Tag Archives: high school

My past is back to haunt me…again

I was driving back to the big city last night thinking about the perfect weekend I was leaving behind.  I hung out with Betty with no drama, I hung out with High School Crush, had some quality family time, and got a nice tan while I was at it.

About an hour outside of the city I got this text from Betty…

“Mercedes just texted me all of this: Ran into Gizzy’s prom date last night. Pretty sure he’s in love with her lol. And I feel like every time I see him he’s wearing the same shirt. High School Crush something something.  That’s what his shirt said. And he was asking if she had a bf, if she was dating that High School Crush dude, if she was still in the big city…Lol all up in her biz!”

Uhhh… hold the bus.

As you may recall, Mercedes and I haven’t been friends nor have we spoken in a year and a half because she’s a cum guzzling drama whore.  So my first thought was forget prom date, why is SHE all up in MY biz? We are not friends.

This whole situation makes me nervous.  You see, back when Mercedes and I were friends she ran into my date to the senior prom at a party, they got to talking and realized they both knew me.  So they drunk dialed me.  We all had a good laugh about it and I haven’t heard of them running into each other since then, probably 3 or 4 years ago.

Also if you recall, my prom date was/is one of High School Crush’s best friends, and I also drunkenly told HSC back then that I didn’t want to go to prom with the guy.  Such a long dramatic history.

Anyway, this is bad.  I’ve tried really hard to cleanse my life of bad people like Mercedes. And now this, something that is beyond my control.  My biggest fear is that she’s still out to get me and will spill the guts to the prom date about my dating past (Snoop-Linus) and he’ll tell High School Crush all about it.  And I’ll look like a weak insecure idiot.

Don’t get me wrong here, I am not trying to hide my dating past from HSC, but we haven’t gotten into all that.  And frankly, if we never do I’ll be ok with it.  But, if we do have the “Ex talk”, I want to be the one to tell him about the awful life changing relationship with Snoop-Linus.  Because if Mercedes tells his friends the emphasis will be drugs, that he cheated on me and I stayed with him, and that I was crazy and looked through his stuff and was basically a stalker trying to figure out who and what he was doing behind my back.  When I talk about it I’d like to take the emphasis off the bad decision that I made to stay with him for so long and the crazy that took over me and highlight the fact that I learned about all the things I don’t want in a relationship/partner. Obviously in the right situation with the right guy I won’t be like that again, because I won’t have to. But an ex-friend certainly won’t shed light on how awesome I am.

Anyway, High School Crush is still talking me today so if anything was said and it was passed down the line to him he’s ok with it or doesn’t care, because it’s still normal.  So whatevs, I freak out for nothing.  

So onto the good stuff, HSC called me on Saturday and asked me to come to his friend’s pool party.  I had plans with my mom and sister so I told him I’d come later on that evening.  When I got there it was our friend from high school (Closet Freak, if anyone is keeping track), his brother and the brother’s girlfriend, his sister, High School Crush’s sister, and her husband.  And the friend’s mom. 

As the night wound down HSC asked if I wanted to come back to his parent’s house and hang out, so I said ok. 

A little back story here.  In high school, Lucky and I were stalkers.  We’d drive past the houses of the guys we liked jamming out to Justin Timberlake because it was an adreneline rush.  Occassionally when we’d drive past someone’s house they’d be outside, recognize our car and stop us to hang out.  I assume that’s why we did it, because we were losers and no one called us to hang out but if they ran into us they’d hang out with us by default. 

So as we were about to leave the party I texted Lucky cracking up at myself saying, “I’m about to go to HSC’s parent’s house and I have to pretend like I don’t know where he lives.”

10 years ago if you would’ve told me I’d be going over to his house to hang out I would have slapped you in the face.  But today? Not so shocking, and it was just like it would have been in high school.  By the time we got there his parent’s were already in bed so we had to sneak around the house in the dark to get to the basement.  He showed me his childhood room and we went back out to the tv hang out room to watch a movie. At that point I pictured 14 year old Gizzy and Lucky giving each other a high five.  They would be so proud.

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The High School Crush Practice Date

As you’re all aware, I had a date on Wednesday night.  Normally I don’t do dates unless I really like the guy, why waste our time and his money if I know I’m not interested?  At this point, I’d like to ask all of you nay sayers to save it with the optimistic “How do you know you don’t like him until you go on a date and see?!” bullshit. I just know, okay? If I don’t get a tingle in my vajayjay upon our first meeting, then he’s in the friend zone….forever! But, since I have the almighty High School Crush date on Saturday, I figured I could use the practice making adult conversation, so I gladly accepted even though I already knew I wasn’t interested romantically.

