Tag Archives: rant

Me, myself, and I

Seriously guys, I have got like cray dramaz going on in my life right now.  As you know from Tuesday’s post, my love life has taken a turn to my liking, but of course that can’t come without other aspects of my life taking a giant shit on my face.

Like I said on Tuesday, Betty changed her mind about 180 times trying to decide whether or not to go to the festival.  I really only invited her so that she wouldn’t get mad if she found out Polly and I went, and as soon as she said she couldn’t go I was all, “Oh that’s too bad. We’ll drink one for ya!” I knew that if Betty came, she would make her own agenda, even though I was the one that invited her, and we’d be playing by her rules the whole day, and IF she let me meet up with HSC she would be saying weird shit to him like she did at the Christmas party.  Normally, this is fine and I just go with it because it’s just me and what do I care? But not this time, HSC was involved and I didn’t want to get stuck at Betty’s playing Mommy.  I told Betty that since she had plans earlier that day she could just meet us at the festival, since this wasn’t the plan she had worked out in her head, she chose to ignore that.

When the time rolled around for her to meet us she was super salty. She was pissed that we didn’t call to flip flop the plans around so that they worked for her, pissed because we disappointed her daughter, pissed because we disappointed her, pissed because her BF canceled his plans to go to a club to watch the baby sleep, pissed because she would have to drive to meet us alone, pissed because she’d have to finagle the crowd alone, pissed because she was sober, pissed because she’s had a hard 2 weeks and didn’t need this added on top of it. Uhhhh HOLD. THE. MOTHER. EFFING. BUS. ONE. SECOND.  Scusie?  Did I not offer to take off work, drive 3 hours, and sit in the ghetto ass abortion clinic with you a few weeks ago? Did I not offer to come down the next day and have a movie night with you? Did I not say, “Call me if you need ANYTHING.  ANYTHING!”? And you’re going to throw it in my face because something didn’t go your way you big fucking cry baby? OH. NO. SHE. DIDN’T! I tell you what I’m pissed about, people being selfish.  It’s as simple as 1-2-3… The plan is this, you are invited, if you can’t make it, that is too bad.  End story.

I have spent the past 26 years of my life not being selfish (ok, I’ve probably been a little selfish, but not nearly as selfless as I’ve been when it comes to giving my stupid friends their way) and I’m done with it.  I’ve bent over backward for everyone else, and look at where I’m at? I’m alone and none of those selfish bastards are.  But damnit, I’m the sweetest, nicest person everyone knows, so why am I still alone? Because I do everything for everyone else and nothing for myself.  So, after much deliberation between Lucky and I (and somehelp from Lopez because Lucky has the same problem) her and I both decided that we needed to only do the things that we WANT to do.  And if other people get pissed in the process? Who cares! Fuck ‘em!

I should say that in the 12 or so years Betty and I have been friends I can’t think of 1 time when she’s really taken one for the team for me and done what I wanted to do.  Which is why you can probably count on 2 hands the number of times I have invited her to do things.  A PERFECT example is the Christmas party, I asked Betty to take one for the team as in, “Hey HSC is here, he wants to hang out, will you take one for the team and stay out?” As you know, she said yes, but we only stayed out another 45 minutes and she was blatantly yelling, “I wanna go home!!!!” within ear shot of HSC the whole time and inviting him to
sleep in her daughters bunk beds with me.  Making it awkward.  But me? Oh I’ve been there for 3 abortions, a divorce, a childbirth, multiple affairs, a bat shit crazy mom, her dad almost dying, and a cheating live in boyfriend. But you know not to keep tabs or anything, it’s cool if you can’t spend 2 hours of your life standing in a bar so that I can hang out with a guy I have liked since before I even knew you. NO BIG DEAL! I don’t ever need to be happy, I’ll just sit here chewing on my nails and I’ll be your go to person for the rest of my life.  I am here. to. serve. YOU!

So not giving a damn about Betty’s agenda and if I upset her kid was the first step to doing more things for me so that I can get what I want out of life.  The next came earlier this week when Betty texted me inviting HSC and I to go skiing with her and her boyfriend next Friday.  First, let me say, Betty only knows that I met up with him at the festival because I put a picture of us on facebook.  She doesn’t even know what happened.  Second, even if she did know what happened, hanging out once and making out in the street does not warrant a couple’s ski trip.  So I just replied telling her I already had plans that weekend and didn’t even address the HSC thing.  I just don’t want her to know any of the details because I don’t want her trying to play God by asking him to do things behind my back.

This is where I get really irritated.  You see, Betty does this with every guy I like/date.  Instead of asking, “Hey what happened with HSC this weekend?” and gauging the relationship from that, she assumes that he is my boyfriend, we made our anniversary the first day we met (6/1/1999), and we are looking at apartments this weekend to move in together.  Because that’s what she does.  It’s such a problem that even communicating with her won’t work, simply stating, “No Betty, we’re not there yet, we’re still talking”  wouldn’t fly.  If I would have said that, she would’ve taken it upon herself to send him a facebook message inviting him on the ski trip and saying to get me on board.  Then I would’ve gotten a text from him being like, “Uhhh yeah… Betty wants to go skiing?” And it would be weird, he’d never talk to me again, and I would drive to her house and kill her.

So the point to this 1200 word rant is that I’m always busy looking after my friend’s hot mess lives, and they’re all busy looking out for only themselves, who is looking out for me? No one.  Insert NEW New Year’s resolution: Be selfish and do only what YOU want.

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