Tag Archives: drama

Country Drama (Part 1)

Over the weekend I went to a bachelorette party in Nasvhille, Tennessee.  I’ve been there a handful of times and Nashville never disappoints, so I had high expectations for the weekend.  The only problem I could foresee was that Betty was going because she can be lot of anxiety and some drama.  

When the emails about the weekend started swirling and the MOH was getting deep into planning, Betty who has been to Nashville several times offered her assistance since she apparently knew where all the cool places were.  The MOH respectfully declined her help and said she would take care of everything.  Betty is kind of a control freak so I expected her to start having anxiety/panic attacks over the whole trip when she didn’t know/plan every last detail. I was also worried that when we actually went out, if people didn’t want to do what she wanted to do she would leave the group and expect me to go with her, which I knew I wouldn’t leave the group, but it would probably be more drama from Betty.  And that pretty much happened.

A few weeks before the party the MOH sent out an email saying she had rented a house because there were so many of us and all the hotels were booked up for some convention.  The house was 5 or 6 miles from downtown so she had also rented us a party bus to take us wherever we needed to go – the whole weekend excluding food and drinks was going to cost us $150.  To me, that sounded pretty awesome, I hate taking cabs and we’d be able to drink in the bus/leave whatever we didn’t want to take to the bar in the bus and have a ride wherever we needed to go.  Betty started complaining that she thought $150 was a lot and the house was really far from the strip, which I just ignored because whatever, if you don’t want to pay it then don’t go.  Then she came up with some idea that her and I should stay with a guy friend from high school, he lives close to the strip and would drop us off and pick us up and then we wouldn’t have to pay the money.  Um, no.  I told her she could do what she wanted, but I was staying with the group.  As soon as she realized I wasn’t going to do that, she dropped it.

The following week the MOH sent out another email saying she had everything booked, but the house only slept 7 and since there were 10 of us, she needed 3 people to volunteer to bring air mattresses.  This is when the freak out really started.  Betty then said that if she was going to have to sleep on an air mattress she wasn’t paying full price.  At first I just tried to calm her down, explaining that 3 out of 10 people had to sleep on air mattresses, and no where in the email did it say she had to be one of them.

A few days later she asked me if I was going to reply to the email.  Which I explained that I wasn’t, because while I do have an air mattress, it’s a piece of shit hand pump one and I sure as hell wasn’t pumping that thing up at 3am when I’m drunk as piss, so I wasn’t planning on bringing it.  To add to it, the planning for this weekend started well over 2 months ago, and when it started the MOH told us all to be sure to take Friday off work, Betty didn’t take the day off  so I automatically was expected to wait for her to get off work before flying out, which also meant everyone else got there a solid 4-5 hours before us.  Of course I wasn’t happy that I had to wait on her, but what could I do? Since we were going to be so late and the last to arrive I expected we would be sleeping on the air mattresses, but I never said anything to Betty for obvious reasons.  I honestly could have cared less though, we were going to be drunk as shit and I would have preferred sleeping on an air mattress alone to sharing a bed with someone anyway.

A few more days went by and Betty started getting anxiety that no one had replied about bringing air mattresses.  Betty said she was going to reply and ask how we would get into the house if they were gone already when we got there and would say we would bring my air mattress but it’s jank and no one would want to sleep on it.  At this point I started to get pissed, like why was this still an issue? She wasn’t planning the weekend, so I told her if no one volunteered to bring them, then the MOH could figure it out – it’s not our problem. But she didn’t, she kept saying she was going to reply until I finally said you know what, if you reply saying we’re bringing an air mattress I guaran-fucking-tee you will be sleeping on it, so if you don’t want to sleep on it don’t say anything. Also, it’s not your air mattress to offer, it’s mine and I already said I wasn’t bringing it, so that’s the end of it. Of course, as the weekend got closer 5 other people volunteered to bring air mattresses and it was no longer an issue.

The day of the trip arrived and I was not at all excited because of all of the stress leading up to it…

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I hope that everyone had a gay ole time celebrating ‘Merica last week.  I know I did!

