Tag Archives: where is the love

There’s a great bathroom debate!

My office has been having a lot of bathroom issues lately.

It’s not as gross as it sounds, I promise.

In November, they told us the women’s bathroom on our second floor (where there is both a men’s and a women’s restroom with multi-stalls) was “Out of order” and couldn’t be used.

I didn’t ask questions and started going to the 1st floor bathroom, which is a one-holer…and freezing cold, if I might add.

But when a month passed, and our bathroom was still broken, people started asking questions. We found out that all of the toilets in the bathroom worked, there were just broken tiles on the floor. So, a construction crew came, ripped up the broken tiles, and then we never saw them again.

So, I started using the second floor bathroom (at my own risk) and simply avoiding the parts of the floor with no tiles. Didn’t bother me much. Well, it’s May, and the tiles are still missing (as well as the construction crew).

Last Friday, a chain of emails started in the office regarding our current bathroom situation. Please enjoy:

Hello, Staff.
 
This is to let everyone know Jason has decided that the men’s room on the 2nd floor will now be used by the ladies since there are more women than men on that floor.  So, gentlemen, please don’t use that restroom after today.  Also, I have a “Women’s Restroom” sign to tape to the door if someone would like to come downstairs and put it up there for me.  (Ladies, I recommend not using it until the sign is on the door in case the men should forget.)
 
Thanks,
 
Christine

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RE: 2nd floor men’s bathroom

So if we are confined to the men’s bathroom on the first floor near the mini conference room, we are either going to need a lock on the door or a divider put up by the urinal. I can’t speak for everyone, but there are certain types of exposure I tend to shy away from. -Steve

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RE: 2nd floor men’s bathroom

Remind me why they can’t fix the ladies’ room on the second floor? Jim

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RE: 2nd floor men’s bathroom

Guys, I guess we’re in the dog pound now for no fault of our own, this is why I choose to have 2 restrooms to myself at home. Frank

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The bathroom by the staircase is unisex and the door locks in that one. The other bathroom can be awkward. Ernie

*   *   *

Christine, would you mind asking Facility Services to put a lock on the men’s room door on the first floor, or make some other suggestions for how to improve that facility? All the guys, from Jason on down, have commented that it has a very awkward set up. Thanks!
K

No, this is where I work. Let that sink in for a minute.

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I HAD A DATE!

Yes, you read that correctly! I went on a date—a BLIND date—Friday.

Since dating D, I’ve only been on one date…and it wasn’t so great (not horrible, but we didn’t go on a second date).

While I’m not in a mind-space of thinking that I necessarily need a boyfriend, I am starting to get bored with myself. Like GOD, can I just leave the apartment once in awhile? Or go and get dressed up for drinks, or something?

So, I jumped at the chance when one of my girlfriends from college sent me a text saying she had a friend she thought I’d be compatible with. I trust her, and she’s got great taste…besides, I had nothing to lose, so I told her, yes I was down for it.

I didn’t really think it was going to happen—not saying she’s a flake by any means, I just didn’t know how serious she, or this guy, was. But about a week later, he sent me his name and asked me out for dinner and drinks via text.

It took everything I had not to Google him; I wanted to go in totally blind. However, I gave Gizzy his name and had HER Google him and just tell me if she saw any red flags right off the bat. She didn’t, so I was glad.

So, Friday, he offered to pick me up and take us downtown to a nice wine bar. When I saw him, in the street, I was pleasantly surprised. He was fit, clean cut, dressed in a button-down shirt, with a small tattoo near his wrist.

We walked a ways and started talking, as we headed toward his car. He opened my car door.

At the wine bar, we both got wine flights, tasted each other’s wine picks, ate some food, and talked. A lot. And I shit you not, he told me I was gorgeous, and that he was surprised our mutual friend didn’t mention how “lovely” I was.

I was nearly blushing—no one has ever said those things to me.

Around midnight, we went for a walk downtown, and found a small, quiet bar to keep talking and get a few more beers. Turns out, we have quite a bit of things in common.

When the bar closed, he took me home, walked me to my door, and gave me a kiss. It was very sweet.

When I got into bed, he’d sent me a text: “Thank you so much for the company tonight. You were more incredible than I imagined. Goodnight and sweet dreams!”

