Cocktails at Tiffany's
Two cynical, single ladies trying to laugh at life. Lucky writes in gray (the color of her soul). Gizzy rants in blue (the hue of her favorite shot).(push) pin us.
That’s right, crazies, we’ve joined the masses in the form of Pinterest.
Don’t know what Pinterest is? Well, you must be living under a rock, because Pinterest is apparently ALL the rave.
From what I can tell, Pinterest made having a cork board cool again because it’s not really made of cork (!) it’s ONLINE. Shut. The. Front. Doooooor!!!!
Basically Pinterest is a way for people who aren’t creative to make it appear to others that they are, by copying, or rather, “repinning” the shit that creative people post.
In return, it makes those of us who are actually creative look dull because, “oh you just got that off PINTEREST.”
But anyone who has half a brain could find craft ideas if they really wanted to, could figure out how to make jars of salad, or could indeed plan a wedding using ACTUAL clippings and an ACTUAL bulletin board with ACTUAL push pins, but no.
So we joined. And we’re determined to laugh our way through yet another piece of technology ruining our candied brains.
So follow us, and repin our stupid shit, because we just won’t feel validated without it.
Oh, goodmorning!
So I dropped the ball a lil bitty today by not being able to crank out a post. You know what? It’s okay though, because what I’m about to show you will totally make up for it.
A few Saturday’s ago about 3am I was sleeping when I heard a text come through on my phone. I smiled in my sleep because I WANTED it to be a drunken text from high school crush telling me he loved me. Instead it was a from a number I didn’t recognize, and the body of the text said this:
If anyone knows this girl, or knows anyone who knows this girl, please apologize for me. Clearly, at 3am she sent this out to who she thought would’ve been a late night booty call. Unfortunately for her, I’m the one who received it, passed it around to all of my friends, and am now sharing it with the world.
Good day.
Q & A with Just Married Girl part III.
Welp! Here it is, the FINAL installment of our Q & A with Just Married Girl…
It is okay to say, “Hey, free dinner (or movie),” here and there and accept a date with someone about whom you might not feel crazy. I know that sounds shallow and dishonest, but as I mentioned above, you never know. Sometimes it’s nice not to be lonely, as long as the guy/girl
isn’t an abusive, lying cheat. Then, buy your own dinner.
Finally, it might be old fashioned, but I believe that all correspondence should not take place via text. At some point, you have to have one of those really long phone calls where you share random stories and stay up laughing until 1 or 2 am even though you have to get up early the next morning.
side the entire night. It was very sweet, but after several weeks of this, he still wasn’t willing to commit. We hung out nearly every day, but he didn’t want to be my boyfriend. When I met another guy at the bookstore we started talking on the phone, my soon-to-be college boyfriend was so jealous, he scrapped his reluctance and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was elated.
After about eight months of dating, he started to get freaked out about our relationship, but instead of talking to me about it like a normal person, he started a fight with me and refused to talk to me for a full twenty-four hours. I was a wreck. Then, he broke into my house and stole something very serious from me with plans to return it before I awoke. I happened to wake up and absentmindedly look in on this thing, and when I noticed it was gone, I called the police. It
wasn’t until they arrived and I began to look around that I realized who it was that broke into my house. I was devastated and embarrassed and went home to my parents for a couple of weeks. I ended up missing several classes, and I lost a lot of weight. Everything hurt: eating, breathing, thinking. I just cried all the time.
Finally, I got it together and went back to school. All of my teachers (except for my art professor) were understanding, and I was able to make up the work. My ex was seeing another girl already (!), so I just tried to keep going. The problem was that I was behind in photography and needed help. The only person I knew who had taken the class was my ex, and like an idiot, I called him and asked him for help as a friend. He agreed, and we walked all through West Chester, taking pictures and having a great time. That night, he showed up at my house with a ten page letter apologizing for everything and asking to get
back together. He broke up with the other girl and was eager to have me forgive him. Like an idiot who was still very infatuated, I eventually took him back, and we were inseparable until the next fall when he broke up with me again. I dated a great guy in the meanwhile, but my heart still ached, and by spring, we were together yet again.
