Tag Archives: regret

9. If you could change 1 decision you’ve made, what would it be?

I’ve really thought a lot about this.

And really, there’s not many things in my life that I regret doing. I think the saying is true, “You’ll regret what you DIDN’T do, rather than what you did.”

And if I could change one decision, it would be my choice to stay in this state after graduation. Since I moved 14 hours from home right after high school, it wasn’t like I hadn’t done it before.

I remember applying to jobs all over the country because I wanted to move…but I don’t really think I gave it a good try. And then when the job I have now came along, I took it, and here I am…still.

I know I am still young, and I don’t have any REAL attachment here, and I don’t know, maybe soon I can gather up the courage to pack my bags and really shake things up!

I don’t know that I have one specific decision that I regret, but in general I regret never sticking with SOMETHING.

I have dabbled in a lot of different hobbies: gymnastics, basketball, music, tennis, acting, writing, running, etc… so I’m “okay” at all of those things, but I really wish I would have stuck with something when I was younger so I could be like really fucking awesome at it now.  It would be even more awesome if I would have stuck with something that I could have made a career out of, because now I’m an accountant and it’s not fun and really sucks.  

I keep telling myself that I’ll start writing songs on the piano again and things like that.  But what single parent (to one puppy) who has a full time job has time for that? Sigh.

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The Navy Seal (Part 2)

 Instead of going home like I should have, I went into crazy drunk girl mode and told this guy my whole life story including the part about my recent breakup where I choked up and got teary eyed as I said it.  Really? REALLY GIZZY? Really. Who knows what else I told him. Eventually Chuck did what she does best and invited these guys back to my apartment for an after party.  It was 9pm.

We stopped and got a case of beer (that no one drank). Chuck and the other guy were dancing around my living room while I sat on the couch and slowly got more and more upset that these guys were in my apartment.   

Eventually the guy I was talking to asked if he could kiss me and I told him no.  Of course, that didn’t stop him from trying anyway a little later.  I went with it for a few seconds then started crying because not only was I not ready to move on, I don’t do the whole drunken make out with a stranger thing because I’m a giant prude.

Chuck and the other guy passed out and I eventually made my way to my room, just wanting to go to bed and forget about the whole kiss.  Except this guy followed me to my bedroom.  I agreed to let him sleep in my bed, but put the whole ” we’re JUST sleeping” thing out there.  The guy went in for the kiss again, then I started crying. He figured out that I was not down for that and said he would just sleep on the floor.  I laid in bed, tears streaming down my face texting Lucky, Gigi, and Betty about what had happened.  

Gigi called so I ran outside continuing to cry/hyperventilate as I told her what happened, and how I wasn’t ready to move on and how now I missed NB even more than before. She calmed me down and reminded me that not every guy I tell my life story to has to be my boyfriend or a potential future husband, this was just the first kiss since NB and it didn’t have to go in that direction if I didn’t want it to. Which is a great point, I don’t really do random and usually any guy that I even so much as kiss turns into a dating situation – so I never separate the two.  Anyway, she talked me into going to sleep and just forgetting it happened.  But around 4am I heard the guy get up, he said the floor wasn’t very comfortable and got back into my bed.  Um okay what about the fact that I don’t want you here? The guy tried kissing me again and I just turned away. As soon as the sun came up I was in the living room poking Chuck telling her to get up so we could go get my car.  Mostly I just wanted these guys out of my apartment.  We dropped them off at their hotel and sped off.  There’s no doubt in my mind that this guy thinks I am bat shit crazy, because I was, but I honestly don’t care I never have to see or talk to him again so whatevs.

So with that, I had a major set back.  Finally, last week I had the first day that I didn’t cry over NB, then this happens and I feel like I’m right back to where I was a blubbery emotional trainwreck.  I guess all in all it was a good way to show me that I just need A LOT more time, should steer clear of guys in general right now, and obviously need to cut back on the drinking until I’m emotionally stable. 

Which presents another problem – Friday morning I am flying out to Nashville, TN for a weekend long bachelorette party…
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The Navy Seal (Part 1)

I’ve been telling myself I wasn’t going to post anything unless I had something to talk about aside from Nutter Butter and how sad I still am about the breakup.  I don’t want to make it harder on myself than it already is, and definitely don’t want to put you all through the pain of having to read the same thing over and over again.  

With that being said, Chuck came to visit me on Saturday.  I had been scouting out friends all week to come and day drink with me.  For the first time in months it was going to be warmer than 50 degrees and the sun was supposed to make an appearance, why wouldn’t we celebrate with some afternoon cocktails?

We made it to the bar around 2:30 and as soon as we walked in we spotted a group of guys all decked out in America gear, short shorts, and funny mustaches.  For those of you that don’t know, these are 3 of my favorite things.  I love people that dress up funny to drink, it just makes the day that much better.  Anyway, I knew after I got a drink or two in me I’d make friends with these guys and we’d have a gay ol time.  And that we did.

A few minutes later one of them walked by us so I asked what they were celebrating.  And he shouted “MERICA!”  Oh. My. God. Yes!  Eventually we made our way over to the rest of the group, talking, mingling, and taking pictures.  

After talking to one of the guys for a while, I found out that they were “from” a really small town nearby, they all worked together (for the government), yet all had San Diego phone numbers – which is a solid 2,000+ miles away.  When I asked what they did for the government they all got weird, said “stuff”, and changed the subject.  The other thing about these guys is that behind the mustaches and goofy clothes, they were all really hot and jacked with huge muscles and awesome bodies. Hmmmmmmm.

As it got later in the day, these guys trickled out and we were left with the only 2 without mustaches that weren’t dressed in America gear. As I started talking to this one guy, Kyle, about their job he finally revealed that they are all Navy Seals and were “hanging out” at a nearby military base until April.  I didn’t believe him until he showed me his government ID and a picture on his phone of him dressed in full on sailor gear. But I still kept asking what business Navy Seals have HERE, because we are landlocked. He kept saying he couldn’t tell me, so I was then convinced they were a part of Seal Team 6 and killed Bin Laden.  HAHA. I know it sounds crazy, but he never denied it.  This is the point in the day when I should have stopped drinking and just went home.  I could’ve left the day thinking about all the hot Navy Seals I met and wouldn’t have any regrets the next day.  

But, you know all to0 well that’s not what happened…

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