All day Wednesday I bitched and moaned to Lucky about how I didn’t want to go.  I really wanted to sit in my jammies in bed that night and shop online for the perfect outfit to wear on the date with HSC Saturday.  Lucky kept telling me to suck it up and stop being a wiener, I had to go on this one to take the pressure off of Saturday, and it wouldn’t be that bad.  I wasn’t worried about the dinner itself, I was more worried about the goodbye at the end of the night.  Do I shake his hand? Give him a hug? A kiss on the cheek? If he buys me a bottle of Dom does that mean I’m obligated to give him a bj? This is more thinking than I like to do after I leave the office, clearly.  So I tried to get myself out of the end of the night awkwardness all together.

The guy was supposed to pick me up at 7pm and around 4 he texted me asking for my address.  So I did what I do best, I made up an excuse so we could just meet at the restaurant.  “Er, well, I’m going to have to stay late at work.  So, is it cool if I just meet you at the restaurant? I don’t think I’ll have time to make it home beforehand.”  Usually when I do this the guy will comply, but this time I was not so lucky.  He said we could just go later so that I could go home first and decompress from work.  Ugh! Fail.  I told him we could still go at 7 because I am so prepared that I brought of change of clothes to work, and he said I could just drive to his place and we could walk to the restaurant.  It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than him walking me to my door at the end of the night and coming in for the goodnight kiss and me barfing on his face.

When I started getting ready for the date I wanted to look good, but not too good, because I didn’t want to give him the wrong signals.  So, I wore the diamond ring that HOTTIE MCHOTTERSON got me last year for Christmas.  Yep, you read right.  I did that.  I also ate a clove of garlic.  I know, I’m horrible.  With any date, you hope there won’t be a lull in the conversation, because how awkward is that when it’s apparent that you’re both sitting there racking your brain trying to think of things to talk about?  I can say, that did not happen on this date.  This guy was FULL of conversation topics, such as but not limited to:

If I looked on your DVR right now what would I find?

What would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow?

What is the last meal you cooked?

If you were stranded on a desert island or mountain what do you think your high heels could double as?

Yeah, so asking these questions out of thin air was super lame, but they served their purpose and got the conversation going.  Even though each time he asked one of these questions it wasn’t because there was a gap in the conversation, it was because my mouth was full of food and I didn’t want to spit vodka cream sauce and noodles on his face, and he apparently took that as I was done talking about the previous topic.  Whatevs.  What I can tell you, is that this weekend I will NOT be asking HSC what’s on his DVR or what he thinks he could do with my high heels on a mountain.  Hrmph.

So, the guy paid for dinner, which was nice, but he kind of bashed me for not wanting to order a desert.  He said I was the only girl he had ever met that didn’t have a sweet tooth and he didn’t know how he felt about it.  “Well,” I told him, “The thing is, I DO have a sweet tooth, but I just had 3 glasses of sangria, a huge dish of pasta, half a loaf of bread, and half an appetizer.  So like, I’m probably going to go home and ralph all this up because I can’t breathe right now.”  He walked me to my car and said we would have to do this again sometime.  He didn’t even try to hug me or anything, so I took that as either A.) He was thinking about me ralphing B.) My subtle “I have a fake boyfriend” clues with the ring and the garlic clove worked or C.) He really did just want to catch up as friends and I’m a narcissistic freak.  Either way, it’s over and now I can focus on tomorrow.  Game on!

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Free at last

Guess what day it is.  It’s the return of Douche Day!!! You know what that means, something happened with the man himself, Douchearoo.  Seriously, after all of the awful things that the ex Snoop-Linus did to me, I think I still hate Douchearoo more.  Because he just tries to be an asshole.

I was driving to work this morning, minding my own business, when I noticed a child’s toy chillin’ on the back of a semi.  I thought it was funny, because it was one of those alphabet caterpillars.  So I got as close as I could, took a picture, and posted it on facebook saying, “Aw some little kid lost its toy!” Not 2 minutes after, Douchearoo comments “The kid is an it?” Yeah asshole, IT is.  I didn’t see if it was a little boy or a little girl who left his or her toy on the back of this semi, and you know what else? With all the recent baby drama I like to call kid’s it.  So step off, you don’t know me! 

