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The night I FINALLY hung out with HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH… Part 2!

So the night with High School Crush continues… Last time on “I can’t believe this is my effing life right now!”: High School Crush might like me, because he wants to hang some more.

We made our way through the crowd to bar #2 – you know I had to do the classic grab on to his arm dealio to make sure we didn’t get separated.  At one point I thought we might hold hands, but then I realized we aren’t 14 anymore and I shouldn’t let teenage Gizzy’s dreams get the best of me.  Because goddamnit, that little brat got all the action!  I could only imagine the kind of scrutiny I’d get from all my friends (especially Lucky) if I reported back that I made my move and we just sat around and held hands all night.  Because that’s what I did with my boyfriend in middle school.  We didn’t talk, we just held hands and it was like OMG – did you see us holding hands for like 5 hours? Our hand sweat totally made sweat babies up in there.

Anywayzzzz…we got to bar #2 and HSC bought us all drinks and we basically started sharing our life stories.  Honestly I can’t even remember what all we talked about, I just know neither of us would shut up.  Alcohol is the best invention EVER.  At one point I was telling him about how I’m over the big city and I need to find a place that doesn’t have a babillion people runnin’ round.  And he was all oh where are you going to look – so I named off a few cities, including the one he lives in.  He freaked out being all omg yes you have to move to my city, that’s the only option, don’t even waste your time with the other places.  I do like the city that he lives in, but really him and my high school ex boyfriend are the only people I know that live there, so that would be weird.  And I’m only gonna move there if we can get married or if Lucky moves with me.  It’s kind of a crap shoot on if anything would even happen if we lived in the same city, unless we started dating and did the long distance thing for a while.  I wouldn’t even feel totally comfortable moving there right now and relying on him to just be a friend to hang out with.  Who knows what he’s got going on in that zip code.

Finally his friend got a word in and made us all start reminiscing about high school.  Which made me really nervous.  Like I thought I might vom, in my head I just kept thinking, Please do not mention the time I threw up on you, please do not mention the time I threw up on you. And he didn’t.  Instead they questioned me about Lucky hooking up with one of their friends in high school.  HAHA.  It’s honestly mine and Lucky’s favorite story because it was the closet freak and we’re like yeah he’s all talk and Lucky was all, “Shit man, I’m gonna do it.  Take me over there.”  So I did, and they hooked up on the side of his house, while I circled the block, and it is by far the funniest thing that ever happened.

About this time Betty asks HSC where he’s staying, he said he didn’t know yet but probably with his friend or closet freak.  Then she leans forward over me and whispers into his ear, “We’re going to be leaving within the hour, if you want to come back with her that’s fine, it’s your decision.”  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I acted like I didn’t hear what she said because I didn’t want any part in it.  I’m sorry, but we are 26 years old – I don’t need you to invite guys home for me.  And secondly, if we wanted to hook up we sure as hell wouldn’t be going back to do it in your daughter’s midget bunk bed. 

So I looked at his friend and then his friend says to me, “So Betty said you wanted to come here because your ex was here?” I thought I was going to kill her.  I played it off an was like, “Whaaaat? Who?” and he was like, “Oh maybe not.” But I do recall when Betty said she wanted to go to bar #2 I said to her, “You know who we’ll probably see there? Douchearoo, that’s like his spot.” And she was all for it because she thought he would buy us drinks, and I’m like no I don’t even want to talk to him.  Seriously, Betty can never be around a guy I like ever again.  Next year I’ll go to the party alone if I have to.

Anyway, HSC and I chatted for a few more then Betty said they were going to get the car.  They’d circle around and if I wanted to come back with them I should come out when they pulled up.  There was really no question – I told her I was coming back with them and not to leave me. She said if I didn’t come out she was assuming that HSC and I were going somewhere.  So the fact that she would just leave me there is really reassuring, what a great friend.  Again, we are not in college, we are not 19, and at this point if something happens between high school crush and I it’s probably going to be the start of a legitimate relationship, I don’t think either of us are really looking for a hump and dump.  So step off!

I said my goodbyes to the friend and told HSC I had to go, and he honest to god had a really disappointing look on his face.  I mean, we still had 30 minutes before the bar closed so I was upset about it too, but what can ya do?  Then, we hugged and had one of those moments where you’re like, do we kiss? Is this weird? We just stood there at looked each other, it felt like it was about 6 hours even though it was probably only like 5 seconds. 

