have the day off, or perhaps you’re already traveling to your holiday destination…But I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you without a Christmas post of some sort.

Since writing a Christmas list is one of my favorite pastimes, here it is—Lucky & Gizzy’s Holiday Wish List 2011:

This year, I wish:

  • John Mayer would finally text me, confess his undying love for me, then bake me a cake asking me to marry him on it. In the icing.
  • I would win the lottery. And that it would be tax-free.
  • I could meet Gavin DeGraw.
  • That a new job opportunity would arise. To be Justin Bieber’s manager.
  • I could learn how to play the guitar. Overnight.
  • BEX’s apartment would collapse. With him inside.
  • I could be a co-host for Live With Kelly.
  • I could be a cover model. That’s it.
  • I would wake up in Europe. With this guy:
  • That I could get an invite. Tonight. To this party:

If you really want to know, I asked for a pair of sweat pants of Victoria’s Secret this year. That’s how fucking lazy and pathetic I am. I also thought long and hard about what I REALLY REALLY wanted under my tree this year. My answer? A gift from John Mayer was the one thing I wanted. So, I bought myself a gift, wrapped it, and put on the tag “To Lucky, From John Mayer.”

This year I wasn’t sad about being single, so you know that’s all I can ask for.  I’m happy being a lonely old spinster and next year I’m going to get a few dozen cats and well, then I’ll be ready to die.

But if you’re going to twist my arm, I also wish:

  • For world peace and to end hunger  (There I said it, now I totes deserve the rest of the things on my list because I am a good person.)
  • To come home from vacation and have my car be stolen, same goes for that frat house I live in.
  • That my family didn’t think it was necessary to put everything we own in the attic while we are away on vacation.  They are just sure someone is going to break in to steal Ella’s American Girl Dolls.
  • For High School Crush to make a move so we can get married already, if I can’t have this I’d like for Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes to breakup so that I can have him to make me feel better.
  • To wake up Christmas morning and be famous.  And rich.
  • That we get a babillion hits this month.  Or that we get freshly pressed, we stopped cussing so much for that shit!
  • That people don’t notice when I start to slowly incorporate an Australian accent into my speech.
  • That I don’t kill my family on this vacation we’re on.
  • That the Chipmunks from Alvin and the Chipmunks would come to life and be my friends/slaves.
  • My friend who has a record deal would write a theme song to my life, record it, and help me make the video for it.  Just so that when I’m feeling down about myself I can watch it and be like OHH HAHA that’s right, that is my life.
I really did ask for all those things this year.  But not from my parents, from Jesus.  I typically don’t make a Christmas list for my parents because they always hand me wads of cash on Christmas and call it day. And you know what, money can buy happiness, so keep it comin rentals.  So when I do ask for something I always ask Jesus to hook a sistah up because he’s The Man, and I only ask for things that will legitimately make me cooler a better person for mankind.

Done and Done.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukuh, and a Joyous Kwanzaa to all (you little jerks)!

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The night I FINALLY hung out with HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH… Part 2!

So the night with High School Crush continues… Last time on “I can’t believe this is my effing life right now!”: High School Crush might like me, because he wants to hang some more.

We made our way through the crowd to bar #2 – you know I had to do the classic grab on to his arm dealio to make sure we didn’t get separated.  At one point I thought we might hold hands, but then I realized we aren’t 14 anymore and I shouldn’t let teenage Gizzy’s dreams get the best of me.  Because goddamnit, that little brat got all the action!  I could only imagine the kind of scrutiny I’d get from all my friends (especially Lucky) if I reported back that I made my move and we just sat around and held hands all night.  Because that’s what I did with my boyfriend in middle school.  We didn’t talk, we just held hands and it was like OMG – did you see us holding hands for like 5 hours? Our hand sweat totally made sweat babies up in there.

Anywayzzzz…we got to bar #2 and HSC bought us all drinks and we basically started sharing our life stories.  Honestly I can’t even remember what all we talked about, I just know neither of us would shut up.  Alcohol is the best invention EVER.  At one point I was telling him about how I’m over the big city and I need to find a place that doesn’t have a babillion people runnin’ round.  And he was all oh where are you going to look – so I named off a few cities, including the one he lives in.  He freaked out being all omg yes you have to move to my city, that’s the only option, don’t even waste your time with the other places.  I do like the city that he lives in, but really him and my high school ex boyfriend are the only people I know that live there, so that would be weird.  And I’m only gonna move there if we can get married or if Lucky moves with me.  It’s kind of a crap shoot on if anything would even happen if we lived in the same city, unless we started dating and did the long distance thing for a while.  I wouldn’t even feel totally comfortable moving there right now and relying on him to just be a friend to hang out with.  Who knows what he’s got going on in that zip code.

Finally his friend got a word in and made us all start reminiscing about high school.  Which made me really nervous.  Like I thought I might vom, in my head I just kept thinking, Please do not mention the time I threw up on you, please do not mention the time I threw up on you. And he didn’t.  Instead they questioned me about Lucky hooking up with one of their friends in high school.  HAHA.  It’s honestly mine and Lucky’s favorite story because it was the closet freak and we’re like yeah he’s all talk and Lucky was all, “Shit man, I’m gonna do it.  Take me over there.”  So I did, and they hooked up on the side of his house, while I circled the block, and it is by far the funniest thing that ever happened.

About this time Betty asks HSC where he’s staying, he said he didn’t know yet but probably with his friend or closet freak.  Then she leans forward over me and whispers into his ear, “We’re going to be leaving within the hour, if you want to come back with her that’s fine, it’s your decision.”  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I acted like I didn’t hear what she said because I didn’t want any part in it.  I’m sorry, but we are 26 years old – I don’t need you to invite guys home for me.  And secondly, if we wanted to hook up we sure as hell wouldn’t be going back to do it in your daughter’s midget bunk bed. 

So I looked at his friend and then his friend says to me, “So Betty said you wanted to come here because your ex was here?” I thought I was going to kill her.  I played it off an was like, “Whaaaat? Who?” and he was like, “Oh maybe not.” But I do recall when Betty said she wanted to go to bar #2 I said to her, “You know who we’ll probably see there? Douchearoo, that’s like his spot.” And she was all for it because she thought he would buy us drinks, and I’m like no I don’t even want to talk to him.  Seriously, Betty can never be around a guy I like ever again.  Next year I’ll go to the party alone if I have to.

Anyway, HSC and I chatted for a few more then Betty said they were going to get the car.  They’d circle around and if I wanted to come back with them I should come out when they pulled up.  There was really no question – I told her I was coming back with them and not to leave me. She said if I didn’t come out she was assuming that HSC and I were going somewhere.  So the fact that she would just leave me there is really reassuring, what a great friend.  Again, we are not in college, we are not 19, and at this point if something happens between high school crush and I it’s probably going to be the start of a legitimate relationship, I don’t think either of us are really looking for a hump and dump.  So step off!

I said my goodbyes to the friend and told HSC I had to go, and he honest to god had a really disappointing look on his face.  I mean, we still had 30 minutes before the bar closed so I was upset about it too, but what can ya do?  Then, we hugged and had one of those moments where you’re like, do we kiss? Is this weird? We just stood there at looked each other, it felt like it was about 6 hours even though it was probably only like 5 seconds. 

Just as I was about to walk away HSC grabbed my arm and was like, “Hey what are you doing tomorrow? Do you wanna get some food and watch the games?” Uhhh yeah I do! So I said yes and left.

Not 5 minutes after I left he was already texting me about how he was excited to hang out the next day. 

….To be continued! Part 3 coming Tuesday! – I’m so lame.

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