Tag Archives: single in the city

Gizzy vs. Big City

I would like to say ditto to Lucky’s post yesterday.  I’m bored with my life and I just moved 8 months ago.  I think a lot of it is because I’m not meeting new people that I like and want to hang out with and because it’s a hassle to try to go out and find new people.  Not a hassle as in going up to people and striking up a conversation, it’s just a hassle to go out.  After roaming the streets waiting for an empty cab to pick you up, waiting in traffic when you finally get a ride, and scoping out the scene I’m exhausted before I ever even get my first drink and I’ve already spent $20 and an hour out.  Let alone my friends here are all dudes.  That’s problem #2.  I’m missing the token partner in crime.  

When Lucky was here we had a blast.  We were meeting people left and right and it was the first time since I had moved to the big city that I gave a guy my number.  When I’m out with a group of guys it’s like no one will come up to me because I’m standing there with 3 dudes, but then I don’t feel comfortable going up to hot guys because what do I say? Hey do you wanna come do some shots with me and my friends…Anth, JM, and Doogie? You guys will have tons in common! You all have weiners.

I guess my first step, as lesbian as it sounds, would be to meet a single girl to go out with.  Then we can go out and meet guys.  I do have Jess, but she’s one of those girls.  And by those girls I mean she is the type of girl where yes she is a cute girl, but she’s no prettier than me or any other girl, but some how she gets all the guys.  Yeah, maybe it’s because she can’t handle her booze and gets drunk after one drink and guys think shes easy or maybe it’s because she makes it a point to eye fuck the shit out of every guy that she thinks is attractive.  Maybe a little of both.

But while we’re being honest, I don’t think my soulmate/person I’m going to marry is in this city – I’m here for my career.  100% of the guys I have met in this city are into themselves and themselves only and I am not into that.  It’s exactly like college.  The only thing they do on the weekend is party and get laid. 

For example, 2 weekends ago I had plans to go to the beach and hang out with Jess.  After the beach we were going to come back get ready and go out for a girls night. 20 minutes before she’s supposed to be at my apartment she calls me and says she’s bringing her friend Mary, fine with me. 

When she gets to my apartment she informs me that we’re going to meet her flavor of the week, his friend, and cousin at the beach and they want us to bring a bottle of alcohol and they will get chasers.  Unfair, but whatever I have an exccess of booze from my days as a liquor promoter so I grabbed a bottle of that and we were on our way.

We get to the beach and first I meet Jess’ flavor, he’s cute but totally into himself and barely paid her any attention all day long because he was busy picking up other girls on the beach right in front of her face.  I mean why wouldn’t he? She had already slept with him on their first date so there’s nothing else to look forward to.  So he got wasted (off of my alcohol) and wandered around looking for his next piece of ass.

While on the other hand, his cousin (to my surprise, was The Bed Wetter) and friend had their sights focused on me.  Before the friend ever heard me speak a word had already told Jess that he liked me, and Jess had already conveyed the information to me.  Like no, he doesn’t like me, he likes the way I look and wants to fuck me.  After I started the down slope to 30 I decided I’m not dealing with guys like that anymore because they’re the assholes that will inevitiably fuck me over.  Because honestly?  What in the hell makes this guy think he even stands a chance with me?  Not that I am some beauty queen awesome person who thinks they’re better than everyone else, but you really think we are 12 years old and you can tell my friend you like me and I’ll just rip my clothes off?

This is what I mean, every guy here is full of themselves.  If they have a corporate job they think they’re awesome and they can get any girl that their stone cold hearts desire.  No thank you.

So anyway, I’ve made the executive decision that once I’ve been at my job for 1 year (January) I’m going to start the job search again.  I think I’ve proven to anyone that gives a shit that I can make it in the big city and now I’m over it.  If I’m ever going to get married and settle down I don’t want it to be with one of these full of themselves assholes who will probably have an affair with his sexretary. 

The people here aren’t good people, and that’s what I need in my life.  I’ve prooven myself and there’s 5 months left on the clock, so here you go Big City… it’s your turn. 

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I’m being office sabotaged!

It’s the moment you’ve all been sitting on the edge of your chairs waiting for since Tuesday.  Drum roll please…. MY LUNCH WITH CORNED BEEF.  Annnd the crowd roaaars.  I’ve been wining and dining myself tonight, clearly.  But on to the story…if you haven’t read my post from last week about an email I got from a co-worker it may be helpful to catch up on the situation before reading the rest of this.

Tuesday quickly rolled around this week, and that morning I was so nervous I could hardly do any work before lunch.  I was texting Lucky on my way to work about how sweaty my hands were and I wasn’t even there to feel out the vibe yet.  When I did get to work I was there for a few hours and Corned Beef finally showed her face at my desk to ask if I had any questions.  She was normal.  Hrmmm.  She went back to her desk, then sent me an email:

11:30 sound ok for lunch?

