What if I told you I might have a teeny tiny crush on the guy that works at the taco bell drive thru? I’m still trying to figure out if he is 18 (and because of this he is not on the 100 list.) So if this is the last post you ever get from me you can count on it being because Chris Hansen came to my house and I got arrested for statutory rape or some shit.
So it’s not that the taco bell drive thru guy is so hot that I feel the need to go there every day and get grade e beef tacos, because honestly he’s kind of greasy, he is just really, really nice. I’m sure the feeling will pass but for the time being I have never met a guy so nice. I pull up to the 2nd drive thru window and he’s all, “Hey I’m really sorry about your wait, how about some free cinnamon twists for your trouble?” I’m not going to pass up free cinnamon twists, you’ve gotta be crazy to do such a thing. So I take the twists, then he offers me a free soda, ok I’ll take the soda. I am eating taco bell after all, what’s the extra 400 calories and 55 grams of sugar going to do to me? Actually, it’ll probably give me diabetes, but oh well.
So while I’m sitting there waiting on my fiesta taco salad with no beans (remember kids, beans beans the magical fruit the more you eat the more you TOOOOOT, don’t want none that!) he asks if I’m cold because I had just gotten off work and was dressed like a hooker. I tell him no I just got off work, like he is expected to know what I do for a semi-living. Bless his little heart, he asks if I’m a nurse or something. I tell him that I do liquor promotions and he’s all, ohh so you’re a saleswoman and I giggle and say “tehehe yaa,” THEN, he hands me my bag and says, “Here you go, you have a great night and please drive safely.” Are those not the nicest things you’ve ever heard?! He was so genuine about it too!! Drive safely! I think most drive thru people would wish me to NOT drive safely after I give them the stink eye for not saying a damned word to me. Except the guy who runs the McDonalds drive thru cash register, he always tells me to have a “McFabulous day” I also think he’s gay. But anyway, this guy was honest to god really sorry that I had to wait on those goons in the kitchen to make my food, even though it was literally like 3 minutes and I’ve waited longer for a glass of ice water before.
Clearly it’s very difficult to impress me, which is why I’m so confused on why more guys don’t give it a shot. Really, I would be happy if a guy I was dating asked how my day was. I honestly don’t think it’s ever happened. Assholes. ***I’m just going to interrupt myself right here and change the subject because I can already feel that this is starting to get a little too “poor single me.” And I really don’t think anyone wants to see that come out.
Instead I’ll tell everyone about how I took myself on a second date in my car last night. Second dates are a little more comfortable where we let down our hair and show a couple of our true colors. We relax, you know eat somewhere that might make us look unattractive (see: Cheeburger Cheeburger, big IS better) and watch a movie we’ve already seen. Last night I took myself to KFC, I splurged, and got the 2 piece chicken meal with 2 sides (mac n cheese and mashed potato, extra starch please!) a biscuit and a large pepsi because it was a second date celebration. I also finished watching When In Rome, and may have pretended Josh Duhamel was on the date with me instead of myself. Instead of sitting up straight in the front seat in that awkward first date fashion I laid down in the backseat, time to get a little more cozy and cuddle up, with myself. I think it’s getting serious, I really like spending time with myself. We get along so well, there’s no fighting, no debate over what restaurant to go to, what movie to watch, who gets what side of the bed, and most important of all – I would NEVER cheat on myself. I think I may finally be in the perfect relationship, we’re really happy. So, hey everyone, save the date!