Tag Archives: economy

I need a dolla, dolla… a dolla is what I need!

Lucky and I often talk about our finances.  I know, SHAME ON US! That is like the cardinal rule of friendships, you don’t ask or tell about personal finances.  But what do we have to hide? We’re both poor as shit so why do we care if the other knows it? It gives us yet another thing to bitch about together.
A lot of times we talk about how we don’t understand how all of these people, who we know can’t make much more than us if they even make more than us at all, can afford such lavish things like new homes, new cars, new furniture, expensive vacations, and can all around blow their hard earned monies on things Lucky and I only dream about.  Like, name brand food and going out to eat for every meal. 
ESPECIALLY, those who are stay at home mothers.  That really irks me.  It’s like, you’re telling me that a family of 4 can live in our hometown off of probably the same salary I make and I am barely staying afloat?  Something just doesn’t add up here.  I realize that my rent is insanely expensive for having 2 roomates and that these individuals probably spend a few hundred dollars less on a mortgage each month.  But still, $200 = the payment on ONE of their new cars.  And we’re even again. 
I went to school for finance, I budget my funds.  I know exactly how much I can spend each week on gas, groceries, and miscellanous items in order to be able to put $500 in my savings each month.  $500! That’s it.  That would be enough to send Stay at home Mom’s left boob on a vacation.  And each month something comes up where I have to take that $500 out of savings and spend it on something that makes me want to puke.  Ie, a dresser and night stands in June, necessities (towels, cleaning supplies, etc) in July, dental work in August, my Mom’s birthday party in September (ok this was money well spent), etc…etc.. And if it weren’t for getting in that car accident in July I’d have nothing in my savings at all.
Was I just an unfortunate child in the fact that my parents didn’t pay for all of my college and now I’m stuck with a $350 loan bill each month?  And all these swanky stay at home mom’s and their hubbers parents paid their way all through school so now they’re taking the $700 a month that would be put toward student loan payments and wiping their asses with it?
Often times Lucky and I will share penny saving tips with each other.  She enlightened me to the dollar store, and we jizzed ourselves when I found an Aldi and got my entire week’s groceries for $12.  That’s the other thing, I don’t see these moms all over facebook bragging about their extreme couponing or super savings at the local food bank.  But yet, it never fails, each Sunday they’re posting pictures of all the cool expensive things they did that weekend with their kids.
So I need all of our wonderful readers out there to do 2 things for me, #1 – Tell Lucky and I how awesome we are for supporting ourselves, and #2 Tell me how these families are doing it? What is this obvious money saving secret that everyone knows about except for Lucky and I? 
I just feel like, if I had a husband and 2 kids and say I was the only one working and he stayed at home with the two kids.  First,  we would be living off food stamps because my entire salary would go toward our rent.  Second, even if we crammed our family of 4 into my master bedroom and still let Anth and Doogie live with us the kids would be dressed in trash bags because I wouldn’t be able to afford to feed them AND buy them diapers and clothes.  Forget buying them toys or books – here’s an empty tampon box to play with oh child of mine. 
I’m not currently having sex, but if I start in the near future before I get a $50,000 a year raise I’m going to quadruple up on the birth control.  The pill, nuva ring, the shot, and a condom – give it all to me, because I cannot afford a husband and children.  Also, did I mention twins are genetic in my family?  Yep, if I ever get preggers the chance of me having twins is better than not having twins.  FML.
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The Art of Being Single

Step 1:   Have a fuck you attitude toward the world.  

Step 2:   Don’t hide your flaws.

Step 3:  Date every asshole imaginable.

Step 4:  When you’re nearing a scary milestone in your life (30) plan a Euro-Trip with your co-blogger/best friend.

And if not….

Sunday night Lucky and I got to talking.  Yes our lives are boring, we hate men, our jobs are going no where, we have nothing to look forward to yada yada yada… then we came up with the most brilliant plan ever – Europe.  

