Tag Archives: douchebag

This is what I decided…

Alright, soooo last week I filled y’all in on the trials and tribulations of my job.

This is what I decided.

For now, I’m going to hold off on making some giant, ta-da plan, and just hunker down and hunt for new jobs. Because, sometimes, a problem just isn’t worth fixing.

So, yesterday I updated my resume. And today, I applied for two jobs that both look pretty cool. And you know what? I feel really good about that decision, because today has been a real shit hole in the office.

Of course, it’s Monday, so there’s that. Then, I’m getting some serious work done, and that whole memo thing starts where one person calls me, tells me something to do, I do it, then someone comes in my office and tells me to do the exact same thing, and then I get an email an hour later saying, nevermind.

graaarrrrrr.

Meanwhile, I’ve been watching old episodes of MTV’s Life of Ryan while I do my work—it really makes the day more pleasant.

Anyway, enough about that.

While I didn’t do anything festive on Easter, I was generally just really happy to be relaxing, in my bed, watching DVDs of Sex and The City, because last year on Easter, my then-boyfriend was cheating on me.

I’m just so happy that I’m not in that situation, and that I’ve moved on.

Anyway, that’s all for now…

 

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Why am I being punished?

Hey guys!!

I’m sorry it’s been forever—I have SO much to tell you & I promise, there is REASON for me not being around to tell y’all about my exciting life. However, we’ll get to that on a rainy day. Today, I’ve got a little story for you and I hope you’ll weigh in.

Exactly one week ago, I was a guest on my friend’s video podcast. It was a short 40-minute live comedy act and it was pretty funny. The audience was mostly men, and as soon as the show went off-air, some of these guys were texting my friend wanting to know who I was and if I was single.

Oooohhhh heeeeeyyy!!

So one of these guys, we’ll call him MAP, sends me a message on Facebook and after a few exchanges, he asks me for my number. We text a little more and then he asks me if I want to get a simple drink on Friday (yes, Valentine’s Day).

I say yes, and I was pretty excited about it.

At first, I got the vibe that this guy was genuine, nice, he has a good job, owns a condo, has a car, has a degree, is involved in a softball team, has a podcast…

Overall, I was thinking, “Hey, this guy has a life,” which is pretty attractive to me, because I’ve got a lot going on, too.

So, we meet up for drinks, and he orders a nice scotch, I got a vodka. We talked about work, our friends, things like that, but I noticed that he kept talking about his “Budget.”

Now, let’s get this straight. I, too, am on a budget. I get it. And I am NOT looking for someone who is going to swoop in and solve my money problems. However, my money issues are not something I talk about with people I’ve just met.

He was mentioning it so much, that I felt like I should pick up the tab.

So we have two drinks and leave the bar. He walks me to my door, and he goes in for the kiss, and he was holding me so tight I almost fell over. And the kiss… was very forced. Like there were (was?) teeth and tongue and I opened my eyes once because I was trying to pull away.

I went to my apartment with mixed feelings. He seemed nice, like a guy who’s got it all together, but that kiss was horrible…

However, he asked me if i wanted to hang out again and I said sure.

But since then, he’s been texting NON STOP.

Like, we’re talking, he texts me so often, I don’t even have time to answer the questions he is asking me. Sometimes, in a text, he will even ask me what time he should text me.

I don’t know what to do… I feel bad, but we’ve only been on one date and I am already feeling so smothered.

It’s one thing if we have lots to talk about, but it’s another thing, if it’s forced, and I feel like asking me questions like, “What are you having for lunch?” “What’s your political stance?” “Can you do any impressions?” is forced conversations.

Am I horrible? HELP.

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I signed up for Match.com

After weeks of consideration, I made a profile on Match.com.

I know it’s really soon after my relationship with D, but I feel like getting out there, meeting new people, and going on dates will be good for me.

I don’t know if any of you are familiar with Match, but there’s a few steps you can take before you have to pay/subscribe.