In between that time, he wasn’t a particularly great boyfriend. He was good at large romantic gestures, but he was an irresponsible human being and he was more interested in having fun with his friends and God knows who else than he was spending time with me. I don’t doubt that we loved one another, perhaps in different ways, but we were woefully incompatible. It took a long time, but after a lot of crying and a lot of denial, I started dating again, and this helped me to get over my sadness. We’ve kept in touch off and on over the years, but when he asked me if I wanted to get together before he moved in with
his now-wife, and when he left me a voicemail the week before his wedding in what I guess was a bout of cold feet, I knew I was so much better off without him.
What’s funny is that I have zero animosity towards him now or any feelings really, despite everything. He has a hyper-normal job in a bank and has a wife and a son, and I can’t help but think of him as an old friend or distant family member. If I ran into him on the street, I’d stop to say hello, but it wouldn’t be awkward or painful or anything. I wish him well, and that’s about it. Maybe it’s because I’m happy where I ended up in life, and I’m sure that Mike is the one for me, and I guess I’ve realized that my experience with my college boyfriend was nothing more than a bump on the way and that my real love story started with Mike.
Same goes for my guy friends.
Q & A with Just Married Girl part II.
Here it is, part II of our Q & A with Just Married Girl!
try to impress upon him is that he should treat all people with respect. There’s this lyric in an Editor’s song that says, “People are fragile things…Be careful what you put them through,” and I think that’s good life advice. It’s important to be genuine and to do the things you say you’re going to do, but to also be empathetic and compassionate. I want him to protect his heart but not in a way that inflicts undue pain and suffering on others.
Q & A with Just Married Girl part I.
Gizzy & I are pretty freaking pumped to share a three-part series with you, the Q & A with Just Married Girl!
If you haven’t met Gina, she is pretty much our go-to gal for life advice, and she’s awesome. She’s like us, only better, and married, with a cute baby boy. So we racked her brain for answers to our most passionate, burning questions and she came through with some helpful answers. Check out her blog here, and get comfortable for a good interview!
How did you know Mike was “The One?”
This is going to sound silly, but I knew from the moment we met that there was something special and different about Mike. We’d only been dating a week when I told my aesthetician that he was “the one.” Then a few months later, even though things were going along just fine, I began to panic. All of my other relationships were failures, so why would this one work?
Mike and I are compatible on a lot of levels. Sure, we love seeing movies and we love to travel, but we have more in common than just our interests. The way we see the world–the way we feel about life, love, family, politics, religion–these things are all in sync. Not only do our temperaments work well together, but we have similar energy levels, too. When I feel like sitting on the couch and being lazy, chances are, he would like to do the same. If he suggests a trip into
the city for dinner or to see a show, I think it’s a great idea. Though I believe that each half of a couple should have his or her own thing, in my experience, it’s a high priority to be more alike than different when it comes to relationships.
Lastly, there was nothing “wrong” between us. Sure, I was a commitment-phobe who spent unnecessary time worrying that it would all fall apart, but once I calmed down and learned to have fun and stop obsessing, I was ready to see that there were no major warnings or problems in our relationship. In fact, it was rather easy. Mike is kind, good-natured, generous, funny, smart and he’s interested in the world around him. He is loving and supportive, and we have the best time together. Plus, he’s a super dad. There really is no other person for me, and I’m glad I finally realized it!
You’ve told us before that you dated some “wrong” guys in your 20s, how did you make the transition from the wrong to the right type of guys, and how did you know they were the right type of guys?
I’d say spotty self-esteem and a serious case of denial were the two biggest culprits in my unsuccessful relationships. I was behaving as though I didn’t deserve better, and this lead to occasions where I spent way too long with someone who was all wrong for me. I’m not even sure I was conscious of what I was doing or feeling at the time, but I know that I should have parted ways with several guys after one or two dates instead of letting it drag on for weeks, months, or (painfully) years.
