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Cleanse…my soul?

Hey all!!!!!

Today is day 1 of my 10-day Advocare cleanse.

I feel like Advocare is a pretty popular cleanse choice, but don’t worry if you don’t know what it is… I’ll explain.

Basically, it’s a 10-day cleanse that consists of Advocare fiber drinks in the morning, and herbal supplements before bed. In between, I’m supposed to drink 4 liters of water, and eat anything that does NOT involve salt, sugar, white flour, starch, red meat, caffeine, alcohol, or dairy… or anything processed.

Yeah.

I did a similar cleanse a few years ago, and while it’s tough in the beginning, you feel GREAT afterward. Since you are ridding your body of toxins, by the end of the cleanse, you are relying on nothing but good things, so I found I slept really well, and my body woke up on it’s natural clock.

Aside from that, you lose a few pounds, but you feel so light and airy.

It’s kind of amazing.

The annoying thing about the cleanse is the preparation—you have to make everything from scratch so you can ensure there is no salt, sugar, etc. in it, so it takes awhile. Advocare recommends you prep ALL of your meals ahead of time, so you don’t get frustrated and run to the nearest fast food joint.

Smart.

So, I spent yesterday binge eating and drinking, while preparing all of my foods for the week. I made grilled chicken skewers (with veggies), brown rice, cleanse-friendly turkey & bean chili, hard-boiled eggs, plain oatmeal, and hummus. I even chopped, and bagged, all of my veggies to eat with the hummus.

So far, I’ve already drank about half the water I’m supposed to (I went to the gym this morning, so that helped), I had the fiber drink (disgusting) and I ate my breakfast (1 serving of oats, small serving of raw almonds, 1 serving of mixed berries) and I’m enjoying a cup of caffeine free apple cinnamon tea.

…So far so good… we’ll see if that continues.

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Gah! So much to say…

Hey all,

I know I’ve kind of been half-assing it over here on the blog…but that’s because I’ve got so much going on in the other areas of my life, which is always exciting.

You might remember a few months ago, when I quit working for the magazine. Well, since then, I’ve gotten so many offers for freelance work—it’s crazy! I took on a job editing someone’s book, which has been interesting and lucrative.

I am also meeting with a local magazine publisher this week to see if I can help her create more magazines—sweet!

Last week, I published my first Kindle book—I published it myself, but I’m still so excited that I’m now an author; something I’ve always wanted to be. Once I get the hang of it, I plan on publishing many more digital books!

For the last month, I’ve been working with an old friend on a podcast about relationships. We recorded our pilot last week and are recording episode 2 this week.

While my job is still pretty much same ole, same ole, I actually got a raise; my first raise ever!

When things with my career are going well; that often means I am in high spirits, too. And I’d say, for the most part, that is true. I’ve always hoped that my career would be booming with writing opportunities, and that is definitely the case today. It really is an amazing feeling.

On another front, yesterday was the first day of fall—my favorite season. I am looking forward to burning pumpkin candles, making apple cider and pumpkin bread, and maybe I’ll even enjoy watching a little football.

I hope you all are busy with the things you love lately—here’s to a happy fall!

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Back from the dead… maybe.

HEY HO.

I am at work right now for the first time in a week… I took vacation days because my mom flew into town. We had a lovely visit, but on the last night of her trip, I started to feel a little tickle in my throat.

Yeah, and now I feel like absolute donkey-do.

Fever, runny nose, coughing, the whole 9 yards, but I’m at my desk all bundled up in my snuggie. I figured I should just come to work and see how long I’m able to last…

Anyway, because I’ve been off in la-la land, I didn’t do a good job of keeping up with the blog. Didn’t even arrange the “Dear Mr. Nice Guy” post for Friday.

My apologies.

I promise… things will get back to normal around here sometime.

PS. Today is our 3rd year anniversary!!!! GO US.

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Time to get control.

The good news is: I only have 2 more sleeps on my current mattress before the amazing, glowing, soft, cloud-like, mattress that I ordered last Friday arrives.

I’ve never had the funds to buy a nice mattress. So, I was quite delighted when I walked into the Serta store and when the pretty hot salesman, Tony, said “How can I help you?” I said, I WANT TO SLEEP BETTER IN 2013.

He gave me a pillow, dressed in a fresh disposable pillowcase, and told me to have at it. I curled up in about a dozen beds before I picked the-one, a mere half-step down from Serta’s luxury line. If I’m going to make a purchase, I may as well MAKE A PURCHASE.

Of course, I am excited to see it all put together: the contemporary bed frame, the mattress/box, the 400-count monogrammed sheets, the Pottery barn duvet with new down comforter, the silky quilt, and my custom pillows… I know I’m going to sleep well.