I spent the week in hometown catching up with family and friends while soaking up the sun and as many non-work related activities as I could.  While I was home I was offered a position at a new job, in the city I want to be in, at the place I want to work.  I’m pretty much as ecstatic as I can be about it.  I got to go into work yesterday and lay the smack-down on my boss and tell them how much they suck.  Not really, but I did get to quit, which felt really awesome.  While all of that was happening, things with High School Crush were simultaneously going down the shitter, and I’m not sure why.  What’s the saying? When one door closes, another one opens? That’s totally the case here, but it still makes me feel like crap.
You see, a few weeks back Betty texted me that she ran into HSC’s best friend at a bar.  I said cool and told her to have fun.  The very next day High School Crush stopped pretty much all communication with me.  I’d like to think that these are two separate incidents, but because of Betty’s track record with saying fucked up things to guys I like, I can’t help but think she said something to his friend.
When I saw Betty the following weekend we talked about it, she relayed their conversation as the friend was just really interested in knowing what was going on with HSC and I.  If we were “official boyfriend/girlfriend” (because we are 5) and made some comments about how HSC talks to me more than he talks to his friends.  According to Betty, that was it and they carried on with their night, and for the first time in her life she didn’t say anything inappropriate.  Seemed pretty harmless.  I tried to chalk up the past 2 weeks of little to no communication to the fact that he closed on his house and told me he has a lot of work to do on it.  But I don’t want to make excuses for him.  Everyone has time to at least send one text a day to the person they like, and if not that, a hey sorry I dropped off the face of the Earth but I’m really busy message would have sufficed.
The thing is, if Betty did say something that she’s not telling me about, why wouldn’t HSC ask me about whatever she said if it was so upsetting to the point where he didn’t want to talk to me anymore? In the rare case that it was just a coincidence, I tried starting up a conversation with him a few times via text message to see how the house was coming along. The first time we had a short one sided conversation, and the second time I got a response more than a day later.  Say no more, I get the hint. The weirder part is that his responses were totally normal and upbeat.  Which is even more confusing.  If he is upset about something, why reply with totally normal conversation? Or better yet, why reply at all? However, the fact that it took him more than a day to respond to my message is all the clarification I needed.  I won’t be initiating a conversation again.
Correct me if I’m wrong here, but I am not a mind reader and if something is going on he should come to me to talk about it, right? I shouldn’t have to feel like the crazy, “OMG IS HE MAD AT ME?!” girl and constantly have to be like, what’s wrong? why are you mad? We are 27 years old.  Lets be adults and talk about things with each other, if I did something to make someone upset, I expect them to come to me and tell me because that’s what I would do if the situation were reversed. And lets also not have conversations through our friends, because we are not in junior high.  I’m not sending my friends off to find out what he’s thinking because I am an A-DULT.  I’d also like to think that after the nice talking to I had with Betty, if this happens again she’ll stay out of it and just say, “Oh he needs to talk to her about that.” Whatever the “that” may be.
I can honestly say that in all of my failed relationships, I’ve learned my lesson. This communicating through friends/getting blown off for no apparent reason business is not something I want to deal with and I kind of have zero tolerance for it, so I’m leaving the situation alone. In the past, I probably would have poked and prodded until I found out what was going on and how I could fix it. Not this time, even if it is with HSC, because I don’t want to have that be the standard of how to handle problems. I’ve constantly been the peacemaker and willing to do whatever it takes to make someone else happy and it’s gotten me cheated on and lied to, so I’m done.
So, that’s the current state of things.  I’m pretty excited to be moving, and disappointed in the fact that I can’t catch a break and have multiple things in my life go right at the same time. But whatever… new city, new guys.  Time to put my game face on.
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My past is back to haunt me…again

I was driving back to the big city last night thinking about the perfect weekend I was leaving behind.  I hung out with Betty with no drama, I hung out with High School Crush, had some quality family time, and got a nice tan while I was at it.

About an hour outside of the city I got this text from Betty…

“Mercedes just texted me all of this: Ran into Gizzy’s prom date last night. Pretty sure he’s in love with her lol. And I feel like every time I see him he’s wearing the same shirt. High School Crush something something.  That’s what his shirt said. And he was asking if she had a bf, if she was dating that High School Crush dude, if she was still in the big city…Lol all up in her biz!”