Also, I would ignore warning signs that could have saved me a lot of time and energy. In some cases, my instincts were telling me to
move on five minutes through the first conversation. Other times, red flags arose later. In both cases, I decided to ignore what I knew to be true and tried to make things work (in my mind) because I was infatuated with the idea of being in a relationship. Maybe the guy was cute and I was disappointed that he was such a colossal jerk, or maybe, I just wanted someone to go to the movies with, but in every case, I should have moved on as soon as I realized that there was some kind of deal breaker in the way (i.e. “I still live with my ex-girlfriend, but we’re just friends.” Um, no. Next!)
The right guys were genuine, kind-hearted, considerate and easy to be with. This is what most girls refer to as “the nice guy.” A first instinct would be to deny any kind of feeling for this guy because he’s just too sweet (read: dull). Instead of dismissing the nice guy, give him a real once over. Don’t confuse lack of drama with lack of a spark. It might take a few dates/long phone conversations, but often, the good guy you should have dated for years is the one that you
thought was “just a friend”. You won’t realize this until much, much later, of course.
When you were a little girl, what did you think your life would be like in your mid-twenties and in your thirties?
When I was a little girl, I thought I would be a famous actress/writer in my thirties. I thought I’d be a multi-talented celebrity with excellent clothes and at least one Academy Award. I must have practiced that speech a million times.
I must have thought I would be married with kids, but this was more because every adult seemed to be have these things. In fact, I didn’t realize it was something to worry about. I just thought that everyone got older and got married, just as easily as a they might go out to buy a gallon of milk. It wasn’t a concern of my mid to late twenties, really.
If you could’ve done one thing differently while you were dating, what would it be?
In my dating life, I wish I (a) paid attention to warning signs and ended relationships that I knew in my heart would never work and (b) didn’t waste time worrying about not being married. I love being married, but since Mike and I got hitched a couple of years ago, life has handed us some difficulties. In our first year of marriage, I lost a pregnancy, Mike’s mom was diagnosed with cancer and passed away, and we lost the sale of our condo on the day of closing, thereby taking on two mortgages and losing a considerable amount of money once we found another buyer five months later. Sure we got through these things
together, but I have since learned that the challenges and low points in life don’t disappear just because I walked down the aisle. This is something about which I was naive in my dating life. I thought that the end of sadness/loneliness was over once that ring was slipped on my finger, but instead, I’ve added a new layer to my life, some of it wonderful (read: Jude) and some of it, not so much (see above).
If I could go back and shake some sense into my younger, single self, I’d tell her to stop worrying and to enjoy herself. That girl got two graduate degrees, traveled, and bought her own house. She was cool and happy, and she didn’t even know it.
Come back tomorrow for Part II! And don’t forget to join me, Luckster, TONIGHT as I bash The Bachelor via Twitter! So follow us, @cocktailsattiff and use #thebachelor to follow along in the fun!
3rd times a charm?
I should warn you that if you’re looking for some LOLZ today, this is not the place for you. I’m about to get into some tres heavy shit. However, I would appreciate all of your advice 
love yas!
Remember my friend Betty, the one who tried to eff things up with HSC while inadvertainly making me feel good about my own life because hers is so messed up? The saga continues…
Wednesday after work I came home to find a text from Betty, “I started drinking at 4 with browniesp.” I wrote back saying, “Huh? Why are you drinking with brownies.” And she called.
Before I even had time to say hello she said, “Do you have a beer in your hand? Cause you might want to get one. I’m about to drop a bomb on you.” A phrase that is all too familiar coming from Betty. Knowing I would need it, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and told her to drop away.
She started by saying her and her boyfriend’s credit wasn’t approved for the house they are trying to buy. But they only needed to improve it by 40 points and then they could get it with no problem, her plan was to have her ex husband take her off accounts she didn’t sign off on that he had delinquent payments for. “Then my credit will go up, and we can get it.” Being the financial connoisseur that I am, I know that it will take years to get those things off her credit report. But I had a feeling that wasn’t the giant bomb so I agreed and let her lie to herself that they’d be able to buy it before the summer.