He called me last night, and asked me for a second date this Friday—we are going to a rooftop sushi place. I’m pretty excited, and of course, I’ll keep you posted!

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This is what I decided…

Alright, soooo last week I filled y’all in on the trials and tribulations of my job.

This is what I decided.

For now, I’m going to hold off on making some giant, ta-da plan, and just hunker down and hunt for new jobs. Because, sometimes, a problem just isn’t worth fixing.

So, yesterday I updated my resume. And today, I applied for two jobs that both look pretty cool. And you know what? I feel really good about that decision, because today has been a real shit hole in the office.

Of course, it’s Monday, so there’s that. Then, I’m getting some serious work done, and that whole memo thing starts where one person calls me, tells me something to do, I do it, then someone comes in my office and tells me to do the exact same thing, and then I get an email an hour later saying, nevermind.

graaarrrrrr.

Meanwhile, I’ve been watching old episodes of MTV’s Life of Ryan while I do my work—it really makes the day more pleasant.

Anyway, enough about that.

While I didn’t do anything festive on Easter, I was generally just really happy to be relaxing, in my bed, watching DVDs of Sex and The City, because last year on Easter, my then-boyfriend was cheating on me.

I’m just so happy that I’m not in that situation, and that I’ve moved on.

Anyway, that’s all for now…

 

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Songs I’m obsessed with right now.

1. White Walls by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

2. Royals by Lorde

3. Dear Marie by John Mayer

4. Crooked Smile by J Cole featuring TLC

5. Give it 2 U by Robin Thicke with 2 Chainz

6. Body Party by Ciara

7. Love More by Chris Brown, featuring Nicki Minaj

8. Wait A Minute by Justin Bieber, featuring Tyga

9. Dark Horse by Katy Perry, featuring Juicy J

10. Bass Down Low by DEV, featuring The Cataracs

Those are my JAMS right now! What songs are you dancing to?

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Time to lay on the couch.

Tomorrow, I meet with my therapist (Lopez) for the first time in a month.

He’s been trying to push my appointments back to once a month, but I protested, until now—I felt like things were going pretty good.

And I would say, for the most part, things are pretty good.

You might recall my post last week, which was basically a list of successes I’ve encountered just in the last month. Really exciting!

But over this last year, I’ve found that in moments of success like that, sometimes it’s even more difficult for me to put on a happy face.

I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’ve got one theory.

I feel like I get so excited over these personal victories, but then my high comes crashing to a halt when I realize I’ve got no one to share my success with.

Okay, maybe that’s a little bit dramatic.

I do have good friends.

But I don’t have that guy…you know; the one who’s going to come see me succeed, cheer me on, and tell me how proud of me he is.

Am I pathetic for wanting that?

Over the weekend, I was asked to participate in a literature event; where I would sell books, do an interview, and a reading.

Wow… that’s been one of my biggest dreams for almost 10 years.

I was giddy. And I pictured myself there. And it was amazing.

And then I pictured the event being over, and me, alone, packing up my things and driving home to Blanche, my cat, then me eating leftovers, and crawling into bed by myself.

Sad.

I know these things take time, and I know, I’ve been through a FUCK TON this year. My emotions are certainly changing every single day.

But I’m just ready for things to be even keel. I’m ready for things to be okay again.

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Wait for a Minute.

Anyone heard Justin Bieber’s new song, feat. Tyga, “Wait for a Minute”? …Because it is AWESOME.

Between hearing that on Friday and seeing The Biebs walk with Maywether to the ring, my love for Bieber has been rekindled. Not that it was on the rocks or anything.

BULGeRzIgAAvreF.jpg-large

Alright, enough of the bullshit, it’s time I come clean about me and this trainer. Here is what you need to know. His name is CR and he is a professional fighter and he’s really, really hot.

I want to post a picture of his naked body for you; but he has many distinctive tattoos that would give him away. After all, he was on a reality TV show last year.

When he started training at my gym, I was still dating D. I took a few of his classes, but honestly didn’t think much of it.

And then when D and I broke up, I thought he was cute. Then I thought he was kinda hot. Then I thought he was sexy as hell.

You know how it is.

At the gym, he would always talk to Marcy, but not me, so I thought maybe he was into her. Then one day he asked me why I never took his class.

“I do,” I said.

And that was that.

Then around mid-August, we added each other on Facebook.

