Tag Archives: models

Not for straight dudes.

Well here we are. It’s fucking Valentine’s Day.

And my plan this year was to ignore it. In general, it’s a day just like any other. I still hit my snooze button about 5 too many times. I drove the same route to work, saw the same shitty people once I arrived at work, and when my obligation is over at 5, I’ll hit the gym, just like any other day.

And you know what? I’ll watch the same TV shows I did last Thursday and I’ll go to bed, toss and turn, until my alarm goes off tomorrow.

Each year, even years when I’ve had a boyfriend, I’ve dreaded this day. Some years, I’m like, “Hey I have a boyfriend!!!!!! Finally I don’t have to hate myself and this day,” and then I end up hating myself and my boyfriend because he is an asshole.

And some years, I’m like “Yes! I will wear all black and go to the bars and drink cosmos and be happy for my single life because I am awesome.”

And years, like this year, I will try my damnedest to ignore it. But it’s still there. And it still hurts. Even if it is a dumb holiday, it still fucking hurts.

Good for you, couples. You get your day to show each other how much you care. It’s kind of like how you get to do that on your anniversary, or on each other’s birthdays, or on Christmas Day, or Thanksgiving Day, or on random Tuesdays when it’s raining outside. Because on all of those days, singletons feel like shit, and we wish we were you.

So today, I hate being single. And I don’t care how pathetic it sounds because it’s true. And I was going to write about something totally different. Then, I thought about writing a post for Gizzy, because she’s the closest thing I have to any sort of Valentine (no-homo). Then, I just realized that not much is going to cure my blues today, except for one thing.

Pictures of hot dudes surrounded by Lorem Ipsum type. Enjoy.

zaaaaac-zac-efron-31338261-700-825Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Nam cursus. Morbi ut mi. Nullam enim leo, egestas id, condimentum at, laoreet mattis, massa. Sed eleifend nonummy diam. Praesent mauris ante, elementum et, bibendum at, posuere sit amet, nibh. Duis tincidunt lectus quis dui viverra vestibulum. Suspendisse vulputate aliquam dui. Nulla elementum dui ut augue. Aliquam vehicula mi at mauris. Maecenas placerat, nisl at consequat rhoncus, sem nunc gravida justo, quis eleifend arcu velit quis lacus. Morbi magna magna, tincidunt a, mattis non, imperdiet vitae, tellus. Sed odio est, auctor ac, sollicitudin in, consequat vitae, orci. Fusce id felis. Vivamus sollicitudin metus eget eros.

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Mauris vel lacus vitae felis vestibulum volutpat. male-models-17Etiam est nunc, venenatis in, tristique eu, imperdiet ac, nisl. Cum sociisnatoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. In iaculis facilisis massa. Etiam eu urna. Sed porta. Suspendisse quam leo, molestie sed, luctus quis, feugiat in, pede. Fusce tellus. Sed metus augue, convallis et, vehicula ut, pulvinar eu, ante. Integer orci tellus, tristique vitae, consequat nec, porta vel, lectus. Nulla sit amet diam. Duis non nunc. Nulla rhoncus dictum metus. Curabitur tristique mi condimentum orci. Phasellus pellentesque aliquam enim. Proin dui lectus, cursus eu, mattis laoreet, viverra sit amet, quam. Curabitur vel dolor ultrices ipsum dictum tristique. Praesent vitae lacus. Ut velit enim, vestibulum non, fermentum nec, hendrerit quis, leo. Pellentesque rutrum malesuada neque.

