Tag Archives: leave me alone

How did I get so lucky?

As I’m sure you all can recall, I’ve had a tough time getting Snoop-Linus to leave me alone.  We’ve been broken up for over 2 years now, and I haven’t spoken to him in over 9 months.  He’s had like 3 or 4 different phone numbers in that time and always makes it a point to let me know his new number.  I haven’t saved the last few in my phone but I still always knew it was him calling/texting because of the area code. 

After some serious debating with Lucky, we decided that I should save the number as the girl I walked in on him cheating on me with (as a reminder and so it also doesn’t look like I have my ex callng me all the damn time) and put the ringer and text notifications as silent.  Done and done.

The last I heard/knew he was actively dating this girl and he had also told people that he dumped me to be with her.  Harrrrr OK!  The last time I checked I dumped his ass because he cheated on me a babillion times.  But whatevs, as long as I’m not with him I don’t give a flying fuck why people think we broke up.  Anyway… apparently this girl is a runner and every few months she gets bored with Snoop-Linus so she stops talking to him and dates someone else.  HAHA.  I cannot express in words how awesome this is.  But this also explains why he intermittently calls and texts me and acts like we are BFF when really I just wish he would die.

ALSO, my friend that told me that he is dating this whore bag also told me that a few months back she ran into this other girl that Snoop-Linus knew in college at a club and she revealed some pretty disgusting stuff about when he used to cheat on me with her.  The cheating count is up to 4 different girls now.  So this new found whore bag said that she used to come over during the day when I was at class or work and her and SL would hook up, she would and I quote, “Give him really good head and he would smack her ass and they had nice sex.” At this point I’m 200% over Snoop-Linus, so hearing this stuff doesn’t upset me in the slightest, it just disgusts me and makes me thank my lucky stars that I didn’t get STDs from him.  Honestly he just deserves to die and rot in hell, that’s the only way to simply put it.

So anyway, last week my aunt and cousins came up to the big city for a visit.  We went out to dinner and did some sightseeing and when I looked at my phone a few hours later I had a text and a missed call from Snoop-Linus.  Since the last time I posted about how he was annoying me I’ve gotten a few texts but no phone calls…

March 26th

Happy belated birthday!!!! Sorry lost another phone again in Miami this time lol. Hope all is well

April 8th

Happy Easter to you and your family!

April 29th

Heyy! How’s everything been going?! Been thinking about you a lot

And then the most recent, after the phone call last Tuesday June 14th

What up stranger?! Was calling to see how life is going.  Give me a call back.  Would love to catch up with ya! Hope all is well!

So he didn’t leave a voicemail with his call and sent that text instead.  I know the last time I posted about him I went off about why he has to act like we are BFFs.   He’s having a conversation with himself here because I haven’t replied to a text from him since October.  OCTOBER! And he still has the audacity to demand that I call him back.  Whatever douchebag, go die.

I got over being pissed about that and Wednesday night I went to a baseball game with Anth and his GF.  I came back all drunkity drunk and got into bed.  Then I heard my phone start ringing. It was midnight, so I thought that was pretty strange.  I pick it up and it’s Douchearoo.  Wow.  Seriously, what did I do to deserve a double whammy within a week?

I didn’t pick up his call, but I was actually kind of tempted.  It’s been YEARS since Douceharoo called me, I get texts from him every 6 months or so but a call has been unheard of.  I didn’t consider answering it because I so badly wanted to talk to him, I just honestly wondered what he could possibly have to say at midnight on a Wednesday.  Then I realized that I didn’t even need to hear whatever he had to say, because him calling me at midnight on a Wednesday said it all, that he is still the exact same person he was when I dated him.  Going out and getting shitfaced and then drunk dialing everything with a vagina in his phone.  Yep, yeppers.

I was halfway expecting to get a text from him the next day apologizing for the call but I never got anything.  At some point in the midst of all of this while I was at work one day Snoop-Linus threw up a picture on facebook of him looking like an idiot at some rave.  He tagged one of our mutual friends in it so even though we aren’t friends it came up on my mini-feed. I’ve had just about all the Snoop-Linus I can handle, so I blocked him. 

And apparently, even though he can see nothing but my profile picture – he still checks that on the reg. Last night around 10:30 I look over at my phone and see I have a missed call and voicemail.  Then I see it was him.  Gr-eat.

The voicemail…

“Hey it’s me.  Call me back.  Stop being weak and stop like blocking me on facebook girl.”