Just as I was about to walk away HSC grabbed my arm and was like, “Hey what are you doing tomorrow? Do you wanna get some food and watch the games?” Uhhh yeah I do! So I said yes and left.

Not 5 minutes after I left he was already texting me about how he was excited to hang out the next day. 

….To be continued! Part 3 coming Tuesday! – I’m so lame.

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Single and ready to mingle

If anyone pays attention to our comments section as diligently as I think you all should you would have read that Anth is so excited about me moving to the city (yes, after I just whined that no one is excited to hang out with me everyday) that he has signed us up for a singles cruise.

I don’t know diddly squat about where it’s going or when it is, all I know is that I’ll be on it.   Anth sent me a message Tuesday night asking how I felt about singles cruises.  They’re the 8th wonder of the world, that’s how I feel.  So he asked if I wanted to be his date.  I’m not going to point out that taking a date on a singles cruise is totally against the rules and completely defeats the purpose because it’s going to be fun to watch.  He’s  just dumb and pretty, such a catch.

Chances are I will have to take a few of my millions of sick days to be a part of this once in a life time opportunity, but that’s ok.  I imagine I will be sick most of those days anyway.   In all honesty I can 100% see him making me think that this is a singles cruise to the caribbean and it will be like an evening party boat that sits in the harbor while we all speed date.  I know that’s why he’s not giving me any deets.  Bastard!

Annnnd moving right along.  I’m really starting to get the feeling my posts are like the news.  I just look in a different direction and think it’s ok to start talking about a different story.  Oh well.

I had to get lippy with my rental agent today.  I found an apartment that is within my price range and is beautiful and if I could marry it, I would.

He keeps getting all snappy with me being all, that apartment is too far north for you.  And I’m all LISTEN BUD! I know where it’s at, I can read a map, thank you, but I don’t care.  I want to effing see it, arrite!!?? I finally got him to agree, if I let him show me others that are farther south.  CHRIST! MEN!

I like this place so much that I’m actually nervous someone else will snatch it up before I can even get there to look at it in person. And Anth isn’t helping the situation.  Well for one, he introduced me to the rental agent, so I don’t know why I’m so shocked that I’m getting argued with. But secondly, Anth is discouraging me from getting this apartment because it’s an $18 cab ride to his neighborhood.  I’M SORRY! Since when does the location according to Anth factor at all into where I get an apartment? These guys are just driving me nuts.  Honestly I don’t know why he wouldn’t want me to get it, it’s beachfront.  Mmmhmmm…

And yes, that is a pool.  Beach & Pool = FUN TIMES! None of which his apartment has.  So he needs to STEP OFF.  Annnnd breathe.

The only downfall with this apartment is that bowl for a sink in the bathroom.  I can 150% see myself getting drunk and trying to pick the bowl up and completely destroy the sink/water line.  And I can’t drunkenly leave the water running because it doesn’t have one of those old school overflow drains.  I guess these are issues I should work on.

And I think there’s no bathtub.  Which is only a problem if I feel the need to take some epsom salt baths.  Which I have only ever done once in my life.

Funny story,  remember Mercedes? She used to smoke so much pot when I lived with her that I was sure I was contact high 95% of all days.  One day I got a call from my internship that I was going to be drug tested.  So, after some serious googling, I ran out got some herbal detoxifying tea and some epsom salt to take a bath in to clear my system.  I also drank upwards of 3 gallons of water and ran 9 times in 24 hours.  Which is a sure fire sign that I was contact high because who is that paranoid?  My boss told me before I went to take the test, “Oh Lucy the Blackbeast formerly known as Gizzy, you have nothing to worry about as long as you aren’t snorting crack by the spoonfulls!”  Then my drug test came back with a big fat red flag on it 5 different times because it was diluted.  From the 3 gallons of water.  Which raised suspicion.  Until I weirdly tried to explain that I sweat a lot in my sleep so I’m always afraid of getting dehydrated so I drink a lot of water.  They bought it, but then I’m sure everyone just called me sweaty Betty behind my back.

Anyway yet another meaningless post, I’ll be reporting next week with the adventures of the big city.  It’s moving day!

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