Uhhh… hold the bus.

As you may recall, Mercedes and I haven’t been friends nor have we spoken in a year and a half because she’s a cum guzzling drama whore.  So my first thought was forget prom date, why is SHE all up in MY biz? We are not friends.

This whole situation makes me nervous.  You see, back when Mercedes and I were friends she ran into my date to the senior prom at a party, they got to talking and realized they both knew me.  So they drunk dialed me.  We all had a good laugh about it and I haven’t heard of them running into each other since then, probably 3 or 4 years ago.

Also if you recall, my prom date was/is one of High School Crush’s best friends, and I also drunkenly told HSC back then that I didn’t want to go to prom with the guy.  Such a long dramatic history.

Anyway, this is bad.  I’ve tried really hard to cleanse my life of bad people like Mercedes. And now this, something that is beyond my control.  My biggest fear is that she’s still out to get me and will spill the guts to the prom date about my dating past (Snoop-Linus) and he’ll tell High School Crush all about it.  And I’ll look like a weak insecure idiot.

Don’t get me wrong here, I am not trying to hide my dating past from HSC, but we haven’t gotten into all that.  And frankly, if we never do I’ll be ok with it.  But, if we do have the “Ex talk”, I want to be the one to tell him about the awful life changing relationship with Snoop-Linus.  Because if Mercedes tells his friends the emphasis will be drugs, that he cheated on me and I stayed with him, and that I was crazy and looked through his stuff and was basically a stalker trying to figure out who and what he was doing behind my back.  When I talk about it I’d like to take the emphasis off the bad decision that I made to stay with him for so long and the crazy that took over me and highlight the fact that I learned about all the things I don’t want in a relationship/partner. Obviously in the right situation with the right guy I won’t be like that again, because I won’t have to. But an ex-friend certainly won’t shed light on how awesome I am.

Anyway, High School Crush is still talking me today so if anything was said and it was passed down the line to him he’s ok with it or doesn’t care, because it’s still normal.  So whatevs, I freak out for nothing.  

So onto the good stuff, HSC called me on Saturday and asked me to come to his friend’s pool party.  I had plans with my mom and sister so I told him I’d come later on that evening.  When I got there it was our friend from high school (Closet Freak, if anyone is keeping track), his brother and the brother’s girlfriend, his sister, High School Crush’s sister, and her husband.  And the friend’s mom. 

As the night wound down HSC asked if I wanted to come back to his parent’s house and hang out, so I said ok. 

A little back story here.  In high school, Lucky and I were stalkers.  We’d drive past the houses of the guys we liked jamming out to Justin Timberlake because it was an adreneline rush.  Occassionally when we’d drive past someone’s house they’d be outside, recognize our car and stop us to hang out.  I assume that’s why we did it, because we were losers and no one called us to hang out but if they ran into us they’d hang out with us by default. 

So as we were about to leave the party I texted Lucky cracking up at myself saying, “I’m about to go to HSC’s parent’s house and I have to pretend like I don’t know where he lives.”

10 years ago if you would’ve told me I’d be going over to his house to hang out I would have slapped you in the face.  But today? Not so shocking, and it was just like it would have been in high school.  By the time we got there his parent’s were already in bed so we had to sneak around the house in the dark to get to the basement.  He showed me his childhood room and we went back out to the tv hang out room to watch a movie. At that point I pictured 14 year old Gizzy and Lucky giving each other a high five.  They would be so proud.

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Good luck is coming my way

If anyone wished me luck last week when I asked for it, let me say thanks, it worked!

I won the lottery ($6) and hung out with High School Crush – doesn’t get much better, right? Except if I would have won the big jackpot.  Then I could have bought whatever guy I wanted. (Ryan Gosling.)

Anyway, the party with High School Crush went a little better than expected.  I can imagine that people probably wanted to puke at the sight of us, but it was fun.  It was also nice to finally realize that the wrath of Snoop-Linus didn’t ruin my chances of ever liking a guy and being able to act normal around a guy again.  See: used to be a skittish freak.