So I filled out some of a profile, added a few photos, took a “quiz” about the type of guy I was looking for, and then my initial “matches” appeared…

Talk about WOOF.

It was dozens of guys I’m NOT interested in.

However, I kept looking and after getting through only 25 pages (I have 1500 matches), I’ve got 2 guys that are handsome, seem legit & interesting…I consider that a major score.

I’ve been signed up for less that 24-hours and my profile has already been viewed more than 160 times, I’ve gotten 11 “winks,” and 7 emails.

Talk about an ego boost.

Anyway, I am still perfecting my profile and learning how to navigate this world of online dating. But while I wait, it’s always good to get a few laughs—and it’s from the things people put on their profiles… Please enjoy:

  • I want you to know that I know all the lyrics to “The Humpty Dance” by the Digital Underground. (And I didn’t realize that Shock G and Humpty were the same person until like three years ago.
  • Just looking for someone normal that does not do drugs
  • I am ready to settle down, but not looking to rush things. I took a little sabbatical from dating, actually a long one, and I’m ready to put myself back out there
  • I like red heads there cool and dogs are gross so no dog owners but if you have a cat I really like cats so that’s cool.
  • This is my second run on match.com. I have not been on here in close to 2 years.
  • Of course a person is going to boast about their strengths and down play their weaknesses. Well let me join the crowd!
  • Well, my fun days are over and I am looking for something serious if possible.
  • I have 25 pictures of Danny Glover saved on my phone just incase I will ever need them.
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‘I think I made a huge mistake’

That’s what D’s text said Wednesday morning at 12:46 am.

HA. HA. HA.

I just had to laugh when I saw it…

Let’s dissect.

First of all, YOU THINK??!!!

No, asshole, you DID make a huge mistake.

Second of all, AN huge mistake, as in one?

No, you made many, several, a lot of huge mistakes.

After I got over my initial laugh, I thought, “WOW, good tactic.”

The message is so vague it almost demands a response—is he referring to letting me go? The drinking? The arrest? Something that happened 5 minutes prior?—I will never know because I didn’t reply.

I really wasn’t tempted to. He obviously wants to continue these games, but I refuse to lock myself in that emotional hell.

Today, I feel free.

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Current state of…things.

I am alive after what was a great and awful weekend all at once.

Last week in general was rough. While I am going through the motions of getting my life back in order, my mind is still very caught up in D drama and my heart is still in pain.

D and I tried to plan a friendship-family night a few weeks ago and he cancelled last-minute, and I felt played. Since then, we’ve done nothing but fight; he says he loves and misses me, but then doesn’t reply my messages, or make attempts to see me.

I finally had a break down Wednesday at work; crying in the women’s bathroom and decided that I just needed to cut him out of my life. So I sent him a text asking him to come pick up his TV Friday.

The TV was his last item at my house; after he picked it up, there’d be no real reason for us to talk again. He agreed to pick it up Friday, so Friday morning (complete with a hangover) I dragged the near-60-inch flat screen into the hallway of my complex, threw a towel over it and sent him a text, “TV is ready for pickup” at 7:06 a.m.

Just as I expected, he replied to my message at 1:15 pm, saying “Can’t make it today.”

Little did he know that I’d already planned on him saying that, so my plan was to put the TV back in my apartment, keep it, and never talk to him again.

That’s exactly what I did. I didn’t reply to his message and I haven’t heard from him since.

It’s been 3 days—the longest time we’ve gone without talking to each other in 5 months—and I’m experiencing a range of emotions.

I had prepped myself for a weekend of drama; expecting D to send me rude texts, perhaps even show up at my door in the wee hours of the morning, blood pumping with alcohol.

But to my shock, not a peep.

Despite the silence, I hardly slept all weekend, and took out my frustrations on bowling and scrubbing my tub.