If anyone else would have made that comment I would’ve laughed and been like, “HA HA, yep, it is an IT!” But I think any other person that would have been jackass enough to think about leaving a comment like that would have concluded beforehand why I called the kid it.  Just for funsies let’s run through the scenarios of other words I could’ve used and why I didn’t:

1. Aw some little kid lost his or her toy

-No. This is facebook, not effing English class, I’m not going to sound like a tool.

Aw some little kid lost their toy

-Then his comment would’ve been, “Since when do kids multiply” or something just as pretentious.

It’s like I told Lucky, if he wants to be silent facebook friends, I am totally fine with that, but don’t comment on my shit! He would do things like this when we were together and it really got under my skin.  He didn’t do it to me so much as he would to others. But, it honestly made me mad that I was dating someone who preyed on the weaknesses of others so he could feel better about himself and try and make himself look cool.

But really, correcting people’s spelling and grammar is all he’s ever had.  He’s ugly, balding, and fat, so his feeble mind is all that he has going for him.  That’s not even saying much, because I think he has trouble holding entry level jobs.  As for me, well I’m just coming into my prime and I work at one of the best companies in the world in my industry.  So you know all of that has to make him feel really good about dumping me a few years ago, I sure am glad he did.

As much as I wanted to reply to the comment and tell him that he sucks and I hate him, I didn’t.  I deleted the picture, and deleted him as a friend.  I’m almost 27 years old and can’t be getting into facebook battles anymore. I also have to think about what I’ve got going on this weekend, the hangout with High School Crush, a public fight with my ex over facebook for all to see could easily ruin that.  How unattractive and trashy is it when people get in public fights over facebook and twitter? Ugh! I’m taking a classy approach in 2012.

I am happy to report that I am now no longer facebook friends with any of my ex-boyfriends.  I’m free!!!!

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Justified 2012.

New Year’s Eve was obviously awful for me, but Gizzy kept insisting that 2012 was/is indeed OUR year. It is.  It has to be, because the world is ending this year, remember?

I want to believe her, so I suggested we come up with a slogan for the year; some kind of catch phrase that we could say to each other if we were feeling low or unsure about something in our lives.

I racked my brain for sassy sayings. My initial thought was that of Atlanta Housewife, Sheree, “Who gonna check me, boo?” But Gizzy isn’t really into the Housewives as much as I am. We will be using this as a backup slogan if Justified doesn’t quite cut it.

The saying needed to be something that meant a lot to both of us. So, we thought some more.

Finally, I was on to something. Some of Gizzy and I’s fondest memories are from high school, when we’d drive around the rich neighborhoods where all the hot boys lived and be stalkers. Chances are, they probably all saw us drive by and that’s why we are still single. (Yep yep! That is why HSC does not like me.)

Anyway, our stalking adventures were always sound-tracked with the one and only Justin Timberlake (also knowns as J-Tim, or Mr. J-T.) circa 2003, album “Justified.”

I thought of the songs from that CD, perhaps we could take one of the lyrics and use it as our catch phrase. But the more we discussed, it was impossible, because every single one of those songs is fucking awesome. So, we decided on Justified 2012 as our phrase.

Because everything we do in 2012 is going to be Justified, just because we did it, and it doesn’t need any additional reason for being.

Shortly after the new year, Mr. JT decided to up and get engaged and I was super worried. We could not have a role model that was ENGAGED for 2012. But, as always, Gizzy assured me that our role model is J-Tim circa 2003, when he was single and singing songs about Brittany Spears to go cry him a river.

So whatever with the engagement.

The glorious thing about this catch phrase is that I really don’t have to ask anyone’s opinion on anything I do, because I know it’s Justified. And as a reminder, Justified (the album) has become a regular soundtrack in the Lucky household.

Don’t be surprised if I’ve thought of a whole new dance number for “Senorita” by spring.

As a reminder to keep things Justified in 2012, Lucky posted the Like I Love You music video to my facebook wall.  It is a constant reminder to keep everything we do Justified and to not let guys take a huge crap on us this year, like they have in the past.  

Things about this music video by itself that can keep us motivated to be Justified in 2012:

1. J-Tim looking smoking hot, if we keep things Justified we will land a man like him.  Obvi.

2. The awesome late 90’s early 00’s fashion.  That 7-eleven t-shirt is CLUTCH to a Justified year and only people who are in fact Justified can pull off irony such as that.