When I dated HOTTIE I was constantly worried about what kind of shady stuff he was doing when I wasn’t around.  Not because he was a shady person, but because Snoop-Linus was.  I felt like I had to constantly look over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t going to be made a fool of again. I didn’t feel like that this weekend, which granted it is still very early, but I think I’m a little more at ease with the situation because it’s progressed about as slowly as it could.  At this stage in the game, 3 months after starting to talk, with Snoop-Linus and Douchearoo the L bomb had already been dropped and the relationships were already starting to spiral down the drain because we were fighting all the time.  But, for the first time since High School, I’ve gotten to know the guy before anything sexual happened.  Not to say that is the key that’s been missing all these years, but I’m just happy to not have hook-up remorse. With that being said, I almost did.

Pretty much in the heat of the moment I went back on what I said I didn’t want to do.  I said at the end of the night I wanted us to go our separate ways him to go home with his friends and me to go home with mine, which didn’t happen. After both of our friends were all at the same bar my friends decided to go somewhere else and he voluntarily agreed to come with us. That’s a first for me, no guy has ever left his friends to hang out with mine – which took me by surprise. Eventually my friends disbursed and all went off making out with different guys, so it was just him and I.   When it came time to go home we couldn’t find or get a hold of either of our friends.  Really not a good situation for 2 people who don’t live in that particular city, so we walked back to Chuck’s.  She has a basement lounge area with a futon that I usually stay on when I’m there, so that was the plan.

Yada yada yada…. One thing led to another and we almost had sex.  If it wouldn’t have been for the fact that I’m not on any kind of birth control I probably would have done it.  Shame on me.  But I didn’t, so it’s ok.

The dynamic is definitely different now though, in a good way. We hung out with his little sister for a while that night and she drunkenly aired all of their family’s dirty laundry to me.  Of course, HSC was embarrassed about it, but I thought it was funny and endearing.  Mostly because my family drama of a high schooler putting her baby up for adoption then trying to get it back 8 months later slash a grown ass man throwing baked beans on a baby at a family gathering trumps almost anything anyone else could throw out there.  I don’t know if it’s that she spilled all the drama or the fact that we got to hang out for a whole night without someone ruining it, but he’s definitely been way more of a chatty Cathy since all that.  Whatever, I’m not complaining.

In other news, some ladies in my office invited me to go to lunch with them today and it was good, it made me not hate my work life quite as much.  Annnnddd… that’s it.

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28 before 28 – doing it!

As Lucky mentioned last week, Sunday was my birthday.  I’m 27 now and it doesn’t feel any different than 26, or 22 for that matter.  Except the fact that I’m closer to 30, which bums me out.  But people keep saying 30 is the new 20, so I’m going to believe it.

I know we drone on a lot about how we’re single and how everyone else our age is married and having babies and wah wah poor us.  Honestly, when I was a little girl and I thought all the time about what my life would be like when I was 27.  For starters, I was expecting to be married, to Zac Hanson/JTT (depending on the year).

Which clearly I’m still in the running for.  I was never one to be all about having babies though, from a pretty young age I knew that I would wait until I was in my mid thirties before I would start popping out noise makers.  I mean, why ruin a hot bod before its necessary? And when I start having babies that will most likely also be the end of it too.  Twins would be the ideal situation so I can get 2 for the price of one and be done.

Anyway, the point is that I’m 27 and my life is nothing like what I expected it to be.  I thought I would be married, not living in the big city, not hating my job, and that life would be peachy.  With the exception of my job sucking donkey, I’m pretty happy with where I’m at.  I don’t rely on anyone for money, some dude doesn’t run my life, and somehow I’ve held it together enough to not have a nervous breakdown and stab my co-workers in the eyes with pencils.

