Tag Archives: real world

4 strangers, picked to live in a house, and hate each other

Did anyone watch the season premiere of The Real World St. Thomas last night? When I finished watching last season I decided that I was too old to watch anymore and wouldn’t be partaking in the next season, but when I started to see the previews I couldn’t resist, and so far it hasn’t disappointed. 

I won’t ruin it for anyone who is hoping to catch a repeat, but I’ll just say I am rooting for Trey and Laura to get together and make babies.  That’s the same thing I said about Dustin and Heather last season, and he ended up being a gay porn star..so it should be interesting.

Anyway, my apartment has started to turn into a Real World house of it’s own.  I’ll spare you on all the gritty details, but a few weeks back I caught the hot roommate red-handed cheating on his girlfriend.  I didn’t say anything, but the story has started to unfold.  Saturday night all the roommates played beer pong and went to dinner and hot roommate was visibly upset because his girlfriend didn’t invite him to dinner with her family.  And rumors are flying that he’s ’bout to get dumped. If you ask me he totes deserves it.

The real drama lies within the weird barbarian roommate though.  Anth and I have daily bitch sessions about him and finally last night the hot roommate joined in. 

The things we are complaining about aren’t your typical roommate annoying habits.  Well, some of them are.

First off, this guy refuses to use the dishwasher at the off chance that he may put someone else’s plate in there/he doesn’t ever want to unload it.  The thing of it is, unless you are hoarding your dirty dishes in your room – how do you know which ones are yours when you’re only hand washing them once a month? Here’s a clue bro: I’ve been doing them for you because the dishwasher gets ran every other day.  Eat a dick. Anyway, I came home from work one day a few weeks ago and Anth was standing in the kitchen staring at a pile of dishes lying on a bath towel.  I started cracking up because I knew exactly what he was thinking.

He went off about how he couldn’t belive someone would be so inconsiderate as to handwash the dishes and then lay them out to dry on a towel that he had just dried his junk with that morning.  LOLZ. Oh Anth.

Then he was pissed because they were still sitting out the next day and moved them to the kitchen table where they remained for another week.  At this point all I can do is laugh about it, getting pissed off at roommates takes way too much of my energy.

The other big complaint about this guy is how loud he has sex and the fact that it sounds like he’s beating the shit out of his girlfriend.  None of us have gotten the guts yet to bring this up, because how do you say that? Do you ask the girlfriend? I mean honestly, it sounds like he beats her head against the wall. Last Sunday morning I was hungover laying on the couch watching a movie when they started at it.  And it made me so uncomfortable that I went back down to my room and went back to sleep.  Not only is it incredibly loud, they do it like 5 times a day.  Here’s the schedule: wake up, have sex, make breakfast, have sex, watch tv, have sex, eat dinner, have sex, get ready for bed, have sex.

So last night, Anth was in my room doing his laundry and the hot roommate busts in with steam coming out of his nose.  “Barbarian took my bike, WITHOUT ASKING, and I need to go to a volleyball game.  Now I have to drive and pay to park.” So, Anth and I looked at each other and let loose with all our complaints. It ended up being quite the bonding session.

During all of this, me, Anth, and the Hot Roommate were all invited to a Yacht party for the 4th of July.  The Barbarian, however, wasn’t invited and asked us all what we were doing.  Considering the fact that Saturday when we all played beer pong he made the comment about how he loves looking into a dogs eyes when it takes a shit, he won’t be getting an invite any time soon.

I think we’re all in agreement that he gets voted off the island.  Freaking weirdo.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lets just jump on the bandwagon, shall we?

Well I’ve officially ran out of things to blog about, I could tell the story of how I finally broke out of my rut and went out on a week night last night but I’m afraid everyone would be poorly disappointed when I ended the story way short because I came home and got in bed at 9pm.  I blame it on my “adjusting” which is a period I have deemed to be 6 months, I have 2 more months until I officially become a loser again.  Until then, cheers to adjustment periods! At an attempt to clean out our drafts section, here’s an old blog I started working on but never made the cut for January…

I’m sure everyone is about as sick as I am of seeing facebook friend’s status updates saying, “For 27 yeras I have been a Scorpio and now I’m an Ophiuchus, WHAT IS AN OPHIUCHUS!!?” I don’t know friends, I don’t know.  Until it gets a picture/symbol of it’s own it’s really just a poser.

But all this nonsense has made me a Pisces.  Which is fine by me, because you know what?! My whole life I read the Aries horoscope thinking this does not sound like me AT ALL.  All that zodiac jibber jabber always talked about how Aries are these big strong outgoing pushy people, which is not me.  I’m timid and shy, a Pisces if you will.  I always read the Pisces horoscope and told myself I could be halvsies because I was born in on March 25, which is only 4 days into Aries, so it’s a little bit Pisces too. For example, Astrology.com says, “Aries are happiest engaging in martial arts,” Um yeah, no.  “Sun in Pisces people are frequently pegged as wishy-washy,” YES!! Except it also describes Pisces as what I would picture tree huggers and hobos chasing their dreams to be, which is not so much me either.  So, if Aries and Pisces had a baby, it would be born on March 25 and be just like me.  So that’s one problem in my life that has been solved, and you all just witnessed it first hand and wasted 2 minutes of your life reading that.  My sincerest apologies, glad you were there to see me work through this difficult time.

Moving on to my next sporadic thought.  Last week I watched The Talk.  I don’t know why I watched The Talk, I’m not particularly proud of it, but an interesting topic of conversation got started and it made me think of my Cocktails At Tiffany’s family here.   Someone in the crew of D list celebrities that host The Talk brought up how what you look for in a man changes as you get older.

Darlene from Roseanne said that when she was in her 20’s she would overlook the small things that should be stop signs in relationships.  An example she used was a drug addict. Which, ok girlfran, been there done that.  Lucky can vouch for me in saying that when I dated the druggie also known as Snoop-Linus that was a low point in my making excuses for worthless guys era.  I mean we’ve all done it, we like a guy so we make excuses for him even though we all know better and know that if we have to make an excuse we probably shouldn’t be with them.  But we’re in our 20’s and we’re learning so we’re allowed to be stupid as long as we learn from our mistakes.  Blah blah blahhh.

Anyway, they went on to say a study showed that women in their 20’s look for men who are “kind” and “faithful” while women in their 30’s look for men with a “good sense of humor,” then they made another valid point, that the study is full of shit.  Women in their 20’s WANT to like the kind guy, but instead they like the asshole.  Which just makes my whole entire life make more sense.

… This is where the post left off, but I’m going to roll with it.  At this point in my 26 year old life a guy could be about as funny as a box of rocks but if I knew he’d never cheat on me I’d marry him yesterday.  I don’t really get how these women on the talk can believe a person ever actually quits looking for someone who is faithful but if that day ever comes I give all of you permission to shoot me in the face.  The day I say, “Well he makes me laugh so I’ll just turn my head while he’s getting some whoopie from his sexretary,” will be the day hell freezes over.

(Side note: Has anyone seen the new jamster commercial? “Text your name: Miley, and the guy’s name: Justin to 234345” !!!! Jamster! Get with the times, the Bieb and Miley will NEVER be a couple.  Ugh)

Anyway, I get the whole idea of looking for different things as your age increases but faithfulness ever not being #1 in anyone’s book just blows my mind.

On another thought, tonight Heather on the Real World finds out her lover Dustin (Zito) did gay porn.  I absolutely cannot wait.  I may even muster up the energy to twatter through it all.  See you there.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,