3. The N’Sync style dance moves.  Seeing those will be a constant reminder that we deserve a hot guy, like a guy in a boyband.  A hot guy who can also do those moves is 100% Justified.

4. The black hat and leather pants explain themselves.

5. The fact that after watching J-Tim being all over that music video girl you are left with a horned up feeling inside.  Horned up feelings are synonyms to Justified.

That’s pretty much it.  I can’t focus enough after number 5 to continue listing awesome things about this video/album. 

Since this blog is a major part of our lives and we pretty much tell our readers everything that goes down we’d like you all to help take part in making this a Justified year for us.  If you see us falling back into our old ways of letting guys poop on us, just let us know, a simple – JUSTIFIED – will do and we’ll be back to our Justified reality.

And with that, we wish you a Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, because he was pretty effing Justified.


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Living Will: Name your best friend as your relationship power of attorney.

MmmmHALLO!!! Aloha and Mahalo! I’m back on the mainland and not psyched about it.  There’s snow on the ground and it sucks, it sucks donkey. 

The trip was nice and relaxing, of course I got annoyed with Stepdad more than once, but thankfully AT&T is aware that Hawaii is a state and has thoughtfully included it in their nationwide plan, so Lucky and I BBMed it up the whole time at no extra charge.

Which also means…drumroll please…badadadaaaa…. High School Crush and I texted the whole trip too.  During the months before the big Christmas extravaganza in Hawaii I was all… “Yeah I’m totally shutting off my phone and not taking my computer.  I’m disconnecting and it’s going to be awesome.” But you know what? Shit happens, December 16th happened, and I wouldn’t have been able to go 2 weeks without talking to Lucky either.

I was pleasantly surprised that HSC and I texted the whole time I was gone, and even more excited that he texted me right at midnight his time on New Years Eve to wish me a Happy New Year.  But as we know, all good things must come to an end.  We’re still talking. But after I got back, Lucky and I had a long talk about how the next step needs to happen.  We need to hang out again.

During our vacation text sesh HSC suggested that we get a group of friends together to go on a Vegas trip in March.  I mean, I’m all for it, but we need to hang out before that. Because what’s going to happen? We’re going to go to Vegas after seeing each other once in the past 5 years back in December with our BFF’s in tow, get drunk, and get married or some shit?  Plus, that’s at least 3 months away, oh and it will never happen. BUH!

So Lucky and I decided that I needed to try and make plans with him this weekend.  Wednesday night I asked what his plans were for the weekend.  He said he was staying in his city because he was sick of driving after the holidays. Which is understandable, BUT THIS IS OUR ONLY CHANCE BECAUSE SUNDAY I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE BIG CITY WHICH IS MORE THAN 5 HOURS FROM HIS CITY WHY DOES HE NOT GET THIS?! I replied being all yeah it sucks you’re tired of driving because you need to come to hometown this weekend to hang, his response? “I know! We need to plan the Vegas trip.” At first, we (Lucky and I, because she is in this relationship just as much as I am and needed to be consulted) were pissed off at this response.  Because it’s lame.  We took it as him saying, “I know that it sucks that I’m sick of driving, but we need to plan the Vegas trip so we can hang out on that trip.”  Which in retrospect means, “See ya never loser.” 

Then I reread it and thought, well maybe he’s saying he knows that he needs to come to hometown so that we can plan the Vegas trip and we can hang out whilst planning the trip.  After a few minutes of analyzing, Lucky and I remembered our New Year’s resolution: To not give a flying fuck.  And with that I gave her power of attorney to tell me what to do with this situation, because clearly I like this guy and clearly he doesn’t like me enough to do anything but text me.  So it was a mutual agreement that I can give it until January 16th (MLK Jr. Day) because that’s a 3 day weekend and a good opportunity for both of us to find a way to meet up in some city between us.  And if it doesn’t happen by then? Well the ball is in his court and I will reply to his texts but will not initiate any conversation or mention hanging out or future plans and/or keep letting this shit consume my life. If you guys haven’t heard, letting guys consume your life is so out in 2012.

So that was that.  Then yesterday I woke up all sick and flu like and I was still annoyed at his lame response after I put myself out there. I decided that January 16th would be moved to January 6th.  We hung out once and have been texting for 3 weeks.  I realize I wasn’t in the continental US for 2 of those weeks, but still – if he was interested he’d drive the hour and come back this weekend to hang out, right?

