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To Gizzy’s house: part III.

When we woke up the next morning (4th of July Eve), we were nice and hungover.

But that didn’t stop us from our original plans—hitting up the beach. so we put on our swimsuits and headed that way. Parking seemed to be an issue, so we ended up on the other side of the beach, but we found a little restaurant, and as long as they have Bloodys, it’s all good.  They even had little palm trees and Jamaican aluminum bongo music.  I felt like I was in the tropics.  Ahhh vacation.

Well they didn’t have bloodys. Or any alcohol. Why? Because the bartender was late to work. And HE is the only one who can make a drink, pour it, whatever.  I asked about our server pouring us a draft beer.  I know he can do it, because to bring us that beer he has to have a liquor license… that means he can effing pour it too.   He said no he couldn’t, because they’re on the beach there’s weird laws.  Lies.

Christ.

Thank the high heavens he showed up to work shortly, because I was cranky.  When Lucky got her bloody she was able to precisely pin point the kind of Bloody mix they were using, it was not her fave.

As we waited, I was watching this lady across the restaurant who was eating an egg white omelet with fruit with a fork and knife. It was really pissing me off.  Only after it took her 35 minutes to take the first bite.

Anyway, after lunch, we wanted to catch a baseball game. So we got ready, and start trying to get a cab. Which doesn’t work until after we’d walked a good 15 blocks.

Once we get to the game, we find that it’s sold out and it’s already the 4th inning, so there are no scalpers.

Effin sweet! It seemed like nothing was going our way that day. Now that I look back, I should have insisted that we have a drink in one of the bars around the sadium, during the game the bars are almost just as fun as actually being there. But we were pissed.  I had heard about a block party going on, so we got back in the cab and headed that way. I prayed this would work out and at least we’d get a few beers.

And it was a success—the place was packed, but there was tons of food, beer, music, and free prizes—including Disney temporary tats that were freakin’ cool.  Not to mention we made a few friends and got a free cheese burger – which was… DA BOMB.  Hello 2002.

So we stay at this place until 6 or so, and we head toward the train station to catch a ride back. However, we find a cool little bar near the station and decide to continue our beer buzz with a round of brews and shots. I would say everyone has probably been to or seen the bar we stopped at.  Does The Tilted Kilt ring a bell to anyone?  Sometimes you can get lucky and you won’t have to look at a bunch of flubby nasty girls.  I mean neither Lucky or myself are into girls but if they’re going to be prancing around in their bra and underwear they can at least not make us want to hurl.  Anyway, this place had nasty fat tatted up girls.  Ugh.  So when we’re downtown near the financial district you can imagine that most of the guys aren’t looking for fat hedge hogs so idk what the deal was.

After that, we manage to get our drunk selves a seat on the train.

We get home, the guys are there, making all kinds of food on the grill, (supposively Anth made us hot dogs and we ate them??) but we then decide it’s absolutely necessary to put on the Disney tats, tramp-stamp style. So I put Gizzy’s on for her (all of the main Disney characters, holding hands) and she put mine on (pirates!).

Here’s mine: Best tat EVER!

We then joined the guys on the roof for some drinking games, a roast to the bachelor, and some AMAZING fireworks from a random person in the alley!

The fireworks were complete with floating lanterns JUST LIKE in Tangled.  I think I kept saying that every time they let another one go.  I don’t know how I have friends over the age of 6, I don’t know.

We mosied back down to the kitchen because I was craving some Cherry Garcia.  At this moment the bachelor and an old flame of mine who was in attendance, who is ALSO engaged wander into the room.  Some how it gets brought up that I didn’t get invited to either of their weddings, Lucky makes them feel like shit about it and tells them their wives must be insecure and they say because it’s because I’m attractive and it would make the bride feel bad or some bullshit.  I don’t know, it’s whatever.  That’s an argument/story for another day.