But there’s also a part of me that’s really excited to lay in a bed that hasn’t been fucked on.

Is that sick?

It is a fortress with many walls, and you ain’t getting in.

While the crazy guy from the open mic night has toned it down (he just says hello to me now), Webber is still attempting the hunt. He sends me “What’s up cutie?” texts every morning, when I just want to reply—GET A NEW LINE. Saturday night, when I was out with Marcy and Craig, he was asking where we were so he could tag along.

And no.

You want to see me? Fucking ask me out. There will be none of this tag-a-long horse shit.

So, while I’m still down for the count in the boyfriend department, there’s a new TV show I’m obsessed with (aside from Catfish, Project Runway All Stars, Teen Mom, and The Bachelor): Buckwild.

Um. Yeah.

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What’s the sit-u-ation?

Sigh. Monday. The first full week of work since the holidays—I’m sure it’s going to be a bitch.

However, if you remember correctly, tonight is a MAJOR TV night & I am pretty stoked on that. We have 2 hours of The Bachelor (complete with Tweets from yours truly @Cocktailsattiff) followed by an hour of Teen Mom and then a glorious new episode of Catfish.

Omg I cannot wait. And yes, I realize how big of a loser this makes me.

The weekend however, was a good one. I have lots to tell you all, which will probably take all week, but I’ll start now.

Saturday night, Marcy and I jumped in the car to head across town for a house party. I don’t know who really has house parties anymore, but here we were going to one. Whatever. Neither of us were particularly stoked on going, but we said we would, and we both agreed to have two beers, make the rounds, and then bolt because we are cool like that.

About two blocks from my apartment, I see a few cop cars with their lights on, not pulling people over, but holding the traffic lights. I also notice lots of people walking beside the street. It was only 7:30, so I was pretty confused.

When we drove to the next light, there were about 6 cop cars, same scene. They were directing traffic away from the mall—where the parking lot was empty and the lights were off. Um, what? So we started Googling and see that apparently there was a massive fight at the mall, involving hundreds of people, followed by a stampede and uber panicking.

When we got to the party, a girl there said she was actually at the mall and heard gun shots. WHAT?

Anyway, the party was packed with people from the gym, including that trainer I used to see, and that was awkward, not because of him and me, but because he is such a tool, and everyone constantly talks about how he is weird and a loser. Yeah, thanks.

A few weeks ago I met this guy at the gym, TAZ, who used to be a professional football player, and is big and black, and pretty freaking hot. According to our mutual friend, M, TAZ thinks I am hot, however acts super shy around me. Standard.

TAZ arrived at the party and makes himself a vodka cocktail and is all, “Hey we met a few weeks ago…” yadda yadda, and he was wearing a massive gold watch, large diamond earrings, and two large football rings. Hmm.

I told Marcy I thought he was hot. She agreed.

“I like your watch,” I told him.

“I like your butt,” he said.

Thanks.

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Well, hello 2013.

I would imagine you are hungover reading this, which isn’t a bad thing.

I am not really huge on New Year’s resolutions, but this time of year always gets me thinking about the year gone by and the one ahead. Of course, I want each year to be better than the one before it.

2012 was really a year of growth for me. It’s been a year now that I’ve been in therapy, and while I’m still working on many of my original problems, I know I’ve made a change for the better.

Some of the decisions I made in 2012 weren’t my finer ones, but I learned from each and every one of them, and because of that, I consider them important.

For 2013, I’ve got a few things in mind.

1. Sleep more.

For years, I’ve struggled with sleep. I feel guilty when I go to bed early, because there is usually work I can be doing, or a book to be read. But then I stay up so late and feel even worse the next day. If I do hit the sack early, I usually toss and turn, or am wide awake at 3 am watching HLN.

Not this year. To combat this problem, I slapped down a mere $2,000 for a brand new bed frame, a new mattress, and all new bedding.

It is on, folks.

2. Get The Bachelor.

A few weeks ago, Marcy and I had a conversation about men. Somehow, we came to the conclusion that I need to date the Bachelor (the guy I interviewed for Cosmo’s hottest bachelor). At one point, this was on my mind, but I seemed to have lost my gusto for it and now I’m refocused.

It might not be easy, and it might take me all fucking year, but it’s happening.

Here we go, 2013.

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Back to the bachelor…

Glad you all gave me some feedback on the hottest bachelor.

Now, since then, the article I wrote on him was published and he sent me this text.

“Lucky! Wow, so blown away, best article ever!”

We talked a few more texts about random crap, before he eventually quit responding. He’s flying to New York Thursday to get the results of the contest…so here’s my question for you guys… should I text him? Should I invite him to join me for a boxing class??

HELP!!!!

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