I like him and if he likes me I shouldn’t have to wait 2 months for a faux Vegas trip to see him.  It could be easily argued that there hasn’t been a lot of communication in the “Hey I like you, do you like me also?” department and that’s why nothing has happened.  But we’ve been texting for 3 weeks – it’s kind of a given that we’re both at least semi-interested right? So yeah, I’m going to back off and maybe he’ll get that I was trying to make this happen (after 12 years) and it’s been 3 weeks and I’m already tired of the shit and if he is for realz interested he needs to ask me when we can see each other.  

So guys, we can mark this day as the end of High School Crush, because he won’t ask me to hang out.  And yeah, it sucks, but I can’t keep chasing 14 year old Gizzy’s dreams, 26 year old Gizzy needs to get some of her own and move on.  End chapter.

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The night I FINALLY hung out with HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH…Part 3

I promise this is the last part to the high school crush saga… for now.  Last week I told you about how HSC asked me to get together with him  on a dateish thing.  

Pretty much he didn’t text me until around dinner time Saturday night, which ended up being ok because I was busy most of the day anyway.  I definitely would’ve had to cancel plans with my dad in order to hang out with him, and I was ok with that because dad would totes understand.  I mean, it’s HSC, how could he not?! HSC asked if I’d be coming back that way and I told him I couldn’t decide because I was tired, hungover, unsure if he really wanted me to, feeling like I might get my period, etc, etc, etc…  

I ended up not going, because like I told Lucky, it was getting late and we would probably just end up going out to a bar.  I didn’t have anywhere to stay and I didn’t #1 want to be forced to stay with him and #2 didn’t want him to feel like he had to invite me to stay with him.  Plus, all of my relationships start out with drinking and going out together and they were all bad and awful and  I hate those guys.  So it was completely necessary to break the cycle, especially since it would be with HSC.  And I feel like getting to know the next guy I have a one night stand with because that’s what respectful girls do.

So we texted the rest of Saturday night and then Monday I heard from him again, picking up Saturday night’s conversation where it left off.  Just about random stuff, our lives, what we’re up to and we got reacquainted via text for about 13 hours straight on Monday.  It’s been a minute since I’ve had a hearty texting convo with someone other than Lucky and I have to say I didn’t hate it.  Tuesday we continued to text and I finally saw a little wall come down, he got really dramatic about picking out Christmas presents for his nephews annnnd it was pretty awesome and cute hearing the drama that goes into deciding between Batman and Superman action figures. It was nice to see someone show their colors because out of the two of us, if you didn’t know, he is way more proper and well rounded. If that’s what you want to call it.  And I’m like the Phoebe.  

So, as of last Wednesday (when the post was written) the last time we talked was Tuesday night.  And we had said that when I came back from my trip we would try to get together.  I told Lucky it’s now or never.  If he doesn’t like me now, he’s never going to.  So when I get back, I’m going to text him and say this, verbatim:  “So hey what are you doing? Lets hang out.  I’ll come there, we can get some dinner, make some sex, and see what happens.”  Obvi kidding about the sex, kind of, I’m going to text that part in white so really it’s there but secretly.  And if he says no, well, then I’m never talking to him again.  And if he says yes, I’m going to put in my order.

I totally realize this talking and what not means way more to me than it does him, and 99.99% of this drama is in my head, but these are great strides compared to the past when we didn’t talk at all and I just day dreamed about our wedding while looking at his facebook.  God, I swear if he ever reads this, I will kill myself.  High School Crush is like a fine wine, these things take time, and it can’t be rushed and I can’t come on too strong because that would be like popping the bottle before it’s properly aged, it would just be bad and cheap.  And he would probably think I was crazy if I came at him with my boobs out or something, because he is the shyest, nicest guy, ever.

So there you have it.  I don’t know what’s going on and it’s kind of nice and exciting.  Last week when we were texting I was at work and my stomach was all crazy and then it dawned on me, I had butterflies.  Which has not happened in like 3 years, so I’ll take it even if it is just from a text.

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The night I FINALLY hung out with HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH… Part 2!

So the night with High School Crush continues… Last time on “I can’t believe this is my effing life right now!”: High School Crush might like me, because he wants to hang some more.