That’s also the same time I discovered he was engaged.

A few days later, at the gym, I told him he was a pussy—really just kidding around. He told me I would pay for it during my next workout.

And he kicked. My. Ass.

“This is all your fault,” he said.

The next day, he sent me a message on Facebook saying he hoped I wasn’t sore…

Two days later, we had phone sex.

We started sending nasty sexts to each other—(in no order):

CR: That ass will be in my hands pulling down

ME: I want to get on top so you can touch

CR: I have my hands on that ass while you wrap ya legs around me against the wall

…Since then, we’ve sent nearly 8,000 messages to each other, including pictures, and we’ve had sex a handful (pun intended) of times.

I know, you’re probably ready to throw your computer or mobile device out the window right now, saying: LUCKY!!!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! HAVEN’T YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?? YOU’RE INVITING BAD KARMA YOUR WAY…

Yes, yes I know.

I don’t have answers for you.

The only thing I can say is that I’m blaming it on D. I just couldn’t have him be the last person I slept with.

And although CR is engaged AND living with his fiancee, I can say without a doubt, he is THE hottest guy I’ve ever fucked, and it’s some of the best sex I’ve ever had.

That’s nothing to feel bad over, right?

I don’t feel an emotional attachment like I did when I was sleeping with the married guy…which is good.

I hate to say it, but I feel pretty bitter about men these days, so it doesn’t surprise me that CR is willing to cheat on his gorgeous-pharmacist of a fiancee. Because he’s a guy and that’s what guys do, right?

So, if he’s going to cheat, it may as well be with me.

Let the haters, hate.

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Let me elaborate.

After I found out D was cheating on me, I was upset for about a day. Then, about a week later, I found out he got dumped.

This made me feel better. It even made me laugh a little.

About a week after that, I found out he got fired from his job.

For stealing cash.

This made me dance in the middle of the grocery store.

Later, when I told this story to one of my guy friends, he told me that was mean of me, and that I shouldn’t wish ill on someone.

Let me set the record straight. I never wished ill upon him, I was merely celebrating the fact that justice had been served.

Although I now know that Karma is a real thing, finding out that not only was my ex cheating on me, but he was also stealing money the entire time…makes me wonder about the kind of person I am.

How did I have clearly NO idea who this person was? We practically lived together and little did I know he was living like 3 lives.

Since all of this went down, I’ve been getting several calls from blocked numbers…could it be D?

I have no idea.

I hate to admit it, but all of this really has me questioning relationships in general. I feel like the more I date, the more clueless I become.

I spoke to my therapist about this, and he told me it was okay to feel this way. He said it was understandable that I’m feeling guarded and even a little bit bitter.

According to Lopez, when I find the one, he’s going to be the one even if I’m guarded, and even if it takes me 6 months to come around.

This thought comforts me. Tremendously.

Thoughts?

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Why I am a quitter, part II.

Of course I was pissed they gave the job to someone else, but what bothered me even more was that I didn’t even know about it. 

If I’m going to lose at something, I want it to be fair. Give us an interview and tell me I wasn’t the better person for the job. 

After that, it was just downhill. Every story that I pitched was ignored and I only wrote the stories that were assigned to me, which were okay, but not ones I was passionate about. 

Yes, I know, the life of a freelance writer isn’t as glamorous as we’d all like to believe, but there are magazines out there that have meetings, and give ample time to meet deadlines, and actually respect their writers. 

I had been toyed with the idea of quitting for months, but it clicked when they gave me a cover story (large assignment) at the last minute, and then bugged the shit out of me, telling me who to contact (as if I’d never done this before) and setting up 3 photo shoots to get one right picture. 

I had just had it. I’ve been writing for 12 years now, and I’ve worked my way from the bottom up…and this place was still treating me like I was brand new. 

So I quit after the cover story was published. 

My email to the editor was short and sweet, listing no reason for my resignation. Of course, he wrote right back, but I haven’t replied yet as I don’t feel like getting into a back and forth with them. 

I am hoping this gives me more time to do things that I enjoy (like blogging) and perhaps I will find another freelance gig that is more rewarding. 

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A conversation with my boyfriend.

Below is a conversation I had with D last night, via text, because he is a big pussy and won’t talk to me on the phone. I was going to post this whole schpeal and everything leading up to the conversation, but honestly, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy.

