Tag Archives: cocktails

I HAD A DATE!

Yes, you read that correctly! I went on a date—a BLIND date—Friday.

Since dating D, I’ve only been on one date…and it wasn’t so great (not horrible, but we didn’t go on a second date).

While I’m not in a mind-space of thinking that I necessarily need a boyfriend, I am starting to get bored with myself. Like GOD, can I just leave the apartment once in awhile? Or go and get dressed up for drinks, or something?

So, I jumped at the chance when one of my girlfriends from college sent me a text saying she had a friend she thought I’d be compatible with. I trust her, and she’s got great taste…besides, I had nothing to lose, so I told her, yes I was down for it.

I didn’t really think it was going to happen—not saying she’s a flake by any means, I just didn’t know how serious she, or this guy, was. But about a week later, he sent me his name and asked me out for dinner and drinks via text.

It took everything I had not to Google him; I wanted to go in totally blind. However, I gave Gizzy his name and had HER Google him and just tell me if she saw any red flags right off the bat. She didn’t, so I was glad.

So, Friday, he offered to pick me up and take us downtown to a nice wine bar. When I saw him, in the street, I was pleasantly surprised. He was fit, clean cut, dressed in a button-down shirt, with a small tattoo near his wrist.

We walked a ways and started talking, as we headed toward his car. He opened my car door.

At the wine bar, we both got wine flights, tasted each other’s wine picks, ate some food, and talked. A lot. And I shit you not, he told me I was gorgeous, and that he was surprised our mutual friend didn’t mention how “lovely” I was.

I was nearly blushing—no one has ever said those things to me.

Around midnight, we went for a walk downtown, and found a small, quiet bar to keep talking and get a few more beers. Turns out, we have quite a bit of things in common.

When the bar closed, he took me home, walked me to my door, and gave me a kiss. It was very sweet.

When I got into bed, he’d sent me a text: “Thank you so much for the company tonight. You were more incredible than I imagined. Goodnight and sweet dreams!”

He called me last night, and asked me for a second date this Friday—we are going to a rooftop sushi place. I’m pretty excited, and of course, I’ll keep you posted!

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This is what I decided…

Alright, soooo last week I filled y’all in on the trials and tribulations of my job.

This is what I decided.

For now, I’m going to hold off on making some giant, ta-da plan, and just hunker down and hunt for new jobs. Because, sometimes, a problem just isn’t worth fixing.

So, yesterday I updated my resume. And today, I applied for two jobs that both look pretty cool. And you know what? I feel really good about that decision, because today has been a real shit hole in the office.

Of course, it’s Monday, so there’s that. Then, I’m getting some serious work done, and that whole memo thing starts where one person calls me, tells me something to do, I do it, then someone comes in my office and tells me to do the exact same thing, and then I get an email an hour later saying, nevermind.

graaarrrrrr.

Meanwhile, I’ve been watching old episodes of MTV’s Life of Ryan while I do my work—it really makes the day more pleasant.

Anyway, enough about that.

While I didn’t do anything festive on Easter, I was generally just really happy to be relaxing, in my bed, watching DVDs of Sex and The City, because last year on Easter, my then-boyfriend was cheating on me.

I’m just so happy that I’m not in that situation, and that I’ve moved on.

Anyway, that’s all for now…

 

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BACK!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys!

If you’re still reading this blog, THANK YOU. Once again, I apologize that we have gone missing. We are both still alive!!

I feel like everything has happened since 2014 even started, and then when I sit down to write about it, I don’t even know where to start or what to say.

Truthfully, the reason for me not blogging lately is because I’ve just been SOOOO busy. And no, I don’t mean that in the sense of, omg I’m so busy and I’m so kewl.

I mean that in, I have been working my ass off. I’m lucky (heh heh) if I get a few hours of sleep each night.

So, I suppose I’ll just start with that.

Remember Fatso? My coworker? Well, when I came back to work after the holiday break, he got fired. Seriously. The DAY we got back from a 2-week break, he was fired. Like I was here, in my office, and he got fired.

Okay, you get the point.

Well, I was kind of shocked and not surprised all at once, because, let’s face it, he was a little crazy.

But at the same time, stuff changed IMMEDIATELY. Not only was the energy in the office different, but our web team of 5 was knocked down to 4. One of those workers being a temp, so in March our team of 4 became 3.

And while that sounds exciting, guess who has been picking up the slack? THIS MOTHER FUCK.

Did I get a raise? Nope.

The part of Fatso’s job that I’m covering (and have been covering for 4 months) is a giant social media job that pretty much never stops.

I’m not going to lie to you, I have a little more respect for the guy now that I’m doing his dirty work.