3 weeks in summer 2015 Italy, Greece, France, Spain, England… we’ll be there celebrating our 30th birthdays.


So we are pretty excited about it.  We’re going to eat good food, drink good booze and get ourselves cultured.  We’re planning it four years in advance because we’re not going to backpack through Europe – we’re going to live in the lap of luxury.  And by that I mean we plan on staying in hotels and not hostels where we will get murdered and raped.   So we will be saving up our monies for the next 4 years so our fun Euro Trip doesn’t send us into debt.  All while all of our married, kid frenzied friends are spending their hard earned bucks on formula and diaper genies. 


We realize that four years is a long time.  But let’s be honest – 4 years ago Lucky and I were no closer to marriage and families then we are today, so we are pretty confident we won’t have to cash in our Euro fund for a down payment on a new mini-van. 


Traveling through Europe is something I have wanted to do for years.  I never studied abroad because I didn’t think I could last 4 months away from home, but I was always so jealous of those who did.  They came back knowing new languages, they had new life-long friends from across the country, they had stories of the sights they saw in different countries, and pictures of themselves with famous landmarks.   Finally – Lucky and I can live it up!


Anyway, I got yelled at and called a bitch this morning by a homeless man because I wouldn’t give him a new shirt in the backseat of my car and my lunch.  I see the guy at the same place every day, he’s always standing at the stoplight when I get off the expressway with a sign saying “Homeless: Need work or food.”


Living in the big city I see multiple homeless people daily – they all want money, free food, or a job.  Well don’t we all.  I mean yeah, I feel sorry for them because I know it’s rough out there, but 99% of the homeless people begging for money on the streets are just lazy.    So I pull up and every morning when I see this guy standing at the stop light with his sign I groan, because he’ll stand at the front of your car with his sign and stare at you expecting a hand out, but he’s never said anything to me until today.


He walks up to my car with his sign, I shake my head and don’t make eye contact.  Then he starts beating on my window saying, “Hey can I have that shirt back there?” I shook my head and continued looking forward, then he beats again, “Hey can I have the food in that bag (my lunch)”  I shook my head again and continued looking forward.  Then he beats so hard to the point where I was afraid the window would break and he says, “Hey give me one of those waters back there!!” I had the remainder of a package of water bottles in my backseat and there were like 3 bottles left.  I finally looked over, screamed “NO! GO AWAY!” and he walked away but not before saying, “Bitch.”


I’m all about helping people who are less fortunate then myself, but I’m not going to give handouts to people who just expect me to give them whatever I have, who are rude, and lazy.   I mean, I do NOT drive a nice car so it really pissed me off that this hobo thought he could walk up to my car and start calling out demands of things he wanted me to give him.  #2, my window doesn’t roll down – so I’ll be damned if I open up my door to give someone a damn bottle of water.  Every morning I get irritated with this guy because he stands there for hours upon hours asking people in the street for money instead of walking across the street to the 4 or 5 gas stations, Mcdonalds, Wendys, and Burger King and filling out applications. 


I get pretty annoyed at this group of girls that I see on my way home from work too, almost to the point where I have opened my door to say something to them because I want to tell them off.  But, I don’t want to get shot so I keep my mouth shut and my door closed.  These girls, usually 5-10 of them stand in the intersection before you get to the expressway in the street with Tupperware containers collecting money.  Yes, nice, EXPENSIVE Tupperware containers.  They are well dressed, carry coach wristlets, and are wearing new Nike’s and people are still giving them money. 


For a while when it was just 2 or 3 of them I thought maybe they were raising money for something, but as I’ve watched their group grow I have realized that they’re just standing there asking for people to give them cash.  And they usually do have their Tupperware containers full of dollar bills.  If my window worked I would 100% roll it down one day and ask what they are raising money for just to make them feel stupid.  But then again, they never come up to my car – because I’m a white woman and they can’t sweet talk me like they can the brothas.


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