You all know me well enough to know my reaction to this.  What. The. Fuck.  This is the first time, in a long time, I’ve considered sending him a text saying that if he doesn’t leave me alone I’m going to get a restraining order.  It’s taking everything I have to not snap off and send him a big long message about how big of a schizophrenic psycho he is.  But I’m not doing it.  Deep breaths… deep breaths… and weekend.

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Call me once, shame on you, call me twice, still shame on you

I don’t even know what to do right now.  I can’t even think to write a proper introduction into today’s topic: still that my family is incestuous and I want to divorce them.

When I wrote Tuesday’s post, the last I had heard from my step-aunt and uncle’s nephew was that he was moving to California and would be busy for the next 3 years – so my family’s plans for me to have a bunch of incest babies wasn’t going to work.  Ugh, I want to barf.

Anyway, I wrote him back on Monday saying, “Oh wow… I can’t say I blame you, I would choose to move to California too.  Good luck with everything.”  I assumed that would be the end of it, because what’s the point in continuing to talk if he has no plans of moving here until I’m 30?

So I thought it was done, I could relax and tell the family that the incest just wasn’t meant to be.  Then, Monday night while I was out running some errands, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize, so I hit the ignore button.  When I listened to the voicemail it was him! “Hey Gizzy, this is Totes-Ok-With-Incest-Guy, Step-Aunt and Uncles FRIEND.  Please give me a call back if you have a chance, my number is 123-456-7890.” You read correctly, Step-Aunt and Uncles FRIEND… nice cover up, guy.

I immediately consulted with Lucky.  Should I call him back? Should I change my number? Should I text him and tell him I died? In case you didn’t know, Lucky always gives the best advice.  She told me not to call him for the exact reasons I mentioned above, he is busy for 3 years and I’m not interested, so no point in wasting everyone’s time, right? Right!

Well, then I started to think of all the shit I was going to get from my family if I didn’t call him back, just like the last time they set me up.  Last time I was in high school, and I blew the guy off because he wanted me to come watch him play basketball on Valentine’s day.  Scusie? No.  Instead I took a date with a guy who took me to Fazolis for dinner.  Clearly I made the right decision.  Anyway, if I know my Step-Dad’s family like I think I know them, they are asking this guy for the play by play of what we’re talking about, when we’re hanging out, and what we have to do to get The Law to approve our future incestuous marriage.  So if he called me and I didn’t return the call then I would be hearing about it this weekend at our family Christmas get together.

When I got home from running errands I told Anth all about my pickle and gave him 5 scenarios of what I thought the guy could be calling for:

  1. He’s rearranged his plans to come into town before I leave on vacation so that we can meet and thought it necessary to make use of my phone number that I gave him to be polite.
  2. He wants to get to know me and thus the phone call is just to chit chat.
  3. He saw Lucky’s post on my facebook wall about how we wish guys would CALL and ask for a date properly, so he was calling to do just that.
  4. My family invited him to our family Christmas this weekend and he wants to either A.) Let me know he’s coming or B.) Get to know me before we meet face to face in front of my entire family.
  5. He decided not to move to California because I’m so HAWT.

After cackling, calling me crazy, and telling me that only scenarios 1 and 2 were realistic, he said if I felt like I needed to call the guy back I should do it while I’m at work so that if it gets weird I can say I have to get back to business.  The first useful thing Anth has ever said.  Thank you!!  So that was my plan, until I got to work the next day and decided that I really just didn’t want to call.  And I’m an A-DULT so if I don’t want to call I don’t have to.  So I didn’t.

After that, I thought I was in the clear – he’d get the picture and if my family questioned me on not calling him back I would tell them that somehow all of the Doctors I work for leave me a bunch of messages on my voicemail so I never check it.  Lying is always the answer.  Especially when it comes to extended family.  They have no business mulling around in my dating life.

So it was settled, I’d lie, and if the lies didn’t work, I would lie some more.  That is, until the guy called me again last night, and I didn’t answer again.   I feel like I could easily get away with not calling him once, but twice is a little questionable.   I didn’t call him back last night, but now I’m wondering if I should.  And now if I do, what do I say about ignoring not one, but two of his calls? I know I’m not interested, but I do feel bad.  What do you guys think?  Should I call back and tell him I’m busy for the foreseeable future or just let it go and hope he doesn’t call again?

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