And so, not only did the work at my day job pick up, but I’ve still had to maintain my busy freelance schedule so I can ay my bills and occasionally pay for some fun stuff.

So, things have been rough, to say the least.

But, I’m currently working on a plan to present to my boss to see if I can get a raise, therefore lowering some of my freelance workload. Has anyone out there ever done that?

I need all of the help, advice, and encouragement I can get.

HELP.

I promise, I’ll talk to you guys soon!!!

xoxo

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Songs I’m obsessed with right now.

1. White Walls by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

2. Royals by Lorde

3. Dear Marie by John Mayer

4. Crooked Smile by J Cole featuring TLC

5. Give it 2 U by Robin Thicke with 2 Chainz

6. Body Party by Ciara

7. Love More by Chris Brown, featuring Nicki Minaj

8. Wait A Minute by Justin Bieber, featuring Tyga

9. Dark Horse by Katy Perry, featuring Juicy J

10. Bass Down Low by DEV, featuring The Cataracs

Those are my JAMS right now! What songs are you dancing to?

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I signed up for Match.com

After weeks of consideration, I made a profile on Match.com.

I know it’s really soon after my relationship with D, but I feel like getting out there, meeting new people, and going on dates will be good for me.

I don’t know if any of you are familiar with Match, but there’s a few steps you can take before you have to pay/subscribe.

So I filled out some of a profile, added a few photos, took a “quiz” about the type of guy I was looking for, and then my initial “matches” appeared…

Talk about WOOF.

It was dozens of guys I’m NOT interested in.

However, I kept looking and after getting through only 25 pages (I have 1500 matches), I’ve got 2 guys that are handsome, seem legit & interesting…I consider that a major score.

I’ve been signed up for less that 24-hours and my profile has already been viewed more than 160 times, I’ve gotten 11 “winks,” and 7 emails.

Talk about an ego boost.

Anyway, I am still perfecting my profile and learning how to navigate this world of online dating. But while I wait, it’s always good to get a few laughs—and it’s from the things people put on their profiles… Please enjoy:

  • I want you to know that I know all the lyrics to “The Humpty Dance” by the Digital Underground. (And I didn’t realize that Shock G and Humpty were the same person until like three years ago.
  • Just looking for someone normal that does not do drugs
  • I am ready to settle down, but not looking to rush things. I took a little sabbatical from dating, actually a long one, and I’m ready to put myself back out there
  • I like red heads there cool and dogs are gross so no dog owners but if you have a cat I really like cats so that’s cool.
  • This is my second run on match.com. I have not been on here in close to 2 years.
  • Of course a person is going to boast about their strengths and down play their weaknesses. Well let me join the crowd!
  • Well, my fun days are over and I am looking for something serious if possible.
  • I have 25 pictures of Danny Glover saved on my phone just incase I will ever need them.
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‘I think I made a huge mistake’

That’s what D’s text said Wednesday morning at 12:46 am.

HA. HA. HA.

I just had to laugh when I saw it…

Let’s dissect.

First of all, YOU THINK??!!!

No, asshole, you DID make a huge mistake.

Second of all, AN huge mistake, as in one?

No, you made many, several, a lot of huge mistakes.

After I got over my initial laugh, I thought, “WOW, good tactic.”

The message is so vague it almost demands a response—is he referring to letting me go? The drinking? The arrest? Something that happened 5 minutes prior?—I will never know because I didn’t reply.

I really wasn’t tempted to. He obviously wants to continue these games, but I refuse to lock myself in that emotional hell.

Today, I feel free.

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Current state of…things.

I am alive after what was a great and awful weekend all at once.

Last week in general was rough. While I am going through the motions of getting my life back in order, my mind is still very caught up in D drama and my heart is still in pain.

D and I tried to plan a friendship-family night a few weeks ago and he cancelled last-minute, and I felt played. Since then, we’ve done nothing but fight; he says he loves and misses me, but then doesn’t reply my messages, or make attempts to see me.

I finally had a break down Wednesday at work; crying in the women’s bathroom and decided that I just needed to cut him out of my life. So I sent him a text asking him to come pick up his TV Friday.

The TV was his last item at my house; after he picked it up, there’d be no real reason for us to talk again. He agreed to pick it up Friday, so Friday morning (complete with a hangover) I dragged the near-60-inch flat screen into the hallway of my complex, threw a towel over it and sent him a text, “TV is ready for pickup” at 7:06 a.m.

Just as I expected, he replied to my message at 1:15 pm, saying “Can’t make it today.”

Little did he know that I’d already planned on him saying that, so my plan was to put the TV back in my apartment, keep it, and never talk to him again.

That’s exactly what I did. I didn’t reply to his message and I haven’t heard from him since.