For my birthday celebration I went to visit a friend that lives in a college town with her mom.  When we were younger, hanging out with people’s parents was really a buzz kill, but since we’ve all become legal to drink it’s a lot more fun now.  Anyway, my friend’s mom is recently divorced and her new divorcee outlook on life is pretty much spot on with how I want to lead the rest of my life.  Her new motto is that she only wants to surround herself with people who bring light to her life, and people whose life she brings light to.  Yeah it’s kind of hippie dippie, but that’s her and she makes a good point.  It also lines up with what Lucky and I have been saying for a while now, that the negative people need to get the fuck out.  Since we’ve both been lacking the drama in our lives lately, I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job at that, with the exception of our work lives.

Since things are probably going to start going downhill after 27, I thought it best to make a list of all the things I’d like to accomplish before my 28th birthday, you know that’s the new thing to do 35 things to do before 35 blah blah, so I’m doing 28 things to do before I turn 28 –  most of mine aren’t life changing so don’t get too excited.  I will however keep everyone updated on my progress of marking things off the list:

  1. Quit my job
  2. Find a new job
  3. Move closer to hometown
  4. Have sex with Zac Efron and/or Ryan Gosling and ultimately trick one of them into marrying me
  5. Visit Las Vegas (almost there!)
  6. Get over my fear of having people touch my feet and get a pedicure
  7. Buy a new car
  8. Go on a date with a stranger
  9. Start a retirement savings account outside of the one my job offers
  10. Do Lucky’s infamous 14 day detox
  11. Finish learning to play the piano
  12. Buy living room/dining room furniture
  13. Complete a painting
  14. Pay off a student loan
  15. Take the GRE
  16. Apply for Masters programs
  17. Put money aside for mine and Lucky’s 30th birthday Euro trip
  18. Lose 8 pounds/tone up
  19. Buy a new camera
  20. Visit a winery
  21. Get renters insurance
  22. Try a gluten free diet
  23. Get the mole on my neck that bugs me removed
  24. Do something selfless to help out a stranger
  25. Take myself on an awesome date, that means a nice dinner and a movie – alone (already know which movie I’m going to see!)
  26. Volunteer some time to a good cause
  27. Buy the best anti-wrinkle/eye firming cream out there
  28. Find the DeLorean and Doc Brown, and take a drive back to my 18th birthday so I can do it all over again
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A penny for my thoughts?

If you’re reading this, that means you’ve made it through our new fortress of protection.  But real talk here, can you guys believe that shiz? Nicole, Ben, and Ralphie will from now until forever be referred to as the trifecta of evil.  I, as the keeper of the Pearly Gates of Heaven, shun them. I hope you guys are ready for a ride to drama city, buckle up, ‘cause it’s ‘bout to get bumpy.

Seriously I am so lame.  Anymore I’m just a big walking talking 1 liner, because my life is that awesome.

Anywho, aside from bashing the trifecta of evil all weekend with Lucky, I didn’t really do much else.  I was sick, so I mostly whined to High School Crush about that via text, and then once my cough medicine kicked in I told him stories of excuses I’ve told my friends to get out of going to clubs in the big city, which he seemed to enjoy because he too makes excuses to not go out (see: soulmates).  He told me about how he got drunk and did his taxes, and I whined about being sick some more, then I found out his grandfather died (not from him) and now I feel like a big stupid whore for not asking every 5 seconds how his grandfather was doing.  But seriously, how nice is he to let me ramble aimlessly to him when he had real problems that didn’t involve flem and friends that are too fun?  With that being said, I don’t expect to hear from him again. 

BUT, in my defense, when we hung out at the festival that one night I did ask how his grandpa was doing but I said it like, “Um yeah, so I know this is probably like the worst time EVER to ask, since you know, we’re drunk, but uh, how’s your grandpa?” So he told me the story about how he really only had a week or two left before he died, and how it was hard, and his mom was really upset, and we had a really nice heart to heart and at the end he was like, “But yeah, thanks for bringing that up. HA HA.” I knew it would be awkward #1 because aside from his younger sister, I really don’t know his family at all, so he’s probably like “Why the eff does she care?” Uh because HSC, I care about YOU! MMKAY? I mean our mom’s are friends, and like my whole family is friends with his dad, but I’ve never been formally introduced like, “Mr. and Mrs. High School Crush meet Gizzy” my mom is always just like, “Eh.  They know who you are.” And I’m like, “But MOM, no one has ever formally introduced me, I am going to be their daughter-in-law one day and his mom mistakenly thought I was a prostitute once! COME ON!”  But nothing.

