Tag Archives: life

14. List your secret behaviors.

LUCKY
  1. Eating whatever I want/weird foods. Since I am single and live alone, I can eat whatever I want. Marshmallows with peanut butter? Yep. Chips and dip for dinner? Sure. I usually eat pretty healthy, so most of the time I’m just thankful that no one is around to see my boring meals (last night I had turkey cutlets and butternut squash).
  2. Wearing no pants. My fuck buddy knows this about me, but that’s about it. When I’m at home, it’s pants off, dance off.
  3. Dance parties/concerts for Blanche. It is not a rare day when I turn on some tunes, grab the broom and lip sync my ass off, complete with dance moves. I sometimes even give shout outs to no one, “This song is dedicated to…” Yeah. That’s real.

GIZZY

Who’s scared to read this after yesterday’s confession? Bwhahaha.

  1. Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show in my every day life.
  2. I like to watch videos of my celebrity crushes before I go to bed so I have dreams of hanging out with them.
  3. My dog and I do a choreographed dance number every day when I get home from work. Ok, I dance and he jumps around following me.

 

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13. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

LUCKY

I don’t know if there’s one thing that stands out above the rest. When I was in second grade I pissed my pants at school, which was really embarrassing, but who cares now? I also barfed at school when I was young, but once again, who cares?

I feel like I’ve done some embarrassing stuff during sex (attempting to show a guy the finished product in my mouth only to have it fall out all over myself)<—too much?? (Editors Note: OMG!)

I farted once in front of D, it was silent, but DEADLY and he was pretty grossed out, but he was a bastard so now I don’t care…

GIZZY

Psh. I have done A LOT of embarrassing stuff. I could write a 50,000 word book on all the embarrassing stuff I’ve done. But I’ll just tell you one story that I haven’t ever confessed to anyone, enough time has passed now that I can be like eh whatever. COLLEGE.

My first college boyfriend and I had just broken up but decided to “stay friends” and his frat was having an 80s themed party the following weekend.  My roommates and I got all decked out in our 80s garb, I was looking good which put me in the mood to drink.  I don’t know how many beer bongs I took, probably a hundred. But it ended up being one of the drunkest nights of my life. I caused a fist fight because I was so drunk that when I saw one of my good guy friends my legs went running to hug him but the top half of me stayed in place, causing me to fall backwards flat on my back and sling my full beer all over the crowd behind me.  I of course was oblivious to the fight that had started because everyone in the crowd were all blaming each other saying the others had thrown a beer on them. 

There were these stupid slutty freshman there that I hated (I was a sophomore), that would always come to the frat and flirt with my boyfriend (while we were still dating). Of course that night they hung out in his room all night and he didn’t care about me and practically ignored me the whole night. Which caused me to do even more beer bongs. At some point in the night (early) I either laid down or was placed on the BRAND NEW couch (the pledges worked hard to buy the couch) that was still in a party area but not the most crowded party area. I laid there while various people came to keep me company and talk to me throughout the night because I was too drunk to walk. At some point I barfed down the side of the couch. A guy that I was good friends with had come to clean it off the couch, because it was new and people were freaking out about it. Throughout the course of the night my skirt worked its way up around my stomach, so I was just laying on the couch in fishnets with my underoos hanging out for all to see. As the guy was cleaning the couch he tried pulling the skirt down so no one could see my goods, which made me think he was trying to rape me or some shit and got him slapped in the face. A few minutes later the rest of my body let loose and I shit my fishnets.  Uh yes, this is why you should not let your daughters go away to college. Thankfully everyone thought that was also puke and they cleaned it up while I laid in it.

Eventually my stupid exboyfriend came down to walk me home (it was around 4am). During our walk he put his face right next to the literal shit all over my skirt to smell it and said, “It looks like you sat in something, I can’t tell what it is.” I was all, “Hmm yeah I don’t know.” Then proceeded to make out with him with puke breath and invite him to my room to watch a movie, to which he declined. Being upset about my rejection, I went into my apartment where my roommates were all asleep, emptied out my shit filled underwear onto our bathroom rug (and left only the shit there), and took a shower.  

When my roommates and I all woke up in the morning we found the shit on the bathroom rug which got blamed on my roommate’s boyfriend’s dog who was staying with us for the weekend.  Another roommate also woke up to discover that her tv had been knocked off of her dresser and her room TPed.  I don’t remember doing either of those things, but I can only assume that I was the guilty party. Shame.