I told her yes and then immediately texted Lucky saying how weird it was that she would email me that and not ask me when she was at my desk 2 SECONDS before that.  She definitely didn’t want anyone to know we were going out to lunch.  

Finally 11:30 rolled around, we made small talk on the way to the elevator and as soon as we stepped outside shit got cray cray.

“So the reason I didn’t want to talk in the office is because I didn’t want Cigarello to hear.”

Which was kind of what I had figured and I told her that.  Then she proceeded to tell me that she thinks he was trying to sabotage and mess up my accounts to make himself look better because she had found 40 pages worth of mistakes he had made on over 500 accounts (that’s half of my accounts, in case anyone was wondering) and it’s taken her 3 weeks to get it corrected.  She said she informed all of the bosses that it wasn’t me who was messing up that it was Cigarello.  I guess this is the exact same thing that the guy who I replaced got fired for, so it was some need to know info for me.  She didn’t want anyone to come to me accusing me of messing everything up and trying to fire me over it when I really did nothing wrong.

She proceeded to inform me that I’m doing a really good job and catching on really quickly but that I do need to watch out for Cigarello basically that he is crazy.  Which I have been starting to catch onto since he ran his face into the window a few weeks ago trying to look at the clouds and is still talking about it 3 weeks later.  

Apparently when she sat at my desk he would listen in on her private phone calls concerning her health and things of that matter and go and tell everyone and would just make laps around the office for no apparent reason.  Not to mention it’s super creepy and weird when he pops his head up over our half wall and just stares at me, just like Wilson – only creepier and weirder:


Personally I wouldn’t ever take/make any call that I didn’t want people to over hear at work, but I get what she’s saying – a grown up wouldn’t run and tell all their friends that Corned Beef has a bad heart and might die soon and then come back and look over the half wall like a child molester who just got caught with his hands down his pants.

But as we were entering the holy grail of lunch spots swarming with young hot doctors she tells me that Cigarello used to work at the Press at our company for 18 years and got fired for sabotaging his co-workers.  He’s friends from high school with our boss’ boss (the one who gave me the best baseball seats ever) and that’s how he got the job in our office, he doesn’t even have an accounting background.  Well that explains why he sucks at his job, but not so much why he sucks as a person.

So she went on to tell me some other Cigarello tid bits about how he has mastered the art of turning a professional phone call into a personal one, which I’ve noticed and I’ve also noticed he calls everyone he knows if he’s leaving an hour early or taking a day off.  She also said basically everyone hates him so I shouldn’t feel like other people won’t like me if I’m not nice to him. Pretty much solving all my problems 1 by 1.  

When we got back I saw all of the boss’ go into the conference room with Cigarello for the rest of the afternoon (we’re talking at least 3 hours.)  I crossed my fingers and wished on my lucky stars that he would get fired but he was still there today being annoying and weird as ever.  

The good part is I think my boss thought I was the one fucking everything up and now that she realizes it wasn’t me she has been overly nice to me.  She even came to my desk at quarter to five and asked why I was staying late.  Um you don’t have to tell me twice, I’ll leave.

Anyway, the moral of the story here is that Corned Beef is a nice lady and my friend like I thought and hoped, she was just looking out for me and wanted to make me aware of the situation.  She even sent me an email today asking if we could make going out to lunch a more regular thing so that we can get out of the office and she can introduce me to more people.  I agreed, especially considering when we walked into the young doctor lunch hot spot I nearly fainted and told her I was husband hunting for my dear friend Lucky and I while we chatted.  Hopefully she can introduce me to a few prospects, or at least a few friends more my age.

The end.   Wasn’t that a nice happy ending? For now…

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Blackmail is my friend

Something happened this past weekend that really disturbed me.  Anth brought home ANOTHER girl.  

Not just any girl, one of our friend’s little sisters.  It took a lot of teeth pulling to get him to admit it to me, even though I already had my suspicions because I knew he was meeting her out Saturday night, and then when I heard him sneaking her out down the fire escape I pretty much knew. Him hooking up with this girl would be a friendship ruiner for all of us with this particular friend.  Not because I would’ve told on him, but Doogie’s girlfriend was there and definitely would’ve ratted him out.  Of course our friend would be mad at Anth for hooking up with his little sister, but he would be just as mad at the rest of us for not telling him or stopping it from happening.  But that wasn’t what disturbed me to the core.  It was just the fact that it was another Saturday night, and another random girl he has no intention of dating.