We made our way through the crowd to bar #2 – you know I had to do the classic grab on to his arm dealio to make sure we didn’t get separated.  At one point I thought we might hold hands, but then I realized we aren’t 14 anymore and I shouldn’t let teenage Gizzy’s dreams get the best of me.  Because goddamnit, that little brat got all the action!  I could only imagine the kind of scrutiny I’d get from all my friends (especially Lucky) if I reported back that I made my move and we just sat around and held hands all night.  Because that’s what I did with my boyfriend in middle school.  We didn’t talk, we just held hands and it was like OMG – did you see us holding hands for like 5 hours? Our hand sweat totally made sweat babies up in there.

Anywayzzzz…we got to bar #2 and HSC bought us all drinks and we basically started sharing our life stories.  Honestly I can’t even remember what all we talked about, I just know neither of us would shut up.  Alcohol is the best invention EVER.  At one point I was telling him about how I’m over the big city and I need to find a place that doesn’t have a babillion people runnin’ round.  And he was all oh where are you going to look – so I named off a few cities, including the one he lives in.  He freaked out being all omg yes you have to move to my city, that’s the only option, don’t even waste your time with the other places.  I do like the city that he lives in, but really him and my high school ex boyfriend are the only people I know that live there, so that would be weird.  And I’m only gonna move there if we can get married or if Lucky moves with me.  It’s kind of a crap shoot on if anything would even happen if we lived in the same city, unless we started dating and did the long distance thing for a while.  I wouldn’t even feel totally comfortable moving there right now and relying on him to just be a friend to hang out with.  Who knows what he’s got going on in that zip code.

Finally his friend got a word in and made us all start reminiscing about high school.  Which made me really nervous.  Like I thought I might vom, in my head I just kept thinking, Please do not mention the time I threw up on you, please do not mention the time I threw up on you. And he didn’t.  Instead they questioned me about Lucky hooking up with one of their friends in high school.  HAHA.  It’s honestly mine and Lucky’s favorite story because it was the closet freak and we’re like yeah he’s all talk and Lucky was all, “Shit man, I’m gonna do it.  Take me over there.”  So I did, and they hooked up on the side of his house, while I circled the block, and it is by far the funniest thing that ever happened.

About this time Betty asks HSC where he’s staying, he said he didn’t know yet but probably with his friend or closet freak.  Then she leans forward over me and whispers into his ear, “We’re going to be leaving within the hour, if you want to come back with her that’s fine, it’s your decision.”  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I acted like I didn’t hear what she said because I didn’t want any part in it.  I’m sorry, but we are 26 years old – I don’t need you to invite guys home for me.  And secondly, if we wanted to hook up we sure as hell wouldn’t be going back to do it in your daughter’s midget bunk bed. 

So I looked at his friend and then his friend says to me, “So Betty said you wanted to come here because your ex was here?” I thought I was going to kill her.  I played it off an was like, “Whaaaat? Who?” and he was like, “Oh maybe not.” But I do recall when Betty said she wanted to go to bar #2 I said to her, “You know who we’ll probably see there? Douchearoo, that’s like his spot.” And she was all for it because she thought he would buy us drinks, and I’m like no I don’t even want to talk to him.  Seriously, Betty can never be around a guy I like ever again.  Next year I’ll go to the party alone if I have to.

Anyway, HSC and I chatted for a few more then Betty said they were going to get the car.  They’d circle around and if I wanted to come back with them I should come out when they pulled up.  There was really no question – I told her I was coming back with them and not to leave me. She said if I didn’t come out she was assuming that HSC and I were going somewhere.  So the fact that she would just leave me there is really reassuring, what a great friend.  Again, we are not in college, we are not 19, and at this point if something happens between high school crush and I it’s probably going to be the start of a legitimate relationship, I don’t think either of us are really looking for a hump and dump.  So step off!

I said my goodbyes to the friend and told HSC I had to go, and he honest to god had a really disappointing look on his face.  I mean, we still had 30 minutes before the bar closed so I was upset about it too, but what can ya do?  Then, we hugged and had one of those moments where you’re like, do we kiss? Is this weird? We just stood there at looked each other, it felt like it was about 6 hours even though it was probably only like 5 seconds. 

Just as I was about to walk away HSC grabbed my arm and was like, “Hey what are you doing tomorrow? Do you wanna get some food and watch the games?” Uhhh yeah I do! So I said yes and left.

Not 5 minutes after I left he was already texting me about how he was excited to hang out the next day. 

