Tag Archives: ryan gosling

7. Describe your perfect man/woman.

These are all so HARD.

Ever since all of the stuff with D, I feel really defeated in love.

I used to have this list of all these things I wanted in a man. And sometimes, I’ve gotten some of the things on that long list. But no matter who or what, that guy turns out to be an asshole. And now I’m in this place where I associate all of those good qualities I once wanted, with the bad ones that I got.

Like, yeah he looked great in a baseball hat…but he was controlling.


So…my dream guy…looks like Zac Efron…smells like Abercrombie (or anything mountain-lodgey)…is sweet to me… thinks I’m awesome… tells me I’m beautiful… is funny… smart… honest… doesn’t lie to me or cheat on me… actually he pretty much is Zac Efron’s character in the Lucky One, okay, I said it.

The older I get and the more single I become the more convoluted my fantasy man becomes. Right now I’d like it to be a mix between Zac Efron, Bruno Mars, Ryan Gosling, and Harry Styles. A little piece of each of them.

I’d like everything about Zac Efron, his face, his abs, his penis (assuming it’s big, but not too big, the perfect peen). Bruno Mars’ personality, sense of humor, and voice. Bruno’s sense of humor is kind of he doesn’t take life too seriously and can make fun of himself, and I really love it and that’s what makes him so attractive to me. Any trait the guy could get from Ryan Gosling would be fine, because the man is perfect. Harry Styles’ humbleness and it would be ok if the guy looked like him a little too. 

On a non-celebrity level I really just want someone who is honest. In all of my relationships that has been the one thing that has always been missing.  Guys are either not honest about where they’ve been/who they’ve been talking to or aren’t honest about their feelings and what they want, and right now that’s at the top of my list. Right below that is someone who is fun/funny and not a serious Debbie Downer.  It’s pretty rare for me to be in a bad mood or to be super serious about anything at all. I laugh at everything, so I really want someone who just has fun all of the time in any situation.  Someone who can take a joke and can dish them right back out would fit right in with me.  I’d also like to find a guy who is secure and confident with who he is.  The more I date the more I realize guys are way more insecure than girls, and it’s a huge buzzkill. Any guys that want to date me I really just need 3 things – be hot as fuck, funny, and honest. If I can find a guy like that I’m confident we will have a lifetime of happiness and really attractive children.

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3 degrees of separation to my [right now] 4th runner up

Remember a few weeks ago when I mentioned I was OB-SESSED with the new teeny bopper show Hollywood Heights? 

Well, I still am.  And every day I think the lead actor, Cody Longo, gets hotter and hotter.  At this moment in time he is my 4th runner up soul-mate.

1. Ryan Gosling (obvi)

2.  Zac Efron

3. Alexander Skarsgard

4. Cody Longo

Number 4 changes pretty frequently, but this guy will probably hold this spot for the remainder of the summer.  

Anyway, I did some twitter creeping and figured out our 3 degrees of separation.

1st degree – My friend, we’ll call her Karen, is in the biz and is friends with…

2nd degree – Miley Cyrus, who is friends with…

3rd degree – Cherie Daly, who is the girlfriend of…

Cody Longo

Boom! We’re practically married. 

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We’re getting married…to dudes!

That’s right, you read correctly, Me (Lucky) and my best pal Gizzy are finally getting hitched…and NOT to each other!

And so, like every other bride to be, there’s planning to be done, cakes to eat, parties to attend, registries to build, and of course, a wedding website to capture it all!  Wondering who the lucky gents are? Read and weep my friends…

Follow us on our newest journey: Lucky & Gizzy’s Fairytale Wedding

Happy Valentine’s/Single Awareness Day!

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Anth gets stood up. AHHHHHahahahahaha

So, this morning I had to eat my yogurt with a butter knife.  Everyone in my office was like stopping by my desk being all, “Gizzy what are you doing? Use a spoon you silly billy!”  Like they think I’m just using a knife because I like to challenge myself?  Le sigh.  Obvi, I forgot a spoon.  God, Mondays are the pits.

Anyway I’m sure rather than hearing about my utensil depraved meal you’d enjoy a story about how Anth got stood up last week.  Tehehehe!!

Sometimes I think he asks me questions so that I’ll reciprocate and ask him the same question back, then he can rub it in my face when he has a date because I never go on any, and I’m a big fat whiney loser. 