I don’t know where I was going with that.  But, per my horoscope things with my romantic life are going to scale back this week.  So, you win Mother Nature, it worked, I ruined it.  Whore.

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If The Crown Fits…



Starring: Dr. Tao (Dentist), Holly (Dental Asst.), Sara (Dental Asst.), and Lucky “Good Ass” Gold (Dental Patient)

Scene: Lucky laying in dentist chair, thumbing through a pink iPod of Dr. Tao’s. She is laying under a fuzzy blanket trying to hide from impending drills as she is about to have a cavity filled and a crown fitted. Assistants Holly and Sara prep for Dr. Tao’s arrival.

Sara: What material are we using for the crown?

Holly: I dunno. Want me to call Dr. Tao?? I should call him, right?? Let me call him.

Sara: Ok Lucky!! Time to apply the topical (applying shitastic bubblegum numbing gel via q-tip).

Lucky fist pumps at the site of three John Mayer albums on the pink iPod.

Holly: Lucky!! I’m so glad to see you back here! You my sister from another mother! Guess what girl? We get Friday OFF!!! Dr. Tao is leaving to teach a class, so we don’t have to work! Yay!

Lucky: Sweet.

<<Dr. Tao enters>>

Dr. Tao: Hey Lucky! Time to numb you up (inserts needle no. 1). Gonna feel a little pinch.

Hey did someone book my flight?

Holly: I did!!!! I did, Dr. Tao.

Dr. Tao: Aaaaand my hotel?

Sara: yes, we booked it.

Dr. Tao: I hate flying across the country, especially if you go west. You lose so much time in-flight. You know?

Holly: You hate flying Southwest?? Southwest Airlines?

<<Lucky laughs>>

Sara: No, like flying west. The direction. Because of the time zones.

Holly: Oh, oh, oh. Right!!!!

<<Dr. Tao jams needle no. 2 into Lucky’s jaw.>>

Dr. Tao: Lucky can you hear me?

<<Lucky nodding.>>

Dr. Tao: Okay, is your tongue starting to numb up?

Lucky: yes.

Dr. Tao: Okay we’ll start in just two more minutes. Once I start you can crank your music up and it will just be a lot of water and vibration.

Lucky thinks—”that’s what she said.”

Dr. Tao: If you’re uncomfortable at any time, just raise your left hand and we’ll stop the procedure.

Lucky turns up the sweet, sweet vocals of her one and only, John Mayer. In the meantime, Dr. Tao is on one side with the drill, while Sara is on the other, with the water hose and the vaccuum.

…an hour later…

Dr. Tao: I’m ready to build the tooth up, will you have the bite strip ready for me, Holly?

Holly: Yes, yes, Dr. Tao! I’m ready.

Dr. Tao: Ok, I’m pumping…I’m pumping…I’m pumping…I’m rrreeeaaddddyyy…

Lucky thinks, “wow, that’s REALLY what he said. And when was the last time I got laid?”

Holly: okay…(still fiddling with the bite strip and tweezers).

Dr. Tao: Okay Speedy Gonzales.

Sara and Dr. Tao glance around the room.

Holly: Here it is!

Dr. Tao: Okay Lucky go ahead and bite down…okay bite down…I know you’re numb…bite down hard.

Dr. Tao leaves the room, Sara and Holly finish the crown.

Holly: Sara!! Are you going to come to the dinner party next week? It’s at 7:30!

Sara: ehhh…I don’t know Holly…with all the….stuff…going on, I haven’t been feeling too sociable lately…I’m sorry.

Holly: Oh no, you don’t have to ‘splain it to me girl. I just figured you’d want to go, you know since Dr. Tao will be there and all…


Will Sara go to the dinner party and intrude on a budding romance between Holly and Dr. Tao? Or will Dr. Tao find true love on his coast-to-coast flight and leave his two assistants in the cold dental office?

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