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12. What’s your opinion on the Miley Cyrus ‘breakdown’?

LUCKY

I happen to LOVE me some Miley!

I do not, one bit, think that Miley is having a breakdown. The MTV performance was rehearsed and I thought it was quite tame compared to things we’ve seen from other artists in the past.

There was a great article about her in Rolling Stone a few issues back (she is on the cover) where she explains that she’s worked her ass off and now she’s basically just “fucking off.” …And I’m pretty damn jealous of that!

GIZZY

I agree with Lucky, it’s not a breakdown. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and it’s working like a charm. Guys, she’s just being Miley! I have loved Miley from day 1, this is a known fact. In fact Lucky actually bought me her book, “Miles To Go” when it came out years ago for my birthday. And it’s amazing.  

Also, she is 20 years old and people need to give her a damn break. When I was 20 I was getting blackout drunk (not much has changed), dancing on top of tables, smoking weed, and making out with random frat dudes too and that was pretty tame compared to what my peers were up to at 20. Everyone needs a chance to get their wild party days out of their system, it just sucks for her that hers are plastered all over US weekly.

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11.Describe what you think your life will be like in 5,10 & 20 years.

LUCKY

GAH. This is so scary to me.

Part of me feels like so much happens in a year, so it’s so difficult to predict, but then again, I’ve had my same job for close to 6 years (wow, that was hard to type) and I’m still single after 12 years of dating, so…

In five years, I’d say it’s still possibly likely that I’ll be at this job because I have very little motivation. Perhaps I’ll live in a different place, have different friends, maybe I’ll meet a guy (ha. ha. ha.), but I don’t see any DRASTIC changes…

Ten years? Shit. I hope I’m not still single. I hope I’m not still living in the same spot…and DAMN I hope I’m not doing the exact same job.

In Twenty years…I don’t even know. I hope I’m a little more stable all around. I hope my finances are in order and I hope I’m happy with whatever my life brings. That’s my wish always; that I can be happy and satisfied in my own skin, doing whatever it is I’m doing.

GIZZY

This is going to be a giant list of how I HOPE my life is in 5, 10, and 20 years. With a small bit of actual reality mixed in.

In 5 years I will be 33, which isn’t THAT scary of an age. But I will say that I know I will have more money because all my student loans will be paid off, and my car will be paid off (unless I wreck it and have to buy a new one, knock on wood).  So I am actually kind of looking forward to 5 years from now because it’ll be nice to have more disposable income. I would like to think that I’ll have found a nice well rounded guy that is hot and doesn’t look at or think about other women (ie Zac Efron. P.s. Zac, call me! ;)). I’m starting to job hunt now in a city across the country that I love and have have always wanted to live in. So hopefully I’ll have made that happen by then.  But I would really like to think I won’t still be doing accounting/finance stuff, and I’ll have found my true passion and be working toward new goals in that.

In 10 years I will be 38, which is scary because that’s almost 40. If I’m going to have kids I should have had them by this point, so I think my life will be busied by work during the day and taking care of kids and (hopefully) a husband in the evenings.

In 20 years I’ll be 48. That is fucking scary to think about. That means my Mom will be 71 and my Dad 73, and I don’t like the thought of them getting into their 70s and 80s because that’s when most people die. So I’m not going to think about it, I’m just going to say that since I’m the bomb.com, I will be retired and vacationing all over the World.  With my husband Zac Efron.

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10. What’s something you’ve learned about yourself this year?

SORRY GUYS! I dropped the ball and forgot about day 10. Please forgive me.

LUCKY

Every year around this time, like most people I’m sure, I think about the year gone by. And each year, I think, “Wow, this year has really been tough.”

And it’s true, I’ve been through a lot these past few years, and this year is no different. But I’m actually starting to realize just how STRONG I am. I made it through a really, really tough relationship that could’ve changed the course of my life forever if I didn’t get out.

But I’m out, and even though I am still healing from it, I know things are getting better.

The other part of this question is things we’re still learning about ourselves…and one thing I’m still learning and working on is being non-judgmental. For the most part, I am free of judgment, but I know it creeps up sometimes, and it’s really something I’m working on.

