There’s a great bathroom debate!

My office has been having a lot of bathroom issues lately.

It’s not as gross as it sounds, I promise.

In November, they told us the women’s bathroom on our second floor (where there is both a men’s and a women’s restroom with multi-stalls) was “Out of order” and couldn’t be used.

I didn’t ask questions and started going to the 1st floor bathroom, which is a one-holer…and freezing cold, if I might add.

But when a month passed, and our bathroom was still broken, people started asking questions. We found out that all of the toilets in the bathroom worked, there were just broken tiles on the floor. So, a construction crew came, ripped up the broken tiles, and then we never saw them again.

So, I started using the second floor bathroom (at my own risk) and simply avoiding the parts of the floor with no tiles. Didn’t bother me much. Well, it’s May, and the tiles are still missing (as well as the construction crew).

Last Friday, a chain of emails started in the office regarding our current bathroom situation. Please enjoy:

Hello, Staff.
 
This is to let everyone know Jason has decided that the men’s room on the 2nd floor will now be used by the ladies since there are more women than men on that floor.  So, gentlemen, please don’t use that restroom after today.  Also, I have a “Women’s Restroom” sign to tape to the door if someone would like to come downstairs and put it up there for me.  (Ladies, I recommend not using it until the sign is on the door in case the men should forget.)
 
Thanks,
 
Christine

*   *   *

RE: 2nd floor men’s bathroom

So if we are confined to the men’s bathroom on the first floor near the mini conference room, we are either going to need a lock on the door or a divider put up by the urinal. I can’t speak for everyone, but there are certain types of exposure I tend to shy away from. -Steve

*   *   *

RE: 2nd floor men’s bathroom

Remind me why they can’t fix the ladies’ room on the second floor? Jim

*   *   *

RE: 2nd floor men’s bathroom

Guys, I guess we’re in the dog pound now for no fault of our own, this is why I choose to have 2 restrooms to myself at home. Frank

*   *   *

The bathroom by the staircase is unisex and the door locks in that one. The other bathroom can be awkward. Ernie

*   *   *

Christine, would you mind asking Facility Services to put a lock on the men’s room door on the first floor, or make some other suggestions for how to improve that facility? All the guys, from Jason on down, have commented that it has a very awkward set up. Thanks!
K

No, this is where I work. Let that sink in for a minute.

This is what I decided…

Alright, soooo last week I filled y’all in on the trials and tribulations of my job.

This is what I decided.

For now, I’m going to hold off on making some giant, ta-da plan, and just hunker down and hunt for new jobs. Because, sometimes, a problem just isn’t worth fixing.

So, yesterday I updated my resume. And today, I applied for two jobs that both look pretty cool. And you know what? I feel really good about that decision, because today has been a real shit hole in the office.

Of course, it’s Monday, so there’s that. Then, I’m getting some serious work done, and that whole memo thing starts where one person calls me, tells me something to do, I do it, then someone comes in my office and tells me to do the exact same thing, and then I get an email an hour later saying, nevermind.

graaarrrrrr.

Meanwhile, I’ve been watching old episodes of MTV’s Life of Ryan while I do my work—it really makes the day more pleasant.

Anyway, enough about that.

While I didn’t do anything festive on Easter, I was generally just really happy to be relaxing, in my bed, watching DVDs of Sex and The City, because last year on Easter, my then-boyfriend was cheating on me.

I’m just so happy that I’m not in that situation, and that I’ve moved on.

Anyway, that’s all for now…

 

BACK!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys!

If you’re still reading this blog, THANK YOU. Once again, I apologize that we have gone missing. We are both still alive!!

I feel like everything has happened since 2014 even started, and then when I sit down to write about it, I don’t even know where to start or what to say.

Truthfully, the reason for me not blogging lately is because I’ve just been SOOOO busy. And no, I don’t mean that in the sense of, omg I’m so busy and I’m so kewl.

I mean that in, I have been working my ass off. I’m lucky (heh heh) if I get a few hours of sleep each night.

So, I suppose I’ll just start with that.

Remember Fatso? My coworker? Well, when I came back to work after the holiday break, he got fired. Seriously. The DAY we got back from a 2-week break, he was fired. Like I was here, in my office, and he got fired.

Okay, you get the point.

Well, I was kind of shocked and not surprised all at once, because, let’s face it, he was a little crazy.

But at the same time, stuff changed IMMEDIATELY. Not only was the energy in the office different, but our web team of 5 was knocked down to 4. One of those workers being a temp, so in March our team of 4 became 3.

And while that sounds exciting, guess who has been picking up the slack? THIS MOTHER FUCK.

Did I get a raise? Nope.

The part of Fatso’s job that I’m covering (and have been covering for 4 months) is a giant social media job that pretty much never stops.

I’m not going to lie to you, I have a little more respect for the guy now that I’m doing his dirty work.