Then she proceeds to tell me that her boyfriend told her he had been looking at rings, planned to buy one, and was going to propose this spring when they took a trip to the West Coast. So my response? “Wow, why would he tell you that, it should be a surprise!” Her response? “Well, mother fucker got me knocked up.” Then the conversation continued as follows:
Gizzy: What, what, what? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Betty: Yeah, we were going to get married in a few weeks. But, I’m drunk right now, so obviously I’m not keeping it. Oh and it’s twins. So now we’re thinking this summer.
Gizzy: Oh my god. Twins? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Betty: Yeah, we decided that we want to buy a house and travel. I want to do things right this time, you know get married THEN have a baby. Traveling and getting a house just seems like more fun.
Then, you know the conversation when on a little more and I just kept saying oh my god.
While I was talking to her I couldn’t really process what was going on and it took talking to Lucky about it to calm me down and really get a grasp on what was happening.
A little backstory that I’ve never mentioned during any of Betty’s drama. This will be Betty’s 3rd abortion, and she has 1 child. Back in college she had her first, then she had her second when her and her now ex-husband were on the rocks and her daughter was a little over a year old, and then now she’s going to have another one because she wants to have fun. When she had the first two she didn’t tell me about it until after the procedure was over. The first time I was the only person that knew, other than her parents and the baby’s father. With the second, she told me, her husband, and one other friend. But this time she said other than her boyfriend I am the only one she’s telling.
I told Lucky all about it, how it didn’t seem to really have an impact on Betty at all. She didn’t seem upset or worried, she was just kind of whatever about it. It also didn’t seem as though Betty had thought it all the way through. Having an abortion is just always the solution to her and she doesn’t think it’s a big deal.
Don’t get me wrong, both Lucky and I are pro-choice. It’s her body, her family, she can do what she wants and I will support her. But it becomes a problem when she is doing it excessively. And she is.
Instead of using birth control, she just gets an abortion. She’s told me numerous times that she doesn’t want to be on birth control because it makes her crazy and fat. Which to me, is no excuse, especially since there are many alternative birth control methods to the pill that don’t make you crazy and fat, like OH condoms. But you know what, I’m not here to lecture, she is a grown ass woman and obviously knows that sex makes babies.
Anyway, I was telling Lucky that since I am the only person she is telling about this and I assume that I am the only person that knows about all 3 abortions, I feel like it’s my responsibility to say something and ask her, how are you going to make sure this doesn’t happen again? Since obviously having to go through this awful procedure isn’t enough to knock some sense into her, I’ll have to do it.
Lucky brought up a good point, that clearly Betty doesn’t realize the risks associated with having an abortion, let alone 3, and childbirth. Sure, right now she is fertle mertle, but what about after she has this procedure done? Her and her boyfriend DO want to have children someday. But what if this is it? Things go wrong, and abortion procedures are shady, she may not be able to have children after this. It doesn’t seem like the thought of not being able to get pregnant has occurred to her, simply because she has been pregnant 4 times and is only 26.
I also find it hard to believe she doesn’t really want the babies. She was just telling me not 2 months ago that her and her boyfriend were talking about having kids. She wanted want now (back then) and he wanted to wait, so they were waiting. I can see that she is probably afraid he will up and leave her in the middle of the night (which is what I told Lucky not a week ago before I knew about any of this would probably happen) and then she’ll be left with a 4 year old and twin babies. So maybe she is letting him make the call because she doesn’t want to lose him. I honestly don’t know.
What I do know is that I can’t sit here and let her do this for a 3rd time without making sure she has really thought it through.
Let me be straight here, I am not trying to change her mind or talk her out of anything, I’m not here to judge her or be anything but supportive – but for the sake of my friend, her family, her unborn children, and my own mental health I want to make sure she really knows what she’s doing. I know that if I say the wrong thing to her or come at her with the wrong attitude this could be the end of our friendship, so I am really thinking about this before I say anything.
Any advice, concerns, personal stories anyone has that will help please feel free to share. I know it’s a touchy subject, so if you’d like to share something privately feel free to send us an email cocktailsattiffanys@gmail.com. I appreciate all the advice I can get!
A BBM conversation with Lucky & Gizzy.