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Mario-Loncarski-male-models-24363893-900-1286

Phasellus felis dolor, scelerisque a, tempus eget, lobortis id, libero. Donec scelerisque leo ac risus. Praesent sit amet est. In dictum, dolor eu dictum porttitor, enim felis viverra mi, eget luctus massa purus quis odio. Etiam nulla massa, pharetra facilisis, volutpat in, imperdiet sit amet, sem. Aliquam nec erat at purus cursus interdum. Vestibulum ligula augue, bibendum accumsan, vestibulum ut, commodo a, mi. Morbi ornare gravida elit. Integer congue, augue et malesuada iaculis, ipsum dui aliquet felis, at cursus magna nisl nec elit. Donec iaculis diam a nisi accumsan viverra. Duis sed tellus et tortor vestibulum gravida. Praesent elementum elit at tellus. Curabitur metus ipsum, luctus eu, malesuada ut, tincidunt sed, diam. Donec quis mi sed magna hendrerit accumsan. Suspendisse risus nibh, ultricies eu, volutpat non, condimentum hendrerit, augue. Etiam eleifend, metus vitae adipiscing semper, mauris ipsum iaculis elit, congue gravida elit mi egestas orci. Curabitur pede.

Maecenas aliquet velit vel turpis. Mauris neque metus, malesuada nec,1338831642_zac-efron-lg ultricies sit amet, porttitor mattis, enim. In massa libero, interdum nec, interdum vel, blandit sed, nulla. In ullamcorper, est eget tempor cursus, neque mi consectetuer mi, a ultricies massa est sed nisl. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos hymenaeos. Proin nulla arcu, nonummy luctus, dictum eget, fermentum et, lorem. Nunc porta convallis pede.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Nam cursus. Morbi ut mi. Nullam enim leo, egestas id, condimentum at, laoreet mattis, massa. Sed eleifend nonummy diam. Praesent mauris ante, elementum et, bibendum at, posuere sit amet, nibh. Duis tincidunt lectus quis dui viverra vestibulum. Suspendisse vulputate aliquam dui. Nulla elementum dui ut augue. Aliquam vehicula mi at mauris. Maecenas placerat, nisl at consequat rhoncus, sem nunc gravida justo, quis eleifend arcu velit quis lacus. Morbi magna magna, tincidunt a, mattis non, imperdiet vitae, tellus. Sed odio est, auctor ac, sollicitudin in, consequat vitae, orci. Fusce id felis. Vivamus sollicitudin metus eget eros.

abercrombie-model

Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. In posuere felis nec tortor. Pellentesque faucibus. Ut accumsan ultricies elit. Maecenas at justo id velit placerat molestie. Donec dictum lectus non odio. Cras a ante vitae enim iaculis aliquam. Mauris nunc quam, venenatis nec, euismod sit amet, egestas placerat, est. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Cras id elit. Integer quis urna. Ut ante enim, dapibus malesuada, fringilla eu, condimentum quis, tellus. Aenean porttitor eros vel dolor. Donec convallis pede venenatis nibh. Duis quam. Nam eget lacus. Aliquam erat volutpat. Quisque dignissim congue leo.

Mauris vel lacus vitae felis vestibulum volutpat. David-Gandy-hot-guys-3580748-428-600Etiam est nunc, venenatis in, tristique eu, imperdiet ac, nisl. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. In iaculis facilisis massa. Etiam eu urna. Sed porta. Suspendisse quam leo, molestie sed, luctus quis, feugiat in, pede. Fusce tellus. Sed metus augue, convallis et, vehicula ut, pulvinar eu, ante. Integer orci tellus, tristique vitae, consequat nec, porta vel, lectus. Nulla sit amet diam. Duis non nunc. Nulla rhoncus dictum metus. Curabitur tristique mi condimentum orci. Phasellus pellentesque aliquam enim. Proin dui lectus, cursus eu, mattis laoreet, viverra sit amet, quam. Curabitur vel dolor ultrices ipsum dictum tristique. Praesent vitae lacus. Ut velit enim, vestibulum non, fermentum nec, hendrerit quis, leo. Pellentesque rutrum malesuada neque.