The next day when Anth and I talked about it, I called him a whore and he went off on a big tangent about how he’s not a whore and when he wants to he’ll stop sleeping around.  And we’re even still talking about it 3 days later on facebook 10 feet away from each other because Doogie doesn’t know:

A: Britt Britt is hot (Britt Britt is NOT the girl from this weekend)

G: Who is Britt Britt? #2?

A: EASY! Yes, Brittany

G: Oh yeah, she was a cute girl.  She was friendlier than #1 so that’s why I liked her.

A: That’s going to come out on accident or drunkenly and I am just going to wag my finger at you.  And ground you.

G: What? The number system?

A: Yes.  I actually kind of like Brittany, I think I’m going to see her this weekend.

G: You should do that. She seemed fun.

A: Yeah, that’s the #2 thing I’m worried about since we’re numbering things. #1 is she went to HS with Doogie and his girlfriend and Kate and Melissa are friends with her.

G: She’s too much fun? I mean she didn’t put out so she’s not a whore.  I thought that would be #1.

A: she did…. but not the first night.  Hence the date.

G: Wow, you are such a dbag.  No offense.

A: Shut up I was kidding.  Actually no I’m not.  Why is that dbag? I’m not dating any whores that bang the night I meet them.  I didn’t used to even take them home but then I just got sick of not coming home with chicks.  You need to come get briefed on the Kate/Melissa situation.

G: What’s the K/M sitch? I’m doing laundry. (Not really, I just didn’t want to get out of bed) It’s just dbag bc girls go home with you because they want a relationship and because they think you’re a nice guy and you don’t want a relationship and you have no intention of dating them.  Dbag.

A: Yeah that’s stupid.  Someone on their floor got murdered.  They’re coming to stay here for…a while.

So this just ruined my life.  Kate and Melissa are nice girls but they’re fucking annoying.  Like where the fuck are they going to sleep/put their stuff? We’re already 6 deep in a 3 person apartment with Doogie, his girlfriend, JM, Me, Anth and his whores.  We can’t possibly accommodate 2 more girls that have twice as many belongings as the rest of us combined.  Not to mention if I have to hear them talk every day I am going to kill someone.  They have Fran Dresher voices.  Eff.  They even dress exactly alike:


See: Both wearing a tank top with a long cardigan over it, shorts, and bootie shoes.  And they bring over 6 chicken nuggets as dinner for the 2 of them and only eat 3.  I mean it’s whatever.  I think they’ll get annoyed in about a day and go home.  Especially because I told Anth if one of them even goes a minute into my shower time I’m not paying anymore rent and telling everyone he hooked up with our friend’s little sister.  Yes, blackmail is my friend.

Anyway, Anth’s bout with whoreism got me thinking.  I know there are girls out there who sleep around, but I’d like to think the big majority of girls (at least girls my age) that go home with guys from bars are really looking for a relationship so they can find their prince charming and get married.  But 99% of the time the guys girls go home with from bars are just like Anth and only in it for the sex.  No surprise there.  And the girl is immediately vulnerable because she wants more than the guy out of the one night fling.  

Not that I’m going out picking up random bar dudes, but I feel like there’s a good amount of guys who ask girls on dates just to get them in the sack.  Which is probably more what happens in my age group then randomly going home with guys from bars.  So why in the hell do we put up with these assholes who just use us? We know that no guy we are meeting in a bar is our soul mate.  And these guys just get to do whatever they want, they’re not trying to get to know us, they just want in our pants.  Again, no big surprise.

Side note: Totally realized I just skipped over the whole murder thing.  Eh, it’s the big city, what do you expect?  2 people were murdered a block from my office a few months ago, but you don’t see me working from my friend’s offices.  Was that a good analogy? No?

Anyway, since I haven’t been getting asked on a ton of dates anyway (no dates) I figured now would be a good time to not only get to know myself again without a man in the picture (don’t get all girl power on me yet) and turn down every guy that asks me on a date until 2012 at least 1 time. Let me paint the scenario for you:

Guy: Gizzy you’re so cool, do you want to go out Friday night?

Gizzy: Um, no.

Guy: *Crushed soul*

Then, only if he is truly interested he’ll come back and ask a second time.  This is a risky game, but I need to be single for a while until I stop hating men so I think this is a good start.

Today is my big “office politics” meeting with Corned Beef, if it’s awful and I run out crying I will probably post an emergency blog.  If not, the story will be told Thursday.  Eccckk!! Wish me luck, and thanks for everyones advice!

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Office politics a no no

Tis a Sunday for a weekend post.  I slacked off on Friday and didn’t post but I need some advice like rull bad so thus – a weekend post! Hooray!