In unrelated news, I’ve got a massive crush on the new trainer, CJ, at our gym. All I can say is that he has really large muscles and that in my head we are already married and things are just perfect…

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Call me Abe Froman.

That’s right, I’m playing hooky today just like one of my favorite movie characters, Ferris Bueller.

I have a hair appointment this morning, so I just decided to call in sick and make it a day of fabulousness all about ME.

So, what’s on my agenda? Well after I get my cut & color, I’m meeting one of my old bosses for a sushi lunch—it was a totally random post she made on my Facebook page over the weekend, but I’m completely excited about it.

Then? I think I’ll hang out at Starbucks for a few hours and read and do some blogging…. then? I’m heading to yoga to get my zen on.

And then? I’ll watch Catfish. And it’ll be Nev-tastic!

Days like these are becoming incredibly important to me. I’m slowly rebuilding things back to the life I had before D.

Although I maintained my jobs, my friends, my workouts, etc, during our relationship, I still get that feeling that he came in, crapped on mostly everything, and now I’m just trying to pick up the pieces.

I know I learned a lot, and I showed just how strong I can be, but a big part of me wishes this didn’t happen. I really, really want things back to the way they were.

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Part two: the bar fight.

After getting the DWI, D was terrified he would lose his job. After all, he’d been drinking while on the job and he was driving home when he got pulled over for swerving all over the roads.

But when he got to work, they told him the entire thing was bullshit, and not to worry, because they would hire him the best DWI attorney in the state. When D told me this, I was extremely concerned. He was getting a free ride and wasn’t going to learn the lesson I’d hoped.

I told D I was really concerned and I didn’t know if I could handle our relationship if the drunken drama continued. I was worried for him and for us. He promised me he would cut back on drinking.

For about two weeks, he did.

One Sunday after work, D invited me to come over.

“Oh by the way, Hunter hit my truck,” he texted me before I arrived.

When I got to D’s house, Hunter (a waiter at the restaurant) was sitting on the patio, hammered. D was drinking Crown from a styrofoam cup.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

According to the guys, D had had two cocktails at work and was afraid to drive home, so he asked Hunter to follow him. Hunter, being too drunk to drive, swerved off the road, over-corrected, and hit D’s truck.

“What happened to not drinking and driving?” I asked.

“I had two drinks and, believe me, I was scared to,” D said.

I was pissed. Here we were, two weeks out from an arrest, and he was drinking and driving again. I left and went home.

The next day, a Monday, D was heading an hour away to a second restaurant location. He was joining a server, the other manager and the chef to see if this server (Bobby) wanted to come on as a manager. Bobby drove them, they ate a free meal, I’m assuming they had lots of drinks, and left.

Around 1:30 a.m., D calls me, excited to tell me that him and Bobby got in a fight and roughed up about 9 other guys.

According to D, him and Bobby left the restaurant and it was Bobby’s idea to step into a nearby bar where they saw an Arabic man sitting alone. Because Bobby and D both know Arabic (a fact I didn’t know), they decided to talk to him.

Again, according to D, they didn’t say anything offensive, and out of nowhere this guy pulls a knife out and holds it up to D’s neck. D then flipped him over the table, causing a group of other guys running to the scene and joining in.

D and Bobby were kicked out of the bar, and D was trying to tell me just how “cool” it was when he flipped this guy over the table.

I told him I didn’t think it was cool at all, that it was actually quite trashy, and he didn’t need to be out getting in fights. He is a dad and was just arrested two weeks before.

D was drunk, at a Waffle House, and couldn’t even tell me what city he was in. I told him we needed to have a serious talk later and hung up.

The next day, I told D that the only thing I could think to say or do was to give him an ultimatum. Any more drunken antics and I was out. He said he didn’t want to lose me and that was that.

That night, D got a call from the owner of his restaurant. The Arabic guy came into the restaurant and filed a complaint against D and Tommy. The shopping center threatened to close down the restaurant. D’s job was on the line…

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