8:13 D—How’d class go?

8:14 ME **calling D**

8:14 ME—You never answer!

9:26 D—I passed out.

9:51 D—Guess you did as well. Sorry

9:53 D— 😦

9:55 D—Goodnight

9:57 ME—Goodnight

10:01 D—You ok?

10:02 ME—No.

10:02 D— Talk to me tell me.

10:03 ME—I’ve been trying to call you, text you for 24 hours and I feel like you are pushing me away. I don’t know what I did but I can’t guess on how to solve the problem.

10:04 D—I’m sorry I’m not trying to

10:04 ME—I feel like you hate me.

10:04 D—I don’t hate you.

10:05 ME—Yes, it has been distant but its been a rough few weeks. I am someone who likes to work things out if they are worth a try. we’ve been in a great place before so I don’t feel like it’s a lost cause but ignoring me is not the answer. I just had a freaking meltdown.

10:07 D—I’m so sorry. So much has been going on with work and what not. I’m trying to deal with it.

10:07 ME—D, I understand that. But you have to tell me stuff, I cannot just guess. The person I love tells me he’s not happy in the relationship…that is the worst feeling. I can’t even get my boyfriend to talk to me.

10:10 D—it’s not you. I’m unhappy with my situation.

10:11 ME—Well, would you be happier without me around.

10:12 D—Noooooo I would never say that

10:12 ME—Well I have to ask because it feels that way

10:13 D—I’m so sorry

10:14 ME—I understand you’ve got stuff to deal with. But we are in a relationship. You can tell me stuff. I will always do what I can to help you, even if you need a night alone or whatever. we are both in this and we are supposed to be able to count on each other

10:15 D—I know

10:28 D—sleeping?

10:30 ME—No.

10:31 D—I can’t say sorry enough.

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Dear Mr. Nice Guy…

Dear Mr. Nice Guy, 

I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for the past three months. He recently expressed to me that he feels like I don’t show affection toward him when we are in front of our families. Looking back on it, I can see his point. However, I have never been big on PDA and I certainly don’t want to disrespect his parents by being too physical in front of them. Is there a happy medium here?

Best, 

Shy Gurl

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HeadshotDear Shy Gurl,

Your boyfriend does have a point, yet at the same time he doesn’t. This all really depends on how the two of you define PDA.
A question for you would be what sort of affection would you feel comfortable expressing towards him in front of your families? A question for him would be to what level of PDA does he expect? Obviously he’s not going to honk your boob, followed by you kung-fu gripping his crotch, while playing a friendly game of Trivial Pursuit with his family. (At least I hope not.)
These people probably know the two of you are in a committed relationship. The expectation that two individuals are going to treat their significant other just like any average friend, regardless of company, is ridiculous. Ignorance my be bliss when it comes to the more affectionate activities of couples, but most people possess this thing called tact. You’ve already shown you have this particular trait, so I’m not worried about your clothes coming off at Thanksgiving dinner resulting in little Suzy having to avert her eyes while you pounce on her uncle.
To be honest, the level of PDA you express depends on your personal comfort level. This could even evolve as time passes. The two of you have been together for 3 months. Odds are you are still just getting to know his family. It goes without saying you want to make a good impression on them, thus respect ranks high on your list of qualities to want to fire in their direction.
Though it’s difficult to say precisely what is acceptable, and what is not, (as this can vary family to family) here is a small list of things I would assume would not be an issue:
– loving kiss
– hand holding
– a casual form of snuggling (example: if everyone is gathered in a TV room just relaxing)
I would even go as far to say that even a shoulder/back/scalp rub would be appropriate in some settings.
If these are all things you already do, then I would say your boyfriend may have some unrealistic expectations based on his definition of PDA. Should that be the case, I’m lead to believe he thinks the two of you need to be joined-by-the-hip in these family settings. This is not the case. You do not always need to sit by each other. You don’t always need to be touching. A lack in proximity does not directly reflect on the seriousness of your relationship; nor indicate that there’s trouble in Lovesville.
If there were to be a conclusion to this little ramble it would be, “The little things are what should be focused on to express your affection.”
I hope that helped. If you later find yourself torn on what would be crossing the PDA line just ask, “What would little Suzy approve of?”
Best,
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