When this convo begins to fizzle another one of the guys from the party joins us.  A guy who Lucky and I had already written off because he was a big douche.  His name was Bill, he was the quarterback at our college, and he didn’t shower or change his clothes all weekend and Lucky and I told him he smelled.  He rebuttled by asking us to come out with them to which one of us made a snide remark saying we wouldn’t be caught dead near him and he basically called us ugly fat whores by saying, “Anyone who knows me would know as soon as they saw you two that you guys are NOT my type.”  Oh really? Well thin, cute, and funny must not be your type then, ass.

Later, more of the guys said they wanted to go out and we should join them. After a few minutes of persuasion, we bolt to Gizzy’s room, change clothes, and what? The guys are gone.

Lucky, remember when I called Anth and he didn’t answer?  He later told me that he was still at the apartment in his room changing.  Apparently he was left too and never went out.  I think it’s a good thing we didn’t go out with the 4 guys that actually went out.  Yikes.

Oh well, we walk down the street to a bar. There were all of five people inside, but the second we sit down, this chick comes up and introduces herself—meet Miranda. She has a boyfriend, but also a single guy in tow…yeah, he was kind of a loser.  I got her number, we were supposed to be friends because I have none and she was going to introduce me to all her single male friends, still hasn’t happened.  I don’t even think I could recognize her the beer goggles were so thick.

Anyway, she used her boyfriend’s credit card to buy us a round of shots, and Gizzy and I damn near slept on the bar. It was then we realized we’d been walking around (and drinking) since we woke up that morning. Miranda definitely thought we were lame, especially when we turned down her offer to late night when the bartender called last call.  I was tempted, because I think they said something about playing board games.  And I love board games, but in the adult world board games probably means snort crack so it’s probably good we didn’t go.

So, we walk back to Gizzy’s…

TO BE CONTINUED…

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To Gizzy’s house: part II.

After we ripped the shots with the 20-somethings, we played a nice round of beer pong with them.  I don’t even remember who won, TMA.  Too much alcohol.

And we’d had enough, so we went back to the roof to continue our personal drinking antics.

At some point or other, we decided it was time to go inside and start getting ready for the night (birthday dinner at a sushi joint!) while watching a little Teen Mom, of course.

This is when we decided to put the wine glasses to the test (Gizzy got one for herself). And yes, we’ve got pics to prove it (coming soon, Thoughtsappear!). So we got all fresh and clean and into some slutastic dresses and headed out.  I mean, not to brag, but we looked good.

Once we were seated, Gizzy was completely disturbed and overtaken by a couple across the room. They were acting as though they were on a first date, but in fact, they were married.  They also looked Amish.  I may have also made the comment, “I didn’t know Amish people ate sushi.”  They were just about as awkward as you could imagine, no conversation, no footsie, not even any eye contact.  I wanted to order a round of shots for them laced with viagra.  At the end of the dinner they got up from the table and held hands as they walked away, really?! I’m sure they went home and got it on all over their beige furniture and against their white walls after like the best date EVER. Christ.

Anyway, we ordered a bottle of sake, some edamame, and several sushi rolls that were absolutely heaven. The waiter even brought us a delish dessert with a birthday candle in it! Happy Birfday Lucky!

We left, and hopped into a cab to get to this bar the guys swore was always a good time. Well…the atmosphere was pretty cool, but it was really cliquey, and we were looking for single, hot guys. so we ventured to the bathroom and as soon as we came out, this guy is all, “HEY HAVE YOU MET MY FRIEND?” So we go and chat it up with his friend, who insists we go get ourselves a drink and meet him later.  One of them wasn’t bad looking, but they also informed us they had been drinking all day, we took that as though they weren’t looking for some friendly conversation and peaced out.  I would’ve been really into it about 4 drinks later.

He doesn’t offer to buy us the drink. So we took a shot and left.

