Did anyone watch the season premiere of The Real World St. Thomas last night? When I finished watching last season I decided that I was too old to watch anymore and wouldn’t be partaking in the next season, but when I started to see the previews I couldn’t resist, and so far it hasn’t disappointed.
I won’t ruin it for anyone who is hoping to catch a repeat, but I’ll just say I am rooting for Trey and Laura to get together and make babies. That’s the same thing I said about Dustin and Heather last season, and he ended up being a gay porn star..so it should be interesting.
Anyway, my apartment has started to turn into a Real World house of it’s own. I’ll spare you on all the gritty details, but a few weeks back I caught the hot roommate red-handed cheating on his girlfriend. I didn’t say anything, but the story has started to unfold. Saturday night all the roommates played beer pong and went to dinner and hot roommate was visibly upset because his girlfriend didn’t invite him to dinner with her family. And rumors are flying that he’s ’bout to get dumped. If you ask me he totes deserves it.
The real drama lies within the weird barbarian roommate though. Anth and I have daily bitch sessions about him and finally last night the hot roommate joined in.
The things we are complaining about aren’t your typical roommate annoying habits. Well, some of them are.
First off, this guy refuses to use the dishwasher at the off chance that he may put someone else’s plate in there/he doesn’t ever want to unload it. The thing of it is, unless you are hoarding your dirty dishes in your room – how do you know which ones are yours when you’re only hand washing them once a month? Here’s a clue bro: I’ve been doing them for you because the dishwasher gets ran every other day. Eat a dick. Anyway, I came home from work one day a few weeks ago and Anth was standing in the kitchen staring at a pile of dishes lying on a bath towel. I started cracking up because I knew exactly what he was thinking.
He went off about how he couldn’t belive someone would be so inconsiderate as to handwash the dishes and then lay them out to dry on a towel that he had just dried his junk with that morning. LOLZ. Oh Anth.
Then he was pissed because they were still sitting out the next day and moved them to the kitchen table where they remained for another week. At this point all I can do is laugh about it, getting pissed off at roommates takes way too much of my energy.
The other big complaint about this guy is how loud he has sex and the fact that it sounds like he’s beating the shit out of his girlfriend. None of us have gotten the guts yet to bring this up, because how do you say that? Do you ask the girlfriend? I mean honestly, it sounds like he beats her head against the wall. Last Sunday morning I was hungover laying on the couch watching a movie when they started at it. And it made me so uncomfortable that I went back down to my room and went back to sleep. Not only is it incredibly loud, they do it like 5 times a day. Here’s the schedule: wake up, have sex, make breakfast, have sex, watch tv, have sex, eat dinner, have sex, get ready for bed, have sex.
So last night, Anth was in my room doing his laundry and the hot roommate busts in with steam coming out of his nose. “Barbarian took my bike, WITHOUT ASKING, and I need to go to a volleyball game. Now I have to drive and pay to park.” So, Anth and I looked at each other and let loose with all our complaints. It ended up being quite the bonding session.
During all of this, me, Anth, and the Hot Roommate were all invited to a Yacht party for the 4th of July. The Barbarian, however, wasn’t invited and asked us all what we were doing. Considering the fact that Saturday when we all played beer pong he made the comment about how he loves looking into a dogs eyes when it takes a shit, he won’t be getting an invite any time soon.
I think we’re all in agreement that he gets voted off the island. Freaking weirdo.