GIZZY

I’ve learned that at this juncture in my life I’m a better me when I’m alone.  And by alone I mean boyfriend/crushless. Since I started high school I have always had a guy, a guy that I liked, a guy I was dating, sometimes multiple guys. In high school I felt like I kind of had my pick of any guy I wanted, and I called the shots. I didn’t care about what my boyfriends were doing, who they were talking to, and shitty things they did didn’t upset me because I didn’t tolerate it.  I knew that I was the shit and that I treated them well and they couldn’t find better. So if they did something shitty I dumped them on the spot and moved on to the next guy.  In college those waters started to get murky because I didn’t have my pick of any guy which made me care more/obsess about the guys that I did date, mostly over their every move thinking they were all cheating on me (I was right, they were!). But the last few years I’ve missed the carefree girl that did whatever she wanted with no regard to someone who didn’t treat her right and I feel like this year I’ve started to get that piece of me back.  I finally “learned” that the adult me is just as awesome.  I also learned that not giving a fuck is way easier than giving a fuck about people that treat you badly.

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9. If you could change 1 decision you’ve made, what would it be?

I’ve really thought a lot about this.

And really, there’s not many things in my life that I regret doing. I think the saying is true, “You’ll regret what you DIDN’T do, rather than what you did.”

And if I could change one decision, it would be my choice to stay in this state after graduation. Since I moved 14 hours from home right after high school, it wasn’t like I hadn’t done it before.

I remember applying to jobs all over the country because I wanted to move…but I don’t really think I gave it a good try. And then when the job I have now came along, I took it, and here I am…still.

I know I am still young, and I don’t have any REAL attachment here, and I don’t know, maybe soon I can gather up the courage to pack my bags and really shake things up!

I don’t know that I have one specific decision that I regret, but in general I regret never sticking with SOMETHING.

I have dabbled in a lot of different hobbies: gymnastics, basketball, music, tennis, acting, writing, running, etc… so I’m “okay” at all of those things, but I really wish I would have stuck with something when I was younger so I could be like really fucking awesome at it now.  It would be even more awesome if I would have stuck with something that I could have made a career out of, because now I’m an accountant and it’s not fun and really sucks.  

I keep telling myself that I’ll start writing songs on the piano again and things like that.  But what single parent (to one puppy) who has a full time job has time for that? Sigh.

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8. What’s a talent or superpower you wish you had and why?

I’ve always, ALWAYS wished that I could be invisible so I could spy on people…I don’t care if you all finally realize how nosey I am! I want to be Alex Mac, minus the whole silver puddle thing.

I thought about being invisible too, for the exact same reason as Lucky. But I think I would love to be able to fly because I’m scared of flying on planes so I think I would be less scared of dying this way. Also I want to be able to see the World! I’m a cheeseball, I know.

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7. Describe your perfect man/woman.

These are all so HARD.

Ever since all of the stuff with D, I feel really defeated in love.

I used to have this list of all these things I wanted in a man. And sometimes, I’ve gotten some of the things on that long list. But no matter who or what, that guy turns out to be an asshole. And now I’m in this place where I associate all of those good qualities I once wanted, with the bad ones that I got.

Like, yeah he looked great in a baseball hat…but he was controlling.

Hrmph.

So…my dream guy…looks like Zac Efron…smells like Abercrombie (or anything mountain-lodgey)…is sweet to me… thinks I’m awesome… tells me I’m beautiful… is funny… smart… honest… doesn’t lie to me or cheat on me… actually he pretty much is Zac Efron’s character in the Lucky One, okay, I said it.

The older I get and the more single I become the more convoluted my fantasy man becomes. Right now I’d like it to be a mix between Zac Efron, Bruno Mars, Ryan Gosling, and Harry Styles. A little piece of each of them.

I’d like everything about Zac Efron, his face, his abs, his penis (assuming it’s big, but not too big, the perfect peen). Bruno Mars’ personality, sense of humor, and voice. Bruno’s sense of humor is kind of he doesn’t take life too seriously and can make fun of himself, and I really love it and that’s what makes him so attractive to me. Any trait the guy could get from Ryan Gosling would be fine, because the man is perfect. Harry Styles’ humbleness and it would be ok if the guy looked like him a little too. 