I didn’t get up at 3am to watch the Royal Wedding like Lucky did, but I have been catching the repeats all weekend.  I don’t envy Kate Middleton as much as I envy Harry’s girlfriend Chelsy Davy.  Will is the guy we all know we should like because he is straight laced and a gentleman, but bad boy Harry is just so freaking cute.  And still on the market.   Lucky, switch up our trip to Italy for London?

This whole Royal Wedding thing has made me take a look at my own life though, I just loved the ceremony and all of the traditions they took part in.  It was so formal and not at all American which is why it screams class.  The fact that they waited until they got to Buckingham Palace before they even had their first kiss is just precious.  I want that.  But it’ll never happen, because I’m American and in America if you’re not all over your new spouse at the wedding people whisper and think you don’t love each other.  Ughhh…. eff this country.  Anyway, in honor of the holiday and from now to eternity please refer to Lucky and I by our Royal names honorably given to us by E!’s Royal Name generator:

Princess Gizzy Arabella Ingleshirecott of New Yorksburgh and Dame Lucky Tildsley De Sotocock of New Yorkport

But, on to my real problem: work.  Things seem to be getting easier every day, I’m still learning a lot and hate pretty much everyone I work with but I feel like I get a hell of a lot more than anyone else accomplished and I’m almost to the point where I can sit at my desk and google fun things until I get an email of someone asking me to do something, then I can start working.  

So there’s this part time lady, we’ll call her Corned Beef.  There are 4 other people that hold the same position I’m in, and a few years ago Corned Beef was one of us, she wasn’t at my desk but when the guy who sat at my desk suddenly got fired last year everyone pitched in to pick up the slack until they hired me 9 months later.  Corned Beef only works 2 days a week so she misses a big majority of the drama that happens with our accounts while she’s not working.  The past few weeks she’s been working on these reports basically to make sure we’re all doing everything correctly.  She had come to me about a few things that I was putting into the system wrong, I took note of it and we all went on our marry day.  Until Friday morning when I got to the office and saw she had sent this email Thursday night:

Hi Gizzy,
Since I know you bring your lunch I wanted to ask in advance if you would like to go for lunch next week.  I have a few things that I have found that are work related that I want to discuss with you and would prefer to not do that in the office.  Don’t be afraid…..there are things that I have found while doing the exception reports that I want to go over with you and some other office politics items.  I must admit that going through those reports is down rite mundane, but at the same time very enlightening!
I don’t know if you have been to the cafeteria for lunch, if not they have a big selection of items and the food is good, but expensive.  Consider lunch on me, since I am inviting and it will be considered part of training.  Let me know if Tues. or Thurs. is better for you.

Corned Beef

I know what you’re all thinking, Gizzy you’re such a tool that email is not bad at all she is trying to help you, which is exactly what Anth and JM told me when I got home Friday night and made them analyze it with me.  But, I am pretty sensitive to any kind of criticism when it comes to my work, I take detailed notes on EVERYTHING and ask a lot of questions and take work very seriously because if something goes wrong I am going to make sure it wasn’t my fault – to the point where I have a hard time making friends in the office (as you can clearly see by now.) People always tell me that I’m too serious and need to take a break and go outside and get some fresh air.  Uhhh no, because not taking breaks means I can leave half an hour earlier.  And that’s what this is all for, so I can come home and lay in my bed.  Seriously, once I have all of my student loans paid off and buy myself a new car I’m quitting my job and getting one where I only have to work 15 hours a week that just pays my rent and utilities.  

But anyway, Cocktails At Tiffany’s readers this is where I am reaching out to you.  What do you guys think this email means?  Did I fuck up so badly that she has to take me to lunch to tell me I’m about to get fired? Is she trying to shit talk Cigarello because he taught me how to do everything wrong and doesn’t want him to hear? What are the office politics about!? They’ve already told me there’s not much room for promotion so they don’t expect me to stay more than 2 years, so how could there possibly be office politics involved at all? I don’t talk to anyone so I’m not manipulating people.  This all just seems so weird to me.

Lucky did some analyzing with me Friday morning while she was at her work retreat, and I told her that I don’t think the lady is trying to be malicious or rude because she’s really my only friend at the office.  But, I don’t understand why it needs to be taken outside of the office when we have conference rooms and empty offices we could easily talk in.  Lucky pointed out that it’s inappropriate that she’s taking it outside of the office, and I agree.  Especially if she’s going to tell me I’m doing a bunch of things wrong, I understand not wanting to embarrass me in front of anyone else, but I also feel like if I’m doing things wrong my boss needs to call me into her office to talk to me about it, not someone who is there 2 days a week and who is essentially below me and one of my assistants on our work totem pole.  

The “lunch meeting” is on Tuesday, so bring on your thoughts.  I need to prepare myself for anything that could fly my way Tuesday afternoon.

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