Tag Archives: clean

Clean up or ship out

I am fuming. I am so sick of these boys that I live with taking advantage of me.  Anth continues to think we all are getting paid an engineer’s salary like him and that it’s totally ok to make decisions about how Doogie and I will spend our money without consulting us first.

I’ve made it quite clear to him that I get paid shit and am always strapped for cash. He is a smart guy but doesn’t ever put the pieces together to conclude that I am poor and a lot of times that’s why I don’t do fun things on the weekend. I just think if I heard my roommate getting excited about the fact that she only had to spend $12 on her entire weeks groceries because she shopped at Aldi where the primary method of payment is food stamps I would maybe reconsider making her feel obligated to attend one of the following events that I had planned this month:

Football game weekend away: $200
My Birthday Night: $200
Concert: $100

That’s right, this month alone, Anth has planned these 3 expensive endeavors and made me feel obligated to attend them all. I agreed to do the football game weekend away quite some time ago so I should’ve known better. But for his birthday he wants to go to a sporting event which will cost $85 for the ticket and probably at least $100 in food and drinks per person if not more. Then he says for our roommate Christmas celebration he wants to go to a concert and the tickets for that are like $60 a piece plus food and drinks. That I already declined.  If he wants to do a roommate Christmas we can make cookies, drink egg nog, and put up my Christmas tree all for under $10, all while listening to the Biebs new Christmas album.  Today is the day people!

So Sunday night when I got home he tells me he hired a cleaning lady for his birthday, and I can just pitch in on that if I want. I don’t want. I don’t want! I just kind of brushed it off thinking he’d never get a dime out of me for that.

So Monday I’m at work, slaving away, when I see a chase quickpay email come through. Anth is requesting Doogie and I to pay him our monthly bills. Then I see an added note: “Oct Bills – added in the apartment cleaning …just return my bday present” WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I don’t know if you recall, but Anth and I have had several arguments about hiring a cleaning lady. My main argument for not wanting to hire one:

Because I clean. I clean all the fucking time. I cleaned that fucking house from top to bottom and spent countless hours scrubbing the stove and vacuuming the stairs with a hand held vacuum so that it would be clean when Lucky came to visit and his friend’s bachelor party trashed it again. I did the same thing when my mom and sister came to visit, and when my dad came to visit, and when Gigi came to visit, and when Deena came to visit, and when Betty came to visit, and when Jess came to visit, and a few other times just because I was sick of looking at the mess. So that’s probably at least 10 (10 x $99 a pop, looks like someone owes me some fucking money) times I have cleaned that place really well in the 9 months that I’ve lived there. I’ve argued that if they would clean too we wouldn’t need a cleaning lady, but I personally can’t keep up with a mess 3+ people make on my own, nor do I want to, so yeah the place still looks trashed all the time.

Lucky can vouch for the fact that one weekend just before she came to visit Anth had told me that we were having a cleaning session. Which I wasn’t going to be around for and told them to have at it because I’ve done my fair share already. I was driving back from home talking on the phone with Lucky telling her how excited I was that they were going to clean. And how pissed I was going to be if they didn’t. They didn’t. And it was the first thing I said when I walked in the door, “Looks real clean in here guys.” I wouldn’t have expected it if Anth hadn’t made such a big deal about us all getting anything we had laying around (which was nothing for me, again because I’m clean) in the living room and kitchen picked up before they started in on mission clean house. Lucky even said something to him about how they didn’t clean for me, and his response wasn’t like yeah we should have helped her out, it was about how now he knows all the stuff I say to Lucky behind their backs. Granted it was in jest, but still.

Anth’s argument was that if he OWNED the place he would clean it. Which is a crock of shit, whether you own it or not you still shouldn’t be ok with living in filth. His mommy probably cleaned up after him his whole life, then he lived in a frat house and had pledges to clean up after him, and now he lives on his own and has no one to clean up after him every day and his place is trashed – because of him, and he’s just waiting around to get married so that girl can clean up after him. And he has the audacity to expect his roommates to not only fork out $200+ for a night out for his birthday but another $35 to get the apartment cleaned without asking us before he bought it? Oh well sure, I mean we’re all just shitting out dollar bills so what’s the big deal?

I am really fucking pissed off about this. So I texted him:

Me: Exactly how much is this “apartment cleaning”?
Anth: $33
Me: Each?
Anth: Yes
Me: Alright, well if we’re doing that then I can’t come to your birthday or the weekend away. I don’t have money this month for unplanned stuff. (I already told him I wasn’t coming to his birthday after he called me fat last week. Yep, that happened.)
Anth: Just subtract it out of the bills.

That’s right, asshole. At first I felt bad for being a cheapskate over $33. But it’s the truth, I really won’t have the extra money this month to spend on a maid, nor do I want to spend $33 on a maid – that’s like almost a full tank of gas for me. I’m going to have to dip into my savings this month anyway because not only am I doing all of this stuff at Anth’s request but I’m also trying to get all of my Christmas shopping done so I’m not running around like a mad woman a week before I leave for Hawaii.

 I don’t expect (or want) the maid clean my room or bathroom when she does come, mostly because they will already be clean. The first time we had the argument he said, “But the maid like comes into your room and washes all your stuff. Like the pictures and the top of the dresser.” Oh you mean like dusting?! I do that on my own and it takes 5 minutes. Get your head out of your ass and stop being so lazy. It also kind of pisses me off that he thinks it’s totally fair to ask me to pay for a maid knowing how often I clean that place. If you ask me, they should get it FOR ME as a gift. And be like, “Here Gizzy, we got a maid so you can take some time off from cleaning up after us, we know we’re slobs and we’re sorry.” But no, Anth expects it to be a gift to him.  Selfish asshole.

The thing is, Doogie really isn’t a slob. He’s hardly ever there and maybe doesn’t wipe off the counter if he gets crumbs on it, but that’s only because there’s already a layer cake of crumbs that Anth has left behind. Anth is the one that’s truly messy and always blames it on whoever isn’t around.

Doogie and I were both gone all weekend leaving Anth to sit in his own filth and it still didn’t occur to him that he’s the one creating the mess, even after there were no dishes in the sink and now it’s full. Like you really think we sent along the dirty dish fairy to come dirty up all the dishes while you were asleep? God help him if he tries to argue with me about paying for a fucking maid. It will not be pretty.


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