Nunc tempus felis vitae urna. Vivamus porttitor, neque at volutpat rutrum, purus nisi eleifend libero, a tempus libero lectus feugiat felis. Morbi diam mauris, viverra in, gravida eu, mattis in, ante. Morbi eget arcu. Morbi porta, libero id ullamcorper nonummy, nibh ligula pulvinar metus, eget consectetuer augue nisi quis lacus. Ut ac mi quis lacus mollis aliquam. Curabitur iaculis tempus eros. Curabitur vel mi sit amet magna malesuada ultrices. Ut nisi erat, fermentum vel, congue id, euismod in, elit. Fusce ultricies, orci ac feugiat suscipit, leo massa sodales velit, et scelerisque mi tortor at ipsum. Proin orci odio, commodo ac, gravida non, tristique vel, tellus. Pellentesque nibh libero, ultricies eu, sagittis non, mollis sed, justo. Praesent metus ipsum, pulvinar pulvinar, porta id, fringilla at, est.

abercrombie model 7Phasellus felis dolor, scelerisque a, tempus eget, lobortis id, libero. Donec scelerisque leo ac risus. Praesent sit amet est. In dictum, dolor eu dictum porttitor, enim felis viverra mi, eget luctus massa purus quis odio. Etiam nulla massa, pharetra facilisis, volutpat in, imperdiet sit amet, sem. Aliquam nec erat at purus cursus interdum. Vestibulum ligula augue, bibendum accumsan, vestibulum ut, commodo a, mi. Morbi ornare gravida elit. Integer congue, augue et malesuada iaculis, ipsum dui aliquet felis, at cursus magna nisl nec elit. Donec iaculis diam a nisi accumsan viverra. Duis sed tellus et tortor vestibulum gravida. Praesent elementum elit at tellus. Curabitur metus ipsum, luctus eu, malesuada ut, tincidunt sed, diam. Donec quis mi sed magna hendrerit accumsan. Suspendisse risus nibh, ultricies eu, volutpat non, condimentum hendrerit, augue. Etiam eleifend, metus vitae adipiscing semper, mauris ipsum iaculis elit, congue gravida elit mi egestas orci. Curabitur pede.

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Our grown up Christmas list.

It’s Christmas Eve Eve! One of my favorite holidays of the year…

I know most of you probably have the day off, or perhaps you’re already traveling to your holiday destination…But I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you without a Christmas post of some sort.

Since writing a Christmas list is one of my favorite pastimes, here it is—Lucky & Gizzy’s Holiday Wish List 2011:

This year, I wish:

  • John Mayer would finally text me, confess his undying love for me, then bake me a cake asking me to marry him on it. In the icing.
  • I would win the lottery. And that it would be tax-free.
  • I could meet Gavin DeGraw.
  • That a new job opportunity would arise. To be Justin Bieber’s manager.
  • I could learn how to play the guitar. Overnight.
  • BEX’s apartment would collapse. With him inside.
  • I could be a co-host for Live With Kelly.
  • I could be a cover model. That’s it.
  • I would wake up in Europe. With this guy:
  • That I could get an invite. Tonight. To this party:

If you really want to know, I asked for a pair of sweat pants of Victoria’s Secret this year. That’s how fucking lazy and pathetic I am. I also thought long and hard about what I REALLY REALLY wanted under my tree this year. My answer? A gift from John Mayer was the one thing I wanted. So, I bought myself a gift, wrapped it, and put on the tag “To Lucky, From John Mayer.”

This year I wasn’t sad about being single, so you know that’s all I can ask for.  I’m happy being a lonely old spinster and next year I’m going to get a few dozen cats and well, then I’ll be ready to die.

But if you’re going to twist my arm, I also wish:

  • For world peace and to end hunger  (There I said it, now I totes deserve the rest of the things on my list because I am a good person.)
  • To come home from vacation and have my car be stolen, same goes for that frat house I live in.
  • That my family didn’t think it was necessary to put everything we own in the attic while we are away on vacation.  They are just sure someone is going to break in to steal Ella’s American Girl Dolls.
  • For High School Crush to make a move so we can get married already, if I can’t have this I’d like for Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes to breakup so that I can have him to make me feel better.
  • To wake up Christmas morning and be famous.  And rich.
  • That we get a babillion hits this month.  Or that we get freshly pressed, we stopped cussing so much for that shit!
  • That people don’t notice when I start to slowly incorporate an Australian accent into my speech.
  • That I don’t kill my family on this vacation we’re on.
  • That the Chipmunks from Alvin and the Chipmunks would come to life and be my friends/slaves.
  • My friend who has a record deal would write a theme song to my life, record it, and help me make the video for it.  Just so that when I’m feeling down about myself I can watch it and be like OHH HAHA that’s right, that is my life.
I really did ask for all those things this year.  But not from my parents, from Jesus.  I typically don’t make a Christmas list for my parents because they always hand me wads of cash on Christmas and call it day. And you know what, money can buy happiness, so keep it comin rentals.  So when I do ask for something I always ask Jesus to hook a sistah up because he’s The Man, and I only ask for things that will legitimately make me cooler a better person for mankind.