Our next stop was actually full of hotties, along with some lady who had her tits painted in red, white, and blue. So we had a drink there, I tried to dance with some sistas, but it didn’t work out. Upon our arrival, we got free passes to this supposed dance club upstairs, so we decided to check it out…only to see that it was basically loser central with a blowup doll on stage.  And a retard, I love me some retards, but not on the dance floor.  And especially not when a stripper pole is in the hizzy.

NEXT!

We went across the street and THAT’S where the party was. They had awesome music, the place was packed, and the DJ kept being like, “IT’S LUCKY’S BIIIIRTHDAY!” And she gave out free shots of something…it was good.

So G and I were talking, dancing, or something when this guy comes up to Gizzy all dressed in a white button down with a skinny black tie, and tells her he’s a billionare…He said his name was Danny, and he didn’t want to tell me his last name because I would only use him for his money (versus… his penis? IDK) and I simply said, “Unless it’s Bonaduce, I don’t care.”  Still, he was cute enough and I was drunk enough that I was contemplating throwing him a make out.

And, just when you think he’s sort of cocky, yet sort of cute, he completely falls over backward, pulling a bistro table down with him.

Seriously! Funniest part of the night!

I was certain he was going to get kicked out, but he popped right up like it never happened. And kept dancing. Regardless, Gizzy and I turned our backs to him. Just then, this smokin’ hot guy comes up to Gizzy, introduces himself and they are chatting it up while I’m probably stumbling around alone.

The hot guy leaves for a brief second, comes back, and is all, “Hey guys! Meet my friend Danny”—the billionaire. Hot guy was laughing, knowing full well this Danny guy was hammered and that we had just been talking to him and shunned him. Danny is all dancing like Lady Gags, doing some robot shit, and his friends are off in the distance laughing hysterically, while Danny sloshes drink all over my party dress.

All the while, I’m talking to hottie, who’s name is Mat (yes another one, but spelled different.) He had big muscles that Lucky kept feeling and was tall, and hot, and even asked for my number.  He has texted me quite a bit since that weekend, and I”ve been somewhat responsive.  I start out strong and then get too drunk and forget to write him back. Also take note that I don’t question why I’m single anymore.  I just know why now.

Around 1:30, we bolted. I had a good buzz and didn’t want to over do it and end up with my head in the toilet.

So we head back to the house, in an interesting cab, who told us everything we needed to know about driving one.  They have to lease the cabs for $300-450 A WEEK! I might now be interested in starting a cab business.

Once we get back to the house, half of the bachelor party is missing.  Gizzy surprises me with a huge German chocolate cake (my favorite) that’s basically in a safe. My new friends sang me happy birthday and we chow down.

Then, we venture back to Gizzy’s room for a game of Mouse Trap. At this point, we are sipping on the remaining wine in our glasses that have already collected dust—and no, we don’t seem to care.

One of the guys from the party joins us, and begins to tell us rousing information that he’s learned as a med student. During this conversation we learned a lot about how we can contract STD’s and not even see the symptoms basically until we die. Med student then discussed giving us each a pap-smear in my bathroom to check for unsuspected STDS we may have contracted in our days sleeping with dirty gentlemen suitor whores and we all got up from our chairs…

…TO BE CONTINUED…

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Missing Girl

It’s finally Friday and I personally could not be happier.  I’m heading home for the weekend to see an old friend and hang out with my wang out.  I’m so thankful to get away from the boys for the weekend, they’re driving me insane.  Anth mentioned “having to put up with my bitchiness lately” after I told him I wasn’t home and couldn’t preheat the oven for him, like really? Assholes.

Anyway, has anyone been following this missing student case at Indiana University? I’ve never found myself reading up on these missing persons cases but this one has particularly caught my attention.  I had a good friend from high school move to Indiana to work at IU after college, 2 summers ago Betty and I made the jaunt to visit her there and we went to this Kilroy’s Sports Bar that this girl was at the night she disappeared.  

