Tag Archives: dating

14. List your secret behaviors.

LUCKY
  1. Eating whatever I want/weird foods. Since I am single and live alone, I can eat whatever I want. Marshmallows with peanut butter? Yep. Chips and dip for dinner? Sure. I usually eat pretty healthy, so most of the time I’m just thankful that no one is around to see my boring meals (last night I had turkey cutlets and butternut squash).
  2. Wearing no pants. My fuck buddy knows this about me, but that’s about it. When I’m at home, it’s pants off, dance off.
  3. Dance parties/concerts for Blanche. It is not a rare day when I turn on some tunes, grab the broom and lip sync my ass off, complete with dance moves. I sometimes even give shout outs to no one, “This song is dedicated to…” Yeah. That’s real.

GIZZY

Who’s scared to read this after yesterday’s confession? Bwhahaha.

  1. Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show in my every day life.
  2. I like to watch videos of my celebrity crushes before I go to bed so I have dreams of hanging out with them.
  3. My dog and I do a choreographed dance number every day when I get home from work. Ok, I dance and he jumps around following me.

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

11.Describe what you think your life will be like in 5,10 & 20 years.

LUCKY

GAH. This is so scary to me.

Part of me feels like so much happens in a year, so it’s so difficult to predict, but then again, I’ve had my same job for close to 6 years (wow, that was hard to type) and I’m still single after 12 years of dating, so…

In five years, I’d say it’s still possibly likely that I’ll be at this job because I have very little motivation. Perhaps I’ll live in a different place, have different friends, maybe I’ll meet a guy (ha. ha. ha.), but I don’t see any DRASTIC changes…

Ten years? Shit. I hope I’m not still single. I hope I’m not still living in the same spot…and DAMN I hope I’m not doing the exact same job.

In Twenty years…I don’t even know. I hope I’m a little more stable all around. I hope my finances are in order and I hope I’m happy with whatever my life brings. That’s my wish always; that I can be happy and satisfied in my own skin, doing whatever it is I’m doing.

GIZZY

This is going to be a giant list of how I HOPE my life is in 5, 10, and 20 years. With a small bit of actual reality mixed in.

In 5 years I will be 33, which isn’t THAT scary of an age. But I will say that I know I will have more money because all my student loans will be paid off, and my car will be paid off (unless I wreck it and have to buy a new one, knock on wood).  So I am actually kind of looking forward to 5 years from now because it’ll be nice to have more disposable income. I would like to think that I’ll have found a nice well rounded guy that is hot and doesn’t look at or think about other women (ie Zac Efron. P.s. Zac, call me! ;)). I’m starting to job hunt now in a city across the country that I love and have have always wanted to live in. So hopefully I’ll have made that happen by then.  But I would really like to think I won’t still be doing accounting/finance stuff, and I’ll have found my true passion and be working toward new goals in that.

In 10 years I will be 38, which is scary because that’s almost 40. If I’m going to have kids I should have had them by this point, so I think my life will be busied by work during the day and taking care of kids and (hopefully) a husband in the evenings.

In 20 years I’ll be 48. That is fucking scary to think about. That means my Mom will be 71 and my Dad 73, and I don’t like the thought of them getting into their 70s and 80s because that’s when most people die. So I’m not going to think about it, I’m just going to say that since I’m the bomb.com, I will be retired and vacationing all over the World.  With my husband Zac Efron.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10. What’s something you’ve learned about yourself this year?

SORRY GUYS! I dropped the ball and forgot about day 10. Please forgive me.

LUCKY

Every year around this time, like most people I’m sure, I think about the year gone by. And each year, I think, “Wow, this year has really been tough.”

And it’s true, I’ve been through a lot these past few years, and this year is no different. But I’m actually starting to realize just how STRONG I am. I made it through a really, really tough relationship that could’ve changed the course of my life forever if I didn’t get out.

But I’m out, and even though I am still healing from it, I know things are getting better.

The other part of this question is things we’re still learning about ourselves…and one thing I’m still learning and working on is being non-judgmental. For the most part, I am free of judgment, but I know it creeps up sometimes, and it’s really something I’m working on.

GIZZY

I’ve learned that at this juncture in my life I’m a better me when I’m alone.  And by alone I mean boyfriend/crushless. Since I started high school I have always had a guy, a guy that I liked, a guy I was dating, sometimes multiple guys. In high school I felt like I kind of had my pick of any guy I wanted, and I called the shots. I didn’t care about what my boyfriends were doing, who they were talking to, and shitty things they did didn’t upset me because I didn’t tolerate it.  I knew that I was the shit and that I treated them well and they couldn’t find better. So if they did something shitty I dumped them on the spot and moved on to the next guy.  In college those waters started to get murky because I didn’t have my pick of any guy which made me care more/obsess about the guys that I did date, mostly over their every move thinking they were all cheating on me (I was right, they were!). But the last few years I’ve missed the carefree girl that did whatever she wanted with no regard to someone who didn’t treat her right and I feel like this year I’ve started to get that piece of me back.  I finally “learned” that the adult me is just as awesome.  I also learned that not giving a fuck is way easier than giving a fuck about people that treat you badly.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

8. What’s a talent or superpower you wish you had and why?

I’ve always, ALWAYS wished that I could be invisible so I could spy on people…I don’t care if you all finally realize how nosey I am! I want to be Alex Mac, minus the whole silver puddle thing.