So Wednesday night I was sitting in traffic and I got a text from Anth, “What are you doing for dinner?” This isn’t immediately a red flag that he has a date because sometimes we will get dinner together. BUT, since I’ve been on my Hawaii diet plan (17 more days!!!) I’ve limited my meals to celery, pickles, lettuce, and smelling actual food and he is fully aware of this.  So I replied, “Ummm licking my burger shaped ice block… what are you doing for dinner?”  His reply? “Date night.”  I should’ve just stopped and let it eat at him that I could care less about his floozy date, but instead I asked him about it, “Oh! Who are you taking out and where are you going?!” “Megan. Italian restaurant.” 

I may have already filled you guys in on how Anth met Megan, I honestly can’t remember, but none the less it’s a funny/pathetic story so I’ll tell it again.  Our friend Snatch works with Megan’s mother.  Megan’s mother was always showing Snatch pictures of Megan and going on and on about her blah blah blah.  Well, Snatch recently got married so he couldn’t go for Megan, but guess who could?  Why Snatch’s BFF Anth, of course!  Snatch showed Anth some pictures of Megan where she looked like you guessed it, Megan Fox, so Anth was all about it.  The plan was that Anth would friend Megan on facebook and the rest would be history.

And it went down pretty much exactly like that.  Anth has taken Megan out a few different times, but like all the other girls he takes on dates, he claims she’s sOoOoOoOoO much more into him than he is her.

Back to last week:  the plan was that Anth would take Megan to the Italian restaurant (The same restaurant he takes ALL of his dates.  Um, hilarious.) on Wednesday night and that would be that.  He was supposed to pick her up at 7:30.  Around 7 she texted him asking if they could eat at 8 because she had just gotten off work (late) and didn’t think she’d be able to make it home and get ready in half an hour.  So they changed the date to 8.  At 7:45 Anth texted her asking where she lived because he was about to leave and at 8:20 when she still hadn’t responded I started making jokes that he was getting stood up and how that must really hurt the ego.  Then I left.  At 9:15 when I returned he was still there, still hadn’t heard from her, and told me “I think she fell asleep.” 

Well sure enough on Friday he tells me that the date is rescheduled for Monday and he was right she fell asleep.  “She said that she put her phone next to her head so that when I texted her it would wake her up, but she dozed off and didn’t hear it.”  You know, I operate the exact same way, this is NOT what happened, whether he believes it or not, she didn’t want to go on the date.

Of course I didn’t tell Anth that she just flat out stood him up, because I kind of have a heart.  But, Saturday night Lucky and I spent our evening on the phone and laughed and laughed over what we knew was going through this girl’s head.

Because really? She had just gotten off work at 7, a half an hour wasn’t enough time to get ready, but an hour is enough time to get ready AND take a little napski?  I don’t think sooooo.   

So I just let him think she fell asleep, I didn’t want to be the one to crush his dreams and inform him that he’s not God’s gift to women like he thinks – that is, until Friday night rolled around.

I was having a little brewski, celebrating another week in the office where I didn’t kill anyone and explaining to Anth all of the reasons why Ryan Gosling and I are soul mates (seriously, the guy is so perfect I could BARF) while heating up my dinner in the toaster oven when he started to piss me off:

A: Ummmm why are you baking that? It should be on toast.

G: Does it really matter?  Either way the food will get warm.

A: Toasting will make it crispy.

G: It’s a fucking chicken wrap.

A: Just saying.

G: Well, good thing you’re not eating it.

There were a series of conversations like this throughout the night.  Then, the last straw was after I inhaled about 5 beers and he started in about this girl he hooked up with at a wedding a few weeks ago:

A: This girl isn’t talking to me.  And I just don’t understand!!! Why hasn’t she texted me?!!

G: Uhh, probably cause she doesn’t fucking like you!

A: Wha?! No, she likes me.

G: The lack of texting seems to say differently.

A: No, you’re wrong.

G: I think it’s funny.

A: What?

G: I think it’s really fucking funny that you think you’re all that and a bag of chicken and this girl doesn’t like you AND you got stood up on Wednesday.  You needed something to pop your giant head.

A: My head isn’t giant.  You are suuuuch a bitch.

G:  😀

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