And so, not only did the work at my day job pick up, but I’ve still had to maintain my busy freelance schedule so I can ay my bills and occasionally pay for some fun stuff.

So, things have been rough, to say the least.

But, I’m currently working on a plan to present to my boss to see if I can get a raise, therefore lowering some of my freelance workload. Has anyone out there ever done that?

I need all of the help, advice, and encouragement I can get.

HELP.

I promise, I’ll talk to you guys soon!!!

xoxo

Why am I being punished?

Hey guys!!

I’m sorry it’s been forever—I have SO much to tell you & I promise, there is REASON for me not being around to tell y’all about my exciting life. However, we’ll get to that on a rainy day. Today, I’ve got a little story for you and I hope you’ll weigh in.

Exactly one week ago, I was a guest on my friend’s video podcast. It was a short 40-minute live comedy act and it was pretty funny. The audience was mostly men, and as soon as the show went off-air, some of these guys were texting my friend wanting to know who I was and if I was single.

Oooohhhh heeeeeyyy!!

So one of these guys, we’ll call him MAP, sends me a message on Facebook and after a few exchanges, he asks me for my number. We text a little more and then he asks me if I want to get a simple drink on Friday (yes, Valentine’s Day).

I say yes, and I was pretty excited about it.

At first, I got the vibe that this guy was genuine, nice, he has a good job, owns a condo, has a car, has a degree, is involved in a softball team, has a podcast…

Overall, I was thinking, “Hey, this guy has a life,” which is pretty attractive to me, because I’ve got a lot going on, too.

So, we meet up for drinks, and he orders a nice scotch, I got a vodka. We talked about work, our friends, things like that, but I noticed that he kept talking about his “Budget.”

Now, let’s get this straight. I, too, am on a budget. I get it. And I am NOT looking for someone who is going to swoop in and solve my money problems. However, my money issues are not something I talk about with people I’ve just met.

He was mentioning it so much, that I felt like I should pick up the tab.

So we have two drinks and leave the bar. He walks me to my door, and he goes in for the kiss, and he was holding me so tight I almost fell over. And the kiss… was very forced. Like there were (was?) teeth and tongue and I opened my eyes once because I was trying to pull away.

I went to my apartment with mixed feelings. He seemed nice, like a guy who’s got it all together, but that kiss was horrible…

However, he asked me if i wanted to hang out again and I said sure.

But since then, he’s been texting NON STOP.

Like, we’re talking, he texts me so often, I don’t even have time to answer the questions he is asking me. Sometimes, in a text, he will even ask me what time he should text me.

I don’t know what to do… I feel bad, but we’ve only been on one date and I am already feeling so smothered.

It’s one thing if we have lots to talk about, but it’s another thing, if it’s forced, and I feel like asking me questions like, “What are you having for lunch?” “What’s your political stance?” “Can you do any impressions?” is forced conversations.

Am I horrible? HELP.

Time to lay on the couch.

Tomorrow, I meet with my therapist (Lopez) for the first time in a month.

He’s been trying to push my appointments back to once a month, but I protested, until now—I felt like things were going pretty good.

And I would say, for the most part, things are pretty good.

You might recall my post last week, which was basically a list of successes I’ve encountered just in the last month. Really exciting!

But over this last year, I’ve found that in moments of success like that, sometimes it’s even more difficult for me to put on a happy face.

I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’ve got one theory.

I feel like I get so excited over these personal victories, but then my high comes crashing to a halt when I realize I’ve got no one to share my success with.

Okay, maybe that’s a little bit dramatic.

I do have good friends.

But I don’t have that guy…you know; the one who’s going to come see me succeed, cheer me on, and tell me how proud of me he is.

Am I pathetic for wanting that?

Over the weekend, I was asked to participate in a literature event; where I would sell books, do an interview, and a reading.

Wow… that’s been one of my biggest dreams for almost 10 years.

I was giddy. And I pictured myself there. And it was amazing.

And then I pictured the event being over, and me, alone, packing up my things and driving home to Blanche, my cat, then me eating leftovers, and crawling into bed by myself.

Sad.

I know these things take time, and I know, I’ve been through a FUCK TON this year. My emotions are certainly changing every single day.

But I’m just ready for things to be even keel. I’m ready for things to be okay again.

Let me elaborate.

After I found out D was cheating on me, I was upset for about a day. Then, about a week later, I found out he got dumped.

This made me feel better. It even made me laugh a little.

About a week after that, I found out he got fired from his job.

For stealing cash.

This made me dance in the middle of the grocery store.

Later, when I told this story to one of my guy friends, he told me that was mean of me, and that I shouldn’t wish ill on someone.

Let me set the record straight. I never wished ill upon him, I was merely celebrating the fact that justice had been served.

Although I now know that Karma is a real thing, finding out that not only was my ex cheating on me, but he was also stealing money the entire time…makes me wonder about the kind of person I am.

How did I have clearly NO idea who this person was? We practically lived together and little did I know he was living like 3 lives.