Done and Done.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukuh, and a Joyous Kwanzaa to all (you little jerks)!

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Predicament. And then some.

I had a (2, actually) completely different post planned out and written for today, but then something happened and my creepy gene kicked in.  I hope everyone read our guest posts yesterday on SimplySolo and JustMarriedGirl’s blogs.  If you didn’t, at least click here and go read the guest post on SimplySolo’s blog for now because it is pertinent to what I am about to say.

I’ll wait.

Ok, so the dark haired guy from the Tiffany’s commercial that Lucky and I are drooling over practically the entire post, he’s hot right?

I couldn’t just leave it at that.  Why? Because I’m not normal and I have to continually beat a dead horse.  Which has nothing to do with this hot guy.  But anyway, not only did I watch the video about 50,000 times over the past 3 days and wish I was the girl he was proposing to, I had to go all Detective Gizzy on the situation and find out who he is. And I did.

First, I thought I ruined it for myself because I found a blog where a girl had posted his name (& the names of all the other actor and the 2 female models like she’s somebody and knows people) so I googled him and found out that he’s an actor (Duh!) but not only is he an actor he recently guest starred on an episode of Gossip Girl. While Gossip Girl is one of my favorite shows, I sadly missed the episode he was on.  And when I say sadly, I mean angrily, because I totally remember what I was doing that week to make me miss it (job interview) and it was totally not worth it.  I also just got so worked up about that whole situation that I accidently rented Going The Distance for $4.99 on DirecTV and I don’t even want to watch it, but now I have to because I’m paying 5 bucks for it, christ.   Anyway, in the episode he kisses Chuck Bass.  Chuck Bass is my favorite character/Gossip Girl crush (yep, I LOVE the assholes.  This we know.) So this whole thing is pretty much a sign to me.  I mean, big woop all of the good actors have to make out with guys to be accepted by the academy.  He’s just doing his career the justice it deserves.  Hellooooo Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger!! They both were nominated for academy awards for Brokeback Mountain. (Can you tell I’m sucking up in case he reads this?)(I am.)(Hi, Neal =))

Ok, settle down everyone.  We’re too late.  He already has a fan page.   On his fan page I learned that our birthdays are 1 day apart.  Plus 4 years.  That he is co-starring in a new CW drama (I guess that means I better get him while the gettin’ is good, before everyone else does.) And  that he’s Canadian.  I went to Canada once for  Hanson concert.  I liked it! Their Burger King chicken tenders tasted a little funny, but all around it was a good country, and if I went for Hanson then by God I would go for Neal.

But then! His facebook profile came up.   Now, here’s what I’m contemplating: #1 should I add him? #2 Should I add him to my personal facebook page or the Cocktails at Tiffany’s facebook page? #3 Should I message/poke/relationship request him?

I’m not sure how to go about hitting on a semi-celebrity.  I would imagine he gets a lot of chicks and I would be just another nameless ho in the crowd.  So maybe I should dress up all amish and take a new profile pic so that when I add him it’s all BAM!!! Reverse psychology in his face! And he’ll be like, WHOA! Who is this crazy amish chick adding me? Oh.. ok, I guess she is kind of hot in her mennonite garb.  Ok, I’ll ask her out and then buy her some Tiffany’s and carry trees down the street for her. NBD.

What do you guys think? It’s legit, right?

I would imagine at this point nobody cares what my plan of attack is and you’re all just sitting there in your non-amish-wear like, “JUST POST HIS GODDAMN NAME SO I CAN SEND HIM A MESSAGE!”

Sigh.

Neal Bledsoe.

At least give me 1 day as a head start.

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