….To be continued! Part 3 coming Tuesday! – I’m so lame.

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Life Decisions

Wednesday night Lucky and I had a VERY long talk (4 hours to be exact, on the phone) about how far we’ve come with not only ourselves, but our outlook on dating and our lives.  We rehashed our good times from high school, like driving by our crush’s houses on a Friday night listening to Justin Timberlake’s Cry Me a River. We even tossed around the idea of attending our 10 year high school reunion coming up in a few years (pending if we feel good about where we’re at and if we can get a solid guest list beforehand).  

This may not be the case for everyone, but especially around the Holidays I find myself looking back at situations I’ve faced (especially those from high school when I had a clear head) where if I had made 1 different decision my life would be completely different.

For example:

My last high school boyfriend – we’ll call him Daniel.  Daniel was/is the type of guy that I would probably like to date now (minus the crazy).  But, when I was 17 and just starting to figure out who I was (still not totally there yet!) I didn’t want some hopeless romantic guy who was obsessed with me and treated me like a queen to hold me back from life experiences.  Looking back I don’t know if he was as obsessed with me as he was possessive, but I’ll roll with it.  

He was a year older and had 1 serious girlfriend all through high school,  and all the girls thought he was cute and so nice and blah blah blah. So, when him and the serious gf broke up I snatched him up, and 6 months later he left for college  and we stayed together while I was left to face my senior year with the temptation of a newly single High School Crush.

 Anyway, Daniel was a planner.  He had this big plan that he was going to go to this all boys college that was half an hour from SHIT U, and we could drive back and forth to see each other, and then my sophomore year of college/his junior year, we would get married.   Now the thought of this makes me want to vomit.  He actually set up appointments to go look at rings while we were still in high school.  I always found a reason to cancel (because I didn’t want the ring, because I was embarrassed, with good reason) and it makes me ill thinking that I was like pretty much engaged to this guy.

I was kind of all for it at first.  I watched a lot of Rom Com’s and wanted the happily ever after that he wanted to give me.  But then, I got in a bad car accident in the fall of my senior year and it made me sane again.  Thank god.  I may have totaled my first car in the accident, but I feel like that accident saved me from a miserable life with him.  After the accident I couldn’t stand to have the guy touch me.  I hated the sound of his voice and it made me feel physically ill to be around him.  We stayed together for about 2 months after that and then I pulled the classic, “We need a break.”  To which he pretty much went psycho, and threatened to kill himself.  

I remember him showing up at my house one night while I was getting into my car when no one was home, and he wouldn’t let me pull out of my driveway, so I drove through the grass called a guy friend on my cell phone to tell him what was going on and that I was coming over, and basically had crazy psycho Daniel following me the whole way there.  

He even followed Lucky and I to Florida on the infamous senior spring break trip.  We’re talking like an 18 hour drive, that he did alone, not on his spring break, and didn’t pack anything.  Creepy.

At some point after the breakup I finally hashed it out with Daniel over the phone while he was back at college and I was safe at home.  I don’t remember exactly what was said, but I just know it was really bad because TO THIS DAY his friends STILL apologize to me for what he said.  We’re talking 10 years later.

Anyway, the point to all of this is, about a month after Daniel followed me to Florida he started dating this girl, Emily, that we also went to high school with.  You know how everyone kind of has 2 best friends?  Like Lucky has me and Buttons, I have Lucky and now Betty I guess, there used to be another best friend of mine.  I still consider her one of my best friends but we hardly ever talk. She’s married and has 2 kids and pretty much thinks I’m a hot mess whore.  Anyway, her two best friends are me and Emily, and Emily and Daniel began dating right after we broke up.  And now they are married, with 2 kids.  

So after knowing all of that, imagine how much fun best friend #2’s wedding was that Emily and I were both Bridesmaids in?  And Best Friend #2’s kids birthday parties and pretty much any other important events that go down. It’s like 100% the elephant in the room.  The funny part is, Emily and I have no problem with each other, we’re friends and we get along.  But Daniel and I have not said a word to each other since the breakup 10 years ago.  

ANYWAY, my point is… if I had stuck it out and stayed with Daniel, I could be Emily.  I could be married, living in hometown, as a housewife, with 2 kids.  And the thought of that PAINS me.  I know having a husband is all Lucky and I talk about, but I think if I was married to him the one thing I would wish for was #1 to have my life back and #2 to be single on a deserted island.  This poor girl, if she ever leaves him she’s pretty much as good as dead.  Cray cray.  