Since all of this went down, I’ve been getting several calls from blocked numbers…could it be D?

I have no idea.

I hate to admit it, but all of this really has me questioning relationships in general. I feel like the more I date, the more clueless I become.

I spoke to my therapist about this, and he told me it was okay to feel this way. He said it was understandable that I’m feeling guarded and even a little bit bitter.

According to Lopez, when I find the one, he’s going to be the one even if I’m guarded, and even if it takes me 6 months to come around.

This thought comforts me. Tremendously.

Thoughts?

Not dead.

Hey yo!!!!!!

I’m so so so sorry I’ve been MIA for a few weeks… I have been going through lots of crap and then just got swamped and…well, I’m still swamped, but I could use a little distraction.

So, where should I begin?

Well a few weeks ago, someone finally stepped forward and told me D was cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship.

Yep.

Let that sink in.

Cheating on me the whole time.

Talk about a punch to the stomach.

The person who told me knows his current girlfriend (well, I think she has dumped him since) and found out the details. So he was lying to me the whole time.

I spent a day being pissed and a few days connecting the dots.

I will say that it answers lots of questions for me, but it’s not really the most fun way to get answers.

It makes me regret how much time I apparently wasted on him. Yes, wasted.

I already knew he was a piece of shit, did I need to learn it again?

Hrmph.

Since then, I’ve been fucking a trainer at my gym.

Yes, fucking.

He’s fine as hell and that’s pretty much all I need to know about him.

Call me slutty and cynical at this point, but I just couldn’t have the last person I slept with be D.

And so far, I do NOT regret this decision.

But as you all know, nothing pans out the way I plan, now does it?

I feel better.

After I gave myself a day to sulk about my ugly rejection from “Erik”—my first meet up on Match, I am feeling a little better.

It wasn’t that I was sitting across from Erik thinking OMFG, he’s so awesome, it was more about me being worried that I said the wrong things, or that I just wasn’t interesting anymore.

Either way, I reminded myself that I signed up for 30 days and in those 30 days, I’m going to put myself out there, even if it means being out of my comfort zone.

So, I sent a message to the guy I’ve been messaging with since day 2, “Aaron,” to see if he’d like to meet. He said that would “be cool,” so I gave him my number and we’ll see if he actually makes the plans.

Aside from him, I don’t have any other prospects, which means I’m going to have to sift through my 1500 “matches” again and see if there is anyone worth messaging.

Now is when you share your experiences with online dating…

‘I think I made a huge mistake’

That’s what D’s text said Wednesday morning at 12:46 am.

HA. HA. HA.

I just had to laugh when I saw it…

Let’s dissect.

First of all, YOU THINK??!!!

No, asshole, you DID make a huge mistake.

Second of all, AN huge mistake, as in one?

No, you made many, several, a lot of huge mistakes.

After I got over my initial laugh, I thought, “WOW, good tactic.”

The message is so vague it almost demands a response—is he referring to letting me go? The drinking? The arrest? Something that happened 5 minutes prior?—I will never know because I didn’t reply.

I really wasn’t tempted to. He obviously wants to continue these games, but I refuse to lock myself in that emotional hell.

Today, I feel free.

Current state of…things.

I am alive after what was a great and awful weekend all at once.

Last week in general was rough. While I am going through the motions of getting my life back in order, my mind is still very caught up in D drama and my heart is still in pain.

D and I tried to plan a friendship-family night a few weeks ago and he cancelled last-minute, and I felt played. Since then, we’ve done nothing but fight; he says he loves and misses me, but then doesn’t reply my messages, or make attempts to see me.

I finally had a break down Wednesday at work; crying in the women’s bathroom and decided that I just needed to cut him out of my life. So I sent him a text asking him to come pick up his TV Friday.

The TV was his last item at my house; after he picked it up, there’d be no real reason for us to talk again. He agreed to pick it up Friday, so Friday morning (complete with a hangover) I dragged the near-60-inch flat screen into the hallway of my complex, threw a towel over it and sent him a text, “TV is ready for pickup” at 7:06 a.m.

Just as I expected, he replied to my message at 1:15 pm, saying “Can’t make it today.”

Little did he know that I’d already planned on him saying that, so my plan was to put the TV back in my apartment, keep it, and never talk to him again.

That’s exactly what I did. I didn’t reply to his message and I haven’t heard from him since.

It’s been 3 days—the longest time we’ve gone without talking to each other in 5 months—and I’m experiencing a range of emotions.

I had prepped myself for a weekend of drama; expecting D to send me rude texts, perhaps even show up at my door in the wee hours of the morning, blood pumping with alcohol.

But to my shock, not a peep.

Despite the silence, I hardly slept all weekend, and took out my frustrations on bowling and scrubbing my tub.

In unrelated news, I’ve got a massive crush on the new trainer, CJ, at our gym. All I can say is that he has really large muscles and that in my head we are already married and things are just perfect…