It’s been 3 days—the longest time we’ve gone without talking to each other in 5 months—and I’m experiencing a range of emotions.

I had prepped myself for a weekend of drama; expecting D to send me rude texts, perhaps even show up at my door in the wee hours of the morning, blood pumping with alcohol.

But to my shock, not a peep.

Despite the silence, I hardly slept all weekend, and took out my frustrations on bowling and scrubbing my tub.

In unrelated news, I’ve got a massive crush on the new trainer, CJ, at our gym. All I can say is that he has really large muscles and that in my head we are already married and things are just perfect…

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Remember Jesus Belt? He’s baaaaack.

Well kind of.

If you’re a long-time reader, you’ll remember Jesus Belt (JB) as my old editor for the magazine. I started off hating him, then developed some weird type of crush on him, then ended up getting some amazing oral sex from him during his “break” from a girlfriend.

That is all you need to know.

Occasionally, he will text me to see what I’m up to and how I’m doing—he still works at the magazine, but lives many states away…and still has that stupid girlfriend.

In late January, he texted me because he had had a dream about me. In it, he said, I was wearing a red, formal evening gown, and I was standing among the ashes of a burned building.

To his defense, he was on pain killers.

Yesterday morning, this conversation happened via text message:

JB: Oh, my, god. Every once in a while, you surface in a dream, and it’s just great. Don’t mean it to be creepy, but as a compliment (just woke up from it).

ME: Ha! Were you on pain killers this time?!

JB: Nope! I didn’t even drink last night.

ME: Wow! So what happened this time?

JB: I bet it’s because we only fooled around such a limited amount, and my poor brain is rebelling against the limitations of our experience…Lucky! It was rather graphic; not sure I could just text it all out…combo of the real first night, and then a bit more, a fabrication in-line with what I would’ve liked but never got.

ME: haha, you make me laugh.

JB: Laugh it up, Lucky. I should write it out as well. I can keep it for a bit. Maybe I’ll do that to get myself into the days’ writing.

ME: I’m really glad I make such an impression in your dreams!

JB: I’m glad, too.

ME: You should write it out and send it to me, anonymously.

JB: I’m only pretending to be sensitive. What! You’ll know it was me!

ME: Well yeah, but you’re so bashful about it.

JB: I can do that but I’m not sure I’m interested in a mere one-time exchange…

ME: You want to be pen pals?

JB: Jesus, how are you? I sure hope I didn’t cold text you in the middle of some kind of travesty, all excited about my randy dreams… I’m interested. Fair is fair, is all I’m saying.

ME: No travesty here! I am just sitting at my desk at my lame day job.

JB. Jesus! Well, then…surrounded by co-workers, I’m sure?

ME: No, I have my own office.

JB: Ohhkay! I need to shake off my weirdness and go to work, I suppose. But you ought to Facebook me your address, if you want to receive a note sometime.

ME: I will.

JB: Lets chat more soon; I should get up and get moving. Oh, thanks for the delicious intrusions, Lucky!

ME: You are welcome!

JB: I hope writing it out doesn’t remove it from whatever part of my brain keeps gifting me with it; much of it this morning was just crystal clear: the lightly beaded sweat on the inside of your thighs, your soft little moan, the insistent movements of your hips as you thrust yourself up against my tongue…

ME: Damn. I’ve heard dreams are just random thoughts in your brain…

JB: I don’t think they are ‘random.’ It’s your mind’s relief valve…doesn’t mean you’ll always get what you’d expect to have under pressure, but you’ll get something.

ME: That makes sense.

JB: I probably read your status update a week ago, looked at a few photos like a creep, and then this morning, right before I woke up…there you were.

ME: Oh yeah, I’m sure I looked really hot in my Justin Bieber t-shirt.

JB: Not sure I saw that one.

ME: Don’t look at it.

JB: I wrote a lot last night, wonder if that had some effect.

ME: Wrote about what?

JB: Ha! The healing characteristics of charcoal, and how to make it in the wilderness.

ME: That wasn’t it!

JB: Perhaps you don’t give full credit to the strangeness of the brain. I spent some of that time listening to an interview with Ernest Hemmingway in Spanish, and some part of that time in rage, castigating myself for abandoning so much that’s been important to me, regretful of these last years of editing over writing, management over art…it may be hard for you to see any doors whereby you could slink into my brain within those context, but I’m not surprised.

ME: Now it gets interesting.

JB: God only knows what I’ve assigned you, or even merely the feminine of you, the sweet-smelling distillate of Lucky…the one that got away? One I was too stupid to pursue? The possibilities are endless, as far as your subconscious.

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Part three: The final straw.

You are all probably wondering why there is even a part three; believe me, I was very frustrated, scared, and upset at this point. But I didn’t want to give up.