January 16, 2012, 10:03 PM
Lucky: Not to self: use the term “grated cheese” instead of shredded cheese. Like wtf is shredded cheese put through a damn shredder??? lol
Gizzy: Haha yes that’s true. Grated cheese would be the proper term
Lucky: Like god. Shredded cheese.
Gizzy: Haha yeah. Grated cheese sounds classier too.
Lucky: I invited Shredder over, along with the ninja turtles. He took care of the cheese. Hahaha I just cracked myself up.
Gizzy: I’m literally LOLing at that
Lucky: OJ is giving me the stink eye for shaking the bed.
Gizzy: Ohh man. I need an animal to keep me company since a man isn’t in the plan for this year.
Lucky: You do. I want to get a scottie dog and name him Charley. Charles. I like the name Jazzy. But I need sophisticated witty names.
Gizzy: I like animals that have a Mr. or a Mrs. in front of their name. Mrs. Buttersworth.
Lucky: I could name it after a jazz musician. Louis Armstrong.
Gizzy: Mr. Louis Armstrong.
Lucky: Buddy Guy.
Gizzy: Haha yeah Buddy Guy is cute. I love dogs with names that are so human. I would totes name a dog like Marleen or Eleanor. Or Robert.
Lucky: Lol BOB.
Gizzy: Get over here and clean up this poop ROBERT!
Lucky: You should get a rat and name it Shredder.
Gizzy: omg
Lucky: Like just think if you went to someone’s house and they were like, “oh, that’s Shredder.”
Gizzy: haha my pet rat.
Facebook Statuses From Last Night: Gizzy’s Cousins Edition
For all of eternity I have said that if I ever get married I will elope in a foreign country and invite only my parents, my husband’s parents, and Lucky. Here are some examples of why:
I present to you each of my cousin’s most recent facebook statuses, plus a little commentary from me:
you think your so hick by the way you talk and what you wear.. news flash hun, clothes can be bought, and you clearly watch the guys too much.. you cant just be a hick after one summer, you should be your whole life.. you gotta live it not wear it.(: (No. No smiley face. First, like 15 people liked this status. Second, yes the way you talk and what you wear is what makes you a hick. After that one summer I am assuming the individual she is referring to participated in hick like activities such as riding 4 wheelers, attending monster truck rallys, and wearing camouflage not for funsies but to hunt wild animals – as one must do these summer activities in order to be accepted into the coveted hick crowd, which my cousin is clearly a part of. If you ask me, talking hick + dressing hick + participating in hick like activities = hick – but what would I know? I’m an outsider.)
The first nite we hang out we wrecked ur truck, went to jail u lost us job, ur license and got chared with endangering my life and u still want to be with me . I only have one question y? (Christ.)
just because you live in our state doesnt mean your a hilljack, just because you got a pair of boots doesnt mean your cool.. just because you drink mcdonalds sweet tea does not mean your not from the south.. (So like, what’s the effing deal with hilljacks and why would anyone in their right mind try to be one on purpose? Also, I’m confused in regards to the McDonalds sweet tea. First, we are not from the south. Second, did I miss the memo that it is only acceptable for Yankees to drink McDonalds sweet tea to prove to other disbelieving northers they are in fact from the north? It’s arguable that people all around the world drink McDonalds sweet tea everyday because not only is it good, but it is 1 dollar. Also, boots do make you cool…
…The club does not lie.)
ya right, like i really coulda said somethin, you wouldnt have heard me if a train was coming.. (??? I dont get it? This is the status of the mother of the two hick-wannabe haters so that kind of explains it.)
At home watchin tv (Someone actually liked this.)
Brad locked himself in the bathroom. Stuck for 1/2 hr. Chad was throwing a fit the whole time. Grandpa and grandma had to take the door off to get him out! Then they just sat in the floor hugging each other. Must be a twin thing……….(LOLZ!!!)
Heading back from lunch… Gonna be a good day… Cold day… But a goodern (Maybe cousins 1 & 3 from above could direct their hilljack posing friends to this cousin for hilljack lessons.)
I got an infestion problem at the house today. So if anyone goes by my house don’t yell out immagration. There’s a crew of mexicans fixing my roof. (Le sigh.)