First I’ll say I wasn’t impressed with it, it was definitely a sketchy bar in a super sketchy area and we met sketchy people while we were there.  My friend’s sister was visiting the same weekend and some how found these guys in from out of town.  They said they had a cabin in the woods and we should all come back with them.  Betty and I instantly said no but my friend and her sister wanted to smoke pot and these guys had it so of course they were all for it.  

Eventually we got my friend and her sister to agree it wasn’t a good idea and tell the guys we were just going home.  They insisted on giving us a ride to our car that was like a mile away maybe since it was raining out and all.  I of course noticed that the driver was pounding shots all night saying how wasted he was who then insisted he was fine.  We got in because we were stupid and thought what was the worst that could happen if they were just driving us down the street? 

Me, Betty, my friend, and her sister were all in the back row of the Tahoe and there were 5-6 guys in the front and middle rows.  The next thing I know they pass the car and head into the woods  East of the city “toward their cabin.”  I freaked out and started beating on the window with an umbrella that was in the back seat demanding they let us out.  They refused to stop so I started screaming that I was calling the police if they didn’t let us out.  Finally when I put the phone on speaker as I dialed 911 the guy pulled over and Betty, my friend and I all jumped out while her sister sat in the car and insisted on going to this cabin.  Really?!! Dumbass.  So we coaxed her out of the car and suddenly the guys wanted to be nice guys and were all, “We’re not leaving you in the middle of the woods.” And I’m all, “Well we’re not getting back in your damn car you creeps.” So they drove off and left us. 

We walked a while to we made it to some Boy Scout post and I 411ed us a cab – that never came.  After a while I called another one and finally at 5am one of them actually came.  Scariest night of my life, hands down; I can only imagine what that poor girl has gone through.  That night showed me how easy it would be to get abducted by someone and not even realize it until it was too late I was relatively sober and still felt helpless, I couldn’t even begin to imagine being as inebriated as the news articles are saying she was and have someone abduct you or have a friend harm you.  Just wow. None the less, this girl has been on my mind a lot the past few weeks and I hope they find her soon safe and sound.

In other news…like Lucky mentioned yesterday, we did our single girl date night alone Wednesday night.  My night started out a little rough but ended up an overall success I’d say.  My whole plan was to go to this bar where I thought the wallstreet type hung out after work.  I wandered around the building and only found a public transit station.  Blah! (Which I drove by again today and there is definitely a bar there! I just don’t know how to get to it.  Blast!)

Anyway, after 30 minutes of searching for a parking spot and another 30 wandering the downtown streets I finally came across a little pub attached to a non-franchise high class hotel.  From the outside looking in all I saw were men in suits. Ba-ba-BINGO! 

I walked in, told the hostess I’d sit at the bar, and made my way down the right side of the bar looking for a seat (the place was packed!) A (hot) guy jumped up and told me I could have his seat because he had been sitting all day, the seat was directly behind a giant pole, but who was I to complain?  I thanked him, sat down, and ordered a glass of Merlot.  

Then, the guy leans in over my shoulder and says, “I know I gave you my seat, but you have to promise not to have too great of a conversation with that pole.”  I giggled and messed with my hair.  I’m not good at flirting anymore, like what should I have said? Do you want to go next door and get a room? IDK! Then he asked if I was meeting anyone there.  I told him no, that I was just stopping in for a drink after work to avoid the bad traffic.  He told me I was a smart girl and then just lingered around for the next 10-15 minutes until he disappeared forever.  During his lingering time the guy next to me offered to scoot down so the guy could sit next to me and he declined.  Sad 😦 I feel like I should’ve made an attempt to keep the convo going, but I was so nervous!

The guy who was sitting next to me later apologized for offering the hot guy his seat.  He claimed he thought we were together and that he thought the guy wanted to sit next to me. No, no, I’m not that cool. YET! Sighhhh…. It was a good first attempt at the Patti Stanger project, I guess.

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