Even my cynical heart had hope that things would turn around and we could go on like this didn’t happen. But in the weeks following the bar fight, we were very distant.

I built walls around me, just waiting for that third thing to happen when I would say, “That’s it! I’m out of here.”

It happened on a Wenesday night… or rather, a Thursday morning at 4 am. D was texting me, drunk. Actually, he was wasted—most of the texts were just random letters, like he was slamming his fingers down on his phone and sending them to me.

Some words I could read, like him telling me he was going to go back to “someone else.”

That was it. He was drunk again, and now telling me he was going to cheat. Two things I absolutely cannot and will not tolerate.

I replied and told him it was over.

He continued to text me passive aggressive bullshit, but I turned off my phone and tried to get some sleep.

The next morning, D sent me a message saying he couldn’t do this anymore. I took it as him trying to turn the tables and break up with me, but I told him it was already over. Later, he explained that he just meant the crazy drinking, but it doesn’t ultimately matter. It was over.

D is an alcoholic.

When I tell people that, most of them just say, “Well yeah he works in the service industry,” but it’s not that. Alcoholics aren’t just people who like to drink; they have a very serious problem.

It broke my heart to have to let D go… but I know I must make a better life for myself. I have no fucking clue how I keep finding myself in these situations—never ever ever in my darkest nightmares did I think I would be dating a guy like this.

The day after we broke up, I had my locks changed as D had a key to my place. I didn’t think he’d even try to come over, but I’m going out of town soon and didn’t want to take any chances.

That Saturday morning, I woke up at 5 am to pounding on my door. D was outside, drunk, with a styrofoam cup of Crown in his hand.

I am still so very heartbroken. As pathetic as it may sounds, I just want one of these relationships to work. I want to be loved.

I hope that D gets the professional help he needs before something else terrible happens. But I cannot rescue him, help him, or stand by and watch as things unfold anymore.

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Part two: the bar fight.

After getting the DWI, D was terrified he would lose his job. After all, he’d been drinking while on the job and he was driving home when he got pulled over for swerving all over the roads.

But when he got to work, they told him the entire thing was bullshit, and not to worry, because they would hire him the best DWI attorney in the state. When D told me this, I was extremely concerned. He was getting a free ride and wasn’t going to learn the lesson I’d hoped.

I told D I was really concerned and I didn’t know if I could handle our relationship if the drunken drama continued. I was worried for him and for us. He promised me he would cut back on drinking.

For about two weeks, he did.

One Sunday after work, D invited me to come over.

“Oh by the way, Hunter hit my truck,” he texted me before I arrived.

When I got to D’s house, Hunter (a waiter at the restaurant) was sitting on the patio, hammered. D was drinking Crown from a styrofoam cup.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

According to the guys, D had had two cocktails at work and was afraid to drive home, so he asked Hunter to follow him. Hunter, being too drunk to drive, swerved off the road, over-corrected, and hit D’s truck.

“What happened to not drinking and driving?” I asked.

“I had two drinks and, believe me, I was scared to,” D said.

I was pissed. Here we were, two weeks out from an arrest, and he was drinking and driving again. I left and went home.

The next day, a Monday, D was heading an hour away to a second restaurant location. He was joining a server, the other manager and the chef to see if this server (Bobby) wanted to come on as a manager. Bobby drove them, they ate a free meal, I’m assuming they had lots of drinks, and left.

Around 1:30 a.m., D calls me, excited to tell me that him and Bobby got in a fight and roughed up about 9 other guys.

According to D, him and Bobby left the restaurant and it was Bobby’s idea to step into a nearby bar where they saw an Arabic man sitting alone. Because Bobby and D both know Arabic (a fact I didn’t know), they decided to talk to him.

Again, according to D, they didn’t say anything offensive, and out of nowhere this guy pulls a knife out and holds it up to D’s neck. D then flipped him over the table, causing a group of other guys running to the scene and joining in.

D and Bobby were kicked out of the bar, and D was trying to tell me just how “cool” it was when he flipped this guy over the table.

I told him I didn’t think it was cool at all, that it was actually quite trashy, and he didn’t need to be out getting in fights. He is a dad and was just arrested two weeks before.

D was drunk, at a Waffle House, and couldn’t even tell me what city he was in. I told him we needed to have a serious talk later and hung up.

The next day, I told D that the only thing I could think to say or do was to give him an ultimatum. Any more drunken antics and I was out. He said he didn’t want to lose me and that was that.

That night, D got a call from the owner of his restaurant. The Arabic guy came into the restaurant and filed a complaint against D and Tommy. The shopping center threatened to close down the restaurant. D’s job was on the line…

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