I thought about being invisible too, for the exact same reason as Lucky. But I think I would love to be able to fly because I’m scared of flying on planes so I think I would be less scared of dying this way. Also I want to be able to see the World! I’m a cheeseball, I know.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

7. Describe your perfect man/woman.

These are all so HARD.

Ever since all of the stuff with D, I feel really defeated in love.

I used to have this list of all these things I wanted in a man. And sometimes, I’ve gotten some of the things on that long list. But no matter who or what, that guy turns out to be an asshole. And now I’m in this place where I associate all of those good qualities I once wanted, with the bad ones that I got.

Like, yeah he looked great in a baseball hat…but he was controlling.

Hrmph.

So…my dream guy…looks like Zac Efron…smells like Abercrombie (or anything mountain-lodgey)…is sweet to me… thinks I’m awesome… tells me I’m beautiful… is funny… smart… honest… doesn’t lie to me or cheat on me… actually he pretty much is Zac Efron’s character in the Lucky One, okay, I said it.

The older I get and the more single I become the more convoluted my fantasy man becomes. Right now I’d like it to be a mix between Zac Efron, Bruno Mars, Ryan Gosling, and Harry Styles. A little piece of each of them.

I’d like everything about Zac Efron, his face, his abs, his penis (assuming it’s big, but not too big, the perfect peen). Bruno Mars’ personality, sense of humor, and voice. Bruno’s sense of humor is kind of he doesn’t take life too seriously and can make fun of himself, and I really love it and that’s what makes him so attractive to me. Any trait the guy could get from Ryan Gosling would be fine, because the man is perfect. Harry Styles’ humbleness and it would be ok if the guy looked like him a little too. 

On a non-celebrity level I really just want someone who is honest. In all of my relationships that has been the one thing that has always been missing.  Guys are either not honest about where they’ve been/who they’ve been talking to or aren’t honest about their feelings and what they want, and right now that’s at the top of my list. Right below that is someone who is fun/funny and not a serious Debbie Downer.  It’s pretty rare for me to be in a bad mood or to be super serious about anything at all. I laugh at everything, so I really want someone who just has fun all of the time in any situation.  Someone who can take a joke and can dish them right back out would fit right in with me.  I’d also like to find a guy who is secure and confident with who he is.  The more I date the more I realize guys are way more insecure than girls, and it’s a huge buzzkill. Any guys that want to date me I really just need 3 things – be hot as fuck, funny, and honest. If I can find a guy like that I’m confident we will have a lifetime of happiness and really attractive children.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Gizzy’s Diary – Entry 1

Dear Diary,

This week has been mediocre, as is my life.  I accepted the role of ‘guinea pig’ for my team’s Halloween costume at work.  Meaning, I got to bring all the supplies home, make the costume, and then had to instruct everyone at work on how to make it.  They called me Miss Gizzy, and it felt good.  However, applying 2 layers of paper mache to a beach ball did not feel good.   In fact, it made me feel really fucking gross because the “paste” is made out of flour and water and when I went outside to walk the dog, my neighbor asked if I was aware that I had biscuit in my hair. I wanted to ask if he was aware that he should shut the fuck up, but be proud, Diary, I did not.

Last weekend I went to visit Gigi.  We threw ourselves a “I’m not getting married” Bachelorette party, which was fun because we got free drinks and negative attention, but ended in Gigi getting flowers from a guy that hit on me. I won’t even elaborate because I’m still pissed at that flower stealing whore face.

Earlier this week I threw 2 tantrums in public. Both over spaghetti squash, or rather the lack there of. I mean, I don’t live on fucking Antarctica. Can I not expect my local grocer to carry a common food item such as that? According to Walmart Manager Billy, I cannot.

Thanks for listening, Diary.

Love,

Your BFF, Gizzy<3

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Time to lay on the couch.

Tomorrow, I meet with my therapist (Lopez) for the first time in a month.

He’s been trying to push my appointments back to once a month, but I protested, until now—I felt like things were going pretty good.

And I would say, for the most part, things are pretty good.

You might recall my post last week, which was basically a list of successes I’ve encountered just in the last month. Really exciting!

But over this last year, I’ve found that in moments of success like that, sometimes it’s even more difficult for me to put on a happy face.

I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’ve got one theory.

I feel like I get so excited over these personal victories, but then my high comes crashing to a halt when I realize I’ve got no one to share my success with.

Okay, maybe that’s a little bit dramatic.

I do have good friends.

But I don’t have that guy…you know; the one who’s going to come see me succeed, cheer me on, and tell me how proud of me he is.

Am I pathetic for wanting that?

Over the weekend, I was asked to participate in a literature event; where I would sell books, do an interview, and a reading.

Wow… that’s been one of my biggest dreams for almost 10 years.

I was giddy. And I pictured myself there. And it was amazing.

And then I pictured the event being over, and me, alone, packing up my things and driving home to Blanche, my cat, then me eating leftovers, and crawling into bed by myself.

Sad.

I know these things take time, and I know, I’ve been through a FUCK TON this year. My emotions are certainly changing every single day.

But I’m just ready for things to be even keel. I’m ready for things to be okay again.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,