The thought of all of this just scares me.  I realize that everything happens for a reason and I made the decision to break up with him because we weren’t meant to be with each other.  But I often think about other decisions I’ve made, like what college to go to, and what city to accept a job in, and other decisions that may have paved a path for me that is steering me away from the person I’m supposed to be with.   But in light of the fact that I am perfect and ALWAYS make the right decisions, we’ll say whoever this dream guy of mine is that I’m supposed to be with, is clearly the one making the wrong decisions that are leading him away from me.  I don’t need THAT weighing on me every time I’m deciding to go right or left.



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Gizzy Investigates: Lucky and Gizzy’s High School Clique

First, I need to say how much I HATE Teresa Giudice.  I mean seriously, is she not the most condescending, hypocritical, dumb, bat shit crazy, bitch you’ve ever seen?  The Jersey Housewives Reunion was so awful and painful to watch because I want to jump through the screen and kill her.  Seriously, what a bitch, there are no words.  She is evil.

With that being said… Yesterday one of mine and Lucky’s guy friends from high school/high school crush’s high school best friend commented on a facebook status of mine, and the comment was in reference to something that happened during our Senior year spring break, also known as the spring break I puked on high school crush.  The comment got me thinking about our core crew for that Spring break and our regular group of friends our senior year.  Allow me to describe them, see if you notice a trend:

Closet Cyber Freak:  A quiet shy guy on the outside, but when he would MSN chat us in high school he would pull out all the stops and would become a huge sex FREAK.  Basically trying to have cyber sex with everyone.  Our senior year I dropped Lucky off at his house and circled the block so they could get a quick hanky panky sesh in on the side of his house.  We had a good laugh about it, and still do.  Current relationship status:  Single.

High School Crush:  You’ve all heard enough about him.  Current relationship status:  Single.

High School Crush’s High School Best Friend:  Lucky had a crush on him our freshman year.  He’s also the facebook commenter.  Relationship Status:  Single.

Fake ID Guy: Our most hilarious friend, he had his older brother’s (who was a MAJOR crush of Lucky’s in high school) license and would get us all booze with it.  Always full of surprises.  Relationship Status:  Single.

Military Cop:  He creeped on Lucky for a while, I think they may have even gone on a date or two until he got aggressive and creepy, but he’s just a really tall guy…. I don’t know what else to say.  Relationship Status:  Single

Crazy Lightweight Guy:  We all used to question if he was really getting drunk because it would take him like 2 sips to be wasted.  One night during our Senior Spring break someone gave him straight lemonade to see if he would pretend to be drunk, his comment?  “Guys! I think my tolerance is getting better, I don’t feel drunk!”  He’s a good guy and was one of mine and Lucky’s better friends in the group.  Relationship Status:  In a relationship

Valentines Day Fazoli Dinner Guy:   I dated this guy for a few months, he took me to dinner at Fazoli’s for Valentines day and him and Military Cop came on spring break and crashed in everyone’s room.  Which made everyone mad, but I still threw him a makeout the last night there.  Relationship Status:  Single

Lucky’s Spring Break Fling:  Lucky and this guy hit it off over spring break.  When we came back he was basically a big ass wipe to her and for that I curse him.  They had another steamy night the summer after our freshman year of college or sophomore, I can’t remember.  Relationship Status:  As far as I’ve heard, single, but he doesn’t have facebook.

There are a few other guys who were on the trip as well, but they didn’t frequent our group as much as everyone else after the trip so we’ll leave them out.  But, does anyone else see a pattern here? Between these guys, Lucky, and myself, only 1 out of 10 is even in a relationship.  While pretty much everyone else from high school is married and on their 2nd kid.  

It doesn’t make sense to me.  Not one of these guys is hideous or 900 pounds, has an awful personality, does drugs, is a secret serial killer, a criminal, or a man whore.  They’re all cute, pretty normal, successful guys, yet they’re in the same place as Lucky and myself. 

I just don’t get it.  Is there some way we could’ve all rubbed the “destined to be single forever” curse on to each other back in high school?  You would think that since we are approaching our late 20’s most of the group would at least be in a relationship.  But we have 1, 1 person from the group who isn’t single.  I don’t know what to make of this other than obviously Lucky and I are both meant to marry one of them.  Sorry Luck, fate beckons.  

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