On a non-celebrity level I really just want someone who is honest. In all of my relationships that has been the one thing that has always been missing.  Guys are either not honest about where they’ve been/who they’ve been talking to or aren’t honest about their feelings and what they want, and right now that’s at the top of my list. Right below that is someone who is fun/funny and not a serious Debbie Downer.  It’s pretty rare for me to be in a bad mood or to be super serious about anything at all. I laugh at everything, so I really want someone who just has fun all of the time in any situation.  Someone who can take a joke and can dish them right back out would fit right in with me.  I’d also like to find a guy who is secure and confident with who he is.  The more I date the more I realize guys are way more insecure than girls, and it’s a huge buzzkill. Any guys that want to date me I really just need 3 things – be hot as fuck, funny, and honest. If I can find a guy like that I’m confident we will have a lifetime of happiness and really attractive children.

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6. If you could invent one thing, what would it be and why?

I’m sure this is probably already a thing…but I have always wanted to invent natural peanut butter in a can. You know, like cheese in a can, but peanut butter and actually healthy. Because I really love to eat peanut butter and think about how much easier it would be if you could spray it onto your apple slices or celery sticks???

I pack a jar in my lunch almost every day to eat with my apple and I have to bring a butter knife and then the sticky knife is in my lunchbox.

And yes, I realize I’m almost 30 and just said “Lunchbox.”

This is really tough for me because I’m not that creative and I’ve been racking my brain all day to try and think of something, but the clock is ticking so I’m just going to have to pull something out of my ass. I don’t even know. A belt that will hold your cup/water bottle/starbucks. It would look hideous, but think about how awesome having that free hand would be while you’re getting into your car, shopping, and paying for shit.  Then my invention would be featured on that lame invention commercial. 

P.s. I’m going to add in a shameless plug here, because I can.  We just started using bloglovin, and if you don’t know what it is go check it out at bloglovin.com, it’s pretty awesome. But make sure you follow us first!

 

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5. What are your 5 biggest fears and why?

LUCKY
    1. Living/dying alone. I think you all probably know this one. And I’m not really sure WHY I’m terrified of living the rest of my life, and ultimately dying, alone…I guess it’s human nature to want to couple up and be together, right?
    2. Masks. This is why I hate Halloween. This isn’t just a, “Oh I don’t like masks” thing. I’m terrified of them. Like it’s not even funny to me. According to my mom, I’ve hated them always, and I think it’s just a constant fear of not knowing who people truly are.
    3. Not reaching my dreams. Like most people, my dreams have changed a lot over the years. I’m still not sure what exactly they are. But I know I want to stay writing and stay creating and I hope one day, doing that will pay my bills, in  a way that I’m never feeling like I have to “work.”
    4. Being bitter. I know I’ve been hurt a lot in my past and I’m still working to move past it. But if I have to be single forever, I at least hope I can be a pleasant, happy person to be around and not bitter and jealous.
    5. Complacency. This kind of goes with #3, but a lot of my coworkers have just let their brains turn to mush and I’m terrified of that. I’m always trying to stay on top of things and stay creative so that I’m never complacent.

GIZZY

Losing my parents, dying, going blind, spiders, and snakes. BOOM next question. Oh right, I have to tell you why. Alright here goes…

1. Losing my parents. I’ve heard people use this exact phrase on Dr. Phil and Opera about a million times, but it really sums it up.  I don’t know how to live in a World where my parents don’t. I know one day I’ll have to do it (unless I go first, eck!) but it really brings me to tears even thinking about it.

2. Dying. I mean, who isn’t afraid of dying? Except Jesus. You know I don’t want to get all philosophical and spiritual here, but I get super weirded out when I think about how life will go on without me and what really happens to you/your spirit when you die. Alright, enough about death. Damn.

3. Going blind.  I have horrible eyesight and I am honestly terrified that one day I will go completely blind.  I couldn’t imagine not being able to see the people I love, watch tv (of course), and see all the beautiful things in the world.

4. Spiders. Okay, so once when I was in high school I woke up in the middle of the night to a gust of wind over my face.  I was thinking I needed to close my window or shut my ceiling fan off, but when I opened my eyes there was a gigantic spider hanging over my face. I still have nightmares about this and to this day when I see a spider I cry like a baby.

5. Snakes. I think it’s because they hide and they don’t blink, but they fucking creep me out. I’ve done stupid things to try and conquer this fear. Like this (side note: at the time I was like “I’M BRITNEY BITCH!” that was the only way I could talk myself into doing this):

photo-2

britney

(P.S. Mines bigger.)

But yes, that is a giant python around my neck. I should have been high off my ass when I did that, but I wasn’t, and I still can’t believe I actually did it.  However, take note that I am standing all awkward and refused to actually touch it, somehow that made it ok but didn’t help with my fear at all.

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