Ya know fightin in a basement offers a lot of difficulties.. #1 being your fightin in a basement!! (I’m not sure that I care to know what this is about.)
Apparently my mom can roll a joint out of a sugar packet and parsley flakes what can ur mom do? (Unfortunately, I was present for this. On our cruise last year my aunt did indeed roll a joint out of a sugar packet and oregano, lit it, and pretended to smoke it. Her son is proud.)
To funny!! We are eating at taco bell, and the we will rock you song comes on. The part where they say ” you big disgrace” Riley yells out loud ” you biscuit case” lol I thought it was to funny not to share (LOLZ^2!!)
Exactly one year ago today Kyle told me he loved me for the first time!! I love you!!! <3 (Oh fuck off, you’re 19 you don’t know what love is.)
Justified 2012.
New Year’s Eve was obviously awful for me, but Gizzy kept insisting that 2012 was/is indeed OUR year. It is. It has to be, because the world is ending this year, remember?
I want to believe her, so I suggested we come up with a slogan for the year; some kind of catch phrase that we could say to each other if we were feeling low or unsure about something in our lives.
I racked my brain for sassy sayings. My initial thought was that of Atlanta Housewife, Sheree, “Who gonna check me, boo?” But Gizzy isn’t really into the Housewives as much as I am. We will be using this as a backup slogan if Justified doesn’t quite cut it.
The saying needed to be something that meant a lot to both of us. So, we thought some more.
Finally, I was on to something. Some of Gizzy and I’s fondest memories are from high school, when we’d drive around the rich neighborhoods where all the hot boys lived and be stalkers. Chances are, they probably all saw us drive by and that’s why we are still single. (Yep yep! That is why HSC does not like me.)
Anyway, our stalking adventures were always sound-tracked with the one and only Justin Timberlake (also knowns as J-Tim, or Mr. J-T.) circa 2003, album “Justified.”
I thought of the songs from that CD, perhaps we could take one of the lyrics and use it as our catch phrase. But the more we discussed, it was impossible, because every single one of those songs is fucking awesome. So, we decided on Justified 2012 as our phrase.
Because everything we do in 2012 is going to be Justified, just because we did it, and it doesn’t need any additional reason for being.
Shortly after the new year, Mr. JT decided to up and get engaged and I was super worried. We could not have a role model that was ENGAGED for 2012. But, as always, Gizzy assured me that our role model is J-Tim circa 2003, when he was single and singing songs about Brittany Spears to go cry him a river.
So whatever with the engagement.
The glorious thing about this catch phrase is that I really don’t have to ask anyone’s opinion on anything I do, because I know it’s Justified. And as a reminder, Justified (the album) has become a regular soundtrack in the Lucky household.
Don’t be surprised if I’ve thought of a whole new dance number for “Senorita” by spring.
As a reminder to keep things Justified in 2012, Lucky posted the Like I Love You music video to my facebook wall. It is a constant reminder to keep everything we do Justified and to not let guys take a huge crap on us this year, like they have in the past.
Things about this music video by itself that can keep us motivated to be Justified in 2012:
1. J-Tim looking smoking hot, if we keep things Justified we will land a man like him. Obvi.
2. The awesome late 90′s early 00′s fashion. That 7-eleven t-shirt is CLUTCH to a Justified year and only people who are in fact Justified can pull off irony such as that.
3. The N’Sync style dance moves. Seeing those will be a constant reminder that we deserve a hot guy, like a guy in a boyband. A hot guy who can also do those moves is 100% Justified.
4. The black hat and leather pants explain themselves.
5. The fact that after watching J-Tim being all over that music video girl you are left with a horned up feeling inside. Horned up feelings are synonyms to Justified.
That’s pretty much it. I can’t focus enough after number 5 to continue listing awesome things about this video/album.
Since this blog is a major part of our lives and we pretty much tell our readers everything that goes down we’d like you all to help take part in making this a Justified year for us. If you see us falling back into our old ways of letting guys poop on us, just let us know, a simple – JUSTIFIED – will do and we’ll be back to our Justified reality.
And with that, we wish you a Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, because he was pretty effing Justified.
